Читать книгу Beyond the Storm - Diana Finley - Страница 11

Anna is born in 1914 just before the start of the First World War, a war that is to have a fundamental effect in shaping her early life. Anna’s parents, Artur and Matilde Feldman, run a successful factory making clothes for both the ‘ready-made’ market in large stores, and for private customers. Despite having come from farming stock only a generation previously, Artur has a sharp brain for business. Matilde is from an educated, artistic and musical family. She has inherited a spontaneous flair for design. Her women’s outfits and children’s clothes are soon amongst the most sought after in fashionable Vienna. With their eldest daughter Esther, Artur and Matilde are able to move to a spacious apartment in Mariahilferstrasse, in the centre of the city.

However, challenging times lie ahead. With the break-up of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, eighty per cent of their market disappears. Profits plunge, but employees still need to be paid. Artur is a patriot; he loves Austria. Leaving Matilde to run the factory, he enlists and spends three years fighting for his country. By 1918 the Austrian economy is in ruins. Food is scarce. Despite their former affluence, the family is on the verge of starvation, as is much of the population of Vienna. There are now three young daughters to support. After the war is over, Allied occupiers set up soup kitchens to feed the most vulnerable. One child from each family is permitted to receive a hot meal each day.

Margaret, the youngest, is still being breast-fed. Anna, the middle child, is judged to be the puniest, the most deserving. She is taken to the feeding hall by Kaethe, the family’s maid. Even at four, Anna senses the deep humiliation of defeat in being fed by British soldiers.

Worse than the deprivations, Matilde contracts the Spanish flu sweeping Europe. The virulent infection kills many neighbours. Matilde becomes very ill and develops encephalitis. She is not expected to survive, but somehow she does. The infection has destroyed vital areas of her brain. At thirty-four she is left with a form of Parkinson’s disease. Year by year it deprives her of more abilities and strength, until she becomes bedridden, her body and limbs possessed by trembling, her speech a high monotone.

Life in the once fine apartment on Mariahilferstrasse centres on Matilde. She had been the mainstay of both the business and the family: shrewd with money, clever at stretching small amounts of food, and efficient at paperwork. Artur’s priority is to fulfil his wife’s needs as best he can. The children must not make noise. They cannot invite their friends home to play. Matilde must be kept comfortable and serene. Every evening Artur spends time with her after returning from work. He sits on her bed holding her hand and reports on the day’s events, and Matilde makes suggestions regarding the business.

Gradually Artur rebuilds the firm. Less educated than his wife, nevertheless he has a way with people. Naturally charming, he is popular with both men and women, and is a successful salesman. The staff are loyal; they remember Artur and Matilde’s support during the hard years. Slowly the business becomes profitable again.

Anna and her sisters live contented, protected lives. As their mother’s health deteriorates, it is Kaethe who plays a central role in caring for and nurturing the children. Although Esther, Anna and Margaret would love to have a more active mother, who can play and read with them like many of their friends’ mothers, Kaethe surrounds them with love and affection. For a few years their lives are relatively carefree. They attend a mixed private school, the majority of whose pupils come from homes as comfortable as theirs. The girls walk to school arm in arm with their friends, thinking only of fun and friendships. Lotte, Leila, Gretchen, Magdelene, Wilma, Sara and Monika – all are indistinguishable from one another.

The girls light candles for Hanukkah and then clip them onto the fir tree, to be lit on Christmas Eve. They wish each other a happy new year for the first of January, and again for Rosh Hashanah. Other than these enjoyable events, they are scarcely aware of who is Christian, who is Jewish. Artur is a pragmatic rather than a devout man. He rarely goes to temple, and then only to meet a business associate. Viennese society is not without its divisions, but these relate largely to identifying those who live in a less smart neighbourhood, or who are less well dressed, less well spoken, less witty.

Anna is pretty, petite, with black curls and dark eyes. She is hard working and diligent at school, her marks always in the top three of her class. She is equally good at sports: skiing, skating, swimming, basketball and gymnastics. She is regarded as sweet-natured and kind by the other girls, and polite by her teachers. Despite these many attributes, Anna is not priggish or conceited. She has a quick temper and a wicked sense of humour, which endears her to her friends. Despite her popularity, Anna has a more troubled side to her temperament. Perhaps the household’s preoccupation with her mother’s needs and illness induces in the growing child a tendency to occasional bouts of melancholic contemplation. From an early age, she keeps a diary in which she records ‘days of sad thoughts’.

One day as they walk to the bakery together to buy the morning rolls, Anna, at the age of eight or nine years, astounds the down-to-earth Kaethe.

‘Kaethe, why am I inside this person looking out?’

‘Inside? Inside who? What are you talking about, child?’

‘I mean, why am I me? I could have been anyone. Why was I born inside this body and not someone else’s?’

‘Well, now you’re asking! That’s not a question for poor Kaethe, but for God. And it’s not something a little girl like you needs to worry about.’

‘But I do worry about it! Sometimes I think how easily I could have been Laura or Sara, or a Hottentot living in the desert or an Eskimo girl in an igloo, or even … a … a boy!’ Kaethe stops walking and puts an arm around Anna’s shoulders.

‘Oh my goodness! Oh dear me, a Hottentot? I think I like you just the way you are, Liebchen – and Mamma and Papa don’t want a different little girl, they want you! Just be happy with who you are. There’s no need to brood so much.’

Anna sighs. If only Kaethe would understand that it’s not that she wants to be a different person, it’s just that these questions are troubling. However, in the family, such a quest for answers is regarded as self-absorption, which is not to be encouraged. Despite these concerns, in the main Anna’s childhood is as her parents would wish: contented and cheerful.

Over time her life begins to change, gradually at first, almost imperceptibly, but then with increasing momentum. Every day, her best friend Laura calls at Mariahilferstrasse, and they walk to school together giggling and whispering. One morning, when Anna is fifteen, Laura does not ring the bell. What can have happened? Anna worries that perhaps Laura is unwell. She is reluctant to leave without her. But it is already late, and Kaethe shoos her out of the apartment with her school bag and her morning snack. Anna walks alone to school. She drags her feet; walking on her own is no fun. In front of the school, clusters of pupils are talking together. There is Laura in the midst of a group of girls. She glances at Anna self-consciously. Anna smiles and waves at her friend.

‘Laura, what happened? Did you forget this morning?’

Laura looks uncomfortable. She looks round at her friends and back to Anna. Then she purses her lips and pulls herself upright.

‘Mutti says we don’t mix with Jews.’ She turns her back on Anna. The other girls snigger and turn away too.

Many of the girls join National Socialist youth groups. They troop off on hiking and camping trips in the Vienna Woods or into the mountains, rucksacks on their backs. They cook over open fires and sing songs in the evening. These trips seem such fun. Anna loves swimming and hiking and singing. She yearns to go too, but she and her remaining friends are not invited. In class it becomes noticeable that top marks are never given to Jewish pupils any more. Now Anna’s results are never awarded more than ‘average’.

‘You must continue to work hard and achieve the best you can, whatever the results,’ Matilde urges the girls. ‘We know how clever you are.’

Anna tries hard to concentrate on her schoolwork as before, but it is not always easy to feel the same motivation. Things do not improve as she progresses through school. The new intake of pupils is now entirely Christian. Soon after she matriculates, the teachers in her school let it be known that they are no longer prepared to teach any Jewish pupils. University courses and many professions are similarly out of bounds.

‘We have to hope this is a temporary situation,’ Anna’s father says, but he seems unconvinced.

Anna begins working as a nanny and governess, first for a number of families needing short-term support. Eventually she obtains permanent work for a wealthy Jewish family with two children. She is fond of the children, a boy of nine and a girl of six, and feels any experience will help her in the future. The children’s mother, Karin, is pleased to have intelligent adult company. Her family lives in Budapest, and she rarely sees them. Life can be lonely for Karin at times, especially when her husband, Otto, is away on business trips. Otto runs the family business, dealing in wood products and machinery. He often has to travel to other cities, and sometimes to other countries. Karin enjoys accompanying Anna and the children on visits to the park, or trips to the hills to pick berries and mushrooms. The two young women soon become relaxed and companionable together.

Otto, on the other hand, appears more distant at first. Always polite and somewhat formal with Anna, he rarely initiates conversation with her. Yet Anna finds herself strangely aware of his presence. Sometimes when she glances in his direction, she notices him looking steadily at her. She cannot help admiring Otto’s exceptional good looks. He has a strong forehead, high cheekbones, and a powerful, masculine jawline. His shiny dark hair and caramel-coloured skin look so smooth, almost as though polished. At times, in Otto’s presence, Anna is alarmed to notice a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach: a softening, a feeling of falling, almost as though she were plunging downwards on the Riesenrad in the Prater Park. She is aware too of a disconcerting quivering of her fingers whenever she watches Otto, as if they long to reach out and caress the velvety warmth of his skin.

One day in the early summer, as the children scamper ahead, Karin tells Anna they will be going on holiday to Lugano in three weeks’ time.

‘How long will you be away?’

‘How long will we be away, you mean! Of course you will have to come with us, Anna. We usually stay a month or so.’

‘But surely you want time as a family? Time with Otto?’

‘Yes, sometimes we may ask you to be with the children so he and I can have some time together. But, Anna, you must enjoy yourself too. It’s so beautiful there. The hotel is right on the lakeside. We all love it and you will too – I know it. You will have your own room, and can spend plenty of time doing as you please. You might even meet some attractive young men!’

* * *

It is now around two years since Jakob Wiener started to call at the Feldmans’ apartment. His mother and grandmother are old friends of Artur and Matilde. Anna and her sisters have known Jakob and his twin brother Paul since they were all small children. Their father has been dead since the boys were young. When Jakob and Paul approach their twenty-first birthdays, their mother and grandmother decide to give a party.

Anna loves clothes. She and Esther help one another plan their dresses. They spend hours making sketches of their plans for dress designs, which they show to Matilde. She has such an eye, her ideas and her suggestions always right, always tasteful. Soon they have made their choices. Esther, with her auburn hair and green eyes, looks striking in cream muslin. Anna decides on a pale turquoise material to set off her dark curls.

Margaret is uninterested in clothes. She is happy for her mother to select a dress for her. She has her straight brown hair cut short in the modern style. She joins the Communist Party. Despite her plainness, Margaret is popular with young men. She shows genuine interest in their views on any topic, although she does not always agree. She gazes up at them, absorbed in their arguments, transfixed by their opinions.

On the evening of the party, Jakob welcomes them all, his eyes on Anna. She is flattered by his interest. He is four years older than she is, and handsome. They dance most of the evening. He keeps returning to her. There is something proprietorial about his hand at her back as he leads her onto the dance floor. She feels secure in his hands. Month after month, they spend every spare moment together, going walking, to the sports club and to coffee houses. Anna is excited to be introduced to concerts, the opera and the theatre. Artur is not a cultured man, and circumstances have not allowed his daughters access to such experiences. Anna enjoys the attention lavished on her.

One day her father calls her into his study.

‘Anna, did you know Jakob came to speak to me this afternoon?’

‘Oh?’

‘Has he not talked to you of his plans?’

‘What plans, Papa?’

‘Jakob asked me for your hand today.’

‘My hand? I think he might have asked me first!’

Artur frowns. ‘He behaved very properly. Perhaps he wanted permission from your parents before he spoke to you. I believe he regards you as more of a challenge.’

‘Why a challenge?’

‘You are having a good time with Jakob, yes?’

Anna nods.

‘But I don’t get the impression that you are madly in love with him.’

‘I’m … very fond of him.’

‘But?’

‘It is when we go swimming together. Jakob has a good figure … but he has hair on his shoulders.’

‘What? Hair on his shoulders? You would reject a good man for such a reason? Then you are right not to marry – you are just a silly, immature girl, and not worthy of Jakob.’

Anna’s lip trembles. ‘Papa! I haven’t said I’m rejecting him. I just … need to be sure.’

‘You certainly do. I am disappointed in you. Don’t judge people by appearance alone, Anna. You’ll find it’s an unreliable way to assess a man’s worth – much less important than you think. Jakob is a fine young man, steady and reliable, as his father was too. Talk to your mamma. You need to think seriously about this – and Jakob deserves an honest answer.’

Two months later Jakob solemnly presents Anna with an engagement ring: an emerald set in a star of small diamonds.