Читать книгу Wyoming Strong - Diana Palmer - Страница 11
ОглавлениеSARA FELT GRIEF like a living thing when she remembered what Gabriel had said about Wolf Patterson. Until then, she hadn’t realized how her attitude toward him was changing. When he’d knelt in front of her in the park, spoken to her in that gentle tone, her heart had started to melt. But she knew Gabriel was right. She couldn’t afford to encourage a man like that.
Aggressive with women he wanted, Gabriel had said. So her brother knew things about him, knew that he had women.
It shouldn’t have surprised her. Wolf was an attractive man. When he wasn’t baiting her and being sarcastic, he was charming. Those blonde women she’d seen him with were certainly charmed, she thought bitterly. Blonde. Always blonde. He hated brunettes. Sara was a brunette...
The more she thought about it, the more it hurt. She’d buried herself in her studies for years, learned languages, traveled, done anything she could to force the horrible memories out of her mind. She succeeded for whole days at a time, although the nightmares came frequently, and she woke up screaming.
In the daytime there was a remedy. She could ride. She loved horses, and she was an accomplished rider. The freedom of sailing across the pastures on the back of Black Silk, the fastest of Gabriel’s geldings, was a thrill beyond description. It blew away the pain. It gave her peace.
Black Silk had a wild, free spirit, much like Sara herself. She tossed the saddle onto his back, checked the bindings and swung gracefully up onto his back. She pushed him into a full gallop across the pasture. Laughing, with her lithe body clinging to the saddle, her long black hair flying behind her, she made a picture that an artist would have loved.
But the man driving along the road, watching her, was filled with horror. She could break her neck like that!
He drove hell for leather down the road to the end of the pasture, swung the Mercedes up to the fence and slammed out of it seconds after he cut off the engine.
Sara, shocked, saw him and pulled Black Silk up at the fence, patting him to ease his nervousness. She let him walk to the watering trough and sat still while he drank, and a furious Wolf Patterson came right over the fence toward her.
“Get down,” he said in a tone that could have curdled milk.
Speechless, she just sat and looked at him.
He reached up and pulled her off the horse’s back as if she weighed nothing. He stood there, holding her in his arms off the ground, and glared into her shocked black eyes.
“You crazy little fool, you could have killed yourself!” he ground out.
“But...I always ride...like that,” she began.
His hard face was pale. His eyes were flashing like fireworks. His eyes fell to her beautiful face, to her wide black eyes, to her soft bow of a mouth. He groaned, almost shivering with hunger, and suddenly brought his mouth right down over Sara’s soft lips without one single sign of hesitation.
He felt her body go stiff. His mouth insisted, but the harder he kissed her, the more she stiffened. After a few seconds, he realized that she was frightened of him.
He forced himself to slow down, although her mouth was the sweetest nectar he’d tasted in years. He smoothed his lips tenderly over her top lip, teasing it, toying with it, in a silence broken only by the raspy sound of his own breathing and the quick rhythm of hers.
“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Don’t fight me. Open your mouth under mine. Let me taste you...”
She’d never felt anything quite like it. Her hands had a death grip on his neck, cold and tremulous as she let him kiss her. It had been years since she’d even tolerated a kiss. His mouth was sensuous, firm, very expert. She didn’t know what to do, but she did relax just a little. It felt good. It felt...wonderful. Nothing like the man in her nightmares...
He lifted his head a few seconds later and looked into her wide, curious black eyes. “You don’t know how to do this,” he said in a deep, almost shocked tone.
She swallowed. She could taste him on her mouth, tasted coffee and something like mint.
He was fascinated. He bent to her mouth again, drew his ever so softly over it, smiling faintly, because she wasn’t resisting him.
“Like this,” he whispered, and taught her the brushing little caresses that were tender and slow and arousing.
She followed his lead, her heart racing. He was her worst enemy in the world, and she was letting him kiss her. Not only that. She was...kissing him back. He tasted like honey...
“That’s it, baby,” he whispered. “Yes. Just like that...”
His arms contracted and his mouth opened, pressing her lips apart. His body was hardening as he held her. He hadn’t felt anything so powerful for a very long time. Her mouth was the sweetest honey he’d ever had.
She felt the strength in his hard arms, the warmth of his muscular chest against her breasts. She moaned softly as sensations she’d never felt in her life lanced through her.
He heard the soft moan and suddenly ground her breasts against him as the fever began to burn in him. That was when he felt her go stiff.
He forced himself to lift his head. Her eyes were wide and shocked, and now there was fear in them. His eyes narrowed as he realized why. Her nipples were hard, like little stones pressing into his chest. Did she know why they were hard? he wondered. Because she acted like a woman with her first man.
His chin lifted as he looked at her. He felt arrogant. “Have you ever had a man?” he asked in a deep, rough whisper.
Her reaction shocked him. She made a sound like a sob deep in her throat and pushed at him, frantically. “Let me down. Let me down, please!”
He put her on her feet. She looked up at him with anguish.
The reaction set him off. He hadn’t meant to touch her. The way she was riding had frightened him, God knew why. He was only trying to keep her safe. But she backed away as if he’d done something unspeakable.
His pale eyes narrowed. “Your love life is none of my business,” he said shortly. “But it’s a good act.”
Her tongue felt thick. “Act?”
His mouth pulled up into a cold, sarcastic smile. “The frightened virgin bit,” he explained. He slid his hands into his pockets, and hateful memories flooded his mind, of another brunette, coy and teasing and innocent. Except that she wasn’t innocent. She’d tormented him, shattered his life. It had started just like this.
She wrapped her arms around her chest. She felt cold all over. Technically, she was still a virgin. But that was only due to a physical barrier that had stopped her stepfather long enough for Gabriel to break in the door.
She closed her eyes, and a wave of pure nausea swept over her. She was back in that time, in that space, in her room, screaming for help that she never expected to come. Her mother had gone shopping. Gabriel was in school. Except that he’d left class early. Thank God he had!
She shivered.
Wolf, watching her, was torn by conflicting emotions. Part of him was ablaze with a monstrous desire to push her down in the grass and have her right there. Another, saner, part was certain that it was an act. A woman who traveled, was sophisticated and was of her age was afraid of kisses? She’d been putting on an act. In his car, after the opera, in the park and now here. Tempt him, pretend to be afraid to make him vulnerable. And then the knives would come out of hiding. Exactly as they had with Ysera.
Ysera. His eyes closed on a silent groan. He’d loved her. What she’d done to him was beyond cruelty.
Sara had turned away. She climbed back into the saddle. She didn’t look at Wolf Patterson.
“I’ve been riding horses since I was three years old,” she said through her teeth. “When I was younger, I did rodeo. I know how to handle horses.”
“And now I know that, don’t I?” he said. He smiled at her. It wasn’t a nice smile. It was demeaning, arrogant. “Just for the record, I don’t like brunettes. You might have noticed that the women I date are blonde.”
She didn’t answer him.
“The frightened virgin bit won’t work again,” he added. “You’ll have to think of something a little more original. I’m an old fox, honey. I know women.”
She felt a chill run down her spine. She lifted her chin. “Whatever you may think, I’m not in the mood for a torrid love affair, Mr. Patterson,” she said haughtily. “Least of all with you.”
He only smiled. “You’d be lucky,” he drawled.
She fought the memory of how gentle he’d been, how very tender. She didn’t want to remember. Her hand tightened on the reins. Then, involuntarily, she remembered what Gabriel had told her about Wolf’s mother, and she winced inwardly. The woman had done untold damage. No doubt there was some other woman, as well, more recently, who’d added to his scars. He was the most mistrustful person she’d ever known. She didn’t trust people, either, but she couldn’t talk to him. He disliked her. But why had he kissed her? She couldn’t understand the way he went from hot to cold and back again with her.
He was studying the horse closely.
“Something on your mind?” she asked coolly.
“Couldn’t get the broom cranked?”
Her black eyes flashed like lightning. “If I had a broom, I’d hit you with it!”
“And you know what I’d do when you did, don’t you?” His voice was deep and caressing. His eyes were sensuous, like that firm, chiseled mouth, smiling at her as if he knew everything she was feeling. She could see in her mind what he was thinking, see him take the broom away and jerk her into his arms, and bend his head...
She swallowed, hard, and fought down a new and disturbing hunger.
“I have to go home.” She turned the horse with easy skill.
“Time to feed the flying monkeys?”
She started to say something, bit her tongue instead and galloped away, red-faced.
* * *
GABRIEL DIDN’T LIKE parties as a rule, but there was always the one exception. Jacobsville had holiday events to benefit the local animal shelter. There was a dance at the civic center, and everybody attended. It was one of several throughout the year. This one was for spring.
Sara went with her brother. Michelle was coming home soon, but she’d had a job interview in San Antonio, and she wanted to stay there over the weekend in Sara’s apartment. So it was just Sara and Gabriel at the dance.
Sara let her hair fall naturally, thick and black and down to her waist in back. She wore an off-white ankle-length dress that complemented her soft, pale olive skin, while emphasizing her black eyes, her beauty. She wore only a string of pearls and stud earrings with it.
She looked exquisitely beautiful.
Wolf Patterson hated her on sight in that dress. He remembered Ysera wearing one like it when they went nightclubbing in Berlin. At the end of the evening, he’d removed it. Ysera had vamped him, seduced him, whispered how much she loved him, how much she wanted him. Then she’d ridiculed him, laughed at him, made him feel like a fool.
Sara caught that expression on his face and couldn’t understand it. She averted her eyes and smiled at an elderly cattleman who seemed to have come to the benefit alone.
“Pretty young woman like you shouldn’t be hanging out with an outlaw like me,” he teased. “You should get out there and dance.”
She smiled sadly as she nursed a soft drink. “I don’t dance.” She did, but she couldn’t abide being that close to a man. Not anymore.
“Now that’s a pity. You should get our police chief to teach you.” He chuckled, indicating Cash Grier, who was out on the dance floor with his beautiful redheaded wife, Tippy, doing a masterful waltz.
“I’d just trip over my feet and kill somebody.” Sara laughed softly.
“Hi, Sara,” one of Eb Scott’s men called to her. She knew him. Gabriel had invited him to the house a couple of times. He was tall and dark, very handsome, with flashing green eyes. “How about dancing with me?”
“Sorry,” she declined with a smile. “I don’t dance...”
“That’s silly. I can teach you. Here.” He took the soft drink away and caught her hand.
She reacted badly. She jerked back, flushed. “Ted, don’t,” she said in a curt undertone, tugging at her hand.
He’d had at least one drink too many. He didn’t realize what he was doing to her. “Oh, come on, it’s just a dance!”
Wolf Patterson caught him by the collar and almost threw him away from Sara.
“She said she didn’t want to dance,” he told the man, and his posture was dangerous enough to sober the other man up. Fortunately, they were in an alcove, and they didn’t draw attention. Sara was embarrassed enough already.
“Gosh. Sorry, Sara,” Ted told her, flustered, as he glanced at Wolf Patterson, whose eyes were glittering like fresh ice.
“It’s okay,” she said in a husky undertone. But her hands were shaking.
Ted grimaced, nodded at Wolf and made himself scarce.
Sara swallowed, then swallowed again. She was shaking. Any sort of aggression from a man, even slight, was enough to set her off.
“Come with me,” Wolf said quietly. He stood aside, indicating the side door.
She followed him out into the night. It was cold, and her coat was in the hall with all the others.
Wolf took off his jacket and slid it over her soft, bare shoulders. It was warm from his body. It smelled of masculine spice.
“You’ll get cold,” she protested.
He stuck his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I don’t feel the cold much.”
They stared out over the long pasture that led to a wooded area around the community center. The night was quiet, except for the distant sound of dogs howling. There was a crescent moon that gave just enough light to let them see each other.
“Thanks,” she bit off, not looking at him.
He drew in a long breath. “He was drinking. He’ll apologize the next time he sees you.”
“Yes.”
“You have some real issues with men,” he said after a minute.
“No, I...”
He turned quickly toward her. She jerked backward helplessly.
He laughed coldly. “No?”
She bit her lower lip and lowered her eyes. “You think you can get over things,” she said in a dull tone. “But the past is portable. You can’t run from it, no matter how fast you go, how far you go.”
“You can cash checks on that,” he agreed bitterly.
“I’m sorry I set you off, at the house,” she began.
“You remind me of her,” he bit off. “She was beautiful, too. Brunette, black eyes, olive complexion. In the right light...” He hesitated. “Do I remind you of the man who hurt you?” he asked abruptly.
“He was blond,” she said unsteadily.
“I see.”
She closed her eyes.
“Gabriel won’t tell me a damned thing about you.”
“We’re even. He won’t tell me about you, either.”
He managed a faint laugh. “Curious about me, are you?”
“Not...that way,” she said under her breath.
“Really?” He turned and moved just a step closer. “You were kissing me back in the pasture.”
She flushed. “You caught me...off guard.”
“Just how experienced are you?” he asked bluntly. “Is that innocence real, or is it an act? Something to disarm a man and make him feel protective?”
She wrapped his jacket closer around her thin shoulders. “I live inside myself,” she said after a minute. “I don’t...need other people.”
“I feel that way, too, most of the time. But then there are the long, empty nights when I have to have a woman just to get through them.”
Her face flamed. “Lucky women,” she drawled.
His hand came up, very slowly, and pushed back a long strand of silky black hair from her face. “Yes, they are. I’m a tender lover,” he said softly.
She stepped back, nervously. She didn’t like the mental pictures that were forming in her mind.
“Sara, are you all right?” Gabriel asked from the doorway.
They both turned to look at him. “Yes,” she said.
He gave Wolf a speaking look. “You should come back in. It’s cold.”
“I’ll be there in just a minute,” she promised.
Gabriel nodded and went inside, but with obvious reluctance.
“Your brother doesn’t want me anywhere near you,” Wolf told her.
“Yes. He told me that you’re...” She flushed as she recalled what Gabriel had said, that Wolf was aggressive with women he wanted. “He said that you have a past that you haven’t dealt with.”
“Like you,” he returned.
She nodded. “He said we could hurt each other badly.”
“He’s right,” he replied with narrow, dark eyes. “Past a certain point, I wouldn’t be tender. And I think aggression is what frightens you the most.”
“I can’t...do that,” she said, her voice curt.
“Do what?”
“Sleep...with anyone.”
His face hardened. “Then you shouldn’t send out signals that you’re available. Should you?”
“I haven’t!”
“You lay in my arms like a silken doll and let me have your mouth,” he said under his breath, his voice deep and soft and sensuous. He leaned toward her conspiratorially. “That’s a signal.”
“I was surprised,” she shot back. “Caught off guard.”
“You don’t like men close to you,” he said, thinking out loud. “You were frightened of Ted. But you like it when I touch you, Sara.”
“I...don’t!”
His forefinger went to her soft bow mouth and traced around its outline in a slow, sensuous appraisal that made it tremble.
He moved a step closer, watching her face lift helplessly, feeling the quick, involuntary whip of her breath.
“Your brother was right,” he whispered as he bent. His mouth shivered over her parted lips, barely touching, tracing, tempting. “I’m much more dangerous than I look.”
She wanted to move away. She really did. But the feel of him so close to her, the smell of him, familiar and dear, the hard warmth of his mouth teasing hers, made her reckless. She’d never really wanted a man to kiss her. But she loved it when Wolf did. He made the bad memories go away.
His fingers were tracing up and down her long neck, making sensuous little patterns while his mouth smoothed over her lips.
“You could become an addiction,” he whispered. “That would be the worst thing I could do to you.”
Her eyes opened wide on his face, seeing it harden, seeing his eyes glitter.
“I mean it,” he said roughly. “I hate brunettes. I wouldn’t mean to take out old vendettas on you, but I might not be able to help it.” His mouth crushed down on hers briefly and then lifted. “She liked to make me crazy in bed, then she laughed at me when I lost control and went over the edge.”
She caught her breath at the images that flashed through her mind.
“I don’t think she ever felt a damned thing. But she pretended that she did, at first. She told me she was a virgin. She even acted like one...”
He jerked away from Sara. His pale eyes were glittery on her face. “Just like you,” he said in a rough undertone. “Backing away to make me come close then pretending that I got through her defenses, that I wasn’t like the other men who frightened her.”
She began to understand what Gabriel meant. She felt a sense of loss. This man was far more damaged even than she was.
“Have you ever had therapy?” she asked sadly.
“Therapy.” He laughed out loud. “I had two years of a woman ridiculing me every time I lay in her arms, making me beg for satisfaction. Can damned therapy fix that?” he asked in a rasping tone.
She winced.
“So I date blondes. They don’t come with bad memories, and I can make them lose control, make them beg me.” He smiled coldly. “Payback.”
She had a sick feeling deep inside. He would do that to her, if they ever became involved. He would make her pay for those scars the other woman had given him. She hadn’t realized until then that she felt different with him than she ever had with other men.
“Have I shocked you?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yes,” she replied softly. “I...haven’t ever... Well, that’s not quite true.” She lowered her eyes. “My stepfather tried to have me. He was brutal and vulgar and there was a trial... I had to testify against him. He went to prison.”
“Did you tease him?” he asked coldly. “Drive him crazy until he had to do something about it?”
Why had she thought he might feel differently than other men had? She laughed softly to herself. She took off his jacket and handed it to him. “I’m sure that’s what I did,” she replied. “It must have been my fault.”
He couldn’t see her face. He didn’t realize that she was being sarcastic. “Poor damned fool,” he bit off. “Just don’t think you’ll ever get the opportunity to try it out on me.”
“Mr. Patterson,” she said with ragged pride, “it would never occur to me that you’d be that stupid. Excuse me.”
She brushed by him and went into the civic center. She found Gabriel standing by the punch bowl. She was poised, but very pale.
“I’d like to go home, please,” she said in a haunted tone.
Gabriel looked over her head at Wolf Patterson’s cold expression. He glared at his friend, but Sara looked as if she couldn’t take any more.
“Yes,” he told her. “Come on.”
* * *
SHE MADE COFFEE. They sat at the kitchen table and drank it.
“What did he say to you?”
“The usual things.” She sighed. “But he did tell me about the woman...”
“Ysera?”
She looked up. “Is that her name?”
He nodded. His face was grim. “We hated her. We knew what she was doing to him, but you can’t drag a man away from a woman he thinks he’s in love with. She damned near destroyed him.” He frowned. “He’s never spoken of it to anyone. Not even to me. I know about it from a girl who worked with her. She thought Ysera was warped, mentally. I have to agree.”
“He told me about her to warn me off,” she said. She shook her head. “I can’t imagine a man putting up with that.”
“He loved her,” he said simply.
She drew in a breath and sipped coffee. “He said that he didn’t think therapy could do anything for him.” She flushed.
“What else did he say?”
She laughed hollowly. “That I must have teased our stepfather until he went crazy to have me.”
“I’ll break his damned neck!”
“You will not,” she said, pulling his shirtsleeve to make him sit back down. “He doesn’t know a thing about me. It’s what even one of my friends thought.”
“You were thirteen!”
She winced. “Maybe I wore shorts too much...”
“Oh, God, don’t do that to yourself!” he burst out. “You were a child, far more innocent than most girls your age. He’d been after you for months.”
“I didn’t tell you that!” she exclaimed, embarrassed.
“The prosecutor told me,” he replied. “He was livid. He said they should have the death penalty for cases like yours.”
She lowered her eyes to the table. “I have no peace. I have nightmares.” She smiled sadly. “There’s this man I play WoW with,” she recalled. “He says he has nightmares, too. Of course, he could be a woman or a man or a child, I don’t really know, but he...he gives me peace. We get along so well together. He said that he couldn’t get away from the past. I know how that feels.”
He didn’t dare tell her that her WoW friend was none other than Wolf Patterson. The player was the only real confidant she had, besides Gabriel. It was one of the only happy things in her sad life, that game. Perhaps it was the only thing Wolf had, as well.
“Do you know who he is in the real world?” he asked conversationally.
“Oh, no. I don’t want to,” she added. “The game isn’t like real life. We just have fun playing together, like children.” She laughed. “It’s so funny. I don’t have friends, you know. But I have a friend in him. I can talk to him. Not that we go into specifics. But he’s a compassionate person.”
“So are you.”
She smiled. “I try to be.”
“Sara, do you understand now why I told you that you can’t afford to let Wolf get close to you?”
She nodded.
“Someone said that Ted got insistent about dancing with you,” he said abruptly.
“Yes. He tried to drag me out onto the dance floor,” she replied uneasily. “Mr. Patterson caught him by the collar and almost threw him into a wall.” She shivered. “He’s scary when he loses his temper.”
“Only because he never loses it,” Gabriel replied. “That’s one man you don’t ever want to make mad. Well, if you’re a man, that is. I’ve never known him to hurt a woman.” He studied her. “He was aggressive with Ted?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t want to make the obvious assumption, but it presented itself just the same. Ted was trying to put the make on Sara, and Wolf was protective of her. Jealous over her? Possibly.
“It wouldn’t end well,” he said, thinking out loud.
“Don’t you think I know that?” she asked. “He even told me that he...gets even for what the brunette did to him, with other women.” She flushed.
“He doesn’t talk about it, to anyone,” he repeated. “Why did he tell you?”
“I don’t understand why, either,” she replied. “He hates brunettes.”
“You have to make sure he doesn’t develop a taste for you,” he said firmly.
She nodded. She was remembering how it felt to kiss him, to be in his arms, and she didn’t want to. She didn’t dare tell Gabriel how things had already gotten physical between them.
“Don’t worry,” she said gently, and smiled. “I’m not suicidal.”
* * *
A FEW DAYS LATER, she had occasion to remember those words.
