Читать книгу He Will Find You - Diane Jeffrey - Страница 16

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I’m panicking. Where on earth is it? I’m sure I put it in this drawer, but I can’t have because it’s not there now. ‘Shit!’ I open the other drawers and rummage around, but I can’t find it anywhere. ‘Bollocks!’

Julie and Hannah come into my bedroom to see what all the swearing is about. I fill them in. ‘But don’t tell Alex,’ I hiss at them. ‘He wants me to wear it tomorrow. He’ll be upset.’

I check my jewellery box again before giving up the hunt. With a sigh, I plop down on the bed, feeling a stab of guilt about misplacing his gift.

‘We’ll look for it later,’ Julie says. ‘It has to be here somewhere.’

‘Yeah, don’t worry, sweetie.’ Hannah puts one reassuring hand on my arm and pushes her dark frizzy hair away from her face with her other hand. ‘Wait until he’s out of the house this evening, then we’ll ransack it if we need to. We’ll find it.’

‘OK,’ I say. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

The three of us are keen to escape and do our last-minute shopping in Keswick, a local town, which I know my sister and my best friend will fall in love with, as I have. Before leaving, we pop into the kitchen, where Alex and my dad are talking, to say goodbye. Dad is sitting at the table, smiling and seemingly more carefree than I’ve seen him in a long time, and Alex is standing at the worktop, his hands covered in flour, making an apple crumble.

A mixture of love and pride suddenly surges inside me. Here are the two men I adore most, in my kitchen, chatting as if they’ve known each other for more than ten years instead of less than one day. I take six mugs out of the cupboard, stealing a glance at Alex. He looks incredibly attractive, even in an apron. And, evidently, he has made my dad feel welcome. Alex catches me staring at him and winks.

Jet, my dad’s black Labrador, is lying on the floor with his nose on his owner’s feet.

Alex kisses my cheek as he waits for me to fill up the kettle, and then he washes his hands at the sink.

‘All right, fella?’ he says, bending down to pat Jet on the head.

I turn away, hiding my grin from Alex, as he pulls out a chair and sits down at the table with Dad. Images flash before my eyes of our walk a few weeks ago and I remember Alex confessing that he was scared of that woman’s little dog. Yet here he is, making an effort to get on with my dad by making friends with Jet. A sure way to Dad’s heart.

Jet was Julie’s idea. A rescue dog, it was in fact Jet that rescued my dad. He was about two years old when we chose him from the RSPCA shelter seven or eight years ago. Julie’s sons had given Dad a reason to go on after Mum’s death, but although his smile was as permanent a feature on Dad’s face as his deep worry lines, it wasn’t until he had Jet that Dad’s smile reached his eyes.

Watching Alex, who is still stroking the dog, I feel very grateful to him for all he has done for my family since they arrived last night. He has gone to great lengths to impress them all and he has been punctilious in providing every comfort he can think of for our guests. Yesterday, he cooked a delicious dinner, topped up everyone’s glasses with wine throughout the meal, and was charming and witty the whole evening. He has even won over my best friend Hannah, who usually takes a while to warm to people she has just met, particularly men.

Julie saunters back into the kitchen after taking a mug of tea into the living room for Daniel, her husband, who is watching a DVD of Rogue One with their two sons. ‘What are you going to do while we’re out, Dad?’ she asks.

‘We men are all going for a walk,’ Alex answers for him. ‘I’d like to show everyone around Grasmere and we’ll all get some fresh air.’

‘Jet could do with some exercise,’ Dad adds. ‘He was stuck in the car for hours yesterday.’

Julie, Hannah and I finally speed away in my getaway Citroën C3, gravel flying up as I accelerate down the drive. Hannah has made me a playlist with Eighties and Nineties music as, like her, I grew up during those decades. She has plugged her iPod into the car stereo and all three of us are rocking the Casbah at the tops of our respective lungs. I am happy, excited, and, if I’m honest, a little anxious as well.

Twenty minutes later, Julie voices what is still niggling me as I pull into a space in the car park.

‘You’re certain about getting married, are you?’ she asks. I’ve always admired my elder sister for her frankness. She speaks her mind and sometimes it’s not easy to hear, but I appreciate her open honesty. ‘I know you want your child to grow up with both parents, but this isn’t just a shotgun wedding, is it?’

‘I’m nervous about the big day,’ I reply, ‘but I love Alex so much.’

It’s a bit more than pre-wedding nerves. I keep thinking I’m rushing into this marriage blindfolded, even though everything feels so right with Alex. Most of the time.

‘Hmm, I can understand why,’ my sister says, her eyes sparkling, and I can tell she’s satisfied with my answer.

‘He’s perfect for you,’ Hannah agrees. Her words move me because she’s always been very fond of Kevin and she gave me a hard time when I left him for Alex. I understood where she was coming from. Kevin is such a loving person; I can’t explain – to Hannah or even to myself – why I didn’t love him enough.

A lump comes to my throat and I give Hannah’s hand a quick squeeze, not trusting myself to speak. We all get out of the car and I head for the Pay & Display machine, putting an end to the conversation.

As I’d predicted, both my sister and my friend adore Keswick. It’s a shame they didn’t arrive earlier yesterday; they would have loved the market. A chocolate fountain in a shop window catches Hannah’s eye and she gives in to temptation and buys a box of chocolate fudge. Julie and I have a facial and get manicures while Hannah chatters away, her mouth full of her recent purchase. Hannah is a hairdresser, and although her hair is usually an unruly mess, her skin is flawless and her nails are always impeccable.

The beauty salon is not far from Alex’s shop, and it also happens to be opposite a pub, so we have a late lunch there. Afterwards, we wander around town a bit more, then decide to head back to the Old Vicarage.

As I open the front door, a wonderful smell floats towards us – a mixture of cinnamon and thyme. It’s not long before we’re sitting at the table eating again. I’m still full from lunch, but Alex has gone to a lot of trouble cooking and I eat as much of the roast dinner and crumble as I can. My round tummy has been protruding very noticeably for a couple of months now, so it’s not as if I was trying to keep slim for my wedding day.

After dinner, Alex gets his overnight bag ready and slings his suit, in a protective cover, over his shoulder. He has made arrangements to stay at his best man’s house.

‘You won’t change your mind?’ I ask hopefully.

‘A groom shouldn’t see his bride on the big day before she walks down the aisle – or, in our case, into the register office,’ he says. ‘It’s bad luck.’

I know he’s not superstitious, any more than I am, but I expect he’ll go out for a few drinks with his mates and enjoy his last few hours of bachelorhood.

‘As long as you don’t have too much fun, then,’ I say, pretending to pout.

He gives me a tender kiss and now I wish more than ever that he’d sleep next to me tonight. I tell myself that at least this way I’ll get some time alone with my family and my best friend. I haven’t seen them for about two months, and I’ve missed them.

As soon as he has gone, Julie and Hannah appear from the living room and usher me upstairs to my bedroom.

‘Right, let’s get to work,’ Hannah says, picking up books from my bedside table and checking under them.

The missing necklace has been crouching in the back of my mind all day, and I’m thankful that Julie and Hannah haven’t forgotten about it either.

We’ve been searching upstairs for a while when Daniel offers to help. He rallies together Oscar and Archie, who were starting to bicker over a board game, but a full hour later we give up. Upstairs, we’ve checked under the beds, in all the cupboards, drawers and bathroom cabinets. Hannah went as far as to search inside my shoes and in my coat pockets in the wardrobe. And downstairs, Daniel and the boys have looked under the sofas, in the built-in cupboards and on the bookcases. Daniel says he has even checked in the laundry basket, washing machine and tumble dryer.

We’ve looked everywhere. And at least twice in most places.

Well, nearly everywhere.

‘So, do you want to open that box?’ Julie asks.

We found a cardboard box in the wardrobe of the bedroom with the peach walls, where my sister and brother-in-law are sleeping. I know Julie wants to open it, not because she thinks the necklace might be in there, but out of simple curiosity about what actually is inside.

‘No. I can’t imagine where the necklace has got to, but it can’t possibly have got into the box,’ I say. ‘It’s all taped up.’

‘I wonder what’s in there,’ Hannah muses.

‘Maybe stuff belonging to Alex’s daughters,’ I say.

‘You’d think that would be stored in their room,’ Julie says.

My nephews are sleeping in Poppy and Violet’s bedroom. Alex wasn’t happy about it, but the other guestrooms were going to be taken by Hannah, Dad, and Julie and Daniel. So that only left Alex’s daughters’ room.

‘It’s not as if it’s used,’ I’d pointed out, regretting it instantly as Alex’s face clouded over.

For a second I thought he might get angry, although he has never raised his voice at me, but in the end, he said, ‘You’re right.’ And that was that.

Julie goes in there now. The boys are aged twelve and ten, but she still tucks them in. When she has finished, she joins Hannah and me in my bedroom.

‘It’s a creepy bedroom,’ she comments, thumbing over her shoulder towards the door.

‘Oh, yeah, those fairies flying around all over the walls would give anyone nightmares,’ Hannah quips.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask Julie, although I realise I’m not at all surprised at her observation.

‘Well, for a start, the bookcase has sharp angles and it’s shooting poison arrows directly at the bed on the right, which is aligned with the door.’

‘Why is that bad?’

‘It’s like lying in a coffin when you’re about to be carried out feet first.’

I shudder, even as I think how ridiculous that all sounds.

‘Then the headboards are partially blocking both windows,’ Julie continues. ‘That creates negative energy. And you sleep badly with your head under a window, anyway. There’s an awful lot of clutter in there, which doesn’t help. Far too much Sha Chi altogether.’

Until now, I’ve always been flippant about my sister’s firm belief in feng shui. To me, it seems out of character for her as she’s usually so sensible and rational. I want to ask her how to remove the negative energy, but Hannah changes the subject.

‘So, what are we going to do about the necklace? Have you got another one?’

‘The only other one I have was a present from Kevin. I can’t possibly wear that.’ I bite my lip, pushing away the feeling of guilt that accompanies every thought I have of my ex-boyfriend.

‘The one with the letters “K” and “K” entwined?’ Julie raises her eyebrows. ‘No, you certainly cannot.’ She strides out of the room without explanation and I wonder if I’ve upset her. I look at Hannah, who shrugs.

‘Here you are. Wear this,’ Julie says, appearing seconds later, holding out a gold chain with a diamond pendant. ‘It was Mum’s.’

Tears spring to my eyes. ‘Are you sure it’s OK?’

‘Of course I’m sure, Kaitlyn. I brought it here in case you wanted to wear it for your wedding day. I didn’t know Alex had given you a heart for the occasion.’ She pauses, clearly replaying her sentence in her head. Hannah snorts. ‘You know what I mean,’ Julie says.

She puts the chain around my neck and does up the clasp. ‘There. Now you won’t lose this one.’

‘Thank you,’ I say.

A few minutes later, when Dad, Julie and Daniel have all gone to bed, Hannah and I are both in our pyjamas and Hannah is waltzing around my bedroom trying to talk round the toothbrush in her mouth.

‘I can’t make out a word you’re saying.’ I start to giggle.

She goes into my en suite bathroom. I hear her gargle, and then she materialises in the doorway, her eyebrows raised in mock surprise.

‘Who do all those bottles belong to?’ she says.

‘What are you talking about?’ I ask, my tired brain conjuring up images of wine bottles, even though I haven’t drunk any alcohol for months.

‘All those cosmetics. We had to drag you kicking and screaming into the beauty parlour earlier,’ she jokes. ‘And I know you’re not that obsessed about your appearance.’

What she’s really referring to, I imagine, is that I wear minimal make-up and don’t do enough with my hair for her liking. She has told me several times that people pay a lot of money to dye their hair the same colour as mine, whereas I’ve inherited this shade naturally from my mum’s Irish genes, but I just scrape my hair back into a ponytail most of the time.

‘No, I never take two bottles into the shower,’ I say, humouring her. ‘They’re mainly Alex’s, actually.’

‘Oh dear, someone should have warned you. Never. Ever.’ She prods me twice in the chest as she says this. ‘Ever.’ Another prod. ‘Go out with a man who has more beauty products than you!’ I burst out laughing. ‘Seriously. Take it from me.’

It’s hard to imagine that anyone could possibly own more haircare products than Hannah although, to be fair, that goes with the job. Nor do I tell her that I saw Alex pack three washbags in his overnight bag.

‘Sebastian, right?’

‘Big mistake.’ All Hannah’s ex-boyfriends are big mistakes. ‘I could never get into the bathroom! He smelt good and he looked great, but he was far more in love with himself than he ever was with me.’

‘Moron,’ I say.

‘Yeah. Fuck him. Still, you won’t have that problem.’ I think she’s going to say that Alex is head over heels in love with me, but instead she says, ‘You’ve got about ten bathrooms in this house.’ It’s a gross exaggeration, and we both laugh.

Hannah sits on the bed next to me. I’ve known Hannah for a long, long time. We’ve been inseparable since our first day at primary school. We didn’t have the same interests as we grew up: I was athletic whereas Hannah was allergic to sport. I studied hard for my A levels – work was a welcome distraction that year. Hannah, on the other hand, skipped class to concentrate on the practical side of her sex education. I got good results, which was a huge relief as I was able to get away for a while and go to university. Hannah flunked her A levels but couldn’t have cared less, even though this meant she had to carry on living with her parents for a few years.

After I lost Louisa, Hannah was my rock. Leaving her behind in Somerset this time was harder in many ways than leaving Kevin. The conversation was a bit strained between us on the phone the first couple of times. Hannah made it very clear that she thought I was making the wrong decision. I’d desperately needed her support, but Hannah had needed a little time to come round. She resented the fact that I’d made her complicit in all this, too. I’m so glad that things are back to normal between us.

‘So, what’s his family like?’ she asks, hugging her knees to her chest and pulling the quilt up around her.

‘Well, he doesn’t have anything much to do with his dad,’ I begin. ‘He won’t be coming to the wedding. He hasn’t been invited. Apparently he was a serial adulterer and Alex’s mum threw him out when Alex was little. Nobody actually knows where he is.’

‘And his mum?’

‘Well, we didn’t exactly hit it off the first time I met her, but she’s making an effort.’

‘Oh? What happened?’

‘Well, I was talking about my childhood and growing up with Julie and Louisa, and Dad having his work cut out for him in a house with four women, two of them incorrigible twins. I overheard her whisper to Alex: “Oh, God. You didn’t tell me there were two of her.” I hadn’t told her what had happened to Louisa at that point.’

‘What a terrible thing to say!’ There is a brief silence, which Hannah breaks. ‘What about Alex? Does he have any brothers or sisters? I honestly can’t remember him from school at all.’

‘Well, he was in the same house as Louisa and me, not you. And he was two years ahead of us. He’s an only child. I think that’s part of the problem between his mum and me. She must think I’ve trapped her prince into marrying me by getting myself pregnant with his baby.’ I become aware that I’ve been twisting a strand of my hair round my finger. A nervous habit. I sit on my hands, and add, ‘Things went a bit smoother last time we met up, though.’

‘I’m very jealous of you, you know,’ Hannah says.

‘Why?’ I’m not sure what she means. Surely she doesn’t want a difficult mother-in-law.

‘I was jealous before. I thought you and Kevin were really good for each other—’

‘Hannah,’ I say in a warning tone, thinking she’s going to tell me again that I’ve messed up.

‘No, let me finish. From what you’ve told me about Alex, and judging from what I’ve seen of him since I arrived, I think you’ve … Well, let’s just say, I hope I find someone I can be as happy with one day.’

‘Really?’ Hannah has had an endless string of boyfriends, and hasn’t stayed with any of them for any length of time. I’m taken aback by her admission.

‘Yes. I’d like to settle down one day. Preferably before I’m in my forties.’

‘That gives you another three years. That’s loads of—’

‘I don’t want to be left on the shelf. But I don’t want to marry someone I’m not absolutely sure about, either.’

I look at Hannah. Her cheeks are even rosier than usual. I’m at a loss for words.

She smiles reassuringly at me, and it occurs to me that I should have found comforting words for her instead of platitudes.

Then her smile drops, and she says, ‘You are absolutely sure about Alex, right?’

‘Yes, of course,’ I reply, my heart skipping a beat at Hannah’s perspicacity. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Just that, oh, I don’t know. I like Alex. I like him a lot. But he does seem to be a bit too good to be true.’

I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say.

‘Oh, don’t pay any attention to me.’ She grins again, but her flippant tone sounds affected. ‘I’m just jealous! I’m off to bed now before I say anything else I shouldn’t. You need to get some sleep before your big day.’

I’ve been plucking at the quilt, and realise I’ve chipped a newly manicured nail. I swear under my breath.

I’m exhausted and sleep comes almost straight away. For once, I don’t dream about Louisa. I dream about Kevin, but his face is blurry. He seems to belong to a different world, a different lifetime.