Читать книгу Melina Breaking Free - Dimitra Mantheakis - Страница 9

The day after Mary’s wedding Sarantos, not being able to get a moment of sleep because of the excitement of his unexpected and epic coming together with Melina, went to wait in a café on the edge of the town square since Melina would have to go by there to go to the street market.

Sarantos knew that every Saturday Melina bought vegetables for her family. They didn’t shop in the town greengrocers’ shops except on exceptional occasions because their financial difficulties made it necessary for her to buy provisions from the street vendors’ stalls. Today was Saturday and Sarantos hoped that the girl would not sleep in as a result of last night’s wedding and the late night. And his hopes were not disappointed. At ten thirty he saw Melina approaching from a distance carrying her shopping net, and his heart skipped a beat in excitement. He stood up quickly and crossed the main street to accidentally – supposedly - find himself in her path. When she approached him he greeted her with an engaging smile, full of love and tenderness. She blurted out a dry “Good Morning” and moved as if to continue on her way. Sarantos was upset and started to walk alongside her.

“Are we going to get together later, Melina?” he asked her. She stopped and turned to look at him with such a frozen look that one would have thought she was addressing some undesirable, and said to him. “No, Sarantos, we won’t meet today, nor in the future.”

Sarantos was stunned. “But Melina dear, last night we…” he didn’t manage to finish the sentence.

“Last night we both gave in to the madness of the moment, Sarantos,” she replied to him. “What happened was a mistake and can’t be repeated. Besides, you know that I am not in love with you and last night’s happenings were only physical. I don’t want to have a relationship with you and I would like, if you too have no objection, for us to forget everything and go back to the day before yesterday when we were just friends. I don’t want anything more than that,” she said, and turning to her right she walked away, leaving him stunned in the middle of the street. Sarantos almost collapsed from shock. He could not believe what he had just heard a few moments earlier. How could a woman abandon herself unconditionally with such sexual frenzy, and as a virgin at that, and the next day be able to utter such harsh words? “But what have I done to her to make her treat me like a stranger, like an enemy? I neither forced her, nor did I do something without her consent, nor did I insult her. She knows that I have adored her for years. Oh God, what can I do now? What has bitten her to make her throw me aside like used goods, talking to me about friendship and other nonsense?” he asked himself in desperation. Tremors ran up and down his spine. His kneed buckled, unable to hold him upright. Breathing as if someone were choking him he collapsed onto the first café chair he saw and ordered a coffee to recover. He was so agitated that he scalded himself drinking it, hot as it was, spilling half of it onto his trousers, his trembling hand unable to keep the cup still.

This unexpected rejection was strange, unheard of, but primarily illogical he thought, if one took into account what had taken place the previous night. Sarantos tried to find an explanation, repeating her words over and over again in his head, but could find none. And suddenly his wounded pride made him angry.

“If she wants to lie down with everyone for a night and then not to say even good morning to them, it’s her problem!” he thought, so primed with anger that he felt his cheeks burning as if they were on fire. He immediately regretted his cynical silent words, the result of the humiliation he felt at her harsh and unexpected rejection of him. For a second he thought of approaching her again to ask for an explanation, even to beg her, but her words – like knife stabs – came back to him. “I am not in love with you. Last night was physical.”

There was no need to talk to her again on this subject. It was closed forever for him, following her declaration. Any attempt to approach her would humiliate him even more and would ridicule him. He wanted to have a friend at that moment to share a few words with him, Iakovos for instance. But he couldn’t share his thoughts because he didn’t want to expose Melina. He loved her deeply, you see, despite the deep wound she had made in his heart…

He got up from the chair after cleaning his trousers with his handkerchief and a little water and with slow steps, like that of a convict, started off for home. Entering the yard he saw Eleni, his mother, digging among the geraniums. When she lifted her head and saw him she was surprised by his appearance. His face was deathly pale, his tall proud bearing was gone and instead she saw his hunched shoulders, his brown eyes looking dark, huge, and full of sadness. Eleni wiped the sweat off her forehead and ran to put her arms round him.

“What’s wrong, my son? Are you ill?” she asked him.

Sarantos shook his head in negation.

“Come, tell me what is happening?” his mother said, drawing him to the wooden bench in the shade. Sarantos was so bound to her that he knew that she would listen to him with her heart and mind. He told her in a few words what had transpired with Melina and the developments that morning. Eleni listened without speaking. When he finished recounting his story she said to him.” My son, I have known Melina from when she was born. She is neither superficial nor a girl to indulge in casual sex. She has been through hard times in her life and both you and I know of these difficulties. Perhaps she is afraid of committing herself because she hasn’t got the strength to continue living in poverty and misery. And you, Sarantos, even if you married her, couldn’t change her life for the better. You haven’t got the means to do so. I know that you have been in love with her from the time you were a child but it seems that for Melina that is not enough. What is most likely is that she has exhausted her reserves of strength and doesn’t want to take you on board only to dump you later. Don’t bear a grudge against her, my son. Don’t let your pride blind you and lead you away from the reality of the situation. Of course she wanted you when she came to you without any reservations, but she didn’t want what would follow. Give way to your anger and justify her! It seems that the girl could not do anything else!

Tears involuntarily ran down Sarantos cheeks as his mother spoke. Eleni wiped them away and kissed him gently on his brow.

“Mother, I can’t stay in this town any longer. You must understand that, I am finished. There is no room for me here anymore!” Sarantos murmured.

“Relax, my boy, and together we will find a solution. Let me think and we’ll discuss it again. Go and lie down now and we’ll talk later.”

Sarantos, obedient as a child, walked off towards his bedroom. She remained alone and ruminated over her son’s confession. She understood his hurt as memories came back to her of Sarantos as a little boy, still in shorts, when he would often say to her when they were alone, “When I grow up I will become a judge and marry my Melina!” And Eleni would laugh at the seriousness of these childish declarations, but she herself had looked on the young girl as her future daughter-in-law. She couldn’t understand how any woman could ignore this strapping young man with his handsome face, good character and the charm that his presence radiated. And Eleni was objective in her judgment!

She herself had leaned on this mutual understanding and love for years, on the love coming from her son, to face her own martyrdom. The moment had now come for her to stand steady as a rock in his own moment of emotional turbulence because she knew of the lifelong love of Sarantos for Melina and she had seen the depth of his feelings for her. She feared that her son would wither away because he would not be able to avoid seeing Melina, without questions being raised, because they were both in the same tightly-knit group of friends. She was sure that his wound would bleed however much he tried to come to terms with the fact that his dreams had been shattered. The wisest thing would be for Sarantos to distance himself from the town. But where should he go? They had no relatives or friends in Athens, and there wasn’t enough money to send him away to study as the young man fervently desired. It was then that she remembered Paschalis, her cousin, who was well established in Australia with flourishing businesses, who, on many occasions when he travelled to Greece had told her that he would gladly invite the whole family to come to Australia. But Mitsos, her husband, wouldn’t have a word of it. He didn’t care about his children’s future and about better living conditions. He was very happy to continue emptying bottles of wine, playing cards at the café with his friends, and exerting himself in the bedroom…

Eleni sprang up resolutely. She knew what she would do. She would write to Paschalis. But there was another matter to be settled. She needed to find money for the expensive boat ticket, which under no circumstances did she want to request from her cousin. She would ask for the money from her father, explaining the reason to him, in a roundabout way. The truth was that the previous year when her teacher father had retired and offered her half his golden handshake compensation, Eleni out of pride had refused the money. She would go straight to her family’s village now to settle the issue, if indeed the offer that had been made the previous year was still valid and her father had not used the money for something else. She would talk to Sarantos only when the matter of his ticket funding had been settled as well as the issue of his living expenses for his first few weeks in Australia.

Without saying anything to anyone after what had happened that afternoon, she boarded the bus for her village. Half an hour later she walked into her parents’ house. They were worried to see her in front of them without any warning. Usually she visited them on Sundays with her children. Mitsos never accompanied her because he couldn’t stand the sight of her parents. They had similar sentiments for their son-in-law whom they considered a good-for-nothing, and for the big, or rather unforgiveable, mistake on behalf of their pampered daughter, whom he had, in their opinion, turned into a spineless little woman without any character. Eleni took her father aside and said that she needed the money, asking him if he still had the ability to help her.

“The money is for you, my child. We are old and don’t need it. Tomorrow morning I’ll go to the bank and withdraw it. Only, I want us to meet somewhere out of doors so that I won’t bump into Mitsos and have some sort of argument develop”.

They agreed to meet the next day at noon outside the main church. As agreed, her father gave her a bulging envelope, wishing her “May everything go well for the boy!” Eleni, overcome with emotion, kissed him gratefully and went back home. She called Sarantos and told him what she had done. Sarantos was visibly relieved as she spoke and his reaction calmed Eleni. She had harboured a fear deep inside her that his statement “There isn’t enough room for me here!” that her son had blurted out were merely words of disappointment, bitterness and of the moment. She immediately sat down and wrote to Paschalis. Sarantos went to his grandparents while waiting for a reply. He didn’t feel like meeting his friends or, of course, Melina, who would be with them…

Fifteen days later Eleni’s cousin wrote back saying that they were eagerly looking forward for Sarantos to come and they were already preparing the guest house for him to have his own independent space. Eleni bought the ticket for her son’s long trip. Her soul mourned her coming parting with Sarantos, but above all and everyone was his peace of mind, his own mental stability. His departure was at the end of the month, in ten days time. Sarantos returned to the town from the village and informed his friends of his decision to emigrate. Everybody was saddened by the news. Melina, at the other end of the table, cast him a sorrowful look, without making any comment, something that Sarantos interpreted as only regret at the departure of her childhood friend. Her face was very serious, in fact so expressionless that the young man could not discern any other emotion there.

When the day came for Sarantos to leave, his grandparents, his family and all his friends went to the bus station to see him off. Mitsos, his father, was noticeably absent. He had provoked great arguments, swearing and shouting that now that he needed extra hands to help him in the fields his son was running off overseas. Eleni for the first time raised her voice and warned him that if he continued like that she would take the children and also leave with Sarantos. Mitsos cowered, but was constantly drunk and refused to wave him off at the bus and didn’t condescend to say even a simple “goodbye” to his son. When the boy was walking across the yard towards the street gate of the house he shouted “I don’t want to see you ever again!”

Eleni begged Sarantos not to respond, saying that it was the wine that was talking, not his father…

Eleni and his sisters hugged him with deep sorrow in their hearts, trying to hold back their tears. All of his childhood friends wept as they said goodbye. They had no idea when, or if, they would see him again. Melina, standing at the edge of the pavement, and half-hidden by the others was waving her hand. As the vehicle started off Sarantos, overcome by emotion, looked back at his beloved friends for the last time. His eye caught Melina’s face, pale and drawn. Large tears were running down her cheeks. Or was it his imagination?

In a little while the bus disappeared round a bend in the road leaving behind clouds of dust and the bitterness of parting.