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CHAPTER EIGHT

SADIE STOOD AND looked at the view of the blue ocean lapping idyllically onto the white sand. The long and tedious flight with a fractious Leo now seemed nothing more than a bad dream. Even Antonio’s insistence that she take advantage of the nanny he’d hired for Leo now seemed like a good idea. She’d had breakfast with Leo this morning and he had really taken to the soft-natured local girl, leaving her free to spend time by herself. A luxury she hadn’t known since becoming a single parent unless Leo had been with her mother.

But she wasn’t a single parent any longer. She was married to Leo’s father. A fact she still found impossible to completely believe, but more especially that he intended to be in his son’s life every day. How was she ever going to hide the way she felt for him, the way just one desire-laden look could melt her inside and make her want to be in his arms?

‘Buon giorno, mia bella.’ Antonio’s voice rocked her from her thoughts and she turned, looking back into the villa. The image he created as he strode across the lavish living area, dressed in casual clothes, took her breath away. The white chinos hugged his long legs and the designer T-shirt emphasised his muscled body to perfection. She wanted to look away but couldn’t help a moment of indulgence. He was her husband.

‘This is a beautiful place.’ Her voice, barely more than a whisper, trembled and she hated that it gave away the frantic lurch in her emotions the moment he’d spoken.

‘You and Leo will be safe here,’ he responded, command ringing in every word.

He walked towards her and she couldn’t move, couldn’t step away from him or even break eye contact, her dilemma of moments ago still prominent. He moved closer, the darkness of his eyes holding hers, captivating her in a way only he had ever done.

The need to fight the attraction reared up like a stallion protecting his herd. She couldn’t fall for this man again. She just couldn’t go through all that heartache once more. Then what he’d just said registered in her desire-clouded mind.

‘When are you leaving?’ Hurt speared into each word despite the fact she wanted to sound unconcerned and unaffected by the knowledge they were now surplus to requirements.

He frowned. ‘Why would I leave?’

‘I just thought...’ She stumbled over her words, the perplexity of his expression too much.

‘That I would leave you and Leo here—alone?’

Her usual spirit resurfaced. ‘Why wouldn’t you? It’s not a real marriage, after all.’

He looked at her, his eyes searching her face as if seeking answers. But to what? Then, to her surprise, he took her hands in his, the warmth of his skin against hers so intense she dragged in a ragged breath.

‘In what way is it not real?’

His gaze held hers intently as his thumb caressed the back of her left hand, then he raised it between them, the diamond of her engagement ring sparkling and the band of gold next to it suddenly feeling heavy on her finger.

She swallowed down the need to tell him that it meant nothing, but with the dangerous darkness of desire lurking in the depths of his eyes she didn’t trust herself to speak. Behind her she could hear the ocean lapping gently at the white sand and the warm breeze playing with the palm trees fringing the beach and surrounding the villa, giving it total seclusion.

‘You are my wife, Sadie, and that is very real and I intend our marriage to be as real as this ring.’ He raised her hand a little further, but still she couldn’t break the eye contact. It was as if he were hypnotising her.

‘We married because of Leo and because you gave me no other choice. Nothing more.’ She dragged her hand from his and turned away from him, moving outside, her feet sinking in the softness of the sand.

‘I want to be a proper father to my son.’ He joined her on the sand, the romantic view as she looked out to the blue horizon in complete contrast to the discussion she was having.

She wanted to turn to him, to tell him that she wanted so much more than that for Leo. She wanted him to see how people laughed and loved. She wanted him to see what she could now never hope for—a loving relationship.

‘I also want to be a proper husband. I want the kind of normal life I glimpsed at the garage in those two weeks.’

* * *

Sadie turned to look at him, her eyes full of caution, her delicate brow furrowed into a frown. The wind played teasingly with her hair, blowing it across her face, which was almost bare of make-up except for mascara and lip gloss. She looked beautiful. Beautiful and vulnerable.

The bikini top she wore with white shorts made looking at the view beyond their open-to-the-beach villa impossible. His eyes traced the fullness of her breasts and her slender waist, partly concealed by the shorts, but, as his gaze drank her in, Antonio could sense her mistrust. Had he hurt her that much?

Her glossed lips parted and he fought the urge to pull her to him and kiss her in a way that would make the marriage real. Very real. As desire crashed over him like a stormy sea seeking to claim the sand of the beach she turned from him and laughed.

Her light laughter reminded him of champagne and surprised him so much he couldn’t say anything. All he could do was watch her as she brought her fingers to her lips and tried to control the laughter.

‘You could never live a normal life, Antonio.’ Her voice was light and playful, the heady attraction which had been escalating between them since arriving on this paradise island defused by her very real amusement. ‘The house you grew up in made me realise...’

She paused, holding back her words and refocusing her attention on the blue water of the ocean. He waited, but she said nothing more, the lightness of moments ago lost.

‘Realise what, Sadie?’ he demanded, annoyed at the loss of fun from their discussion.

She turned to look up at him, her green eyes swimming with not only desire but emotions he didn’t want to encounter, emotions he just couldn’t have in his life. Not when they weakened him and left him exposed. He couldn’t allow himself to be swayed by anything other than desire for the woman he’d made his wife. Only passion and desire had a place in his life.

‘I realised that we were so far apart in life—even before that was made very clear to me by your parents.’ Sadie’s voice dragged him back and he knew that, whatever had happened, he and Sadie had to move forward for Leo’s sake—together.

He was determined to bring Sadie emotionally closer to him, just as they had been during those few days when his son had been conceived. ‘Leo is my heir and that house and everything which goes with the Di Marcello name will one day be his. My parents need to accept that as much as you do.’

‘I will do anything for Leo. I already have—marrying you.’ The spark of fire and indignation in her voice was clear. He was losing that closeness, that powerful awareness of each other. It drew them together in a way nothing else could.

He took her hand again in his, feeling the band of gold on her finger that now joined them in a way he’d never wanted to be joined with a woman again. Not after the disaster of his first marriage. But at least he knew he and Sadie could be truly man and wife, if only she’d let him past the wall she’d erected around herself.

She didn’t pull away and he looked into the softness of her eyes and saw the confusion in them. He reached up and brushed her hair back from her face, his fingers touching her skin, sending a jolt of awareness through him. Her lashes lowered slowly, as if she wanted to give in to the sensation of his touch and close her eyes but was fighting it. As her eyes closed he lowered his lips to hers, lightly teasing the plumpness, tasting the lip gloss which made them look so kissable.

A volcano of desire surged upwards through him and all he could think about was pulling her against him, pressing her curves to his body and plunging into the erotic desire of kissing her deeply.

Softly she sighed, her lips caressing his, and for a brief moment she moved towards him, driven by the same desire raging within him. He wrapped his arms around her back, the warmth of her bare skin intensifying the need to make her his again.

Just as he fought to rein in the need to sweep her into his arms and take her back into the villa, to the large bed with ocean views, and claim her truly as his wife, she pushed against him, breaking the fizz of attraction.

‘I can’t do this.’ She struggled to free herself from his arms and, rather than fight her, he let her go. She stepped backwards, each step unsteady as her feet sank in the softness of the sand, her green eyes darkened with desire, contradicting every move she made and every word she spoke.

‘Kiss me or give in to the attraction?’ He tried to keep his voice neutral but couldn’t stem the huskiness which made each word thick and unsteady. His whole body was on fire with need for her—his wife.

‘It’s not right,’ she said in a husky whisper. Did she really believe that?

‘We are man and wife, Sadie. Leo is our son, a child created with a passion so intensely hot it still scalds me. I want you, Sadie, just as you want me.’

He cursed himself silently for bringing Leo into this, for mentioning that weekend when he’d made her his, a weekend which should have been nothing more than a passing affair. He sensed Sadie withdraw emotionally, quickly reinstating the barriers he’d almost broken through.

* * *

Sadie blinked at that last remark and tried to ignore the ripple of awareness which skittered down her spine and unfurled deep inside her. She had no idea why she couldn’t do this, why she couldn’t surrender to his kisses. All she knew was that to do so would change everything. It would make their marriage something it could never be and she couldn’t let that happen, not when he didn’t have any kind of feelings towards her.

‘I can’t do this because of Leo. He will be here at any moment.’ She struggled for composure, struggled to calm her racing heartbeat.

‘I have just seen him and the nanny. I instructed her to bring him to us at lunchtime.’

‘Why?’ The word rushed from her and she stood defensively glaring at him. How dare he change the plans she’d made for herself and Leo.

He moved closer to her again and, just as it had earlier, her heart leapt and her skin tingled with anticipation of his touch. Only this time she knew how warm his hands were, knew what they felt like against the bare skin of her back. If she hadn’t just stopped things, where would they be now? What would she be doing?

The image of them in the large bed rushed into her mind, intensifying the heady desire this man could evoke with just one glance. No, she’d done the right thing. This marriage wasn’t about sex or lust. This marriage was about giving Leo a family—a real family. But if she gave in to the love and desire which was forcing its way back to the surface within her, wouldn’t that be more like a loving family? No—the word slammed into her. Antonio didn’t have any feelings of love towards her. Four years ago she’d made the mistake of confusing lust with love. She couldn’t do that again. She just couldn’t.

‘Walk with me, mia bella.’ Antonio’s accent was heavier than she’d ever heard it as he moved towards her again, reaching for her hand. Or was it because her senses were so tuned into him? Either way, a walk would be for the best. At least nothing could happen then and she knew she was in danger of forgetting everything at this moment.

‘I’d like that.’ She smiled at him, suddenly shy beneath the intensity of his dark watchful eyes, a blush colouring her cheeks at what had nearly happened. She might have had his child, but she was still as innocent as the day he’d walked away from her.

He didn’t say anything and neither did a smile touch the corners of his lips. Lips she had just been kissing. As her hand became wrapped within his, the tension which had sparked to life with the kiss reared up once more, knocking the breath from her body.

The silence between them lengthened as they walked hand in hand towards the ocean. The sun was sparkling on the sea like jewels and the warm breeze lifted her hair back from her face. Nothing but white sands lapped by clear blue water and fringed with palm trees stretched before them. It was paradise. The perfect location for a honeymoon. Except this wasn’t a real honeymoon, not when they slept at opposite ends of the luxurious villa, the distance between them greater than the ocean surrounding the island. She didn’t want that—not tonight. She wanted to forget his threats, his distance, and find the man she’d fallen in love with on that first night.

Finally Antonio broke the silence. ‘The papers in Italy are full of speculation about you and Leo.’

She paused and stopped to look at him, the sunlight illuminating the black of his hair, but the mention of what they’d escaped, the fear that Leo would be dragged into the ring of the media circus, halted any foolhardy notions of wanting to be with Antonio all night.

‘Why are they so interested in us, Antonio? What is it about your first marriage that makes them so curious about us?’ Sadie sensed this was more than just press intrusion. Every now and then she’d catch a glimpse of deep anxiety within Antonio, as if he was torn apart emotionally, but then she’d blink and it was gone, replaced by cool, hard control.

He turned from her and she followed his lead and began to walk along the beach again, her hand still in his. To anyone watching they would have looked like any other newly married couple. Except they weren’t.

‘Eloisa and I had grown up with each other, knowing that one day our parents wanted us to marry. They wanted two old families of Milan to unite, to bring together wealth and history.’

He paused as if holding something more back and looked out across the moving mass of blue water, the soft rush of the waves the only sound. She looked at his profile and knew he was regretting something. Was it all the women he’d allegedly dated so soon after he’d married his childhood sweetheart?

‘Had you always loved her?’ The question slipped all too easily from her; she didn’t really want to hear the answer, but she had to know.

‘We were friends, nothing more. We had never thought of each other as anything else.’ His voice was silky soft and persuasive.

‘So why did you get married?’

He sighed and turned to walk further along the beach until she thought they’d reached the end. He took her into the trees and onto a well-trodden path and just a few moments later they emerged again into a small sandy cove. He stepped down onto the sand and turned back to help her down the large step.

Briefly his gaze locked with hers and a frisson of something indefinable slipped between them, as if drawing her closer to him. She shuddered and walked away from him and out of the shade of the trees and back into the welcome warmth of the sun. Did she really want to know all about his first marriage?

‘I married for duty. It was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. I was the only heir of one of Italy’s oldest families and, added to that, I had no inclination to marry for such a sentimental reason as love. A marriage out of duty wasn’t a hardship.’

Was that why he’d married her? Duty to his son? Suspicion filled her mind. Wouldn’t that have meant going against his family’s wishes? His mother had made it more than plain that she could never be anyone to a man like Antonio Di Marcello.

‘I’m guessing Eloisa didn’t like the fact that you still wanted to live the life of a single man.’ She couldn’t keep the accusation from her voice—or the fear that he would do the same again, that as soon as he returned to Rome he’d be pictured with the glamorous models and actresses of the world he moved in. He had, after all, married her out of a sense of duty to his son. To think of their marriage as anything else would be futile. She was deluding herself if she thought he was going to slip into the role of father and husband.

‘That was all part of protecting Eloisa from the press. You’ve seen what they are like.’

She frowned and looked up at him. What had he been protecting Eloisa from? Everything he was saying only added to the mistrust she felt towards him. He’d hidden behind a disguise to spy on her and now this revelation. What next?

* * *

‘I will promise to keep you and Leo out of the media spotlight.’ Antonio heard himself making yet another promise to a woman, a promise that once again he would be honour-bound to keep. He’d kept Eloisa’s secret, but could he continue to do so and protect Sadie and Leo? Why had he nearly told Sadie the truth of it all? What was it about Sadie that undid everything, stripped him back to the man he really was, the man beneath the cold hardness which life had made him adopt?

‘If Leo and I went to England, that would make it easier.’ The hope in Sadie’s voice cut deep into the emotions he was trying to ignore. His feelings for Sadie were becoming more complicated with each day and, worse, they were exactly the kind of feelings he’d never wanted to succumb to.

‘No. That will not happen, Sadie. I want my son in my life; I don’t want to just send a card on his birthday and make the odd visit. I want him in my life all the time.’ He couldn’t stem the words. ‘I want to make up for not seeing his first steps, for not hearing his first word. I want to be there for him, Sadie—every day.’

‘Then whatever it is the press are digging for, why not give it to them, tell them what they want to know, then they might leave us alone.’ She kept her focus on the water as she skimmed her toes over the surface of the gentle waves. It made her look vulnerable and innocent, the complete opposite of Eloisa, but, even so, he couldn’t do as she suggested. Not when he’d made a promise to his first wife to keep her secret.

‘That wouldn’t help.’ He spoke far more firmly than he should have and softened his tone. ‘We shall stay here for two or three weeks, like any couple on honeymoon, and the storm will have eased when we return to Rome.’

She looked up at him and the expression in her eyes was so alluringly innocent all he wanted to do was kiss her. Without any warning, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. This time she didn’t fight him, didn’t fight the attraction which grew with each passing second.

‘Besides, I want to be here with you, I want to enjoy every moment of my honeymoon and right now I want to kiss you.’

Instead of fighting him, of pushing against him, she moved closer, her eyes wide open as she lifted her chin to his kiss. As his lips met hers, he watched her eyes flutter closed, the power of the moment forcing his to do the same.

Around their feet the waves slipped in and out, heightening the spinning sensation as he kissed her harder and deeper than he’d ever kissed any woman, the burning need within him demanding satisfaction. She pressed her body against his, the same fire within her, and he was lost to the moment.

‘I want you, Sadie, I want to truly make you my wife. I want it to be as it was when we first met.’

Her eyes flew wide with alarm and she looked up at him, shaking her head, as her body began to tremble with desire. ‘What about Leo?’

‘One of the staff in the cottages has a little boy and they are there now, making friends, laying the groundwork for a sleepover—I think that is what it is called in England.’

She smiled teasingly up at him—the Sadie he’d first met finally back. ‘You wicked man. You planned this all along.’

He brushed his lips to hers. ‘We are honeymooners, so it’s only natural the staff want to give us privacy to be just that. How can I resist that kindness?’

A blush spread over her face as she slipped from his embrace. ‘I’m not sure—maybe Leo won’t go.’

‘You can’t hide from me, Sadie. You are my wife and I intend to make you exactly that, mia bella.’