Читать книгу Modern Romance December Books 5-8 - Дженнифер Хейворд - Страница 18

CHAPTER SEVEN

LOVE WAS HARD when it was all one-sided. Tadj’s formal manner chilled her as he introduced Lucy to his staff. There was no easy path, and she couldn’t help the way she felt about him. If love came with blame and guilt and pain, as well as aching loneliness when it ended, she’d take that, for a chance to be with him. And if only it were that straightforward, she thought as she returned the smiles of his staff.

The last member of staff to greet her was Tadj’s housekeeper, who invited her inside the Emir of Qalala’s beautiful country home, making Lucy feel so welcome she could almost believe this was more than an escape route for Lucy and a necessary pause for Tadj during which time he could soak in the startling fact that she was pregnant with his child and make plans accordingly.

She had just been shown into the library. Tadj was waiting in the huge and very beautiful book-lined room, where the scent of old leather and a roaring fire created a deceptively relaxed setting. Lucy perched on the edge of a sofa, while the housekeeper said she would order tea. When the door had closed behind her, Tadj lost no time making his intentions clear. This wasn’t the fun guy from the café, but the Emir of Qalala claiming his prize. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘I believe we have unfinished business.’

His look scorched her, and with a million and one things she could have said—and maybe should have said—what came to her lips was, ‘Yes...’

His big stride ate up the room, and within moments he had raised her to her feet. Cupping her face in his hands, he stared deep into her eyes as if he would know every secret in her heart.

With only the thin stuff of Lucy’s red dress dividing them, he could feel her heart beating against his chest like the thrum of a hummingbird’s wing.

‘Nervous?’ he queried softly. ‘Or guilty?’

‘Neither,’ she assured him with the spirit he loved.

The sweep of her eyelashes created crescent shadows on her cheeks, making her even more beautiful, if such a thing were possible. She was young and vulnerable, and he should have known better, but when he was committed to a certain path he had never been known to change direction. He’d missed her more than he’d realised, and not just the sex, which, admittedly, had been astonishing. He’d missed Lucy—the essence of Lucy, and every little thing about her that made her unique. No other woman had ever come close, and nor would they. The royal marriage mart was a bank of tedium, full of women who held no appeal. At least, not for him. Who could after Lucy? But he’d always worked in the best interests of Qalala, and he always would, and a state marriage was just one more thing expected of him. Finding a suitable wife was—

‘Stop,’ Lucy gasped, pushing him away as he drove his mouth down on hers. ‘You’re kissing me as if this is your last day on earth. Why?’ she asked, her green eyes full of what he believed to be genuine concern.

‘You,’ he said honestly. ‘You drive me to the edge of reason.’

‘Funny,’ she said without a smile. ‘I’ve thought the same about you. Truce?’ she suggested.

Tempting, he thought. Nothing had changed since their first night together. He still wanted her, and Lucy’s response to him said she felt the same. The initial shock of learning he was about to become the father to her unborn child was fading. They were consenting adults with no restrictions, and a loving mistress would always be better than a compliant wife. He kissed her again, this time tenderly, and as he caressed her face he was convinced that a dynamic relationship such as this was infinitely preferable to a negotiated marriage. Savouring their reunion was becoming easier by the moment. They were good together, and good for each other.

‘Are you seducing me?’ Lucy asked when finally he let her go. ‘You’re doing a pretty good job,’ she told him before he had chance to answer.

Nothing fazed her. Lucy kept his feet on the ground, which was a big plus in her favour, especially when he recalled some of the over-indulged princesses who were paraded in front of him on a regular basis, so he could assess them as potential brides. ‘You don’t sound too unhappy about being seduced,’ he observed.

‘Maybe because I’m not.’ Her low, sexy laugh vibrated through him. ‘Just not here in the library while we’re waiting for tea.’ She gave a sharp cry of pleasure as he teased her by rasping his stubble just below her ear.

‘So, don’t scream too loud,’ he advised. ‘Would you like me to lock the door?’ When it came to choosing between a mistress like Lucy and an obedient wife, Lucy made it no contest. His hunt for a wife could wait.

I’ve missed you so much it hurts, Lucy thought as Tadj brought her into his arms. Heartache, she had discovered, was a real, physical pain. Would it ease, or would it have been better if they’d never met again? For Tadj, she was certain the answer to that was yes, but she must leave the country, and he was her best, perhaps her only chance, so, while this was everything she needed and wanted, guilt reminded her that it was also a form of deceit in its way. This magnificent mansion with its history and elegant architecture only emphasised the fact that it was just a fraction of Tadj’s global wealth. Whatever she did or said, when he found out she was using him to leave the country, he could only think she was after his money like all the rest.

‘We’ll be leaving for Qalala in the morning,’ he said, distracting her with kisses.

‘So soon.’ She knew she should be glad, but, though they’d shared the greatest intimacy of all, they didn’t know each other that well, and with every step it seemed she was leaving the familiar behind, and moving deeper into a world she didn’t know.

‘Don’t look so worried,’ he said, pulling back to stare into her face. ‘You’ll enjoy every privilege that comes with the position of official mistress.’

She gasped at the gulf between them, and Tadj’s lack of understanding for how that statement made her feel. He couldn’t have heard her, as he went on, ‘I accept the term mistress might sound quaint to you, but it’s all I’ve got.’

If that was meant to be funny, it missed its mark. ‘Your whore, don’t you mean?’

Tadj’s expression changed in an instant. ‘I’m sorry you see it like that,’ he said stiffly. He moved away from her, as if putting space between them would somehow help.

How else was she supposed to see it? Lucy wondered as a polite tap came on the door. ‘That must be tea,’ she said, realising how close she had come to spoiling her chance to escape the reach of her stepfather. She had a baby to think about now, as well as her mother. This wasn’t all about her and what her pride would allow.

Standing up, she crossed the room and opened the door to admit the smiling housekeeper. She even surprised herself with her acting skills as she made space on a low table for the tray. ‘Thank you. This is just what we need.’ Any distraction would do, even when it came in the form of scones and jam.

‘So, you agree to my proposal?’ Tadj demanded the moment the door had closed behind his housekeeper.

‘To become your mistress? I can’t say it’s my career goal. If I accompany you to Qalala, it will be because I want to.’ And because I need to, Lucy silently admitted, feeling conflicted and wretched as she added distractedly, ‘And because it will give us chance to decide on visitation rights.’

‘Visitation rights?’ Tadj exploded. ‘This is the child of the Emir of Qalala you’re talking about.’

She must calm things down. Everything depended on how she handled this. ‘I’ll come with you, not because of any so-called privileges, but because I choose to come for the good of the baby.’ She drew a deep breath, relaxing a little, because that much was true. ‘I’m quite capable of earning my own living.’

Tadj said nothing. He’d turned his attention to some documents on his desk. ‘No tea,’ he said curtly when she filled a cup and put it in front of him. ‘You might as well go to your room.’

She was being dismissed like a child? ‘Before I go, I need this address, as well as our address in Qalala. I need to let people know.’

‘Qalala?’ He glanced up briefly. ‘The palace, of course.’

‘Fair enough,’ Lucy replied, carefully staying calm. ‘But I can’t just say “country house in the middle of nowhere”, can I?’

He was silent for so long, she thought he intended to ignore her. This was proving harder than she’d imagined, but if he thought she was a commodity to be traded between countries and palaces at the Emir’s convenience, he was about to discover he was wrong.

‘Tadj, I—’ Her jaw dropped when he picked up the phone and started talking in Qalalan. She was tempted to ask the housekeeper to call a cab so she could leave, but how would that help her baby and her mother?

‘Address,’ he said curtly after he’d ended his call. ‘That is what you asked for, isn’t it?’ he demanded as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper. ‘You’ve got everything you need from me now, I presume?’

If he thought that, Tadj really was a changed man.

‘Call the friends and employers,’ he insisted as he held out the phone. ‘Tell your landlady you’re safe with me. What else does she need to know?’ he demanded when Lucy stood dumbstruck in front of him.

Perhaps it was hysteria, but she began to laugh. ‘You don’t know Miss Francine.’ Lucy’s landlady, the owner of the laundry where she worked, was noted for defending the women beneath her roof like a tigress with its cubs.

‘Just tell her we’re at my place in the Cotswolds, and reassure her that you’re safe,’ Tadj rapped impatiently.’

Safe? Lucy doubted she knew the meaning of the word. How would Tadj feel when he found out about her stepfather? Would she be safe then, or would she be prevented from seeing her child and sent home when he realised she had criminal connections? However big the risk, she had to do this, she decided as she placed the first call.

‘Your decision about becoming my mistress?’ Tadj prompted when her conversation ended, and they were waiting in tense silence for the housekeeper to knock on the door.

‘Hasn’t changed,’ Lucy confirmed, still wondering if this aloof stranger was the same man she’d kissed, and with whom she’d shared such an explosion of joy when they’d made love. When they’d first met he’d seemed so humorous, and approachable, but now her hackles rose. ‘How would you feel if I asked you to be my official lover?’

‘Pretty good,’ he said without missing a beat.

Not so aloof now, she thought, still feeling needled and demeaned by Tadj’s suggestion. ‘It’s different,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘You’re suggesting I become the Emir of Qalala’s concubine. Do you know how cheap that makes me feel?’

That’s your problem, his look suggested.

‘Let’s turn this on its head,’ she said. ‘I ask you to be my lover, making it clear that all I need from you is sex and laughs, with no expectations on either side. When I’m tired of you, I ditch you. I’d like to say I’d give you a pension when you leave, but I’m afraid that won’t be possible.’

‘Lucy!’ Tadj rapped impatiently, ‘That is not what I’m suggesting.’

‘Well, it sounds like it,’ she flared. ‘Can’t you see how ridiculous your suggestion is in this day and age? No,’ she warned when his eyes flashed with humour. ‘This isn’t a joke. Don’t mock me. I need you to take this seriously.’

She was full of angry frustration. No one could frustrate her like Tadj. She never knew if he was being serious or teasing her. The only certainty was that sensible Lucy was nowhere to be found when Tadj was in the frame.

Picking up the phone, Tadj spoke to the housekeeper, asking that she delay taking Lucy to her room for another half an hour. ‘Sit down,’ he said quietly when he’d cut the line. ‘I have something to tell you—to explain to you.’

‘Oh?’ She took a couple of steadying breaths, which gave her enough time to accept that it might be to her advantage to listen.

‘You think I’m being autocratic, but what you need to understand is that Qalala is different, and, though you’re expecting my child, the position of mistress is the only way I can have that child recognised in some way.’

‘In some way?’ Lucy exclaimed with affront. ‘That’s not enough. Either you recognise your child or you don’t. There can be no half measures where children are concerned.’

‘Please hear me out.’

She agreed with a curt nod.

‘Thank you.’ Coming to sit on a chair facing her, Tadj explained, ‘The constitution of Qalala only allows the Emir to make a constitutional marriage, which is always arranged by committee.’

‘You’re joking!’ Lucy cut in with disbelief.

‘Actually, I’m not,’ Tadj said in the same measured tone. ‘There were many things I wanted to change when I inherited the throne, but the first thing I had to do was to set Qalala back on its feet in order to stop my people starving. My uncle ruined the country, so I hope you can understand that those vital actions were much higher up my agenda than dealing with the country’s antiquated laws. These laws also allow for the Emir to take concubines, as you call them, and further allows for their children to be recognised and accepted into society. I imagine the thinking was that these state-arranged marriages might not always succeed, and so a provision was put in place to allow future rulers to find some happiness with their mistresses and children.’

‘Wow,’ Lucy murmured, utterly lost for words.

They were both silent for quite a while; now Tadj had been so frank with her, she felt she owed the same to him. ‘Seems we both have something to confess,’ she admitted.

As they stared at each other, she could see that Tadj was wondering what new bombshell was about to hit. Better to speak frankly, and hold nothing back. ‘I need to get out of the country fast,’ she admitted.

Tadj’s expression didn’t change, so, inhaling shakily, she told him the rest. ‘My stepfather is a criminal and has just been released from jail.’

She expected a reaction, but Tadj’s face told her nothing. ‘He’s a criminal boss with a very long reach, who made my mother’s life a misery, and now he’s threatening my mother through me. If she doesn’t take him back, he’ll come after me. That’s why my mother begged me to get out of the country. I received the call from her quite literally minutes before I saw you in the restaurant. You gave me the perfect way out,’ she admitted. ‘So, there you are,’ she said when Tadj remained silent. ‘I need you to help me, and you want me to be your mistress, so your child will be recognised and not hidden away. If a compromise is possible, I have to consider it...’ she waited. ‘Please say something.’

Tadj picked up the phone ‘I’m calling my housekeeper to show you to your room. Be ready to leave for Qalala first thing in the morning.’