Читать книгу Сердце тьмы. Уровень 2 / Heart of Darkness - Джозеф Конрад, Ford Madox Hueffer - Страница 6

In about forty-five seconds I found myself again in the waiting-room with the compassionate secretary. He was full of desolation and sympathy. He gave me some document to sign. I believe I undertook amongst other things not to disclose any trade secrets. Well, I am not going to.

I began to feel slightly uneasy. You know I am not used to such ceremonies. There was something ominous in the atmosphere. I don’t know – I felt that something was not quite right. I was glad to get out. In the outer room the two women knitted black wool feverishly. People were arriving. The younger woman was walking back and forth with them. The old woman sat on her chair. Her flat cloth slippers were propped up on a foot-warmer[13]. A cat reposed on her lap. She wore a starched white affair on her head. She had a wart on one cheek, and silver-rimmed spectacles on the tip of her nose. She glanced at me above the glasses. The swift and indifferent placidity of that look troubled me.

Two youths with foolish and cheery countenances arrived. She threw at them the same quick glance of wisdom. She seemed to know all about them and about me, too. An eerie feeling came over me. She seemed uncanny and fateful. Often far away there I thought of these two women. They were guarding the door of Darkness. They were knitting black wool as for a warm pall. The first woman was introducing continuously to the unknown, the other woman was scrutinizing the cheery and foolish faces with unconcerned old eyes. Ave! Old knitter of black wool. Morituri te salutant[14]. Not many saw her again.

There was yet a visit to the doctor. ‘A simple formality,’ assured me the secretary. Soon a young chap with his hat over the left eyebrow – some clerk I suppose – came from somewhere upstairs, and led me forth. He was shabby and careless. He had inkstains on the sleeves of his jacket. His cravat was large and billowy. Under a chin it shaped like the toe of an old boot. It was a little too early for the doctor, so I proposed a drink.

As we sat over our vermouths he glorified the Company’s business. By and by[15] I expressed casually my surprise,

“Aren’t you going there?” I asked.

He became very cool and collected all at once.

“I am not such a fool as I look, said Plato to his disciples,” he said sententiously.

Then he emptied his glass with great resolution, and we rose.

The old doctor felt my pulse.

“Good, good for there,” he mumbled.

Then with certain eagerness he asked me to let him measure my head. Rather surprised, I said “Yes”. He produced a thing like calipers and got the dimensions back and front and every way. He was taking notes carefully. He was an unshaven little man in a threadbare coat like a gaberdine, with his feet in slippers. I thought he was a harmless fool.

“I always want, in the interests of science, to measure the crania of those who are going out there,” he said.

“And when they come back, too?” I asked.

“Oh, I never see them,” he remarked; “and, moreover, the changes take place inside, you know.”

He smiled, as if at some quiet joke.

“So you are going out there. Famous. Interesting, too.”

He gave me a serious glance, and made another note.

“Any madness in your family?” he asked.

I felt very annoyed.

“Is that question in the interests of science, too?”

“It will be,” he said, “interesting for science to watch the mental changes of individuals, on the spot, but…”

“Are you an alienist?” I interrupted.

“Every doctor must be – a little,” answered he imperturbably. “I have a little theory which you gentlemen who go out there must help me to prove. This is my share in the advantages my country shall reap from the possession of such a magnificent dependency. The mere wealth I leave to others. Pardon my questions, but you are the first Englishman under my observation…”

I hastened to assure him I was not in the least typical.

“Really?” said I. “But I talk to you.”

“What you say is rather profound, and probably erroneous,” he said, with a laugh. “Avoid irritation more than exposure to the sun. Adieu. How do you English say, eh? Good-bye. Ah! Good-bye. Adieu. In the tropics one must keep calm.”

He lifted a warning forefinger,

“Keep calm, keep calm.”