Читать книгу When I'm With You - Donna Hill - Страница 17

Chapter 6

Generally, after talking with Rafe, she always felt better, secure, uplifted, everything but what she felt now. She slipped out of her robe, turned back the sheets and crawled under the covers. Something was wrong. She felt it in the tone of Rafe’s voice. It wasn’t what he said, but what he didn’t.

Had he brought up her concerns about the wedding and it didn’t go well? Had he gotten into it with his sisters? She should have told him not to say anything. She was a big girl and didn’t need her husband-to-be running to her rescue. She was skilled in dealing with insurmountable obstacles. How difficult could three sisters be?

She turned on her side and switched off the nightstand lamp, but it was hours before she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

Alice was busy in the kitchen when Avery wandered in close to noon.

“Well, well, there you are.” She wiped down the counter with a damp cloth. “You were up late.”

Avery plopped down on a counter chair. “Couldn’t sleep after I got in last night. Thought watching television would help. Sorry if I kept you up.”

“Not at all. I’m a night owl. Came down to make some warm milk and I saw the television light on under your door.” She came to stand beside Avery’s hunched form. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t look like yourself.”

Avery forced a smile. “Who do I look like?” she teased.

Alice placed a comforting hand on Avery’s stiff shoulder. “Like a woman who needs to talk.” She sat down.

Avery blinked rapidly. She lowered her head and then glanced briefly at Alice. The only female in her life that she’d confided in was Kerry. Growing into womanhood without her mom, there was a reluctance inside that kept her from forming any female bonds for fear that the bond would be broken, taken from her like her mother was. She had no frame of reference for mothering, even as she desperately craved it.

Tears, unbidden, slid from her eyes. Instinctively, Alice gathered Avery in her arms and held her close, let her cry. Tenderly she stroked her back and cooed soft words into Avery’s hair. “Let it out,” she soothed. “It’s all right.”

“I’m s-orry,” Avery whispered and sniffed.

“Nothing to be sorry for. We all need a good cry every now and then.”

Avery sniffed harder, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and lowered her head.

Alice eased back but kept her hands planted on Avery’s shoulders. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you?” she gently asked.

Avery pushed out a long breath. “I don’t know how to handle being in this family, any family. I’ve had to go at it on my own for most of my life. Then there’s my career. It’s all about orders and following instructions, being on alert, suspicious.” She sighed. “In my life outside of work it’s the only time when I can pull away from the straitjacket of my everyday life. Now, with the wedding and Rafe’s family...all of those mixed feelings and experiences tumble all over each other and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Alice patted Avery’s thigh. “When you spend hours out of your day being on alert, looking for shadows in every corner, it’s got to be hard to let that go, to trust that there are folks that ain’t the boogeyman, that don’t intend to hurt you, that only want to get close because they really do care. Rafe loves you and you love him, and he’s not going to see you struggle against the weight of his overbearing family.” She wagged a finger. “At the same time, you gonna have to dig deep and find a space that you can open.” She smiled. “Burdens and troubles ain’t so heavy when you have help.” She tipped her head to the side. “How many weddings you planned?”

Avery’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened a bit but then closed.

“Hmm. Those girls, if they know nothing else it’s how to put a wedding together.” She chuckled. “Give them and yourself a chance. I understand the ties that bind you at work. You don’t get to speak up, only take orders, and it’s hard to break old habits. But...how ’bout this. Next time, you initiate the get-together. You call Dom or Desi and tell them your thoughts. One step at a time?” Her right brow lifted with emphasis.

Avery pushed out a breath. “You’re right. This is all so new to me.”

“As much as those Lawsons may fuss and feud with each other, the love and the bond that they have is unbreakable.” She squeezed Avery’s hands. “They want you to be part of that. And if you give it a chance, you might find what you’ve spent your life looking for.”

Avery wiped away the remnants of her tears and offered up a wobbly smile. “I’ll try.”

Alice winked. “Good girl. Now,” she planted her hands on her hips, “hungry?”

She smiled for real this time. “Starved.”