Читать книгу The Texan's Baby - DONNA ALWARD, Donna Alward - Страница 10

Chapter Four

Chris rolled over and lifted an arm over his head, staring up at the ceiling of Lizzie’s condo. It was coolly modern, decorated in a lot of black, white and chrome. Beautiful, he supposed, but a little sterile and missing out on the coziness he’d been expecting. It was decorated much like an executive suite rather than a home. The sofa had been comfortable enough though his feet dangled over the end, and she’d given him a soft comforter and nice pillow. And at first he’d slept okay.

But then he’d opened his eyes while it was still dark outside and he hadn’t been able to get back to sleep.

Yesterday had been stupidly surreal and when he put all the pieces of what had happened together, it was hard to believe. He’d known Jet and Jacob for a while, and everyone was familiar with the Baron business, but he’d never crossed paths with Lizzie until that night in the bar.

She should seem more of a stranger to him, but there was a familiarity that was surprising. He sighed deeply. A logical man would be wondering about a paternity test. A cautious guy wouldn’t take everything she said at face value. It wasn’t like she’d been all that transparent at their first meeting....

And yet he did believe her. He couldn’t explain why, especially when he tended to be a bit cynical at the best of times. Somehow it felt as though he’d known her longer. There was a comfort level that was unique. Under the circumstances, a guy would shy away from family drama like the Barons had gone through yesterday.

Instead he’d inserted himself right in the middle. And he’d enjoyed seeing Jet and Jacob, liked taking the innocent and impish Alex to the cafeteria.

He had yet to meet Brock, but the truth was he liked her family. It was big and complicated and caring—the sort of noisy, loving family he’d never had but always wanted, growing up as an only child.

But there was still the matter of Lizzie, and the fact that she wasn’t interested in him personally—she was only interested in how they were going to handle the logistics of parenthood. It was the strangest start to a relationship he’d ever had. Only six months ago Erica had bailed on him and he’d seen her true colors. She’d wanted what he could provide more than she wanted him. She’d wanted the paycheck, the house and the white-picket fence. And when he’d turned his back on his job to go rodeoing, she’d left, saying he wasn’t the man she thought he was.

There was no danger of Lizzie wanting him for his stability and security. She had Baron money backing her up. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, either. The truth was she was having his kid and she didn’t need him in any way. What would keep her from shutting him out of his child’s life if things went badly?

He was still lost in his thoughts when he heard footsteps shuffling on the upper level of the condo, followed by the most pitiful sound of retching he’d ever heard.

Morning sickness. The perfect reminder that she was far more affected by this pregnancy than he was—at least for the moment.

It was rude to listen but he didn’t see how it could be avoided. After a very long few minutes, the toilet flushed and he heard water running. He’d better get up and get moving.

He was dressed and in the process of folding up the comforter she’d given him when she came downstairs, freshly showered and dressed in neat trousers, low heels and a blousy pink top with asymmetric ruffles across the front. She looked quite pretty, he realized, except her eyes looked tired and her face still held a grayish-green pallor.

“Good morning.” He felt completely out of his depth.

She tried to smile back, but it didn’t quite make it. “I’d offer you coffee, but I don’t have any in the house. I can’t stand the smell of the stuff these days.”

“That’s okay.” He finished folding the blanket and put it on the end of the sofa. Smells, too? Clearly he wasn’t familiar with the ins and outs of pregnancy.

“Do you want some breakfast? I’m fairly well stocked. There’s cereal or eggs or oatmeal. Bread for toast.”

“What are you having?”

“Some buttered toast.”

“That works for me. What can I do?”

She shrugged. “Nothing, really.”

He went into the kitchen anyway and took the loaf of bread from her hands. He slid two pieces into the toaster. “Where’s your butter and a knife?”

Wordlessly she got out two plates, a knife and two glasses. “Apple juice okay? I can’t seem to handle the acid in the orange in the morning.”

“Apple’s fine,” he answered, marveling at the peculiarities of pregnancy once more. He was so over his head and unsure of how to proceed. Never mind he still had to get back to his place so he could head to his mom and dad’s. He hadn’t wanted to give them much information last night when he’d called to say he wouldn’t be arriving for a few days. Some news was better delivered in person—and after he and Lizzie had made a plan of some sort.

The toast popped and he buttered it, but as he was putting it on a plate Lizzie disappeared again, this time into the downstairs half bath. The slammed door didn’t do much to muffle the sounds coming from within.

He ate the two pieces of toast that were prepared, not really noticing the taste. It was only a few minutes when Lizzie came back out, her smile a little easier now.

“I should be good now,” she said hopefully. “I find I’m only really sick first thing in the morning. I guess I didn’t get it all out the first time.” She blushed a little and Chris thought she looked adorable. “Is there any more toast?”

“How can you think about eating?” He stared at her.

She laughed a bit. “Actually, it’s normally better if I can eat a little first. The empty stomach is the worst for the nausea.”

“Any other things I should be aware of?” he asked, plopping two more slices of bread into the slots.

Lizzie handed him a glass of juice. “Well, I get sleepy and tend to nap and not always at the best time. I’ve also had to start wearing less fitted clothing, because I’m not showing yet but my waist seems to be getting bigger all of a sudden.”

Changes. So many of them.

“How’d things go with your dad last night?” He handed her the hot toast. Lizzie had barely spoken to him on the drive home, and then when they’d arrived she’d made sure he had bedding before she went up to her room. The dark circles were still slightly visible under her eyes. Without asking, he’d understood that seeing her dad in the hospital bed and the long day had taken a toll.

Lizzie perched on a bar stool and nibbled. “It was rough. He looked so gray, and he was awake but very groggy from the anesthetic and pain meds. He’s usually up and giving orders, you know?”

“So what happens now?”

“I suppose I go back to the hospital today and see how he’s doing, and then take you back to San Antonio.”

“Don’t you think we should talk about what we’re going to do?”

She took a bigger bite of toast, chewed, swallowed. It was almost as if the bite bought her time to think. To deliberate how to put her next words. “Well, I don’t actually need you to ‘do’ anything. It’s not like we’re...well...”

Her gaze met his and his pulse jumped again. He frowned. The problem was he kept having these reactions to her and he didn’t want to. It muddied the waters too much. Plus there was the baby to think about. They needed to set the boundaries of their relationship now so there was no confusion later. “How do you see me participating?” He finished his toast and put his plate in the sink.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” she replied. “Financially I’m okay. I guess I was just thinking you needed to know and not much beyond that.”

That she didn’t need his money was a slight relief but it also didn’t sit well. What kind of man would he be if he didn’t help support his own kid? Certainly not the man his father raised. And his mom and dad were already perplexed about his choice to leave the company for a year to pursue rodeo. A waste of time, they’d called it. Impractical.

He set his teeth. Why did it always come down to doing the things that other people wanted him to do rather than what he wanted?

Erica’s parting words echoed in his ears. “You’re not who I thought you were,” she’d accused. “I thought you were stable, reliable, going somewhere. And all you can think about is playing with your damned horses.”

The one time he made a choice for himself and look what happened. There was no way he could “play” at rodeo for the whole season when there was a baby on the way. There were medical bills to pay. Things that Lizzie would need. And he had enough pride to be determined that she wouldn’t shoulder all that herself. Yeah, he’d taken the year off after calculating he had enough to cover his own expenses. But this was definitely an extra he hadn’t counted on.

Then there was Lizzie herself. It bugged him that she expected so little. And it bugged him that she seemed so completely immune to him. It wasn’t so long ago that she’d been in his arms, surrendering to his touch. He swallowed heavily and tried to banish the image that fired through his brain.

“The truth is, I don’t know what the hell I want,” he answered honestly. “I think we both need time to think about it, sort things through. I’m having a hard time thinking of myself as a dad. And we barely know each other.”

Maybe, but it was hard not to get lost in the deep blue of her eyes. They were large and thickly lashed and stood out especially with her hair pulled back away from her face. He couldn’t be faulted for his attraction, could he? She was a beautiful woman.

“I’m struggling with that, too,” she admitted. “I always thought I’d start with my career at Baron, and then fall in love and get married and then think about kids.”

“All on a well-executed schedule?”

“Something like that.” She smiled weakly at him.

“I always thought I’d work with horses,” he admitted. “I loved rodeo and still do, but more than that I loved working in the barns, taking care of the stock, just like my dad. I used to help him at the ranch where he worked. Followed him around like a devoted puppy.” He grinned.

“What happened?”

Chris shrugged. “My parents wanted more for me. I showed a good head for numbers and liked science. I mostly took engineering to please them. They worked hard to save enough to help send me to university. It felt like the right thing to do.”

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s all right.” He frowned. He always felt a little guilty about not being happier in his profession. “It’s a good living. And I’ve been able to help them out from time to time, pay them back for my education.”

She nodded. “That’s too bad. That you’re not happy, that is. My sister Savannah manages the store on the ranch, and she loves it. You can see it in her face when you walk in, she’s smiles from ear to ear. I might not be quite that open with my feelings, but I always wanted to work with Dad at Baron.”

“And you like Human Resources?”

“Sure. I like people. I like thinking about their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, how they interact with other people, seeing who’d make a good fit on a team. I think I get a good sense of things and it made me good at my job.”

“Made?”

“I’m not quite as hands-on as I used to be. Most of that is left to my manager and his staff.”

Chris nodded. “And now you’re looking at having to step into the driver’s seat.”

She raised her eyebrows in a “what are you going to do?” look. “It appears so. I guess the one good thing about it is that Dad should be back before the baby’s born.”

He hadn’t even thought to ask about a due date. A quick calculation in his mind put him at mid-October. “What is the official date, anyway?”

“October twelfth.”

An autumn baby. His parents would be thrilled.

She checked her watch. “I suppose I should get to the hospital.”

“I’ll get ready,” he suggested. “I don’t want to hold you up.”

She looked surprised. “I don’t expect you to hang around there again, you know. Yesterday you went way above and beyond.”

There she was, pushing him away again. “Wouldn’t it be easier to go with you, and then we can leave right from the hospital instead of backtracking?”

“People will get the wrong idea.”

He pursed his lips. “So what? Eventually they are going to know we had sex. You said it yourself. Showing up together makes it look like there was more to it than a one-nighter. Unless there’s another reason why you don’t want me around?”

She blushed.

“Is there another reason, Lizzie?”

“Like what?” She lifted her chin and he saw the spark of defiance in her eyes. He liked it. Liked her when she got a little fired up. She’d been this way before, too. A little on edge. Exciting.

He moved closer to her, saw her pupils widen and that’s when he knew. The cool, calm demeanor wasn’t completely real. Oh, he had no doubt that she wanted it to be, but it wasn’t. Another step put him directly in front of her, close enough he could smell the light floral scent of her shampoo, see the way her pulse beat heavily at her throat. Pounding the way his was pounding. The pull between them was still there, strong as ever.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Shh,” he ordered, as he contemplated his next move.

Chris touched his lips to hers, testing, and felt a familiar jolt rush through him, zinging from his fingers through to his toes. What was it about this woman that fired his passion so completely? Yesterday there’d been too much to take in, too much information to process, but today was different. Today was slower. Less of a shock. And to his surprise, the taste of her lips was achingly familiar even though he’d only tasted them once before.

She opened to him a little, shyly at first, and he put his hand along the small of her back and drew her closer. Her arms lifted around his neck and he deepened the kiss by degrees until his tongue touched hers and the flame flickering inside him threatened to ignite completely. Reluctantly he pulled back, leaving his hands on her hips as the kiss broke off.

“What the hell?” she whispered, a furious tone in her voice. “That is not part of the plan!”

“We don’t even have a plan. Every time we go to talk about it, the subject changes.”

“Well, excuse me.” She wiped her hand across her lips. “I haven’t exactly been in this position before.”

“Well, neither have I! You’re the one who likes to have everything organized and tied up with a ribbon, aren’t you? And every time we get close to saying what we want, one of us backs away.”

She pursed her lips.

“Do you want to raise him or her alone, then?” he persisted. “And me completely out of the picture?”

“I don’t know!” She raised her voice, and he could see she was not in the calm control she longed for.

“That’s right. You don’t know. Neither do I. And this baby isn’t coming for several months yet. Why do we need to decide right now?”

“Because I...because...” She floundered, running a hand over her neat hair. “Because we should start as we mean to go on.”

“Says who? We barely know each other. Maybe we should work on that before making written-in-stone decisions.”

“I don’t see how kissing me fits into a...a custodial arrangement.”

“Lizzie,” he said quietly. “There was something between us because otherwise we wouldn’t have made this baby. If there’s still something between us, we should address it, don’t you think?”

Her gaze slid away. “I can’t think about this right now. My dad’s in the hospital. I’m going to have to manage the company while he’s out and I have to focus on that.”

“That and taking care of yourself,” he reminded her.

“Well, of course that!” She backed away from him. “You’re just mixing me up, Chris.”

He’d been thinking how he was dealing with an overload of information, but now he realized that Lizzie was dealing with even more. Her emotions were being pulled in several directions. Maybe she could only handle one thing at a time.

In which case she was right. Kissing her hadn’t been fair, even though it had been very enlightening. The spark was still there.

“Let’s go then, and leave the rest for another time.”

Her face softened with a sliver of gratitude and she reached for her purse and briefcase.

* * *

NO ONE SEEMED surprised to see Chris with Lizzie at the hospital waiting room. Savannah had come in early before opening the store for the Saturday crowd, and Carly had gone for coffee for everyone. Julieta and Alex were there already, Alex looking bored as he listlessly colored in a coloring book. The boys had gone off to wherever, not competing this weekend but not at the hospital either.