Читать книгу A Family for the Rugged Rancher / Soldier on Her Doorstep: A Family for the Rugged Rancher / Soldier on Her Doorstep - DONNA ALWARD, Donna Alward - Страница 11

EMILY CALLED HER parents first thing after breakfast, once Luke was out of the house and she’d sent Sam upstairs to get dressed. She kept the call brief, merely letting them know of the change of situation and a number where they could contact her.

Then she hung up, feeling like a big fat coward. Her parents had no idea how tight things had become financially, and she didn’t want them to either. She knew her dad would insist on helping, something they could not afford now that he was retired. Maybe Luke was right. Maybe she did have too much pride. But there was satisfaction in knowing she was doing it herself. And refusing help also meant she was one-hundred-percent free to make her own choices. She liked that.

She liked being at the Evans ranch, too. She had a purpose, something that had seemed to be missing for too long. She hung out a load of laundry, smelling the lilacs on the air as she pinned the clothes on the line. Sam handed her the clothespins, his dark hair shining in the morning sunlight. “I like it here,” she said easily, taking another of Luke’s T-shirts and hanging it by the hem. “What about you, Sam?”

Sam shrugged. “It’s quiet. And I haven’t been able to see much.”

“Maybe this afternoon we can take a walk. Search out some wildflowers and birds’ nests.” Emily felt a catch in her heart, wishing for a moment that he had a brother or sister to keep him company. “I can ask around about some day camps, too, if you like.”

“I like the horses,” Sam replied, handing her another clothespin. “Do you think I’ll be able to ride one?”

Emily frowned. Sam was five and a full-grown horse was so … huge. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Luke has quarter horses, and he’s very busy.”

Sam looked disappointed. “Don’t worry,” she added, ruffling his hair. “Once we get settled it’ll all come around all right. Promise.”

Sam went off to color in an activity book while Emily fussed around the kitchen, taking a tray of chicken breasts out to thaw for supper. Their conversation had made her think. Keeping Sam busy might be harder than she’d thought. She’d have to think of ways to keep him entertained. She looked at the chicken and then around at the kitchen. Luke had thanked her for the meal last night but it was clear to her that he appreciated plain cooking. Why not keep Sam occupied today by baking? He loved helping her at home. An apple cake, perhaps. And cookies. Sam loved rolling cookies.

With the house tidied and the laundry under control, Emily liked the thought of spending the day in the kitchen, mixing ingredients. She hummed a little as she got out a mixing bowl and began setting out what she’d need. She imagined Luke coming in to rich spicy smells and the smile that would turn his lips up just a bit at the edges.

Her hand stilled on a bag of sugar. Why should it matter if he smiled at her or not? Her stomach did a flutter as she remembered the way his hands had squeezed her fingers last night. He was being nice, that was all. Maybe that was it. He didn’t come across as a typically nice person, so last night’s chat in the dark had thrown her off balance.

She knew the recipes by heart and when Sam came back downstairs, they began mixing, rolling and baking. The apple cake, with its topping of brown sugar and cinnamon was cooling on the stovetop and Sam took a fork and pressed on the peanut butter cookies in a crisscross pattern. She’d just sat Sam up to the table with a few warm cookies and a glass of milk when the screen door slammed. Emily pressed a hand to her belly, brushing the flour off the white-and-blue apron she’d found in a drawer. Luke was back already? And the kitchen was still a mess, with dirty dishes and flour dusting the counter surfaces!

“Luke, you here?”

The voice was male but it definitely wasn’t Luke’s. Emily bit down on her lip as Sam paused mid-drink and looked at her.

“Wait here,” she instructed Sam, and took a breath. Whoever was there was comfortable enough to come into the house without knocking.

“Hello?” She stepped through the swinging door of the kitchen and moved towards the foyer, where she could hear footsteps. “Can I help you?”

A tower of a man came around the corner. He topped Luke by a good three inches, and Luke had to be close to six feet. Instead of Luke’s uniform of jeans and T-shirts, this man wore dress trousers and a shirt and tie, and he carried a box cradled under one arm. Short-cropped walnut-brown hair and warm brown eyes assessed her. “You must be the new housekeeper,” he said, but he smiled, making the to-the-point introduction friendly rather than brusque. “I’m Joe. Luke’s brother-in-law.”

This was Cait’s husband, Emily remembered. The one who worked at the equipment dealership. “The new dad,” she replied, holding out her hand. “Congratulations. I’m Emily Northcott.”

His dark eyes were warm and friendly as he took her hand. “My wife is very glad you’re here at last. She was worried about her big brother managing everything.” He inclined his chin for a moment. “It smells good in here.”

She withdrew her hand from his, feeling unease center in her belly. When she’d met Luke and shaken his hand, there’d been a queer fluttering and the heat of his skin against hers. With Joe there was none of that. It shouldn’t have been different. Luke wasn’t any different. He was just a guy.

If that were true, why had she felt the curl of anticipation when the screen door had slammed?

Now his brother-in-law was here and she was feeling that she should play host. “There’s coffee and warm cookies, if you’d like some,” she invited.

“I wouldn’t say no.” He put the box on the floor by the door. “Cait in the hospital means cooking for myself right now. If you think Luke’s bad in the kitchen … I think I can burn water. Cait got her mother’s cooking skills, thank God.”

Joe followed her into the kitchen and stopped at the sight of Sam at the table. “Your son?” he asked.

“Yes, this is Sam. Sam, this is Mr. Evans’s brother-in-law, Joe.”

“You’re not a cowboy like Luke,” Sam stated, taking the last half of his cookie and dunking it in his milk. Crumbs floated on the top of the creamy surface.

Joe looked down at himself and back up. “No, I guess you’re right! I work at the tractor dealership in town.”

“I could tell by your clothes.”

Joe laughed while Emily resisted the compulsion to curb Sam’s matter-of-fact observations.

“Believe it or not, Sam, I’ve done a fair share of farm jobs. Not like Luke, of course.” Joe looked at Emily and winked. It was clear that Luke had already made a solid impression on her son. “But I’ve been known to lend a hand now and again.”

“Luke has a four-wheeler and a tractor and horses. I haven’t seen them yet, though. Not up close.”

Sam’s dark eyes were wide with honest disappointment. Emily hadn’t realized that Sam had noticed all those things in addition to the horses. She wondered if she could convince Luke to take him for a ride on the quad or tractor one of these days.

She handed Joe a mug of coffee and put the cream and sugar in front of him as he sat at the table. “Is your wife coming home from the hospital soon?” She offered him a cookie.

“Maybe this afternoon.”

“You must be excited.”

His eyes gleamed. “We are. We’ve been waiting a long time for Janna to arrive. Cait has been worried about Luke, though. The ad for the housekeeper didn’t get results and Cait is a mother hen. It’s one less thing for her to worry about. And then I won’t have to worry about her.”

It was clear to Emily by the way Joe spoke, from the gleam in his eyes, that he loved his wife very much. It was beautiful but caused a sad pang inside her. She’d thought she had that once. Had Rob ever looked at her that way? She’d thought so. Now she wondered if her radar had been flawed all along. She wasn’t sure she could ever trust her judgment again.

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

Luke stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his hat in his hands and a smile of pure pleasure on his face. “How’s the new father?”

“Anxious to get my family home.”

“Mom and baby?” Luke stepped inside the kitchen and Emily felt the disconcerting swoop again, the one that felt like riding the roller coaster at Calaway Park. Trouble.

“Home this afternoon, I hope. I brought your parts out that you asked for. Have a cookie, Luke. They’re mighty good. I get the feeling you lucked out with your housekeeper.”

“I could have come in and picked them up.” Luke angled Joe a telling look. “Unless Cait sent you out here to do a little recon.”

Joe didn’t even look away, just smiled crookedly at Luke. “I’m not in a position to say no to that woman at the moment,” he replied. “And even if I tried, she’d remind me about the twelve hours of labor she just had to endure.”

Luke took a cookie from the plate and met Emily’s eyes across the kitchen. It was as if an electric wire sizzled between them, and she held her breath. Last night he’d come close to kissing her. At the time she’d put it down to her own fanciful thinking in the moonlight, but she was sure of it now. With his blue gaze flashing at her, she knew she’d been right.

He bit into the cookie and a few crumbs fluttered to the floor. She watched, fascinated, as his lips closed around the sweet and his tongue snuck out to lick away the bits that clung to his bottom lip.

Oh, dear.

She suddenly realized that Joe was watching them with one eyebrow raised and she forced a smile, grabbing a dishcloth and starting to run some water into the sink. “I’m afraid the kitchen is quite a mess,” she said, knowing it was inane conversation but desperately needing to fill the gap of silence. “I’d better get started on these dishes.”

“And I’d better get back to town.” Joe stood up, brought his cup to the sink. “Nice to meet you, Emily.”

“You, too. Congratulations again.” She squeezed soap into the running water. She didn’t dare look at him. She’d blush, she just knew it. She’d been horribly transparent when she’d met Luke’s gaze.

“Thanks for bringing the parts out,” Luke said, grabbing another cookie. “I’m heading back out, but now I can get a start on them tonight.”

A start? Emily’s head swiveled around to look at him. Did he work from dawn until dusk every day?

“Oh, and I brought out some rhubarb,” Joe added. “Liz sent it. She said if you couldn’t use it now to freeze it. I’m betting Emily could work her magic on it though.”

“I can try,” she said softly, watching the two of them leave the kitchen and head to the front door.

It was all so normal. A family who cared and looked after each other. Even the idea that Joe had been sent to scope her out for the family didn’t really bother her. It was what families did, she supposed. When Luke needed a tractor part, his brother-in-law brought it. Cait worried about him and his other sister sent rhubarb. It was their way of showing they cared. The kind of big family she’d always wanted and had never had.

Sam hopped down from his chair and asked if he could go play in the yard. She let him go, not wanting him to see the telltale moisture gathering in her eyes. She was a good mother. She knew that. She loved Sam and had never regretted staying home with him. But who was there for her?

She scrubbed at the mixing bowl that had held the cake batter and sniffed. Suddenly she wished for an older sister or brother. Someone she might have called when her life was falling apart to reminisce with about childhood. Someone to share her hurt with—and someone to make her laugh again.

Someone like Luke, last night. He’d listened. He’d even made her laugh a little. But Luke was different. There was nothing brotherly about the way she reacted when she was near him. That frankly scared her to death.

“I thought I’d bring you the rhubarb before I headed out.”

For once she hadn’t heard him come back in and his deep voice shimmered along all her nerve endings. She swallowed, hating that he’d caught her in a moment of self-pity. “Thank you, Luke. I’ll make sure I do something with it right away.”

“Em?”

He shortened her name and the intimate feeling of being alone with him multiplied.

“Are you okay?”

She gave a little laugh. “Oh, it’s foolishness. You caught me being a little sorry for myself, that’s all.”

“Why?”

He took a step closer.

She could hardly breathe. “I don’t know your family, but I get the sense that you all look after each other. It’s nice, that’s all. I don’t have any brothers or sisters.”

“You’ve handled your situation all alone, haven’t you?”

“Pretty much. Friends can only take so much of hearing your troubles, you know? I’m not very much fun these days. So many of them are couples, and I was suddenly the odd man out. They were Rob’s friends, too, and it is awkward if you’re suddenly picking sides. It was just.”

“Easier to stay away?”

She looked up, surprised yet again that he seemed to understand so easily. “Yes, I guess so. Sometimes I miss the easygoing, fun Emily I used to be.”

“Taking the responsibility of the world on your shoulders tends to have that effect,” he replied, coming to her and putting his wide hands on her arms. “You are doing the best you can, right?”

She swallowed, tried to ignore the heat from his hands soaking through the cotton of her shirt. “Taking care of Sam is everything to me.” She blinked, feeling herself unravel at the kind way he was looking at her. “Not being able to support us makes me feel like such a failure.”

He lifted one hand and gently traced his thumb beneath her eye, lifting the moisture away from the skin. “You are not a failure, Emily. You only fail if you stop trying. And I might not know you well, but I can see you’re no quitter.”

It was a lifeline to cling to and she shuddered in a breath. But when she looked up into his eyes, everything seemed to drop out of her, making her feel weightless, feel that the clock on the wall had suddenly stopped ticking.

His fingers tightened on her shoulder as he drew her closer. For a few precious seconds his lips hovered only an inch from hers. Her heart hammered, wanting desperately for him to kiss her and terrified that he actually might.

Then his breath came out in a rush and he moved back, wiping a hand over his face. “What am I doing?” he asked, more to himself than to her, she realized. Her face flamed with embarrassment. He’d stepped back, but she would have kissed him. If he’d stayed there a moment longer, she would have leaned in and touched his lips with her own.

“I’m sorry.” He put his hands in his pockets and the blue heat she’d seen in his eyes was cool and controlled now. “That isn’t why you’re here. I overstepped, Emily. It won’t happen again.”

Why on earth was she feeling such profound disappointment? Kissing him would complicate everything! And there was Sam to consider. What if he saw them? He still hadn’t quite grasped the unalterable fact that his father wasn’t coming back.

“It would be confusing to Sam if he were to see,” she said quietly. “And I am not in the market for a relationship. You must know that.”

“I do. Of course I do.” He had the grace to look chastened. “I don’t play games, Emily. I’m not interested in romance either, and I won’t toy with you. What happened just now was … an aberration.”

He paused, and Emily knew he was measuring his words. What was he protecting? Luke seemed fine when he was dealing with others, but when it came to himself he was irritatingly closed off. He had been open and laughing with Joe, but with her he put the walls back up. She wondered why.

“I don’t understand you at all, Luke. You can be very distant, and then last night it was almost as if you were right there in my shoes. Why is that?”

He stared out the window and she wondered if he was avoiding looking at her on purpose.

“I know what it’s like to have so much responsibility on your shoulders, that’s all. I was only twenty when I took over this farm, and I’m the oldest. Cait and Liz were still in their teens. It’s not easy being thrust into the role of primary caregiver and provider. I understand that, Emily. After last night … let’s just say I want to help you get your feet beneath you again.”

Emily felt her pride take a hit. Had she really seemed that desperate? “Rescuing women and puppies, is that it?”

He frowned. “It’s not like that. There was no rescuing involved. I did need help. It was such a relief to come inside last night and know that the house wasn’t in shambles. To have a meal hot and waiting rather than throwing something together at the last minute. Why is it so hard for you to accept that this is important? I’m not a particularly charitable man, Emily. I’m not one for pretty words.”

She pondered it for a moment, not liking the answer that came to her mind.

“Don’t you think what you’ve done has value?”

He did know how to get in a direct shot, didn’t he? Emily dropped her eyes and reached for a dish towel.

“Economics, Emily. The value of something goes up when it’s in short supply. Believe me, I’ve had to keep up with the ranch and the house and … everything else on my own. I appreciate what you’ve done more than you know.”

She wondered what he’d really been going to say in the pause. What everything? “You’re just saying that.”

“Why would I?”

He came close again. Emily could feel him next to her shoulder and wanted so badly to turn into his arms. She clenched her jaw. How needy could she be, anyway? So desperate that she’d let herself be swayed by a husky voice and a pair of extraordinary blue eyes? She’d gone months without so much as a hug. Wanting to lose herself in his embrace made her weak, and she couldn’t give in. Her control was barely hanging on by a thread. She was afraid of what might happen if she let herself go. At the very least, she’d make a fool of herself, especially after their protests that neither of them were interested in romance. She didn’t want to look like a fool ever again.

“Did he tell you it wasn’t important?”

Emily didn’t have to ask who he was. She’d told Luke enough last night for him to paint a fairly accurate picture. “Staying home with Sam was a mutual decision,” she whispered. “But it didn’t stop him from getting in the little digs that the financial burden of the family rested on his shoulders. And he never quite saw that while I didn’t carry the finances, I looked after everything else, and gladly.” She swallowed. “We decided together. I did have to remind him of that on occasion.”

She twisted her hands in the dish towel, knowing if she turned her head the slightest bit she’d be staring into his eyes again. The temptation was there. To see if the flare in his eyes was real. Rob hadn’t appreciated her. She knew that now. He’d shouldered the financial responsibility of their family and then he’d had enough. She didn’t realize how much she needed the validation until she heard it from Luke’s lips—a relative stranger who seemed to appreciate her more in two short days than anyone had in years.

“There are some things you can’t put a price tag on,” Luke said. “He was a fool.”

Emily’s pulse leapt. Yes, he had been a fool. She had put everything into their family only to be discarded. She turned to Luke then, dropping the dish towel to the countertop. It was a seductive thing, to feel that she was being seen. Really seen.

“I know,” she whispered. “I know it in my head. It’s harder to convince my heart.”

A muscle ticked in Luke’s jaw as silence dropped. Emily couldn’t have dragged her gaze away if she’d tried. Their gazes meshed, pulling them together even as they both held back.

“Dammit,” Luke uttered, then curled his hand around the nape of her neck and moved in to kiss her.

She was vaguely aware of lifting her hands and placing them on his arms. The skin below the hem of his T-shirt sleeve was warm, covering solid muscle from his long days of manual labor. Every square inch of Luke Evans was solid, a formidable, unbreachable wall. Except his mouth. Oh, his mouth. It was incredibly mobile, slanted over hers and making her weak in the knees. He tasted like peanut butter cookies and coffee and the way he was kissing her made her feel like a strawberry, sweet and ripening on the vine in the summer sun.

His muscles relaxed against hers, but with the easing off came a new and wonderful complication: he settled into the kiss now, pulling her body flush against his, making her feel that it could go on forever and nearly wishing it would. She melted into him, resting against the solid wall of his chest, surrendering.

His cell phone rang, the holster vibrating against her hipbone. The ring tone sounded abnormally loud in the quiet kitchen and Emily staggered backwards, holding on to the counter for support. For one sublime second Luke’s gaze collided with hers, hot and perhaps a little confused. Blindly he reached for the phone and then the moment disintegrated into dust as he turned his attention to the display.

Emily grabbed at the discarded dish towel and began drying dishes, wiping each one with brisk efficiency before putting it on a clean portion of countertop. What had they done? Got completely carried away, that’s what, and right after they’d said they wouldn’t. Heat rushed to her cheeks and flooded through her body. It had been perfectly, wonderfully glorious.

But so wrong. If he’d set out to prove a point, he’d done it. She was vulnerable. Hungry for affection. She put down a mixing bowl and dropped her forehead to her palm. She’d been weak, when only minutes before she’d determined this wouldn’t happen. How could she keep the promises she’d made to herself and to Sam if she indulged in such a lack of self-control?

“I’ve got to get going,” Luke’s voice came from behind her and she straightened, stiffening her spine.

“Of course. You have work to do.”

“Emily.”

That one word—her name—seemed full of unasked questions. Was he feeling as uncertain as she was?

“Luke.” She said it firmly, shutting down any doubts. This couldn’t happen again. Thinking about whatever chemistry was zinging between them was bad enough. Acting on it was just wrong. She had a plan. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it would be good for her son. A mother did what she had to do. That included taking this job until she could find a more permanent situation.

“I … uh …”

Her throat constricted. She couldn’t bear to hear him apologize or say what a mistake it had been.

“You’d better attend to whatever that was,” she said, nodding at his phone.

“We’ll talk later?”

One more complicated look and he spun on his heel, heading out the door again without waiting for her to answer.

Talk? Emily put her fingers to her lips. They were still humming from the contact with his. They wouldn’t talk about this at all—not if she could help it.