Читать книгу Little Cowgirl on His Doorstep - DONNA ALWARD, Donna Alward - Страница 9

CALLUM HUNG UP the phone and sat at the kitchen table for a moment, trying to make sense of his thoughts. Avery hadn’t answered her cell, so he’d left a voice mail giving her the time of the doctor’s appointment. It would take a day or two to get the test in, so he hadn’t been able to get an appointment until midmorning on Friday. Avery probably wasn’t going to be happy about that, but it was out of his hands.

If she could just understand his reasons for asking for it in the first place…

But she didn’t nor would she. There was no sense bringing up the past when it couldn’t be changed. He’d learned his lesson and was smart enough not to get caught in the same trap ever again.

Now he’d lost the better part of the day. He’d planned to put the cows in the west pasture until milking time and it hadn’t happened. Then there was the load of hay he’d bought from the Diamond brothers over at Diamondback Ranch. It needed picking up.

Not to mention the fact that he ignored the house most of the time. He’d put on his last pair of jeans this morning and had thrown a load of laundry in the machine out of pure necessity. He knew the place looked bad. It hadn’t taken Avery’s turned-up nose yesterday to tell him that.

He’d probably been foolish to buy this place. He should have taken a job instead of trying to run everything solo. It was just…the idea of taking orders from someone again was so repulsive that he couldn’t see himself doing it. And he’d chosen the farm because the most uncomplicated time in his life for as far back as he could remember had been working summers on his uncle’s farm on the lower mainland. Nothing had been complicated when he’d been cutting hay or feeding calves or laughing—a lot.

It was the laughter he missed the most.

He knew everyone in Cadence Creek thought he was plumb crazy for wanting to raise dairy cows in the heart of beef country. Maybe he was. But for him the only real cow was a Holstein, and it made him happy. Five o’clock in the morning came early, but the time he spent in the milking parlor with the radio on was the best part of his day. Calm, quiet. Just him, the cows and country music.

And when George Grant had decided to retire and sell off his quota, it had seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Callum pushed away from the table and took his plate to the sink. It was full with dirty dishes. God, what a disaster. He had to do something, especially if Avery Spencer came around again.

He picked up the phone and dialed the only person he’d trusted since moving to the area: Tyson Diamond. Ty and his brother Sam ran the biggest ranch around but you’d never know it. Friendly, down-to-earth and always ready to offer advice or a willing hand, the brothers had eased Callum’s way as he’d taken over Grant’s farm. And neither of them had asked too many questions, either.

Ty answered on the first ring. “Tyson Diamond.”

“Ty, it’s Callum.”

“Hey, brother.” Callum suppressed a smile; Ty had an easy-going way about him that his older brother, Sam, didn’t and it showed, even in the simple greeting. There was a scuffling noise and then the sound cleared. “What can I do for you?”

“I need your advice. Or maybe your wife’s advice.”

“Clara? She’s up at the house. I can get her to call you. What’s it about?”

“I need a hand and thought she could recommend someone.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I need someone to help me clean out this pigsty. I can’t afford anyone really expensive…”

Ty’s laugh came over the line. “You’re calling for a maid.”

“Just temporarily. To help me get caught up.”

“You should talk to Angela. She might have someone at the women’s shelter who’s looking for a job or even just a few extra hours somewhere. If that’d be okay, I’ll pass the info along.”

“That’d be fine. And the sooner the better.”

“Any particular reason?”

He thought of Avery looking down her nose at the state of his living room, then pictured her clear blue eyes as they’d stared into his this morning. “Uh, not really. Just needs to be done, and I don’t have the time to do it.”

“Nothing to do with the woman you were seen with in town this morning, then?”

This was exactly why he’d wanted to talk privately instead of on a bench in the middle of Main Street. “Honestly, you’re a worse gossip than the women.”

Ty’s laugh echoed in his ear. “No gossip. I passed you on my way to the hardware store, but you were talking and didn’t notice. But you’re awfully sensitive about it…”

The teasing note in Ty’s voice reminded Callum of what it was like to have friends, and the thought sent a spear of pain through him. “If you could pass on the request, that’d be great.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. No problem. Got that load of hay for you here, too, whenever you’re ready. We can deliver it on the weekend if you like.”

“Thanks, that’d be great. Gotta run.”

He hung up and wiped his hand over his face. Tyson reminded him of Pete, and maybe a little of Matt and the others. Always good for a laugh or a favor.

Except they weren’t anymore. Callum’s fingers tightened on the edge of the table. They’d all followed their orders—all except Callum. He’d been sleeping off a night of drunkenness in the brig. Because of it, the section had gone out without him. When the IED went off, he’d been safe and sound. They hadn’t, and he’d had to live with that ever since.

On Friday morning Avery splurged on a long-distance call to her boss, Denise. Working at The Icing On Top was a dream job, and she wanted to reassure Denise that she’d be back to work as planned in a few days. Denise had been incredibly sympathetic to Avery’s situation, giving her whatever time she needed after Crystal’s death. Instead of applying for parental leave and trying to make do on a reduced salary, Denise had even allowed Avery to bring Nell to work at the bakery. Once Nell was older, Avery knew she would have to put her in day care, but for now, during these first precious months, Avery was able to keep Nell with her. She was getting quite good at decorating with the baby in the Snugli carrier, and she kept the playpen in the back office and a baby monitor in the bakery kitchen. When the time came for Denise to expand, Avery wanted to be first in line to manage the new location.

She owed Denise a lot, and the last thing she wanted to do was take her generosity for granted. She wanted to reassure Denise that she’d be back to work first thing after her return.

Denise’s voice sounded stressed on the other end of the line as she finally answered on the sixth ring. “Hey, I was going to call you today,” she said.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not wrong, per se. Just…you don’t have to hurry back this week after all. The bakery’s going to be closed for a few weeks for repairs.”

“Repairs? What happened?” Avery sat heavily on the bed as she counted the missed wages in her mind.

“A fire at the pizza place next door. We’re okay—just some damage to the front awning which is easily replaced. But the electrics are a mess and there’s a fair bit of water damage. There’s no way we can reopen until that’s taken care of.”

“Oh, Denise. I’m so sorry.” She knew what having to close would do to a bottom line.

“I know. But that’s what insurance is for.” Denise paused. “How are things going, anyway?”

“I really don’t know.” Avery sighed. “Callum is very different from the guy I remember, and he’s not too keen on Nell. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days. We’re going for a paternity test in a few minutes.”

“Well, that’s sort of what you wanted, right? Full custody without a bunch of drama?” Denise’s voice was hopeful. God bless her, Denise always tried to look on the bright side.

Avery shrugged even though Denise wasn’t there to see her. “I don’t really know what I want. I want Nell to know her father like I never did, but I want to have her all to myself, too. Trying to figure out how to have it both ways is proving a challenge.”

“Well, if anyone can do it, you can. You remember that. You’re way stronger than you think. Not everyone could have stepped in and done what you’ve done the last few months. Keep your chin up and I’ll be in touch when I know more about a reopening date.”

“Will do. And thanks,” she added warmly. “For everything.”

“I know, I know. Boss of the year.”

Avery could picture Denise’s crooked smile. “Decade. Century, even.”

After they hung up Avery let out a big breath. She was still trying to process the news when Callum’s truck pulled up outside the bed-and-breakfast. Nerves churned in Avery’s tummy. She hurried to grab the carrier and diaper bag so he didn’t have to wait. When he met them on the walkway below the veranda, he hesitated only for a moment before turning and heading back to where his vehicle was parked.

Still avoiding any eye or physical contact, then. She didn’t know why they were both so tense. It was just a swab test. No results would be had for at least a week. And she was in no doubt of the results, after all. Crystal might have kept secrets, but she wouldn’t have lied to Avery about that.

Avery carried the car seat to the waiting vehicle, a crew cab half-ton built for function but without a lot of bells and whistles. Once the belt was fastened securely, she stepped up into the front seat. “This thing is huge.”

“It does the job,” he replied, starting the engine. Avery felt weird sitting there with him, enclosed in the cab with no escape, with the scent of his aftershave filling the air. It was just her dumb luck that she’d thought him handsome from the beginning. It made her feel awkward, and she hoped he didn’t pick up on it. How embarrassing.

Thankfully it only took a few minutes to get to the small, neat building that housed the doctor’s office. Callum hopped out and then came around the truck and opened her door before she even got the diaper bag over her shoulder.

He let her carry the car seat with Nell in it. She bit down on her lip. To her recollection, he’d never called Nell by name, always referring to her as “the baby.”

And not once had he touched her or bothered to pick her up.

Today, Avery realized as she stepped through the door he held open, was truly a formality. Because Callum was definitely no father.

Callum’s heart wouldn’t settle down from the weird pattering that pressed against his chest. This was stupid. It was a simple test. A mouth swab and it was all over. Results in a few days that would prove…

He clenched his jaw as Avery passed by him, her light floral scent teasing his nostrils. He didn’t seem to remember her being this headstrong. She’d been a bit of a wallflower at the wedding. But the woman with him today was tough and determined. And beautiful. Her skin practically glowed and he noticed a few freckles dotting her nose, making her seem younger than he knew she must be. And when she smiled at the receptionist and announced their arrival, he caught his breath.

Her hair was back in a ponytail, but a few pale strands had come loose and framed her face. She looked pretty in a natural sort of way. So unlike her sister, who’d been fond of bright colors and painted nails and flawless makeup. There wasn’t a man alive who wouldn’t have had his head turned by Crystal Spencer. She was a knockout.

Past tense, he reminded himself as he stood beside Avery. And Avery was as different from her sister as night and day. Oh, there was a resemblance he could see now, in the tilt of her nose and the shape of her eyes. But there was something different about her, something easier. Simpler. Crystal had been a bombshell, but Avery was the girl next door.

In her own very natural way, Avery Spencer was stunning.

He was still reeling from that realization when they sat to wait in the quiet waiting room. Callum closed his eyes briefly. Confidentiality be damned; before the day was out people would know he’d been here with a woman and a baby. Even if they knew nothing about the paternity test, assumptions would start. Things had a way of spreading through a small town like wildfire.

He looked over at Nell, who was sitting on Avery’s lap happily shaking a rattle shaped like a giraffe. His throat tightened. Deep down he knew what today’s test was going to say. He had seen it first in the hair, but then he’d dug out an old family picture. His first impressions were correct. The resemblance was there, especially to his little sister, Taylor.

Nell was a Shepard through and through. His daughter. The very thought was enough to send his stomach plummeting to his feet. What on earth was he going to do with a kid?

This whole thing opened up too many old wounds. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jane and the baby she’d had. Not to mention the fact that she’d lied so easily to his face for weeks before breaking his heart.

Dr. Lazowski called them in and the three of them entered the exam room together. No questions asked, just the quick procedure and they were done. “I’ll send this off to the lab immediately,” he said, writing in a chart. “And the results?”

“To my mailing address,” Callum said tightly.

“And to mine.” Avery stepped forward and gave him her address in Ontario. Suddenly Callum realized that this meant she was really leaving. And taking Nell with her. Just like that it was done. He wasn’t even used to the idea of them being around and they would be out of his life.

“Thanks, Dr. Lazowski,” Callum said, and they were back out in the waiting room again. It almost seemed like it had never happened. Nothing felt different, except knowing that now it was over, Avery and Nell would be flying back home in a few hours to wait for the results.

What was he going to do when they came back positive? Because he was sure they were going to. He’d been trying to come to grips with it over the last few days. He had a daughter. A child—something he’d never thought would happen. Not after everything in his past. Not after Jane and definitely not after what had happened overseas.

They got back in the truck and Callum paused. “Did you want to grab some lunch?”

Avery shook her head. “Our flight leaves in a few hours, and I have to take my rental car back. I’ll just get something at the airport.”

He deserved that; he’d turned down her offer the other day, after all. “That’s fine, then.”

He refused to look at her, or over his shoulder at Nell. It was probably just as well. Even if Nell was his—which he was now very certain she was—he had no business trying to be a full-time father. She belonged with Avery. And Avery’s life was across the country, in her trendy apartment working in her trendy bakery while his whole savings—and a sizable loan—sat right here on his farm.

She insisted she didn’t want financial support and he wasn’t making a lot of money, but he would help out. It would be bad enough being an absentee dad, but no one was going to accuse him of being a deadbeat.

It was the very least his conscience demanded. So why did he feel like he was taking the easy way out?

Back at the inn he’d barely shut off the ignition when she was out of the truck and opening the side door to get Nell. She’d clearly planned ahead because she went inside and came right back out rolling her suitcase and carrying the packed-up playpen. The umbrella stroller was snapped up and stowed in the trunk of her car in no time flat and there was nothing more to do than say goodbye.

It was not how he’d envisioned this morning going. Not with her so…cold. He didn’t quite know what he’d done to set her off, but she wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

She turned to face him and pasted on a smile so fake it looked plastic. “I’ll be in touch after we get the results.”

“Right. You’ve got everything?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t need…” He didn’t know how to finish the question. What was he trying to ask? Why was this so hard? He should be relieved that things were going back to normal, so why was he drawing the moment out rather than just opening the damn door for her?

“I don’t need anything from you, Callum.”

Well. That was clear, and a common enough refrain when all was said and done. Feeling helpless, he reached down and opened her car door, watched as she buckled Nell’s seat into place. He swallowed, staring down at the tiny face with the innocently blinking eyes. He slid his gaze to Avery, who refused to look at him but slid behind the wheel. When he hesitated shutting the door, she finally looked up.

“It’s time to go,” she said, a tad bit impatiently. The tone rode on his nerves.

“Did I do something this morning? Something to make you rush off like this?” He didn’t like leaving things on a sour note. Not when they were going to have to stay in touch for…

For years to come. Years. They would always be connected by Nell.

“Not at all,” she answered. “This morning just reminded me of our positions in this whole thing. There’s simply no sense prolonging things, don’t you agree?”

No, dammit, he didn’t agree, but couldn’t say so without getting in over his head.

“Drive carefully,” he said finally, and shut the door while she started the engine.

He watched her car go out the driveway and turn onto the dirt lane that connected to the paved road. It felt wrong watching her drive away like that, but what else was he supposed to do? She wanted nothing to do with him. Oh, perhaps she’d been curious, just like him. He hadn’t imagined the way her eyes had snapped to his now and again, or the color that rose in her cheeks when he was around. She’d blushed that morning on the park bench.

But a little curiosity was a far cry from working together to raise a kid, wasn’t it?

If she’d wanted full custody, she could have just let things stand and he never would have known the difference. Instead she’d come to find him, determined that he—and her niece—deserved to know each other.

He had to admire that. Except Miss Spencer gave him the impression that she always did the right thing, and that was a damned hard example for a flawed human being to follow.

Restless, he turned back to his truck and noticed the back door wasn’t quite latched. He went to close it and when he looked in the window he saw the small stuffed giraffe. He reached in and picked it up. The fabric was soft and it made a jingling nose as he turned it over in his hand.

The scent of baby powder and soap still clung to the interior of the truck.

His kid. And he hadn’t even held her in his arms, not once. He recalled Jane’s voice explaining why she couldn’t go through with the wedding. That the baby she carried wasn’t really his; that she couldn’t marry a man who would never be there for their family. And he heard his own voice, explaining in no uncertain terms to Crystal last spring that he wasn’t interested in a wife and kids, when the truth was a family of his own had been all he wanted until Jane walked away, taking his dreams with her.

And then he’d gotten Crystal pregnant. And now, when faced with his biggest mistake, he was the one walking away. Perhaps Avery was the one driving, but he’d done nothing to stop her.

What kind of man was he?

An idiot, that’s what.

Before he could change his mind, he shoved the giraffe in his pocket and hopped up into the cab of his truck to go after her.