Читать книгу Instant Family - Donna Gartshore - Страница 12

Chapter Three

“Not long,” Ben said. He knew she didn’t want to be seen as incompetent “I heard a noise and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”

Ben looked at her, looked at the raging fire and back at her again. His mouth twitched as he tried to suppress a grin.

“I can see that,” he said with mock seriousness.

“Are you laughing at me?” She still looked upset, but he could tell that she was also starting to see the humor in the situation.

“I would never do that,” Ben said in an overly solemn tone, placing his hand on his heart with a dramatic gesture.

Rae giggled heartily, and they both turned to look at her.

Frankie’s face was wreathed in pleased surprise. “I haven’t heard that sound for a while,” she admitted, and then snapped her mouth shut as if to keep herself from revealing more.

“Mom, can he please just start the fire for us?” Rae begged. “I’m totally starving and then we could probably eat in, like, ten minutes.”

“Your daughter’s pretty smart,” Ben said. “She makes a lot of sense for—an eight-year-old?” he guessed.

“I’m ten,” Rae corrected him, fixing him with a flat look that made him chuckle again. It was abundantly clear what she thought of his age-guessing abilities.

“Now what’s funny?” Frankie asked.

“Nothing... It’s just that her expression reminded me very much of you.”

“How can you say that when you don’t even know me,” Frankie retorted.

Oh, but somehow he felt like he did, Ben thought. And he didn’t want to because he didn’t need his life to get more complicated.

He clapped his hands together, briskly, and said, “How about it? I could show you how to manage this temperamental beast now, and next time it’s all you.”

“Well, I guess so,” Frankie agreed reluctantly. “But then you and your dad must join us for supper because you’ve already done enough for us. That is, if you haven’t already eaten.”

“We just started eating,” Ben said. He did a quick check over his shoulder at Al, who was flattening his eggs with his fork, but still in his chair.

“Well...” Frankie hesitated.

“Mom!” demanded Rae.

“Listen to your daughter,” Ben urged.

A few minutes later, he had the flames licking and spitting at a reasonable rate, having been careful to explain to Frankie what he had done.

Ben felt inordinately pleased when Frankie quickly mastered the fire as he had shown her, and cautioned himself not to get too involved.

* * *

Within a few weeks at Silver Lake, Frankie and Rae had fallen into a comfortable rhythm, the kind that Frankie had almost forgotten could exist since everything at home reminded her of what they had lost. Here, in this new setting, she found that looking ahead, rather than back, was starting to feel more natural.

Early in the morning, Frankie took her coffee out onto the deck while Rae was still sleeping and enjoyed the way the day quietly unfolded before more people began to stir. She loved the smell of the pine from the trees and the fresh wind off the lake. Occasionally, a smattering of other early risers passed by, with morning newspapers under their arms, as they headed down to get coffee and sit at the tables in front of the Beachfront Confectionery and bakeshop. They waved and smiled in greeting, and Frankie waved and smiled back.

Previously, the early mornings and the peaceful setting would have been an opportune time to do a morning devotional, but she knew it would take more time for her to make progress in that area.

She was grateful that, slowly but surely, her daughter was taking steps out of the cave she had created for herself. She loved the beach and the Nature Center and going for ice cream. Rae had started to make observations again, with her artist’s eye, commenting on colors and the proximity of shapes and textures—solid rocks at the edge of the ever-changing water; mossy grass swallowing up the bark-rough base of a tree—and Frankie dared to hope that a full-fledged return to her art was imminent.

But Rae was also, in Frankie’s opinion, just a little too fond of wanting to know what Ben and Al were doing. It was a frequent reminder to Frankie that she wasn’t nearly as oblivious to her summer neighbor as she wanted to be—as she needed to be.

She’d have to be blind not to notice how good-looking Ben was with those dark blue eyes that provided such great contrast to the wheat and sunshine of his hair. But she wasn’t going to think about that.

She also wasn’t going to think about his rugged chin or the funny expression he got when he was trying not to laugh.

The screen door of the cabin banged and startled her.

“What time is it?” Rae asked, poking her head out of the door.

“It’s early, Sweet Pea, really early. What are you doing up?”

Frankie looked affectionately at her daughter, wearing her SpongeBob pajamas, her hair a fuzzy cloud around her face.

“I’m excited for today.”

“Today?” Frankie teased, “Hmm, what’s today?”

“Mom!”

Frankie winked at her and reached out an arm to pull her in for a little side hug.

“I know. But you’ll have to be excited for a little while longer. The Nature Center doesn’t even open for a couple more hours. You’ll have to find something to keep you busy until then.”

The day before, when they had visited the Nature Center, there was a sign advertising that anyone interested could go there to learn about how the displays were put together and then how to make displays of their own.

It had warmed Frankie’s heart to see Rae’s enthusiasm. Maybe it was true, she mused, that there was something healing about the lake. Did she dare to hope that it could do the same for her? If she could be satisfied that Rae was back to her ardent, artistic self, would Frankie then feel free to unearth the dreams in her own heart?

Rae bounced up and down a little. “Can I have something for breakfast?”

“If you’re hungry, you know where the cereal and milk are, or there’s toast.”

Her daughter wrinkled her snub nose. “That’s boring.”

“Well, it’s what we’ve got.” Frankie gave her one more squeeze and stood up to stretch and take her coffee cup in for a refill.

“What time do you think Ben and Al will get up?” Rae looked in the direction of their cabin.

The cleaning crews had done their best and the side of the cabin looked much better than it had, but a gray dinginess still lurked as a reminder under the fresh paint. There also continued to be graffiti that showed up randomly on other cabins and buildings. No one knew who the culprit or culprits were, or if they did, they weren’t saying. Frankie wondered if Ben was right about the rich parents and their children who had too much time to get into trouble. She didn’t like the way it hummed like an out-of-tune buzzing underneath the harmony of the summer days.

“Mom!” Rae tugged her hand, letting her know she hadn’t been listening.

Oh yes, Ben and Al...again.

Frankie was going to try this one more time. “Look, Sweet Pea, I think that Ben and his dad probably want some quiet time to enjoy the summer. Remember that Al is sick.”

“He doesn’t look sick.”

“Well, it isn’t the kind of sick that you can always see.” Frankie tried to think of a way to explain. “I told you that Al has Alzheimer’s disease.”

Rae shifted from one foot to the other. “Is that when people forget stuff?”

“Well, that’s mostly what people think of when they hear about Alzheimer’s, and that does happen. It’s kind of like when you have all the pieces of a puzzle and you just can’t think of how to make them fit together. Al might recognize a lot of the things around him but when he tries to put it into a whole picture it doesn’t make sense to him, and that’s why he gets upset sometimes.”

“Because he’s scared?” Rae asked very softly.

“Yes, Sweet Pea, that’s exactly right.”

After a few seconds of silence Rae asked, “Will Nana and Pops get it?”

Frankie thought of her parents. They were probably up early, too, and working in their garden. They were both healthy, but one never knew for sure. Ben had said he’d thought his father would be the last person to suffer from it.

“I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about today,” she said. “Now, why don’t you go get your breakfast and pick out the clothes you’re going to wear.”

Frankie followed Rae inside and decided to forgo another cup of coffee and have a glass of water instead. After she made sure that Rae had what she needed, she went back onto the deck, taking the morning newspaper with the hope of absorbing herself in the crossword puzzle.

Outside she saw Ben across the way on their deck and she considered dashing back inside again before he spotted her. But it was too late. He lifted his coffee mug in a kind of salute. Then he pointed at himself and at her, with his eyebrows raised in a question, asking if he could join her.

Frankie groaned under her breath. Naturally, she thought wryly, first thing in the morning and he had to look like a male model advertising the virtues of the great outdoors. She didn’t even want to think of what she must look like to him with her bedhead hair and her grubby lounge wear. She wished she could say no and go back inside, but she couldn’t think of a way to do it now without it being rude.

* * *

Ben had purposely got up early to get some quiet time in before his day was taken over by his father’s constant needs. When he spotted Frankie on her own deck, he guessed that she, too, must need the quiet. He could only imagine that single-mom duties could easily overtake her day, as well. But the next thing he knew, he was asking to join her, almost as if he had no will of his own. Or was he just using her as a pleasant distraction from the regrets that almost constantly haunted him?

“Ah, the morning crossword puzzle,” Ben said. He spotted the pencil in her hand. “Not brave enough to do it in ink?” he teased her.

She fixed him with what he’d already begun to think of as “the Frankie face” and said, deadpan, “I don’t want to show off.”

Ben made himself at home in the other chair and took a sip of his coffee.

“Is Rae still asleep?”

“No, she’s inside having breakfast and getting ready. I wish she had slept in a bit later,” Frankie confessed. “I signed her up for those classes at the Nature Center and she’s pretty excited about it.”

Ben nodded his acknowledgment. From Frankie’s expression, it was evident that she was happy Rae had something to look forward to.

“Dad used to love crossword puzzles,” he mused. “He was really good at them, too.”

“You said he was a minister?” Frankie asked. “Have you followed in his footsteps?”

“No.” Ben shook his head. Many things rushed through his mind that he could offer as a way of explanation, but he decided to stick with the basic facts. “I’m a general contractor, but I did want to do something worthwhile, so I’ve been on a few mission trips to help with construction and repairs. I also did a bit of work with literacy programs. It was great sharing Jesus with people in a way that felt natural to me.”

Frankie didn’t say anything, and after a moment she looked down at her crossword puzzle. “What’s a five-letter word for angry?”

The deliberate change in conversation didn’t slip by Ben. Tread carefully, he reminded himself, for his own sake as well as hers. He was curious about her faith and sensed that it was a struggle for her, but he had his own struggles. A Christian upbringing didn’t mean faith was always easy. Sometimes, he thought, it actually made it more difficult.

Ben returned his thoughts to the question. “What does it start with?” he asked.

“I”

“Irate?”

Frankie considered it. “Yes, that works.” She wrote the word in carefully.

“So, Rae likes the Nature Center,” Ben said. “How do you plan to keep yourself busy for the next couple of months?”

It was hard, he mused, to make casual conversation when the thought of how appealing she looked floated up like a ginger ale bubble in him.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. In the morning light, the color looked like a sunrise.

“I like to walk and look at things,” Frankie told him. “I enjoy sitting down by the water to watch the waves and think.”

He had the distinct impression that she had much more planned than that, but her expression was closed, not allowing further questions.

“My mom was a schoolteacher,” he shared, sensing it would be better to talk about other things. “What about your parents? Are they both...?”

“Alive, yes,” she said. “And, thankfully, they’re healthy, too. We all live in Regina. It’s about a six-hour drive from here.”

“We’re from Saskatoon,” Ben said. “Is this your first time here at the lake?”

Frankie nodded. “I’d heard good things about it. I figured it sounded like a perfect place for us to...” Ben could almost see her swallowing a word. “For us to have fun,” she finished.

Ben gave a rueful chuckle. “I guess I’m hoping that something here will still be meaningful to Dad. I’m quite certain this will be our last trip here together.” It surprised him that he had said the words out loud, but somehow having them fall on other ears took away a trace of the sting in his throat.

They sat in silence for a moment. Frankie put down her pencil. Through the window screen, they could hear Rae humming to herself.

“She likes it here,” Frankie said with a smile that softened her face.

“You’re a good mom,” Ben said. He felt those words were inadequate, but it was the best he could come up with.

“Thank you. I try.”

Frankie studied her hands, then set her gaze directly on him.

“I do my best. It hasn’t been easy for us on our own.” She lifted her chin and her expression told Ben that she wasn’t providing any more details—not now and maybe not ever.

He wanted to let her know in some way that he understood. Oh, he definitely understood what it meant to step into a void you weren’t at all confident you could fill.

“I feel that way about Dad sometimes,” he admitted. “I don’t know how many times a day I just wish I had someone to compare notes with. I mean, there are support groups and all but...”

Frankie nodded in agreement.

“Will your dad be okay with you over here?”

“He was sound asleep when I left, but I should go check on him soon. Frankie?”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if it would be okay if we walked to the Nature Center with you and Rae. Dad’s usually better about eating his breakfast if he gets a walk first.”

He could see her hesitate slightly. Then she spoke.

“That’s fine. I’m sure Rae would like that.”

* * *

I like this blouse, Frankie told herself as she got dressed. She’d wear it anyway. It had nothing to do with the fact that she always got compliments about how well the color suited her. It had nothing to do with her wanting Ben to know she could look much better than she had this morning.

Rae had been ready to go for half an hour at least and was bouncing around, making her braids swing. Her glasses slid down her nose and she pushed them back up.

“Can I go outside and see if Ben and Al are ready to go?” she asked. As Frankie had anticipated, she was happy to have them along.

“You’re like a jumping bean,” Frankie teased. “Go ahead. I’ll be out soon.”

She glanced at her reflection in the small mirror on one of the walls, fluffed her hair a bit, added some lip gloss and decided she looked okay.

When Ben greeted her, she thought she saw a light of admiration in his eyes. Yet, her stomach sifted in confusion. She couldn’t explain to herself why she wanted him to admire her.

“C’mon! C’mon!” Al demanded.

“Let’s go!” Rae agreed.

Frankie caught Ben’s look and they shared a quiet smile over the similar restlessness of his aging father and her young daughter.

As they walked to the Nature Center, Frankie breathed the fresh pine-filled air, and enjoyed the sights and sounds of people ready to make the most of the day.

I feel happy. The thought entered her mind cautiously, not sure of its welcome. It was more than just being a mother who was happy because her daughter was: it was the beginning of her own personal happiness that came with finally starting to believe that the worst was over.

“Mom, what’s that?” Rae pointed as they neared the Nature Center.

Frankie looked and the thought of being happy skittered away.

“What in the world...?” Ben quickened his pace.

A group of people stood by the entrance of the center and milled about, talking loudly and asking one another questions that could not be answered.

The door was barred shut and the building had been brutalized with wild streaks of red and black. Most chilling of all was the proclamation painted across the side—I HATE EVERYBODY!

Frankie felt Ben grab her hand. She looked quickly at his face and saw that it had been an unthinking gesture.

“It’s getting worse,” he said.