Читать книгу Joy for Mourning - Dorothy Clark - Страница 11

The children! She had to help them! Laina flopped onto her back as the children floated at her out of the darkness. Her arms flailed out into space, her hands grasping at the air. There were too many—she couldn’t catch them all.

“Somebody help me!”

Laina jerked upright, her heart pounding. The dream was so real she swept her gaze around the surrounding shadows of the bedroom, half expecting to find children hiding in the dark corners where the moonlight from the windows didn’t reach. Of course, there was no one there. She gave her head a quick shake to rid herself of the residue of anxiety the dream had left behind. How odd that it kept coming back.

Laina sighed and climbed out of bed, pulling on her new peacock-blue dressing gown as she walked to the window. Was her desire for children becoming an obsession? She’d heard of women’s minds going queer over such things.

A shiver raced down her spine. Laina wrapped her arms about herself and stared out into the night. Being around Sarah, Mary and baby James these past few weeks hadn’t eased her longing for children as she had expected—it had increased it. And watching Justin and Elizabeth together made her ache with a desire to experience a love such as theirs.

Laina clenched her hands into fists and glared up at the night sky. “If You’re an all-powerful God, You could have answered my prayers, Lord. You could have given me children and a love like Justin and Elizabeth’s. Instead You took Stanford from me.” Hot tears stung her eyes. “At least with Stanford I had companionship. Now I’m alone. I have nothing!”

The tears overflowed and poured down her cheeks. Laina spun away from the window, her chest so tight with hurt she couldn’t breathe. She swiped the tears from her cheeks and forced air into her lungs. Very well. If that was the way God wanted it, so be it! She would live her life alone.

“What a gorgeous April day!” Elizabeth spread her arms and twirled around in the sunshine. “We have come to the end of the cold, gray days of winter, Laina.”

“One can hope.”

“Now, that’s a gloomy remark.” Elizabeth shot her one of those assessing looks.

Laina cringed inwardly. She hadn’t meant to let her dismal outlook slip through her cheery facade. “Pay me no mind, Elizabeth. I’m tired.”

The question in Elizabeth’s eyes turned to concern. “Are you still not sleeping well?”

Should she tell her about the dream? No. It would serve no purpose. Laina shook her head and walked toward the pavilion being cleaned by the servants in preparation for summer. “Better…but not well.”

“I wish there was something we could do.”

“So do I, Elizabeth—fervently so!” Laina forced a smile to mask the need in her words. She hated herself for feeling so helpless. “But there is nothing beyond the love and comfort you and Justin have extended by sharing your home, your children and your lives with me. You’ve been wonderful.” She sucked in a deep breath and forced out the words she didn’t want to speak. “Unfortunately, my life is what it is—and I must learn to live it. I’m going back to New York.”

“New York?” Elizabeth grasped her arm. “But Laina, dear, why? It’s only been a few weeks and we love having you with us. The children—”

“I shall miss them dreadfully! And you and Justin, as well.” Tears smarted in Laina’s eyes. She blinked them away.

“Then don’t go. Stay with us. Please.”

Laina shook her head. “I have to go back.”

“Why? What awaits you in New York?”

Justin’s deep voice made them both jump and spin to face him. Laina’s throat constricted. “Nothing, dearheart.”

“Then why…?”

“Because of that!”

Justin’s gaze traveled in the direction of Laina’s pointing finger. “I don’t understand.”

“I believe it’s the new growth, Justin.” Elizabeth indicated the tiny tips of folded green leaves that were breaking through the cold brown soil of the garden beds.

Justin frowned. “Is that it, Laina? The flowers? I don’t understand.” He took her by the arm and led her to the bench beside the path. “Now tell me, what have flowers to do with you going back to New York?”

Laina squared her shoulders and cleared her throat of the lump that was threatening to choke her. “The flowers are starting to live again. Look around you, Justin. Everything is coming to life again—new life after a cold, dark winter. I have to do the same.” She took a deep breath and turned her head to look at him. “Don’t you see, dearheart, I can’t borrow your life any longer. No matter how painful it is, I have to live mine.”

Justin sucked in a deep breath, squeezed her hands so tightly she thought her bones would break, then jumped to his feet and began to pace along the brick walk. Laina’s heart hurt for him. It was another reason to go back to New York—she had brought him pain. She took refuge from all the hurt in anger. Do what You please to me, Lord, but spare my brother any anguish over my situation. He trusts You.

“All right.”

She looked up as Justin spoke.

“All right, Laina, I’ll accept that.” He moved close to her. “But why must you live your life in New York? Why not here in Philadelphia, where you will be close to us?”

“Yes. Why not, Laina, dear?” Elizabeth took Justin’s place on the bench beside her. “Surely you can—”

“I’ve got it!” Justin slammed his fist into his other palm with such force the resulting crack of sound made Laina jump. He grinned down at her. “I have the solution.”

“Oh, dearheart, there isn’t a solu—”

“Twiggs Manor!” Justin’s grin widened. “I’ll give you Abigail’s house. That way, you can live your own life and be close to us at the same time.”

Laina stared at him.

“Justin, it’s perfect!” Elizabeth squeezed Laina’s hand. “You will do it, Laina, won’t you? You will come live in Twiggs Manor?”

“Well, I don’t know…it’s— I had thought of…” Laina shook her head. She was not making sense. She looked up at her brother.

He stared down at her. “Say yes, Lainy. It’s the right thing to do.”

There was absolute certainty in his face and voice. “All right—yes!”

Justin laughed and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Good! Everything’s going to be all right—heart’s promise.”

With his arms around her, she almost believed him.

A small thrill of excitement zipped through Thad as he glanced down at the letter in his hand. He hadn’t expected Dr. Bettencourt’s answer to his letter for at least another week. It must have come from Paris by packet. Probably on the ship that had sailed into port today. Fortunately for him, Justin Randolph’s captains were a courageous bunch who outsailed the captains of other lines and vied amongst themselves for the best crossing time.

Thad tucked the missive into his waistcoat pocket, climbed into his buggy and picked up the reins. He grinned as the gelding pricked his ears, listening for instructions. “Let’s go home, boy.” The horse moved forward at once.

Thad relaxed back against the seat to rest while he was able. He’d had a busy morning and, if past performance was any indication, he’d have a busy evening. Most of the sailors he’d come in contact with headed straight for the waterfront grog shops when released from their duties aboard ship. In a short time, the liquor they consumed turned them into drunk, boisterous men ready to fight at the slightest provocation. That’s where he came in. The sailors sober enough to walk would drag their hurt mates to his house and he would spend hours splinting broken bones, stitching and bandaging knife wounds and generally caring for the bruised and battered conditions of those still alive.

Thad sat up a little straighter and patted the letter in his pocket. At least he could try some of the new theories on the sailors. Justin Randolph was a progressive thinker who believed in Thad’s theories on cleanliness and fresh air in the sickroom. It was a shame Justin couldn’t convince his friends.

Thad sighed. What good did it do to correspond with the French doctors who were leading the way in practicing diagnostic medicine, when he couldn’t get his patients to allow him to try the new practices on them? Why couldn’t he make people believe that bleeding, cupping and blistering only made them weaker?

Movement caught his eye as the buggy approached Walnut Street. Thad frowned and glanced to his left. What was going on at Twiggs Manor? Servants were scrubbing the porch and front steps. Men were perched on ladders washing windows and cleaning the shutters. Had someone bought the place?

There was a flash of color. Thad craned his neck and looked toward the side entrance, but the large maple trees on the corner blocked his view. He caught a brief glimpse of a slender, dark-haired woman in a bright green dress descending the stairs and then he was across the intersection and the house was no longer visible.

Thad faced front again. He’d hear soon enough if he had a new neighbor. Right now, all he wanted was to get home and read his letter before someone came knocking on his door with some sort of emergency.

“Mrs. Barnes, Mrs. Brighton wants you in the parlor.”

“All right, Tilly.” Grace Barnes scanned the group of servants Tilly had joined in the drawing room. “Fitz, you and John carry these rugs outside and beat them clean. Tilly, dust and wax the furniture, then clean and polish the fireplace tools and fender. Sally, you clean the chandeliers.”

Grace Barnes placed her fisted hands on her hips and watched as the maid began climbing the ladder with flannel cleaning rags draped over her shoulder and a bucket dangling from her hand. “Did you add a good splash of vinegar to that water?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All right, then. When you’re through with the chandeliers, do the glass doors on the corner cabinets, then wash the windows.” Grace Barnes headed for the door, then turned back again. “When you’ve finished your tasks in here, move on to the library and do the same.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The chorus of assent followed the housekeeper as she hurried out the door, across the large entrance hall and into the parlor. “You wished to see me, madam?”

“Yes.” Laina looked up from the paper in her hand. “The servants from Randolph Court are here. I sent them upstairs. Please go assign them their tasks.”

“Yes, madam.”

“And have one of them gather all the bed curtains, linens, testers and window drapery and take them to the Chinese laundry downtown. With all we have to do, even with the loan of my brother’s servants, we shall be overwhelmed if we do not make use of the laundry’s services.”

“Yes, madam. I’ll attend to it immediately.” The housekeeper turned to go and almost bumped into Elizabeth. “Good day, Mrs. Randolph.” She stepped aside to let Elizabeth pass, then hurried from the room.

“Elizabeth! I wasn’t expecting you to come over.” Laina smiled. “This must mean Sarah is feeling better.”

“Yes, she’s fine. I suspect her stomach upset was caused by too much candy.” Elizabeth shook her head and smiled. “And I’m certain I know the culprit. I shall have a talk with Justin tonight.” She laughed and looked around.

“How wonderful to see this room restored.” Elizabeth brushed her hand over the blue silk brocade fabric covering a couch placed at a right angle to the paneled wall graced by a marble fireplace at its center. The couch faced a pair of chairs with padded seats covered in blue, magenta and cream stripes. There was a piecrust tea table between the chairs. “I like the way you’ve placed the furniture. It’s very inviting.”

“Thank you. Would you care to sit down?” Laina laughed and looked about. “I’m afraid this is the only room at the moment where that is possible. And my abilities as a hostess are severely limited.” She gave Elizabeth a wry look. “I can offer you a cup of tea.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Don’t fuss, Laina. I didn’t come to be entertained. I came to see if there is anything more we can do to help. And to see the progress you’re making. I love this house. It’s exciting to watch it coming to life again.”

“Then would you care to join me on a short tour? I was about to take one myself.” Laina smiled. “If I’m to take Abigail’s place as the head of Philadelphia society everything must be perfect.” She led the way out into the entrance hall, turned right and walked a short way to the dining room. “Oh, they’ve finished!” She stepped through the doorway, then stopped at Elizabeth’s gasp.

“You’ve had it painted!”

“Yes. I love—”

“Color!”

Elizabeth finished the sentence for her, and both women burst into laughter.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful!” Elizabeth glanced from the tureen with Grecian figures and vine border sitting on the sideboard to the alcoves flanking the marble fireplace centered in a paneled wall. “The cranberry-colored alcoves are truly striking against the green of the paneling, Laina. And they match the color on your dishes perfectly.”

“Yes. It’s exactly what I wanted.” No. It would never be what she really wanted. Laina shoved the thought away and ran her hand along the edge of the large dining table. “I shall have lovely dinner parties here, just as Abigail did.” She looked at Elizabeth and smiled. “Shall we go on to the morning room?” She turned and led the way out the door.

“Sunshine walls and window shutters the color of spring leaves. It looks like summer!” Elizabeth stepped into the smaller room and turned in a slow circle. “What a lovely room to breakfast in on a cold, gray winter’s day. It would be impossible to be gloomy in this room.”

“I pray you’re right, for that was my intent.”

“Is there something you wish, Mrs. Brighton?”

Laina turned to face Beaumont, who was standing in the doorway of the butler’s pantry across the hall. “No, nothing.”

Her voice sounded flat and emotionless. She forced a smile and turned back to Elizabeth. “Would you like to see the music room and ballroom? They’ve finished painting them also.”

He was right! Cleanliness and fresh air in the sickroom were of great benefit. The tests run by Dr. Bettencourt and his associates continued to prove it. Excitement coursed through Thad. He read on. The theory of alcohol applied to wounds keeping infection at bay was proving out, as well. Hmm…

Thad folded the letter from Paris, placed it on the table beside the chair, then leaned back and plowed the fingers of both his hands through his thick, straight hair. The carefully groomed-down cowlick at his hairline sprang to life. He could feel the hair rise straight up at the roots, then flop over onto his forehead—the ends tickled the skin above his right eye. He brushed them back, to no avail.

Thad frowned and straightened in the chair. Alcohol. His eyes narrowed in speculation and his right knee began to jiggle up and down. If one could stop the infection in wounds…

He had to find a way to convince his fellow physicians at the Pennsylvania Hospital to try the new procedures. He simply had to. And what more could he do to convince his patients to let him try the unconventional methods of treatment? He’d explained, urged, cajoled and plain out begged, and still they clung to the old beliefs.

Thad jumped to his feet as someone thudded a fist against his front door.

“Doc? Open the door, Doc!” The slurred words were accompanied by more thudding. Thad pulled his watch from his pocket. They were starting early tonight. He flipped the rug in his small entrance back out of harm’s way and opened the door.

“Ya gotta help me mate, Doc. He got stuck.”

A tall, thin sailor stood on the stoop squinting at Thad through the blood streaming from a jagged cut over his right eye. He was supporting a burly man nearly twice his size by holding the man’s beefy arm across his shoulders. The bloodstain on the wounded man’s shirt was spreading.

“Bring him in.” Thad motioned for the sailor to follow, walked into his office and stepped over to the table he’d cleaned earlier. “Put him here.”

The sailor propped his semiconscious mate between himself and the table, then bent and hefted him up by placing his arms around the man’s knees.

“Ugh!” The wounded sailor’s eyes opened. He grabbed Thad’s arm and gave him a bleary-eyed glare. “Need a drink.”

Alcohol! Thad’s pulse picked up speed. “You need a good dose of common sense. Release my arm or you’ll get no help from me.” He waited till the drunken sailor complied, then lifted the blood-soaked shirt and stared at the deep slit just below the man’s rib cage. He frowned, picked up the two lengths of rope draped over a nearby chair and tossed them to the seaman standing on the other side of the table.

“Tie his hands together under the table and bind his feet to the legs.” Heart racing, Thad pulled the whiskey he used to help deaden pain from his doctor’s bag, splashed some into a small bowl, then pulled a coil of suturing thread from his bag and dropped it into the bowl. A needle followed. He glanced at the sailor trussing his mate like a slain deer. “Tie him snug, mind you. If he moves he could do himself serious harm.”

“Ain’t gonna move. Been sewed up before.” The sailor muttered the words without opening his eyes.

“It’s not the sewing. I’m going to apply whiskey to your wound. Are you ready?” Thad positioned the bottle over the wound.

“No.” The sailor opened one eye. ’S a waste o’ whiskey, Doc. Lemme drink it ’stead. Arrrgh!” The seaman’s body went rigid as the whiskey hit the raw flesh. His head slumped to one side.

Thad stared down at the unconscious man. Seamen were a tough lot. Whiskey poured into a wound must hurt more than he thought it would. It was something to remember. He filed the knowledge away and picked up the needle. There was a thumping at the door. He glanced over at the sailor slumped on the settle against the wall. “Open the door, please, before they break it down.”

Thad glanced up from his sewing as the sailor returned with two other seamen in tow. One of them had a broken arm dangling uselessly at his side, and the other had a deep gash on his face and was missing part of an ear. He frowned and went back to his stitching. It was going to be a long and profitable night.

“Well, tomorrow you move into your new home, Laina.” Justin glanced over, met his sister’s gaze and smiled. “And tomorrow night you can walk in your own gardens.”

“Yes.” Alone. Laina blocked the thought from her mind and returned his smile. “And soon after, I shall have a wonderful party in those gardens. Elizabeth is helping me with the invitation list, and Madame Duval is making me a beautiful gown for the occasion.” She stepped close, threaded her hand through his arm and looked up at him. “You will be very proud of me. It will be my first effort to take Abigail’s place as hostess extraordinaire of Philadelphia society.”

“Well, don’t take on her astringent personality. You are enough of a challenge to me as you are.”

Laina laughed and squeezed his arm. “Surely you’re not calling me difficult?”

Justin grinned down at her. “There is no safe answer to that question. I shall ignore it.” She wrinkled her nose at him. He laughed and patted her hand. “I have good news.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“I had a letter from Judge today. Your house in New York has sold. You received an excellent price for it.” He guided her to the left. “Since you’ve no immediate need of it, if you wish, I will invest the money for you.”

Laina nodded. “I think that is wise. Do you have an investment in mind?”

“No. There are several to consider before making a final decision.”

“I see.” She tipped her head back and looked up at him. “Would the new waterworks be one of them? I am so favorably impressed with the running water in the kitchen and dressing rooms at Twiggs Manor. Surely others would be as taken with the idea.” She frowned as Justin chuckled. “You find my thoughts amusing?”

He quieted and looked down at her. “No, indeed. I find them impressive. Very impressive. I didn’t know my older sister had such an astute business instinct.”

Laina stopped walking and studied his face. “Truly?”

“Yes, truly.” Justin started walking again. “One of my basic requirements for a good investment is that the product or service be one that people either need or want. The waterworks is both.”

“I see.” She gave him a saucy smile. “Let’s keep my business instincts a secret, shall we? I don’t want anything to tarnish my society-leader image. But I do want the money invested in the waterworks. And equal portions of it in the new railroad company and the new freight line I’ve heard you speak of.”

“Again, very wise investments. Expansion to the west is increasing in leaps and bounds.” Justin laughed and shook his head as they climbed the steps to the back porch. “You amaze me, Laina. It shall be as you wish. I am yours to command.”

“Thank you, dearheart. You take good care of me.”

He shot her a sidelong look. “I thought so, but now I’m not so certain.”

Laina gave him a pat on his cheek and walked through the door he held open for her.