Читать книгу Beyond Fear - Paula Nicolson, Dorothy Rowe, Dorothy Rowe - Страница 15

We cannot live without denying. We have to shut things out. We have to say to ourselves, ‘No, no, that’s not there. It didn’t happen. I’ll take no notice.’ If we did not do this we would be overwhelmed by the multitude of things going on around us and inside us.

We ignore the noise of the traffic outside our house while we concentrate on watching television. We ignore our sense of tiredness while we push on to finish an important task. We ignore our fear as we rush to save someone else from danger, and when we are commended for our bravery we say, ‘It was nothing. Anyone would have done the same.’

We all know that such denial is necessary in times of stress. By denying painful facts and emotions we become brave. However, such denial is just for a brief period of time. Later we can acknowledge the noise of the traffic, or our tiredness, or, in the privacy of our own home, feel the fear unfelt at the time of danger. Now our experience accords with reality and all is well.

On the other hand, if we do not do this, if we go on and on denying what is happening, then we start to get into difficulties because our experience accords less and less with reality. Denying the aggravating noise of the traffic, we might get angry with our children for being unruly because our denied thought is ‘I bought this house and I’m not going to admit I made a mistake’. Denying awareness of tiredness, we refuse to rest and so become ill, all because our rule for living is ‘It is my responsibility to see that my family are perfectly happy all the time’. Denying awareness of fear, we feel pain and breathlessness, suspect a faulty heart and await imminent death, but we tell ourselves, ‘My father would despise me as a coward if I admitted being afraid.’