Читать книгу The Power Within Me - Dr. Annice E. Fisher - Страница 5

On the outside, people see Amina as someone full of love and inspiration. She is everyone’s go-to girl and mentor. She’s always making time to care for and support her friends and family. Amina is also an avid social media scroller, constantly posting religious scriptures into her IG stories to motivate her growing number of followers. No one would think she has a deep internal struggle with believing the motivational mantras that she shares with others. Yet, Amina finds herself shying away from the bold dreams and revelations she’s received about her calling. Some of her inaction comes from online distractions and her habit of secretly competing with those on her Facebook timeline. Another part of her stagnation stems from the experience of being judged when she shared her hopes and dreams with family. Their judgement planted the seeds of doubt that turned into a forest full of trees by the time Amina turned 30. Perhaps one of the most detrimental seeds that grew was a practice of self-deception; she was secretly living one way, (in a lesser version of herself) and telling herself and others something different (putting on the mentor role for the outside world). Amina didn’t want her family to think she was “doing too much” or “trying to live a big life,” so she let the seeds grow. Her weight also grew along with the seeds from the use of food to suppress the nudges from her inner divinity, whispering the call to live as the highest version of herself. The more she ignored the whispers to live out those bold dreams, the more her weight became a see-saw of losing and gaining pounds.

Over time, Amina’s belief in herself became so low, that her only comfort came from food and being a mentor to others. Mentorship allowed her to deflect the focus from herself and show up as the self-sacrificing servant to others. Food was the one and only thing that made her feel full; it didn’t judge her, and she always felt good when she was around it. But Amina can’t even think about living any of her dreams to their full potential because the number on the scale has diminished her inner light. Because she got a high from mentoring people, Amina was able to convince herself that she could bypass digging deeper to understand how she ended up living as a lower version of herself. If she focused on others, she wouldn't have to explore the deeper reasons for her weight fluctuations, fears of judgment, and feelings about living from a place of doubt. Since Amina didn’t want anyone to see her sweat, she intensified her inspiration of others so people wouldn’t figure out her personal struggles. Now approaching 35, she’s tired of lacking internal peace, battling with her weight, and secretly feeling like an imposter. She’s ready to get unstuck. Amina woke up one day and decided, it’s time to let the real me out. This was her inner dialogue:

“I want to let out the part of me that’s dying to adopt a lifelong healthy lifestyle so I can live out my dreams as the highest version of self, the part of me that has a lot to offer the world but can’t because of my health concerns, the part of me that wants to prove to everyone that looks down on me because I’m overweight, that I can do it. I need to prove to myself that I can tackle this weight, that I can be who I want to be and live from the same light that I give to others. I am tired of the ups and downs. I want the stability of living as an authentic version of myself that is committed to a healthy lifestyle.”