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Dr. Robert Puff. Anger Work: How To Express Your Anger and Still Be Kind
Well-Spring Press. SECOND EDITION. All rights reserved, including the right of
Table of Contents:
What is Anger Work:
Who Needs Anger Work?
Those Who Know They’re Angry
People Who Don’t Feel Angry (but have issues from the past)
Those Who Have No Past Issues, But Want to Live to the Fullest
Things People Do Instead of Feeling Angry
Learning From Children
Anger and Sadness
Two Essential Keys To Successful Anger Work:
Key # 1: No Taking Out Your Anger on Yourself:
Key # 2: No Taking out Your Anger On Others:
A Special Note About Animals:
A Special Note on Substance Abuse:
Anger Work Methods:
Personalize Your Anger Work
Getting Ready To Do Anger Work
An Example of Anger-work Gone Wrong:
The Cost of Doing Anger Work
Consequences of Not Doing Anger Work
How Long?
Living a Lifestyle of Health
What to Do When You’ve Really Messed Up
Conclusion
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Anger Work
How To Express Your Anger
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One of my clients, Bob, reported to me that he was not angry about anything in his life. He had come to me because he just did not want to feel depressed anymore. After a few sessions with Bob I met with his wife, Karen. I learned that Bob loved to tease Karen. She had had an affair two years earlier and Bob had immediately forgiven her. But shortly thereafter, his teasing of Karen increased and he got depressed.
I encouraged Bob not to tease his wife and instead to do Anger Work about the affair. Although he did not feel angry at first, the anger soon came out for it had been lying just under the surface the whole time. It was this unresolved anger that had been motivating his jabs to Karen. He felt good about doing his Anger Work because it made it easier for him to stop teasing Karen. He did not want to shame or hurt his wife anymore. Bob’s depression gradually went away, and their marriage grew closer because he finally got rid of the resentment he had been harboring for so long.
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