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In my address to the Wesleyan Conference here I stated that we stood in precisely the same relation to our brethren of the Methodist Conference in the United States as we do to our brethren of the Wesleyan Conference in England—independent of either—agreeing in faith, in religious discipline, in name and doctrine, and the unity of spirit—but differing in some ecclesiastical arrangements, rendered necessary from local circumstances. I also expressed my firm conviction that the situation in which we stand is decidedly the best calculated to spread Methodism and vital religion in Canada. This statement did not, I think, give so much satisfaction to the Conference as the others, for what Pope said of Churchmen:

"Is he a Churchman? then he's fond of power,"

may also be literally applied to Wesleyan ministers, and, I may add, to Englishmen generally. I have reason to know that they would gladly govern us. I was, therefore, very pointed and explicit on this subject. I rejoice that our country lies beyond the Atlantic, and is surrounded by an atmosphere of freedom. A few months' residence in this country would lead you to value this circumstance in a degree that you can scarcely conceive of; and you would, with unknown energy, address this exhortation to the Methodists and to the people of Canada: "Stand fast, therefore, in the liberty wherewith God's providence hath made you free, and in this abound more and more." I also assured them of our respect and love for them as our fathers and elder brethren, and mentioned my reasons for giving this information to prevent future collision and misunderstanding.

The Conference or Missionary Society have, however, not given up their intention of establishing an Indian Mission in Upper Canada, but, in consequence of my remonstrances, have delayed it. Brother James Richardson's letter to the Missionary Committee, which I submitted, and was told by Rev. Dr. Townley, one of the Secretaries, that they would by no means withdraw their missionary at Kingston, as it was still their intention to establish a mission to the Indians in Upper Canada, and this station would be very necessary to them. I see that they are a little vexed that emigrants from their Societies should augment our membership.

The whole morning service of the Church of England is now read in most of the Wesleyan Chapels, and with as much formality as in the Church. Many of the members, when they become wealthy and rise in the world, join the Church, and their wealth and influence are lost to the Society. Organs are also introduced into many of their Chapels.

In a letter dated London, Feb. 6th, 1832, Rev. Geo. Ryerson writes again to Dr. Ryerson, and says that he and Peter Jones:

By request, met the Rev. Richard Watson, and some others of the Missionary Committee. They wished to consult us respecting the resolutions forwarded to them from your Missionary Committee. They profess that they will not occupy any station where there is a mission, as Grand River, Penetanguishene, etc., except St. Clair. But they declare that as it regards the white population, the agreement with the American Conference ceased when we became a separate connexion. I opposed their views, as I have invariably done, in very strong and plain terms, and explained to them the character and object of the persons who were alluring them to commence this schism. They proposed that we should give up the missions to them. I told them we could no more do so, than they give up theirs. They finally acquiesced, and voted the £300 as Rev. Dr. Townley wrote. At the Conference, at Bristol, I explained that a union of the two Conferences would be inexpedient and unprofitable, any further than a union of brotherly love and friendship.

In another letter to Dr. Ryerson from his brother George, dated London, April 6th, 1832, he says:—

I have been detained so long on expenses, and continually advancing money for the Central Committee at York, that I hope it will be repaid to Peter Jones. I was a long time attending to the business of my mission to bring it to the only practicable arrangement, that is, having it submitted to the Legislature of Upper Canada, with such recommendations and instructions as would give satisfaction to the country by consulting the wishes and interests of all parties. I have never before in my life been shut up to walk in all things by simple faith more than I have for some months past; yet I was never kept in greater steadfastness and peace of mind, nor had such openings of the Spirit and life of Jesus in my soul. The judgments of God are spreading apace—the cholera is more deadly in London, and it has now broken out in Ireland, and in the centre of Paris, where it is said to be very destructive. You need no other evidence of its being a work of God, than to be informed that it is made the public mock of the infidel population of this city; a state of feeling and conduct in regard to this pestilence that never, perhaps, was witnessed from any country, and that would make a heathen or Mahommedan ashamed. I have seen gangs of men traversing the streets and singing songs in ridicule of the cholera, and have seen caricatures of it in the windows.

August 29th, 1832.—To-day, in a valedictory editorial, Dr. Ryerson took leave of the readers of the Christian Guardian, having been its first editor for nearly three years. In that valedictory Dr. Ryerson said (p. 116):—

I first appeared before the public as a writer, at the age of two and twenty years. My first feeble effort was a vindication of the Methodists, and several other Christian denominations against the uncalled-for attack made upon their principles and character. It also contained a remonstrance against the introduction into this country of an endowed political Church, as alike opposed to the statute law of the Province, political and religious expedience, public rights and liberties. I believe this was the first article of the kind ever published in Upper Canada, and, while from that time to this a powerful combination of talent, learning, indignation, and interest has been arrayed in the vain attempt to support by the weapons of reason, Scripture, and argument, a union between the Church and the world—between earth and heaven; talents, truth, reason, and justice have alike been arrayed in the defence of insulted and infringed rights, and the maintenance of a system of public, religious, and educational instruction, accordant with public rights and interests, the principles of sound policy, the economy of Providence, and the institutions and usages of the New Testament.

Dr. Ryerson also published in this number of the Guardian the general outline of the arrangements proposed at Hallowell (Picton) on behalf of the Canada Conference to the English Conference, and designed to form the basis of articles for the proposed union between the two bodies. Rev. Robert Alder was present at the Conference, and was a consenting party to the basis of union.

December 7th, 1832.—The prospects of Union with the British Conference were not encouraging in various parts of the Connexion, and chiefly for the reasons mentioned by Rev. George Ryerson in his letters from England (see pp. 107, 8). Rev. John Ryerson, writing to Dr. Ryerson from Cobourg, also says:—

The subject of the Union appears to be less and less palatable to our friends in these parts, so much so, that I think it will not be safe for you to come to any permanent arrangements with the British Conference, even should they accede to our proposals. I am of the opinion that, except we give ourselves entirely into their hands in some way or another, no Union will take place. I tell the preachers, and they and I tell the people, that, Union or no Union, it is very important that you should go home; that you will endeavour, in every way you can, to convince the British Conference of the manifest injustice and wickedness of sending missionaries to this country.

November 21st, 1832.—The proposed union with the British Conference excited a good deal of discussion at this time in various parts of Upper Canada. Dr. Ryerson, therefore, addressed a note on the subject to Rev. Robert Alder, the English Conference representative. I make a few extracts:—

At the Hallowell Conference (1832) the question of the union was principally sustained by my brothers, and was concurred in by the vote of a large majority of the Conference. … But in some parts of the country, where Presidential visits have been made, certain local preachers have found out that the Societies ought to have been consulted; that they have been sold ("by the Ryersons,") without consent; that no Canadian will henceforth be admitted into the Conference; that our whole economy will be changed by arbitrary power, and all revivals of religion will be stopped, etc. The first of the objections is the most popular, but they have all failed to produce the intended effect, to an extent desired by the disaffected few. The object contemplated is, to produce an excitement that will prevent me going to England, and induce the Conference to retrace its steps. The merit or demerit of the measure has been mainly ascribed to me; and on its result, should I cross the Atlantic, my standing, in a great measure, depends. If our proposals should meet with a conciliatory reception, and your Committee would recommend measures, rather than require concessions, in the future proceedings of our Conference, everything can be accomplished without difficulty or embarrassment. You know that I am willing, as an individual, to adopt your whole British economy, ex animo. You also know that my brothers are of the same mind, and that a majority of the Conference will readily concur. May the Lord direct aright!

Dr. Alder's reply to Dr. Ryerson in February, 1833, was that:

You must look at the great principles and results involved in this most important affair, and not shrink from the duties imposed on you, to avoid a few present unpleasant consequences. It is not for me to prescribe rules of conduct to be observed by you, but I must say, that I am surprised that any circumstance should cause you to waver for a moment in reference to your visit to Europe. If you were to decline coming, would not the many on the other side, who are strictly watching your movements, at once say that the whole arrangements are deceptive, and merely designed to make an impression on me for a certain purpose. You know they would. Of course you will act as you please. I neither advise nor persuade, but say: Be not too soon nor too much alarmed. There are no jealousies, no evil surmisings, no ambitious designs in the matter, but a sincere desire to promote the interests of Methodism and the cause of religion in Upper Canada; and nothing will be desired from, or recommended to, you, but for this purpose.

It is a noble object that we have in view. Rev. Richard Watson takes a statesmanlike view of the whole case, and will, I am persuaded, as will all concerned here, meet you with the utmost ingenuousness and liberality, and, if they be met in a similar manner, all will end well. If you can agree to the following recommendation, I think everything else will easily be settled, viz., to constitute two or three districts, to meet annually, as District Conferences, and to hold a Triennial Conference, to be composed of all the preachers in the Provinces, under a President, to be appointed in the way mentioned in the plan of agreement proposed by your last Conference. Several of your preachers wish it; Bro. Green, the presiding Elder, is in favour of it.

January 10th, 1833.—It being necessary to collect funds to defray Dr. Ryerson's expenses to England, his brother, William, wrote to him from Brockville at this date, giving an account of his success there as a collector. He said:—

After the holidays I commenced operations, and having besieged the doors of several of our gentry, most of whom contributed without much resistance, on most honourable terms, of course, such as paying from $3 to $6, with a great many wishes, and hearty ones too, for your success. More than two-thirds of the sum collected are given by the gentlemen of the village, most of whom expressed and appeared to feel a pleasure in giving, and who have never been known to give anything to the Methodists before on any occasion whatever. Our congregation has greatly increased, so that we now have about five hundred, some say more, in the evening. A majority of the first families in the village attend our chapel. Among many others, Mr. Jonas Jones, and several of the families in the same connection; Mr. Sherwood, the High Sheriff, and several others, most of whom have never been known to attend a Methodist meeting before. You will be surprised to hear that Mrs. James Sherwood has become my warm friend, treating me with the greatest attention and kindness; and also on various occasions speaking most kindly and respectfully of me and all our family, especially yourself.

January 31st, 1833.—Under this date, Dr. Ryerson has recorded in his diary the following tribute to his first wife:—

A year ago this morning, at half-past five o'clock, the wife of my youth fell asleep in Jesus, leaving a son and daughter (John and Lucilla Hannah), the former two years and a half old, and the latter fourteen days. Hannah Aikman (her maiden name) was the daughter of John and Hannah Aikman, and was the youngest of eleven children. Hannah was born in Barton, Gore District, on the 4th of August, 1804. Her natural disposition was most amiable, and her education was better than is usually afforded to farmer's daughters in this country. At the age of sixteen she was awakened, converted, and joined the Methodist Church, of which she remained an exemplary member until her death. I became intimately acquainted with her in 1824, when she was twenty years of age, and after taking the advice of an elder brother, who had travelled the circuit on which they lived, at the strong solicitation of my parents, and the impulse of my own inclinations, I made her proposals of marriage, which were accepted. This was before I had any intention of becoming a preacher in the Methodist Church, either travelling or local.

About this time the Lord laid his afflicting hand upon me;[37] I was brought to the gate of death, and in that state became convinced by evidence as satisfactory as that of my existence, that in disregarding the dictates of my own conscience, and the important advice of many members of the Church, both preachers and lay, in regard to labouring in the itinerant field, I had resisted the Spirit of God; and on that sick, and in the estimation of my family, dying bed, I vowed to the Lord my God, that if He should see fit to raise me up and open the way, I would no more disobey the voice of His Providence and servants. From that hour I began visibly to recover, and, though the exercises of my mind were unknown to any but myself and the Searcher of hearts, before I had sufficiently recovered to walk two miles, I was called upon by the Presiding Elder, and several official members, and solicited to go on the Niagara Circuit, which was then partly destitute through the failure in health of one of the preachers. I could not but view this unexpected call us the voice of God, and, after a few days' deliberation and preparation, I obeyed, on the 24th of March, 1825, the day on which I was twenty-two years of age.

This unanticipated change in the course of my life, while it involved the sacrifice of pecuniary interests and some very flattering offers and promises, presented my contemplated marriage in a somewhat different light; though the possibility of such a change was mentioned as a condition in my proposals and our engagement. And I will here record it to the honour of the dead that she who afterwards became my wife, wrote to me a short time after I commenced travelling, that if a union between us was in any respect opposed to my views of duty, or if I thought it would militate against my usefulness, I was perfectly exonerated by her from all obligations to such a union; that, whatever her own feelings might be, she begged that they would not influence me—that God would give her grace to subdue them—that she shuddered at the thought of standing in the way of my duty and usefulness.

Knowing, as I did, that her fondness for me was extravagant, I could not wound the heart which was the seat of such elevated feelings, or help appreciating more highly than ever the principles of mind which could give rise to such noble sentiments, and such martyr-like disinterestedness of soul. In subsequent interviews, we mutually agreed—should Providence permit—and (at her suggestion) should neither of us change our minds, we would get married in three or four years. During this interval, I had at times agitations of mind as to the advantages of such a step, in regard to my ministerial labours, but determined to rely on the Divine promise, "Blessed is the man that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not." This promise has been abundantly fulfilled in me. We were married on the 10th of September, 1828. A more affectionate and prudent wife never lived. She was beloved and respected by all that knew her. I never saw her angry, nor do I recollect that an angry or unkind word ever passed between us. Her disposition was sweet, her spirit uniformly kind and cheerful, sociable, and meek. Her professions were never high, nor her joys rapturous. But in everything she was invariably faithful, and ready for every good word and work. In her confidence, peace, and conduct, as far as I could discover, without intermission, the poet's words were clearly illustrated:—

"Her soul was ever bright as noon, and calm as summer evenings be."

Though her piety for years excited my respect, and in many instances my admiration, it was nevertheless greatly quickened and deepened about six months before her death, during the Conference held at York. From that time I believe she enjoyed the perfect love of God. At least, as far as I can judge, the fruits of it were manifest in her whole life.

Several days previous to her death, when her illness assumed a mortal aspect, and she became sensible that her earthly pilgrimage was closing, her usual unruffled confidence rose to the riches of the full assurance of understanding, faith and hope, and she expressed herself with a boldness of language, a rapture of hope, and triumph of faith that I never before witnessed. Passages of Scripture, and verses of hymns, expressive of the dying Christian's victories, triumphs, and hopes, were repeated by her with a joy and energetic fervency that deeply affected all present. Her deathbed conversations and dying counsels were a rich repast and a valuable lesson of instruction to many of her Christian friends. The night before she took her departure, she called me to her and consulted me about disposing of the family and all her own things, with as much coolness and judgment as if she had been in perfect health, and was about leaving home on a few days' visit to her friends. A little before midnight she requested the babe to be brought to her—kissed it—blessed it, and returned it. She then called for the little boy (John), and, embracing and kissing him, bequeathed to him also the legacy of a pious mother's dying prayer and blessing. Afterwards she embraced me, and said, "My dear Egerton, preach the Word; be instant in season and out of season, and God will take care of you, and give you the victory." She then bid an affectionate farewell individually to all. She continued in the perfect possession of her reason, triumphing in the Rock of her salvation, until the messenger arrived and her spirit took its departure with the words, "Come, Lord Jesus," lingering upon her lips. Thus lived and died one of the excellent of the earth—a woman of good, plain sense, a guileless heart, and a sanctified spirit and life. Such is the testimony respecting her, of one who knew her best.

In his deep sorrow and affliction, at that time, Dr. Ryerson received many sympathizing letters. I give an extract of one from his brother George, dated London, Eng., 29th March, 1832. He says:—

I deeply sympathize with you in your affliction. I know how to feel for you, and you as yet know but a very small part of your trials. Years will not heal the wound. I am, even now, often quite overwhelmed when I allow myself to dwell upon the past. I need not suggest to you the commonplace topics of comfort and resignation, but I have no doubt you will see the hand of God so manifestly in it, that you will say "It was well done." I will further add that the saying of St. Paul was at no time so applicable as at the present (1 Cor. vii. 29, etc.).

The years 1830–1832 were noted in the history of the Methodist Church in Upper Canada for two things: 1st. The establishment of the Upper Canada Academy—the radiating centre of intellectual life in the Connexion. 2nd. The erection of the Adelaide St. Chapel, which for many years was the seat and source of Church life in the Societies. At the Conference of 1830 it was agreed to establish the Upper Canada Academy. In the Guardian of the 23rd of April, 1831, Dr. Ryerson gave an account of the new institution and made a strong appeal in its favour. On the 7th June, 1832, the foundation stone of the Academy was laid at Cobourg. On the 16th June, 1833, the new brick church on Newgate (Adelaide) St. was opened for Divine Service. In the Guardian of June 19th, Dr. Ryerson says: "For its size—being 75 by 55 feet—it is judged to be inferior to very few Methodist Chapels in America." P. 126.

The Story of My Life

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