The Highly Sensitive Person
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Оглавление
Elaine N. Aron. The Highly Sensitive Person
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Contents
Preface
What This Book Offers You
A Word to the Sensitive-But-Less-So
And Some Things to Say to Non-HSPs
What You Need
About Myself
The Research Behind This Book
Instructions to the Reader
Are You Highly Sensitive? A SELF-TEST
1 The Facts About Being Highly Sensitive A (Wrong) Sense of Being Flawed
She Thought She Was Crazy
Special But Deeply Misunderstood
Kristen’s Dangerous Year
Defining High Sensitivity—Two Facts to Remember
The Good News and the Not-So-Good
More About Stimulation
Is Arousal Really Different From Anxiety and Fear?
Your Trait Really Does Make You Special
How to Think About Your Differences
Heredity and Environment
What About You?
Learning About Our Culture— What You Don’t Realize WILL Hurt You
Psychology’s Bias
Royal Advisors and Warrior Kings
The Case of Charles
A Reason for Great Pride
2 Digging Deeper Understanding Your Trait for All That It Is
Observing Rob and Rebecca
Sleep Troubles
One Night, Two Kids
Rounding Out Our Picture of Rob
You Are Truly a Different Breed
The Brain’s Two Systems
You Are More Than Genes and Systems
How Trust Becomes Mistrust and the Unfamiliar Becomes Dangerous
Into the Depths
So It’s Real and It’s Okay
3 General Health and Lifestyle for HSPs Loving and Learning From Your Infant/Body Self
Six Weeks of Age: How It May Have Been
Six Weeks and Highly Sensitive
Why the Infant/Body Self?
You and Your Caretaker
Attachment and the Highly Sensitive Body
Out Too Much, In Too Much
The Problem of Being In Too Much
On Being Too Out in the World
The Balancing Act
Rest
Strategies for Overarousal
The Containers in Your Life
Boundaries
The Infant/Body’s Message
PART I
PART II
4 Reframing Your Childhood and Adolescence Learning to Parent Yourself
Marsha, a Wisely Avoidant Little Girl
HSPs and Attachment
The Confusing Issue—Do You “Love It”?
HSPs With Good Childhoods
New Fears Out in the World
The Problem of Sensitive Little Boys
Sensitive Little Girls—Mothers’ Special Companions
Being a Different Kind of Parent to Yourself
Weighing “Special Needs” Against the Risk of Lasting Discouragement
It’s Never Too Late to Overcome Discouragement
Your School Years
Schoolboys, Schoolgirls
Giftedness
Reparenting Your “Gifted” Self
The Highly Sensitive Adolescent
When Sensitive Boys and Girls Become Men and Women
Growing Up’s Bottom Line: We Grow Into a Highly Social World
5 Social Relationships The Slide Into “Shy”
If You Have Always Considered Yourself Shy
Ridding “Shyness” From Your Self-Concept
Calling Yourself Shy Is Negative
Calling Yourself Shy Is Self-Fulfllling
How to Think About Your “Social Discomfort”
Five Ways to Handle Overarousal in Social Situations
People, Arousal, and Introversion
The Extraverted HSP
Appreciating the Introverted Style
Carl Jung on the Introverted Style
It Takes All Kinds
Making Friends
The Persona and Good Manners
Learning More Social Skills
Don’t Feel Bad If You Know What to Do But Don’t Always Do It
The Case of Paula
Basic Social Advice for HSPs
6 Thriving at Work Follow Your Bliss and Let Your Light Shine Through
“Vocation” Is Not “Vacation” Misspelled
The Vocation of All HSPs
Vocation, Individuation, and the HSP
Jobs and Vocation
Vocation and the Liberated HSP
Knowing Your Own Vocation
What Other HSPs Are Doing
Turning Vocation Into a Job That Pays
Art as Vocation
Service to Others as a Vocation
A Lesson From Greg
HSPs and Social Responsibility
HSPs in the World of Business
The Gifted HSP in the Workplace
Seeing That Your Trait Is Properly Valued
Training
Being Physically Comfortable on the Job
Advancing in an Organization
Bette Meets Machiavelli
Regrets—Evitable and Inevitable
7 Close Relationships The Challenge of Sensitive Love
HSP Intimacy—So Many Ways We Do It
HSPs and Falling in Love
When It Is Too Intense
Human and Divine Love
Overwhelming Love and Insecure Attachment
The Two Ingredients for Mutual Love
How Arousal Can Make Anyone Fall In Love
Two Other Reasons HSPs Are More Prone to Love
Deepening a Friendship
Finding the Right Other
HSPs at the Dance
Close Relationships Between Two HSPs
When the Other Is Not As Highly Sensitive
Differences in Optimal Arousal Level
Daily Time Alone
The Fear of Honest Communication
The Need for Time-outs During Conflicts
The Power of Positive Metacommunications and Reflective Listening
Close Relationships As a Path to Individuation
THE DOS:
THE DON’TS:
Self-Expansion in Close Relationships
HSPs and Sexuality
HSPs and Children
Your Sensitivity Enriches Your Relationships
8 Healing the Deeper Wounds A Different Process for HSPs. Remembering a Sensitive Friend From the Past
HSPs and the Healing of Psychological Wounds
How Much Emphasis Should We Place on Our Childhoods?
How Dan Survived
What About Your Own Past?
The Four Approaches
HSPs and the Behavioral-Cognitive Approach
HSPs and the Interpersonal Approach
HSPs and the Physical Approach
HSPs and Spiritual Approaches
Is Psychotherapy Useful for HSPs Without Specific Adult or Childhood Problems?
Especially for HSPs—Jungian Analysis and Jungian-Oriented Psychotherapy
Some Final Observations About HSPs and Psychotherapy
9 Medics, Medications, and HSPs “Shall I Listen to Prozac or Talk Temperament With My Doctor?”
Ways Your Trait Affects Your Medical Care
Rewriting Medical History
A Caution About Medical Labels for Your Trait
Why Take Prozac and Other Drugs?
Medications in a Crisis
Instant Arousal-Stopping Medications
Medications to Repair the Effects of Long-Term Overarousal
What Antidepressants Do
Serotonin and Personality
Serotonin and HSPs
Serotonin and Being a Victim
Should You Try to Change Your Trait With an SSRI?
Prozac’s Shadow
If You Go Ahead (or Have Already)
10 Soul and Spirit Where True Treasure Lies
Four Telltale Signs
What We Are Good At—What’s It Good For?
Writing the Precepts of Your Religion
How We Inspire Others in the Search for Meaning
We Lead in the Search for Wholeness
The Pursuit of Wholeness Through the Four Functions
Dreams, Active Imagination, and Inner Voices
Angels and Miracles, Spirit Guides and Synchronicities
When Your Spiritual Life Is Like Tidal Waves
Our Worth and Partnership
Tips for Health-Care professionals Working With Highly Sensitive People
Tips for Teachers Working With Highly Sensitive Students
Tips for Employers of Highly Sensitive People
If you enjoyed The Highly Sensitive Person, check out this other great Elaine N. Aron title
Notes. Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Index
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Отрывок из книги
To Irene Bernardicou Pettit, Ph.D.
– being both poet and peasant, she knew how to plant this seed and tend it until it blossomed.
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• More sensitive to things in the air. (Yes, that means more hay fever and skin rashes.)
Overall, again, our nervous systems seem designed to react to subtle experiences, which also makes us slower to recover when we must react to intense stimuli.
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