Читать книгу A Place Called Home - Eleanor Jones - Страница 13

CHAPTER THREE

THE RESTAURANT MATT had chosen was suave and sophisticated.

“I wish you’d told me we were coming here—I would have worn something classier,” Ellie groaned as they pulled up outside. She checked her reflection, fluffing up her short blond curls.

“You look fine,” he insisted. “And you’ll be far more likely to charm my client dressed like that.”

“You’re not seriously telling me this is a business dinner, Matt. I thought you were trying to make amends for abandoning me this afternoon.”

“I am, kind of. I’m killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

Her irritation suddenly faded, and was replaced with amusement. Was that why she was with Matt? she wondered. Because she didn’t need to take him too seriously? It occurred to her that their whole engagement might be a sham. If they were both honest, neither of them actually wanted to get married...or even move in together. The thought left her feeling vaguely uncomfortable, and when Andy’s warm grin flashed into her mind, she quickly stifled the emotions it conjured, turning her attention back to the present.

“Ever the opportunist, eh, Matt?” She laughed, trying to sound lighthearted.

“Have to be.” He grinned, holding out his arm.

As she curled her fingers around the expensive material of his suit jacket, she lifted her chin, silently cursing Andy Montgomery for coming back into her life; hopefully their paths wouldn’t cross again for a while...or ever. He conjured up way too many painful memories. Life with Matt was lighthearted, and she liked lighthearted right now.

* * *

DETERMINED TO ENJOY the evening, Ellie tried her best to make conversation with Matt’s middle-aged client, Jack Noble. She was a bit self-conscious about the length of her skirt, but she didn’t let on. She had been to so many of these dinners since she met Matt that sometimes she wondered if he was only with her to have a trophy on his arm, someone to flirt with his clients in order to weaken their resolve. Until recently it had just felt like a bit of fun; she’d been in control and that had made her feel good. Tonight, though, despite her outward show of joviality, she couldn’t seem to find the right mood. It all seemed so shallow. Smiling at yet another of Jack’s unfunny jokes, she was overcome with the feeling that her whole life was a sham, too. The only real, true thing in her life was her painting. She’d convinced herself that her relationship with Matt was fun and lighthearted, but suddenly it just felt false. A heavy ache began to throb in her temple.

“Look...” She put her hand to her head. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel so well. I think I may have to go home.”

She caught a glint of anger in Matt’s gray eyes and grimaced.

“My head is killing me.”

The client was more understanding.

“Perhaps you should take her home,” he said to Matt. “We can do this some other time.”

“No, honestly, I just need some fresh air,” Ellie objected. “You two carry on. I’ll call a cab.”

“Why don’t you try going outside for a bit, then, before you rush off,” Matt suggested, eager to salvage what he could of the meeting.

Ellie was already on her feet. “It’s just a headache, but I do think I’d better head home.” She held out her hand to Jack, who seized it with plump fingers, pumping it up and down. “Nice to meet you,” she said, smiling. “And I really am sorry about this.”

“I’ll call you later,” Matt cut in, making his opinion clear.

The fresh evening air hit her as soon as she left the restaurant and she felt the pain in her head already beginning to recede. Rejecting her plan to call a taxi, she decided to walk the mile or so back to her apartment. By the time she got home, she would probably feel absolutely fine.

Setting off, she listened to the staccato sound of her heels on the pavement. She had become used to living in the city, with its constant buzz and bright lights, but tonight it felt oppressive. She found herself hankering once again for the quiet peace of the countryside. It was all Andy Montgomery’s fault. He’d brought back memories and emotions she didn’t want to feel, but now that he had, she couldn’t ignore them. Reaching into her pocket for her cell phone, she dialed her dad’s number, not really expecting an answer. When his deep voice with its strong Northern accent filled her ears, she was suddenly struck dumb.

“Who is this?”

As usual, he sounded irritable and less than pleased to be disturbed. Remembering how he used to be when her mum was alive, Ellie found her voice.

“Dad?”

“Ellie? Is that you?”

Was she just imagining the lift in his tone?

“Yes, it’s me, your one and only daughter. How are you, Dad?”“

He was quiet for a moment. “Business is good—new stallion’s popular.”

“But how are you?”

“I get by.”

“Dad, I thought I might come see you next weekend, stay a night or two.”

His response was immediate. “You don’t need to.”

“I want to,” she said, meaning it. “So...what’s the new stallion’s name?”

His voice brightened. Her dad never had trouble talking about the horses. “We call him Dennis, stud name Grand Design. He’s giving Blue a run for his money.”

Ellie smiled, recalling how proud her parents had been of their first homebred sire, Into the Blue. His first crop of foals had been born the year before her mother was diagnosed, when everything in their world was still rosy. Grief and homesickness split her in two, and her need to see her dad and all the animals grew stronger.

“I’ll see you next weekend, Dad.”

“Suit yourself. I don’t need help, mind. I’ve got by on my own for the last six years, so what’s different now?”

Ellie hesitated, pondering the question. “Maybe I’m different, Dad...and perhaps you are, too.”

“I’ve got to go. Jake Munro’s here to see me.”

Ellie wasn’t surprised when the line went dead. Nothing had changed there, then. Her dad had never been good with emotion. It hadn’t mattered when she was small because her mum had always had enough for both of them. But now it was just Ellie and her dad.

Taking in her surroundings, Ellie noticed how enclosed everything seemed. Cars and lights and tall, looming buildings. Images of a wide-open sky and rugged hills filled her mind. Her day out in the country and her run-in with Andy had triggered this trip down memory lane. She hadn’t planned on it, but now she felt as if today had released some of her demons. The painful months before and immediately after her mother’s death were difficult to face, but Hope Farm also held the memories of her childhood. For the first time in over five years, she wanted to go home.

* * *

TO ELLIE’S SURPRISE, Matt wasn’t too happy when she told him, the next morning, that she was going to see her dad. They were having coffee together in Costa, and Matt’s reaction took her by surprise.

“But you can’t go,” he announced, a dull flush spreading up his neck.

Normally, they slid in and out of each other’s lives, few questions asked. Her apartment was on the top floor of a run-down Victorian house in the outskirts of the city. She spent almost all of her spare time painting there, while Matt rented a smart penthouse suite downtown. They both loved their own personal space, and despite having been engaged for several months, they had never really discussed taking the next step in their relationship. It was only now that she realized perhaps they just didn’t want to. It never occurred to her that he might object to her taking a trip.

“What do you mean, I can’t?” she retaliated. “It’s not until next weekend, and we don’t have any plans. I really believe it’s time I visited my dad. You can come with me, if you like.”

He rolled his eyes, the flush receding. “You know I hate the country.”

That put her on the defensive. “Well, I don’t, and I’ve been irresponsible for far too long.”

Matt took hold of her hand across the table, a pleading expression in his eyes. “I really need to close this deal, and I’ve arranged to meet Jack Noble again next Saturday night. A pretty face just might push him in the right direction.”

“So basically,” she responded, feeling a prickle of irritation. “You don’t want me there for me, you just want me to flirt with your client. And why can’t you meet him sooner?”

“He’s out of town until then. Why can’t you go see your dad another time?”

Ellie drained her coffee cup and set it firmly on the table. “Because I’ve already told him I’m going on the weekend.”

“It’s not as if he’s going to be bothered if you change your plans, though, is he? You haven’t seen him in ages, and the last time you tried to visit he conveniently decided to go out. Surely that tells you something.”

“Well, maybe this time I won’t take no for an answer,” Ellie said, pushing her mug away and standing up. “I’m sorry, Matt, but I really do want to go. I need to. I know this deal is important to you, but I’m not changing my plans just to be your arm candy. And besides, you’ve had a deal going down at least a couple of times a week ever since I met you. What’s so special about this one?”

“Well...” He looked disconcerted. “Nothing, really, just another piece of property I bought from a bankruptcy sale. I’ve stretched myself a bit, though, so I need a quick turnover.”

Ellie sighed, pulling on her jacket. “Then why don’t you try and find someone else to take it off your hands? I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

His deep voice followed her. “Don’t bother, I’m going out tonight.”

“Please yourself,” she responded, to the amusement of the couple at the next table.

She hadn’t expected to feel so unaffected by their disagreement. Perhaps their relationship had run its course. It was time, she realized, to stop and take stock, to catch up with the past she had spent so long trying to forget. And then she would decide where she was with Matt.

* * *

WHEN THE GARAGE called the next day to tell her that her car was ready to collect, Ellie didn’t bother Matt, and took a bus to Tarnside instead. On the way home, she stopped in at Cravendale to check on the fox cub. Paula welcomed her, exclaiming over the little creature’s recovery and promising to let Ellie know when she was about to let it go.

“It’s so rewarding,” Paula said with a radiant smile. “When they run free again...you should come and watch.”

Ellie pulled out her camera and took a few shots of the cub before she left, feeling a niggle of inspiration. Suddenly she knew what she wanted to paint next...her own interpretation of freedom.

For the next couple of days, she threw herself into her painting, embracing the focus she always had when she started a new project. It was only in the dead of night, when sleep proved elusive, that thoughts of Matt, Andy, her dad and the longing for times gone by came back to mess with her head.

* * *

AT THE END of her second day of painting, Ellie stood back to take in her work so far. Surprised to see that the light was fading she glanced at her watch. Could it really be eight already? She put down her brush and stretched out her arms, her body aching. The face of the rescued fox stared back at her, its yellow eyes filled with fear and ferocity. The rest of the painting faded out into a blur of color, drawing the observer’s eye to what really mattered; the raw emotion of the piece, and the clear but distant glimpse of the freedom the wild creature craved. Smiling to herself, Ellie stood, contemplating her afternoon’s work with a critical eye. She’d done enough, she decided. She didn’t want to overwork it and she liked its slightly unfinished look.

With another quick glance at the painting she headed for the kitchen, her mind going back to the little fox and its plight. That morning, Paula had called to tell her that tomorrow was the day. She was so looking forward to watching its release. It would be like going full circle.

She hadn’t heard from Matt, and she hadn’t gotten in touch with him, either. Was she being selfish? Should she have changed her plans as he wanted her to? She flicked the switch on the kettle and waited for the water to boil. To be fair, Matt was right that her dad had called to dissuade her from coming the last time she tried to visit him. It felt right this time, though, and she didn’t care what her dad said. Anyway, it didn’t sound as if Matt’s client was worth pursuing, so perhaps she’d done him a favor.

Picking up her phone, she dialed his number, listening to his deep tones on the voice mail. “Hi...just me,” she said,

He called her back ten minutes later and they arranged to meet for a drink at the bar where they first met, Applejacks, but conversation was stilted, like two strangers on a first date.

He talked about his latest deal and she told him she’d started a new painting, but she sensed a shift in their relationship, a holding back that wasn’t all her fault. And it couldn’t just be because of their disagreement about her trip—Matt’s client had dropped the deal. Fortunately, though, he already had someone else interested. Someone who hopefully didn’t need any input from her.

At the end of the evening, she announced that she would get a cab back to her apartment, and he didn’t protest. On the shiny, rain-washed pavement, he held her close in a hard, impersonal embrace, touching her lips briefly with his.

“Perhaps it’s good that you’re going home for a visit,” he said. “I think we both need a break.”

Ellie felt a surge of panic, her safe little world rocking on its axis. “What...you mean split up?”

He shook his head. “Yes, I guess, but not forever, or at least not necessarily, but we both need to think about where this is going...because it feels to me as if we’re going in different directions.”

“I feel that, too,” she admitted, knowing it was true.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING dawned bright and clear. Ellie lay in her bed watching the sun rise above the tall houses across the street, experiencing a burst of longing for the wild hills of home. She recalled her brief conversation with Matt last night, but her sadness was fleeting. Was this the final blow to the safe haven she had secured for herself? It felt scary and strange, yet she knew he was right; they did seem to be pulling in different directions.

She turned her attention back to the present, pushing all thoughts of Matt out of her head. Today, she was going to watch the fox cub run free and she couldn’t wait. Had she done its expression justice in her painting, or would she have to repaint the whole thing? She should have waited to start on it until after she’d seen its release for herself, but inspiration didn’t come to order. With one last satisfied glance at her handiwork, she reached for her car keys.

* * *

ELLIE FELT A song in her heart as she reached Cravendale, spotting Paula waiting impatiently in the yard. Paula urged her eagerly toward the fox’s enclosure.

“I didn’t want to start without you,” she said excitedly as they entered the low stone building. “We’re all ready to go, but we waited to catch the cub and put it into a travelling cage because we thought you’d like to see the whole thing.”

We?

“That must be difficult to do.”

Paula smiled. “Fortunately, we’ve got expert help.”

“I thought you were the expert.” The deep, familiar voice that came from the shadows made Ellie’s pulse speed up. She stopped, her hand raised to the base of her throat.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Her voice sounded strange in her ears, clipped and harsh, belying her breathlessness.

Andy laughed, stepping into view, his warm brown eyes full of merriment and holding hers with a quizzical expression. “Don’t sound too pleased.”

She blushed, glad of the semidarkness. “I am. I mean...I don’t really care either way.”

“Come on, then, Andy,” Paula pressed him. “The poor little thing is terrified.”

Andy deftly caught the fox, his hands firm but gentle as he lifted it into the small cage. Then they all loaded into Andy’s 4X4 and set off.

Ellie sat in the back, listening to Andy and Paula chatter about the animals at Cravendale. His dark blond hair, as unruly as ever, shone in the morning sunshine. One broad, tanned hand was firm on the wheel and the other rested on the back of Paula’s seat, right in front of Ellie. Resisting the temptation to reach out and place her hand over his, as she used to do so naturally, Ellie peered out the window.

“This is it,” she cried, glad to be finally doing something positive that might take her mind away from the past and how things used to be. “This is where he got hit.”

“I was there, remember?” Andy smiled, glancing back at her.

“I know this place,” Paula said. “There’s a den in the copse over there. We’ll set him free under the cover of the trees.”

* * *

THEY SET THE cage down under a bush and waited a while to let the cub absorb its surroundings. The three of them stood silently together, almost out of sight. Ellie listened to the rustling of the wind in the trees, entranced as Paula stepped forward quietly to unlatch the cage door. The little fox cowered, sniffing the air, yellow eyes fearful as he crept gingerly toward the opening. And then he made his dash for freedom and tears were flowing down Ellie’s face. When Andy’s arm crept around her shoulders, it felt so right.

“Amazing, isn’t it,” he murmured as the fox took one look back before disappearing into the undergrowth.

The spell was broken. Ellie stepped away from him, alarm bells ringing in her head. What was she thinking?

Paula glanced back at them, her lovely eyes alight with passion.

“Run free, little fox,” she cried.

Andy held out his hand to her and when she took it, Ellie felt something wither deep inside.

“Right,” Ellie said curtly. “That was really something, but unfortunately I have to get home pretty soon. Thanks so much for inviting me, though.”

Dropping Andy’s hand, Paula gave her a quick hug. “You were the one who rescued him.”

“And I was the one whose fiancé knocked him down in the first place,” Ellie said.

Paula shrugged. “As I already said, accidents happen. At least you did the right thing.”

Ellie glanced at Andy, holding his gaze for a moment.

“We all do things we regret,” he said quietly.

“Do we?” she asked. “So what are your regrets?”

He stepped forward, still holding her eyes in his. “I—” he began.

“Come on, then,” urged Paula, heading for Andy’s truck. “I thought you were in a rush, Ellie.”

“I am,” Ellie responded, turning to follow her, vaguely disappointed that she hadn’t gotten to hear Andy out. Then again, did she really want to know his regrets?