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Chapter 2: Prophetic vision: Waiting is a season of preparation

Once, I had a very clear vision during my quiet time. I suddenly saw myself in heaven, where Jesus took me by the hand and showed me a room. I entered it and found myself in the center of a ballroom from the Baroque period, in which there were wonderful, elegant people—men and women whose behavior, appearance, and clothing were noble; they were all holding in their hands a sign saying “WAITING.” I asked Jesus, “What does that mean?” He told me, “Those are the people who have decided voluntarily to wait for the marriage partner that I will lead to them.” “Oh, how interesting, and how does that happen?” I asked curiously. God said, “The WAITING is nothing other than a season of preparation for their CALLING. On these marriages, which I have chosen, there will rest an enormous, larger-than-life blessing for the end times and a destiny for the end times that will touch nations, families and people groups.

That is heavenly and mega-fantastic:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… (Ephesians 3:20).

This requires a foundation; the season of preparation or waiting is not a punishment.

If God gives someone a partner early, because the conditions are appropriate, then we praise God for that. If it takes longer until we receive this gift because neither of us is ready (or one partner is not yet ready), then we also praise God and bless what He is doing “behind the scenes”. You do not yet know what situations and struggles your future marriage partner has been going through. Be a blessing to them now and pray for your partner. Maybe you are praying him or her “through” and they will be converted to Jesus with all their heart and will follow him.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing (Philippians 2:14).

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised (Hebrews 10:35 36).

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed! (Psalm 20:4).

A partner who has been prepared by God will help the other partner to come into the fulness that God has for both as individuals and for their calling. That is a perfect gift from God. (However, that does not mean that you will not have to work on your marriage relationship and on your own character!)

I think God will give us a partner who will challenge us to become more like Jesus and whose gifting will complement ours. It will not be perfect but much better than we can imagine, and, in the heavenly sense, perfect.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17).

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

… For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God (Colossians 1:9-10).

God will assign callings to marriages, and that is why it is so important for each partner to have the same or a similar vision for their life. The visions of each partner will complement that of the other. “One vision and not division.”

I have some friends who have prayed for the partner that God has chosen for them, and even before they fell in love, they knew that they were meant to be together. This took place through a word of knowledge in their spirit. They first recognized each other in the spirit. Initially they did not quite match the expectations they had had—but they got on very well and had a strong unity in the spirit. And then, soon afterwards, they did fall in love.

Today they are married and ministering actively together. They are good role models for me, and some of them have been married for more than 20 years. God led them together through his spirit. What a testimony! They are perfectly suited and complement each other so well!

God leads partners together in different ways—according to their faith. Because God is very creative!

According to your faith let it be done to you (cf. Matthew 9:29).

God will not speak only to one person, but always to both. And He will give additional confirmation. Everything else would be manipulation, as in “God has shown me that you will be my spouse.” If God does not confirm that in your heart (with love and joy), then this word is certainly not for you! Furthermore, you should not pray for a particular person to be your partner; that is also manipulation.

God will not lead two people together like puppets, but His guidance will be clearly recognizable and unmistakable! He will give them love for each other, and He also knows our taste. He will not lead someone to you that you will not get on with. As a loving father, God wants only the best for His sons and daughters. He has a plan and a calling for us. He knows how we will develop and where we will be in 10 years. He works in us to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose (cf. Philippians 2:13).

When we are in love, we tend to see everything through rose-tinted glasses and are not thinking clearly enough to make wise decisions. But for this second most important decision in your life you need God’s guidance and much wisdom. The first and most important decision is to give your life to Jesus (see Appendix).

Maybe we must first become empty and allow our wishes to die so that God can give us what we need and that for which we are called and created.

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!! (cf. Matthew 7:9-11).

God wants the best for you and He loves you with the greatest imaginable love.

He loves you so much that He died for you. Who would do that for you just so that you are not lost? No one apart from Him (cf. 1 John 4:9-10).

If God created you in the womb of your mother (Psalm 139), then He also made your partner, and He knows both of you. God sees the heart. He knows what makes you both tick and, above all, He knows how each of you will develop in the coming years. He knows where both of you will be in 10 years, which “giants” you will have killed, and which “lands” you will have possessed. Is it not essential, then, to ask God for wisdom, counsel and guidance?

Once, when I asked God why so many Christian marriages end in divorce, He answered, “There are many Christian marriages that I did not initiate.” We need to get it right from the start in order not to grumble, and possibly accuse God in the end. We are no longer our own if we belong to Christ. He has so much better and higher thoughts than we do. We have the view of an ant, but God sees the whole universe. That is how He once explained this to me. We need to know beforehand what it is all about. First comes commitment to God, then commitment to your marriage partner, because you can only fill up your reservoir of love with God’s resources.

It is also logical that it is necessary to work at the marriage relationship and to invest time and money in counselling and workshops (such as “Love After Marriage”). I also believe that at the beginning of a marriage it is important that both partners are ready for each other, have dealt with old hurts, and are mature enough to begin a new life together.

The most important thing for the time here on earth is that we have a love relationship with God and know what God has made us for, that is, to join in working with Him to bring heaven to the earth.

When I get to heaven, I would like to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (cf. Matthew 25:21).

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

Works that are prepared for us will not be consumed by fire but will be rewarded and very fruitful (cf 1 Corinthians 3:15). Without Him we can do nothing (cf John 15:1-8).

Practical applications and challenges:

Dear single friend, the partner that God has for you will share or complement your calling and vision and will promote you, not hold you back. Allow God to show you your calling and write it down.

Maybe you are thinking, “But I don’t have a calling. That is something for other people. They can do things better than I can.” You should expose this sentence as a lie and nail it to the cross immediately! And then replace it with what God gives you instead.

He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of any­thing we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time (2 Timothy 1:9).

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called (Ephesians 4:4).

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

As my vision of the ballroom continued, God showed me the kinds of lies that oppose these people who are waiting for their partner. Again, these lies take the form of thoughts!

Maybe you are thinking right now:

• God has forgotten me!

• Does God really have a partner for me?

• Everyone except me has a partner!

• Have I missed God?!?

• What is not right about me?

• How long do I still have to wait?

• Does God really have the best for me?

You should rebuke these thoughts and leave them at the cross! If these thoughts are familiar to you, remember that they are very destructive; they target single people with the aim of hindering them in their walk with God and in their calling, or seducing them in other ways.

Replace the lies with God’s promises and proclaim these over your life.

…the God who…calls into being things that were not (Romans 4:20).

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).

Recall what God says about you in Jeremiah 29:11: „For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

What lie(s) do I believe?

Practical applications and challenges:

Give these lies to God. Bring them to the cross. Say goodbye to the destructive thoughts and repent of having believed them. Ask God to show you what He will give you instead. Write it down and say it aloud.

You can also dance in response to God’s truth and promises, or paint them. Maybe you can make a list of proclamations by writing down the truths/promises of God. Proclaim them aloud over your life whenever they come into your mind.