Читать книгу How to Communicate Effectively With Anyone: Persuasion Mastery - Elizabeth Inc. Oprah - Страница 4

In every aspect of our lives, we communicate.

An integral part of being human is our ability to communicate as effectively as we do.

All animals have a way to communicate, but communication is a highly developed part of humans.

All interaction involves communication, both verbal and non-verbal. The look we give somebody when they cut us off is communication, just as much as it is when we give a waiter our order.

When we communicate, it is because we are trying to tell the other person something and to make our point understood.

Talking is easy, getting our message understood by the others person is not always easy.

When we are not effective in our communication, it results in miscommunication.

We might have been trying to say one thing, but the other person interpreted it another way.

Miscommunication causes many problems, both in our personal and professional lives. Learning to communicate effectively will lessen the chances of having miscommunication issues, and thereby reducing the problems that come with miscommunication, such as arguments, resentments, anger, hurt feelings, and frustration.

It is equally frustrating to not be able to clearly get your point across, as it is to be trying to understand what point somebody else is trying to make if they are not being clear.

Another aspect of communication, and perhaps the most dreaded aspect, is having to speak in public.

From a toast at a wedding, to speaking up during a business meeting, to having to give a speech in front of a crowded room, speaking in public is often a thing of dread.

It is just you up there, alone with all eyes on you, and every stumble that you make will be noticed, just the thought often causes people who are usually very polished speakers to begin to sweat.

We will help you lessen that nervous feeling by helping you learn how to polish up your public speaking skills.

True, some people are just gifted speakers, but like all skills, it can be learned.

Who has not had a simple conversation turn into a heated argument, all because two people have two different opinions and an agreement on who was right could not be reached.

There is a better way to get your point across than by arguing. This book will help you not only communicate better, but also help you learn how to get your point across to others, without degrading a conversation to an argument.

Being able to not only get your message through clearly, but being able to persuade the other person to your way of thinking is also a skill that you can learn.

It is a skill those in the sales industry have honed into an art form, and those skill can be learned.

It is not the message that is important; it is how the other person receives it.

If you are trying to get them to understand something and they just do not understand, the fault is probably not with them, but most likely with your method of communication.

You know what you mean because it is your idea, but you may not always be able to translate your thoughts into a clear expression by using words.

When you do not clearly communicate, your idea gets lost, and both you and the person you are talking to will get frustrated.

Take the frustration out by learning to speak in such a way that your meaning is clear to understand.

When speaking, a good rule of thumb is to know your audience.

If giving a speech about something, let us say that you are a marketing person, marketing a new product to the public, do you focus on what the product does, or the ins and outs of the technology that the product has?

If you get technical to a non-technical audience, you lose them and the message is lost. You must learn to relate to your audience, so always do some homework before hand.

If you are trying to get them to understand or learn about a new thing, make it relatable.

Use metaphors, but do not use obscure references in your metaphors because you want to have a reference they can relate you.

You must always try to relate to your audience.

Reputation is everything, both in the personal and in the professional world.

If you have a habit of promising to do something but rarely follow through, when you are trying to persuade somebody about something that will very likely be your downfall.

People who hear through the grapevine that you tend to not keep promises will be less inclined to help you based on that reputation because they know that the likelihood of a favor being reciprocated is slim, or worse that whatever you might be saying could be untrue.

Your reputation precedes you, so to avoid people already being opposed to listening to you based on your reputation, watch your reputation and make sure that you have a good one.

If you promise something, follow through.

This one goes hand-in-hand with reputation, but when trying to persuade people to see your side of things, never promise people a perfect outcome.

There are no perfect outcomes and if you promise perfection and a problem arises then it will look as if you lied in order to gain support or to get their help.

Never gloss over the risks when there are risks, if people are led to expect one outcome and get another one, it will reflect very badly on you.

Omitting information is the same as lying so never omit necessary information.

An effective communicator is able to tell the truth, yet still advise fully of the risks and chances, which avoids falling into the category of being somebody who does not tell the truth.

Once you have a reputation for lying to get your way, you will find that getting people to listen to you is next to impossible.

You will never be a good communicator unless you learn to be a good listener.

There is more to communication than just getting your message out, the other person must understand it, and you need to be able to listen to them to be sure that they do.

Do not skip over their questions, or gloss over their viewpoints.

Communication is a skill, it is a matter of give and take and so in order for you to be a great communicator, you must learn to listen.

People appreciate being listened too, it makes them feel as if their opinion matters, even it is different from your viewpoint.

Another part of effective communication is how to hold a discussion without it turning into an argument.

Sometimes arguments can flare up just by the tone of voice that is used, so always keep your tone neutral, especially when having discussions; remember it is okay to disagree as long as it is done in a constructive way.

Avoid ever placing blame and watch your language to avoid blame language such as “you did this.”

More often than we would like, at some point during a conversation with somebody, the other person might take the low road and deliberately say something to make you react in a bad way.

That is a tactic used by people who are unable to effectively say what they mean so they say something inflammatory or hurtful.

Let them. Do not react. Yes, this is hard to do, but by thinking things through instead of just reacting, calmer heads will prevail.