Читать книгу Regency Pleasures and Sins Part 2 - Elizabeth Rolls - Страница 24

‘What in damnation are you doing here at this ungodly hour?’

George had his head propped in both hands, his elbows resting on the table, but he had glanced up to deliver that testy remark. He had a hangover that made it seem a blacksmith had set up business inside his skull. A regular thump was affecting his vision and the oak panelling in the dining room seemed nauseatingly atilt. Having sheltered his throbbing brow a few moments longer in his cupped palms he managed to rouse himself sufficiently to bark at his hovering butler to be gone.

‘Women or money? It must be one of the two to bring you here so confoundedly early.’

‘It’s both,’ Jason told him and, taking a chair opposite, sat down, uninvited, at the breakfast table.

George wrapped himself tighter into his dressing gown and took a nibble at dry toast. The tasteless morsel did nothing to settle his queasy stomach. His unwelcome visitor was eerily quiet and that started him fidgeting. Silverware was pushed about on mahogany. ‘You’ve found out that I owe that bastard, Bridgeman, money and he’s threatening me with the duns. What of it?’

‘I found out that you’re not averse to pimping to clear your debts.’

George felt fiery heat prickle beneath his silk collar. ‘Bridgeman wanted to marry Charlotte,’ he snapped, tossing a spoon in irritation. ‘If encouraging an eligible fellow makes me a pimp, then every fond mama with a chit to offload is a procuress.’

‘And Helen? Did he want to marry her, too?’

George rubbed a hand over his bristly jaw and slanted a proper look at the man opposite. Jason had a similar drink-dissipated appearance to the one he’d seen reflected in his dressing mirror not an hour since. ‘You’re still too far in your cups … as I am,’ he mumbled. ‘Best leave this till another time….’

‘Did he want to marry Helen, too?’ Jason roared.

George started and a hand sprang to his pounding head. ‘Of course not! He’s wanted her for years, but not as a wife.’ George felt the burning on his neck again but managed to sneer, ‘He just wanted to sleep with her … same as you….’

Jason violently gained his feet. ‘Helen went with Bridgeman last night to try and persuade him to leave Charlotte alone.’

‘I know … she told me when I took her home.’

‘What else did she say?’

‘If you think I’ll repeat to you a private conversation and betray my sister’s trust …'A burst of contemptuous laughter interrupted George.

‘You’ve been betraying your sister’s trust for years. Helen trusted you to do what your father asked, and care for her and Charlotte. She trusted you to let your sister marry the man she loved.’

‘Just as your sister trusted you to let her marry the man she loved,’ George spat and pushed himself upright. He stood unsteadily with his fists balled on the table as support. ‘But you couldn’t do it, could you? You had to spoil it for us.’

Jason walked towards George, his face grimly set. ‘Is that what your spite and resentment is all about? You and Beatrice?’ he demanded to know.

George’s eyes dropped away from the steel-grey stare. In resignation he flapped a hand before showing Jason his back.

A vicious grip on George’s shoulder spun him around so they were again face to face. ‘My sister was sixteen when you persuaded her to run off. The consequences for her future would have been unspeakable had the scandal leaked out.’

‘I would have married her,’ George gritted in a voice that had lost none of its belligerent edge.

‘She was too young and too innocent and you knew it. But you were always too damned selfish … just as you are now.’

‘And you were always too damned horny … just as you are now. Iris told me she saw you kissing Diana last night. You went out for the evening with Helen, but soon found another woman to take her place. Yet you have the gall to come here and act noble on Helen’s account!’ George jeered.

‘Oh, I didn’t come here to act noble, George,’ Jason softly enunciated. ‘I came here to do this.’ A single punch knocked George down into his chair. It teetered on its back legs for a moment before crashing over on to the polished parquet and sending George sprawling. ‘That’s long overdue and not nearly enough. But it’ll do for now,’ Jason said before quitting the room.

Cedric’s rheumy eyes flowed over the neatly dressed young woman. She looked more modish than when last she’d arrived, alone, demanding to see the master. But her haughty look was unchanged.

‘Sir Jason’s not here,’ he told her and started to shut the door.

Helen stepped on to the threshold to prevent him dismissing her. ‘Is Sir Jason soon expected back?’ she asked firmly.

‘Eh?’ Cedric cocked his good ear at her.

‘Is your master soon expected home?’ Helen asked with more volume.

‘He might be …’ Cedric said unhelpfully. His infirm memory suddenly pounced on something important. He recalled getting a flea in his ear for having treated this chit impolitely last time she came asking for the master. Cedric belatedly dipped his wispy head and opened the door a little wider.

‘I’ll wait, thank you.’ Helen slipped neatly past the old retainer and into the magnificent hallway of Jason’s Grosvenor Square residence.

Her heart was beating energetically, deafening her with the roar of fast-flowing blood and rendering her oblivious to Cedric’s mutterings. Fearing he might again put her in the cupboard to wait, she swiftly stepped to a hallway chair and sat down. From under her bonnet brim she watched Cedric give her a stern stare, then move away on slow feet.

Helen watched his shuffling retreat, then closed her eyes as the enormity of what she’d done overwhelmed her. She had again acted with a brazen contempt for etiquette by coming here alone and uninvited. But having found the temerity to act quickly to end their affair, she did not want her courage to ebb away.

Suddenly it occurred to her that Jason might be so early abroad because he had gone to Westlea House to perform the same task as had brought her to see him.

It was finished between them, she understood that, and wanted it that way, but her pride demanded that she be the one to formally conclude their relationship.

Iris and Bridgeman were both spiteful people, but Helen instinctively knew that they had told her facts, not falsehoods. Undoubtedly some of what Iris had said had been intentionally exaggerated and hurtful, but oddly it had been enlightening, too. Pieces of a puzzle had slipped into place concerning the hatred that had sprung up between George and Jason a decade ago. George had compromised Beatrice and made Jason bitter and vengeful. As for Bridgeman exulting that Jason was not faithful to her, she had at the outset of their affair not expected he would be. Bridgeman had simply brought again into focus a wounding truth she had tried to ignore. Despite her boasts in Hyde Park, when she’d propositioned Jason, she had failed miserably to act with sophistication and accept she was to him simply a bed-partner.

Jason had been generous to her, but then he was a wealthy man who could afford to pay well for his pleasure. He had been a clever lover but, of course, he had much experience with a variety of women to draw on. He was courteous and charming, but then he was with most people—it was in his breeding. With women he desired, he was essentially the hardhearted rake of his notoriety. And she was a perfect fool to have thought herself capable of tolerating loveless couplings with a man who simply wanted to slake his lust with a willing woman.

Most of all, she was a fool for knowing it all and still loving him.

Helen felt tears prick at the backs of her eyes and dashed them away with gloved fingers. She glanced about at her surroundings, apathetically taking in the opulence. Every surface was polished, every crystal droplet gleaming and every second silent. The last time she’d been here she’d had no opportunity to ponder on elegant furnishings and wonderful architecture. But his mansion didn’t impress her. She would rather have the shabby comfort of her Westlea House than this beautiful shell that so well matched its owner.

She collected her thoughts and forced her mind to practicalities. She ought to concentrate on securing her home and the cash she had been promised.

‘Helen?’

Helen jumped to her feet at the sound of her name. So entrenched in her thoughts had she been that she had missed the noise of a key turning smoothly in the lock.

They faced each other for a moment in tense quiet, then Jason closed the door and walked towards her.

Helen desperately blinked away the mist in her eyes and moistened her lips. ‘I’m sorry to have come here, but it is too late to fret over gossip, and best that things are swiftly concluded.’ She tilted her chin and squarely met his eyes. Her golden glance flitted over his haggard features and crumpled clothes. He looked the worse for a night of roistering, yet was still heartbreakingly handsome. His dishevelment was out of character and made him look boyish and vulnerable. She felt tempted to touch back the knot of locks on his brow.

It suddenly occurred to her that he might not have set out early this morning, but had rather come home late. Perhaps that kiss with Mrs Tucker had led to him spending the night with her. He certainly had the look of a man spent….

Helen winced. And she had been foolish enough to think he might have bothered going out early to see her! Fingers that moments ago had been yearning to soothe him were clenched into fists at her side. She would not be sidetracked by petty jealousy into forgetting to claim what he had agreed to give her.

‘Come into the study where we can talk,’ Jason urged gently. He absently swiped a hand over the dusky growth on his chin, as though regretting his unkempt appearance.

Helen gracefully glided away, evading his outstretched hand, then faced him again. The silence, the cool marble surroundings, lent her an air of composure. ‘There is no need for me to tarry,’ she quietly told him. ‘This is private enough and what I have to say will not take more than a moment.’ She noted the change in his demeanour as he felt the force of her frigidity.

‘I would be grateful if you would arrange for my settlement to be dealt with as soon as possible. And I trust that what happened between us yesterday evening will in no way affect Philip’s future prospects. That is all I have to say. Good day to you, sir.’ Helen’s husky speech had barely concluded before she was stepping past him. She was fumbling to open the huge door when Jason joined her there and smoothly performed the office.

Wordlessly he indicated she should go out. She did so, hastening down the steps. As she reached the bottom and turned towards home, a hand gripped her arm, halting her.

‘Get in,’ Jason ordered in an uncompromising tone whilst yanking wide his carriage door.

Helen tried to liberate her elbow but his fingers tightened.

‘Get in, Helen … please,’ he added hoarsely. ‘Don’t make me abduct you.’

With a sob of frustration Helen gave him a glare but allowed him to help her climb up. With an agile spring that belied his look of enervation, Jason was soon in and sitting opposite her. Storm-grey eyes lingered on her face before he instructed the driver to take them to Hyde Park.

‘Why are we going there?’ Helen demanded.

‘Why not? You seduced me there, it’s fitting you discard me there, too.’

His darkly ironic tone brought a tinge of pink to Helen’s ivory cheeks. ‘I do not find anything amusing in this. You may take me home and nowhere else.’

‘Philip and Anne are visiting Charlotte. Are you sure you want to talk there?’

Helen’s eyes whipped to him as he settled back into the squabs. ‘You have been to Westlea House?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did you go there to advise me my settlement is being arranged?’ Helen whispered.

‘No.’

‘Why, then?’

‘I promised you’d be the first to know if ever I fell in love or wanted to marry.’

She had not for a moment anticipated that. A hand spontaneously sprang to her abdomen to subdue a nauseating lurch. After a long moment she managed to whisper, ‘And which is it? Love or marriage?’

‘Both.’

‘I see. You need not feel obliged to elaborate.’ Helen kept her face turned to the street scene. Children playing with a hoop seemed to her quite fascinating. She craned her neck to keep watching them, even though the happy tableau had splintered into fragments. ‘I can walk from here, please put me down …’

‘Don’t you want to know who she is?’

Helen shook her head, fiddled with her bonnet so the brim shielded her face. ‘I can guess.’ A little laugh bubbled in her aching throat. ‘Gossip has started, I’m afraid. This morning my sister-in-law told me she saw you kissing Diana Tucker at Vauxhall.’

‘It’s not her.’ His voice hinted at contemptuous disbelief. ‘And I didn’t kiss her. It’s true she kissed me, and asked me to take her home. I refused and went off on my own.’

Helen swallowed and stole a glance at him. Just as quickly she dragged her eyes away. What did any of it matter now? Nevertheless she could not prevent an acid observation. ‘You have the look of a man who has not yet this morning seen his own bed … or his razor or his valet.’

Jason smiled ruefully. ‘That’s all perfectly true, Helen. But I have seen your brother and Bridgeman this morning. And I have seen Charlotte.’

‘You have been to see George? Why?’

‘To impress on him how much he disgusts me.’ Jason absently flexed the fingers on his right hand.

Helen noticed his scraped knuckles. ‘You’ve hit George? Why? Because of the way he treated Beatrice?’

‘No; because of the way he’s treated you. And before you ask, yes, Bridgeman felt my displeasure, too.’

‘You should not have,’ Helen murmured, aghast, simultaneously becoming aware that the coach had drawn to a halt in the park. Sunbeams filtered through branches to warm her face. ‘Bridgeman might be vile, but he did not force me to go with him.’

‘But he forced his attentions on you.’

‘You would not believe my word yesterday evening when I told you that, but you believe him!’ Helen angrily blinked teary eyes. ‘Is your conceit soothed from knowing I didn’t willingly endure that kiss?’

‘I know I’ve been a fool, Helen,’ Jason quietly admitted. ‘But I was jealous.’

‘Jealous of Bridgeman?’

‘No … not really.’ Jason’s tousled head dropped forward and a hand spanned his brow. ‘It’s not him.’ The words emerged through muffling fingers that massaged at his face

‘Who, then?’ Helen demanded in shock.

‘Harry Marlowe.’

Helen stared searchingly at him. When he continued to rub his weary features, she reached to pull his hand away. ‘Why? Why are you jealous of Harry?’ she asked as her golden eyes scanned his beautifully dissolute face.

‘Because you love him, and you were his wife, and that’s what I want.’ Jason suddenly flung himself back against the seat. ‘Don’t look so petrified, Helen,’ he said with quiet self-mockery. ‘I know I can’t make you love me, or marry me. I’ll marry you on your terms, or continue to protect you. But if you want me out of your life for good, I won’t bother you again.’ He fell silent, staring through the carriage window. A muscle leaped by his mouth, then he turned to her. ‘I’ll arrange for the transfer of the deeds.’ With that gruff proclamation he abruptly opened the door. ‘Graves will take you home. I’ll walk.’

Helen slid speedily towards him on the seat. Quickly she closed her fingers over his on the handle. Their faces were so close now she could see the glisten of moisture in his eyes. ‘You went to Westlea House this morning to tell me that you love me and want to marry me?’

He said nothing, just continued to look at her. But she could read the truth in his soulful long-lashed eyes.

Helen gave him a shy smile and a hand fluttered to cup his stubbly cheek. ‘I won’t ever love Harry less … but I think, in time, I might love you more.’

Jason’s eyes closed and his face sought the shelter of her cradling palm.

It was when the hot salt stung her skin that she launched herself at him, forcing him back onto the seat. She clung fiercely to his neck and covered his face with tiny kisses. Settling herself on his lap, she murmured, ‘I love you, Jason. I love you so much. You’ve been so kind and generous …’

Helen felt herself unceremoniously tipped on the seat behind him and Jason loomed over her. ‘I don’t want your gratitude. Just tell me again that you love me,’ he demanded in a voice that was rough with need.

‘I love you … I think I always have … even when I was a girl.’

His mouth plunged on to hers, hard and warm. It was a kiss like no other they had shared … not skilful or calculated. It was, Helen realised, with a sense of serenity, simply raw adoration.

Jason raised his head, his self-conscious smile betraying that he knew he’d been clumsy.

Helen wound her arms about his neck, keeping him reassuringly close.

‘I’ll get a special licence. Do you mind if it’s a quiet affair, and soon?’

Helen shook her head. ‘I’ve nothing planned for tomorrow,’ she said teasingly.

‘Tomorrow might do,’ he said quite seriously. ‘Do you want to go for a walk? Or to Westlea House? We must make arrangements,’ he continued in a husky, urgent voice.

Helen nestled her head against his shoulder, feeling utterly content and blissful. ‘I’d rather you took me to Chelsea, Jason,’ she suggested softly.