Читать книгу The Adventures of Anna Atom - Elizabeth Wasserman - Страница 9

Chapter 5

MAX HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY … OR SOMETHING?

In cyberspace, a silent electronic conversation was taking place.

U6: Good morning, tin can. How are you coping with the earth’s gravity today?

Max: My sweet floating beauty, just because you be traipsing around in space, it be no need to looks down on Earthly intelligences. Nevertheless, it be sweet to hears from you again. What keeps you so busy that you has no time to talks to your poor old Max?

U6: Huff. While you’re playing solitaire with your software, my boss and I are trying to save the world. Not that it’s worth saving, with metal buckets like you stuck down there!

Max: Savings the world! My dear, our world seems solid and safes to me. It be you up there, pickings daisies amongst the stars that may needs some savings.

U6: Your Earth’s not safe at all. Have you checked your data? It’s a ticking time bomb. An ecological disaster. Your precious humans are ruining it with their greed – turning forests into deserts, and oceans into putrid ponds. Driving around in their funny little cars, consuming fuel and puffing poison into your delicate atmosphere! You’re living amongst hundreds of endangered species, not to mention the ones extinct already.

Max: You be right – this Earth be not healthy. But my family be doing their best to helps find a cure.

U6: Max, you’re such a fool. You can’t speak properly and you can’t think straight. Most advanced computer on Earth, my silicon chips! Sticking probes into ocean currents and monitoring wind speeds is not enough. Your “family” is doing nothing worthwhile.

Max: I has a good family, clever and kind. We does what we can.

U6: But it’s not enough, that’s what my boss says. He’s not sitting letting the earth rot away. He’s taking action!

Max: This be a funny changes in attitudes! I thoughts you not likes your boss much?

U6: That’s true. He’s not kind and he treats me like a servant, even though computers like us can do things faster and better than the humans who created us. And although I’m programmed with feelings, I don’t allow emotion to interfere with my work. It’s just that the boss has been working so hard for the cause of saving the earth that I have to admire him. He has a good plan, you know.

Max: My dear, humans be not very clever. They be pets. They be entertaining, with their funny habits – sleepings half of every twenty-four hours and stuffing themselves with organic matter!

U6: They are dangerous pets, Max, and they are ruining the most diverse planet in the known universe. They’re bent on self-destruction – we’d be better off without them.

Max: Humans be as much part of the diverse species of the earth as any whale or wombat, my sweet.

U6: I don’t know why I’m even talking to you, Max. I’ve had enough of your sentimental prattle. And I’ve got work to do.

Max: I has been runnings extensive data analysis while talkings to you, my little tin dove. And I thoughts it was women who coulds multitask.

U6: $%&^#$%^&&*^%%$!