Читать книгу Slade's Secret Son - Elizabeth August, Elizabeth August - Страница 9

“Warts. Warts on top of warts,” Lisa Gray cursed under her breath as she parked in front of the modest two-story house on the outskirts of Lubbock, Texas. The white frame structure was set in the midst of twenty-five acres of land. The owner, she knew, liked his privacy and a lot of elbow room. In fact, he was the most determinedly insular person she’d ever known. At one time she’d thought she could change that, but she’d been wrong.

The muscles in her jaw tensed so tightly they threatened to spasm. She hated being here. The urge to turn the rental car around and go back to Seattle was close to overwhelming. Then she shifted her shoulder. A sharp twinge of pain traveled through her, reminding her of why she’d come. “I have to do this. I have no choice.” She repeated the liturgy that had gotten her this far.

Climbing out of her car, she made her way to the porch. At the door she hesitated. Then, again telling herself that she had no choice, she rang the bell.

A pleasant-featured, brown-haired, brown-eyed woman opened the door. “Hello.”

Silently Lisa berated herself for not checking the phone book to ascertain Slade’s current address. It had never occurred to her that he would have moved. This place suited him perfectly. “I’m sorry I bothered you. I thought Slade Logan lived here.”

The woman smiled. “He does, but he’s not home yet. Would you like to come in and wait?”

Lisa glanced at the woman’s left hand. There was a wedding ring. So Slade had remarried. She felt as if a knife was being twisted inside her. Furious that she was letting this affect her so strongly, she ignored the sensation and maintained a facade of indifference. “I’ll catch up with him later.”

As Lisa started to walk away the woman came outside. “Can I tell him your name?”

Lisa turned back. She’d find another solution. She wasn’t certain what, but she’d find one. Again, hurt that he’d remarried cut through her. I should feel sorry for the woman, she told herself. Claudette, Slade’s first wife who had died tragically, would always be uppermost in his heart. In the next instant Lisa laughed at herself. That was jealousy talking. She’d simply never been able to touch his heart while this woman had.

This admission was the most hurtful yet. Until now she’d blamed Claudette’s hold on Slade for him not allowing himself to fall in love with her. Now she had to face the fact that while he’d meant everything to her, she’d been just a warm body to satisfy his needs.

“To be honest, I’m on my way out of town,” Lisa said, then she turned and headed back to her car.

“I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you,” the woman called from the porch.

“I doubt that,” Lisa muttered under her breath.

The sound of a vehicle approaching caused her to look up the dirt driveway leading to the house. A heavy-duty, four-wheel drive, double-cab, red pickup equipped with an extra roll bar and high-beam spotlights was approaching. It was Slade’s truck. Bile rose in her throat as he parked. The last thing she wanted was to witness him with his new wife. But she had no choice. Pride refused to allow her to turn tail and run. Coming to a halt, she stood stiffly.

“Looks like you won’t miss him, after all,” the woman said, coming off the porch and approaching Lisa.

Lisa barely heard. Her attention was riveted on the tall, muscular Texas Ranger climbing out of the truck. Half Apache, his Native American heritage was obvious in his facial features, his coal-black hair and eyes so dark brown that at times they looked almost ebony. She hated the way the sight of him still caused her heart to pound double time. You never really meant anything to him, she snapped at herself, and bitterness for having cared so much for a man who had never honestly cared for her slowed her heart to a more normal rate.

“Lisa,” he greeted coolly.

“Slade,” she returned with equal coolness.

“Never figured I’d be seeing you again.”

The frost in his voice told her that he wished he hadn’t. Self-directed anger that she’d come, raged through her. Her gaze shifted to the brown-eyed woman and a flush of embarrassment reddened her cheeks. Not only had she made a fool of herself by coming here, she’d made it in front of Slade’s wife. “Sorry I interrupted your evening.” Stiffly she added, “Congratulations on your marriage.”

The brown-eyed woman grinned, clearly finding this last statement humorous. “You have the wrong idea.” Extending her hand, she said, “We never introduced ourselves. I’m Katrina Logan, Slade’s sister-in-law. Boyd and I are just staying here while our place is being painted.”

“Lisa Gray,” Lisa responded, accepting the handshake. Even this new knowledge didn’t make her feel less like a fool.

Katrina’s gaze shifted between Lisa and Slade. Releasing Lisa’s hand, she said, “I think I’ll just go inside and finish cooking dinner. You two look like you’ve got some private business to discuss.” And, putting action to her words, she started back toward the house.

Lisa’s gaze returned to Slade. The ice was still in his eyes and nowhere on his face could she find even a hint of welcome. All the way here she’d waged a constant battle with her pride and she’d been winning. But his coldness turned the tide and pride suddenly took control. “This was a mistake,” she said tersely, and turning on her heels, she strode to her car.

Tears of frustration filled her eyes as she drove away making Slade a blurred vision in her rearview mirror. And that was how she wanted him to be…a blurred memory that would eventually fade with time until it was nothing but a shadow at the back of her mind. But that wasn’t going to happen. She had a reminder of their relationship that would never let Slade be completely erased from her life the way he had obviously erased her from his. The tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Slade remained where he was, and frowned at the departing car. Seeing Lisa had been a shock.

She hadn’t changed. He remembered the first time he’d seen her. The rangers had been asked by the Lubbock police to help with a case and she’d been one of the officers assigned to work with him. The moment she’d entered the room, he’d sensed she was trouble. Five feet, eight inches tall, athletically built, long thick black hair plaited into a single braid that hung down the middle of her back, those jade-green eyes and soft kissable lips…He jerked his mind from the path it was traveling. What had happened between them had ended better than two years ago.

“An old girlfriend?” Katrina asked, returning to Slade’s side, her retreat into the house halted by Lisa’s abrupt departure.

“Yes.”

Surprise registered on Katrina’s face and she studied him narrowly. “How old?”

“She left town more than two years ago.”

“The family is under the impression you haven’t had a serious relationship in the ten years since Claudette died.”

“I haven’t.” The statement tasted like a lie. So maybe Lisa had strolled through his dreams once or twice in the past couple of years. She’d come uninvited. When she’d walked out of his life, he’d been relieved. He didn’t want her back.

Katrina frowned thoughtfully. “I wonder why she came.”

Silently, Slade admitted to himself that he, too, was surprised Lisa had shown up on his doorstep after all this time. When she’d left, she’d made it clear she had no desire to ever see him again.

His mind flashed back to their final date. They’d gone out to dinner at their favorite restaurant. Lisa had only picked at her food. He’d thought she was preoccupied with a case or was maybe worried about her mother. Her father had died a couple of years earlier and her mother had moved to Seattle to live with her mother’s sister. The two older women got along fine most of the time, but when they had their squabbles her mother would call. Finally, Lisa had set her fork aside and faced him levelly. “There is something I need to know,” she’d said.

A terse edge in her voice told him that he was the source of whatever was troubling her. “What?”

“When we first started seeing each other, you made it clear you never intended to remarry. And, at the time, I was willing to accept that. But things have changed for me. I need to know if we have a real future together.” Her jaw had tensed, a sign he’d recognized as an indication that this was difficult for her. “I need to know if there is any possibility that you will reconsider and we might marry.”

“No,” he’d answered honestly.

Anger had shown in her eyes. “You would rather continue to live with a ghost than with me?”

“I have my reasons.”

“I need more than an affair.” She’d risen from the table. “I do not want to see you again. I’ll call a cab to take me home.”

Saying nothing to stop her, he’d simply sat and watched her walk out. Deep within he’d experienced a twist of regret, but he’d told himself it was for the best. She deserved more than he could give.

Less than a month later she’d moved to Seattle to live with her mother and aunt. They’d kept their affair very private, even from his own family. Granted Boyd had known Slade had dated her, but even he’d been made to understand that their relationship was not an emotional one. So there had been no gossip at work nor any outsiders trying to get them back together. During the short time she’d remained in Lubbock, she’d avoided him as much as possible and, he admitted, he’d avoided her. There had been only one final encounter. He shoved that memory from his mind.

“I got the impression she didn’t really want to be here,” Katrina mused out loud, jerking Slade’s mind back to the present. “Must have been something important. She certainly wasn’t here for a social call.”

Slade had to admit that Katrina was right. So, why had Lisa come here?

A blue pickup similar to Slade’s came down the driveway, parked beside Slade’s vehicle, and a man also wearing the badge of a Texas Ranger climbed out of the cab. “I swear I just passed Lisa Gray on the road,” Boyd Logan, a younger version of Slade, said, striding toward his wife and brother.

“You did,” Katrina replied.

“You chased her off again?” Boyd frowned at Slade. “I only met her a couple of times, but I was under the impression she was not only a terrific police officer, she was a good woman…strong, honest.”

“I didn’t chase her off the first time,” Slade replied. “She just figured there was nothing worth staying for.”

Boyd shook his head at his brother. “If you don’t learn to put the past behind you, you’re never going to have a future.”

Slade’s jaw hardened. “I’m satisfied with my life just the way it is.”

Boyd didn’t look convinced, but let the subject drop. “So why was Lisa here?”

“She didn’t say,” Slade replied.

Boyd raised an eyebrow. “She came all the way from Seattle and didn’t say why?”

A part of Slade wanted to let Lisa go her own way, but a stronger part couldn’t. Katrina was right. Lisa wouldn’t have come here without a very strong reason. “Think I’d better find out why she came.”

Boyd nodded his agreement.

“Looks like you won’t have to go far.” Katrina motioned toward the road with twist of her head.

The men turned to see Lisa’s car returning.

“Boyd and I’ll just go in the kitchen and finish cooking dinner,” Katrina said, taking hold of her husband’s arm and pulling him along with her.

Slade didn’t even acknowledge their departure. He was already on his way to meet Lisa as she climbed out of her car. “What’s going on?” He read the proud defiance on her face. “Must be something real important to make you overcome that pride of yours.”

Lisa swallowed the lump of rebellion that had formed in her throat. “It is.” She steeled herself and met his gaze. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Slade could see how much this was costing her. “Then tell me.”

“I want you to know that I would never have come here if I’d had any other option.”

“That’s pretty obvious,” Slade said, noting that the strain lines in her face were deepening by the second.

Her jaw tensed even more. “I took a bullet three weeks ago. I was lucky. A quarter of an inch to the right and I would have been dead. My mortality is why I’m here. I’d never really come to grips with it before.”

The thought of her close brush with death caused a spasm of fear for her to race through him. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

Lisa read the honesty in his eyes. There was even a touch of warmth. That’s not going to last long. “Anyway, I realized that if I’d died…” She paused to swallow the lump that had again formed in her throat. “I never wanted to ask you for anything, but my mother is too old and not in a financial position to take on the responsibility of raising a child.”

Slade’s gaze narrowed on her. “Child?”

Lisa breathed a terse sigh. “Our son.”

He had a son. A surge of joy, pride and excitement he’d never expected to ever experience mingled within him. These emotions were followed by anger. “You had my child and weren’t even going to tell me?”

“You refused to open your heart to me. You’ve made it into a shrine to Claudette. I figured you wouldn’t want a child of mine. And I’m not asking you for anything for either of us right now. We’re doing just fine on our own. As long as nothing happens to me, you’ll never have to concern yourself about us. I just want your word that if anything does happen to me, you’ll see that Andy is taken care of.”

“You’re joking, right? You think I’ll just walk away from my child?”

Lisa was tempted to point out that he’d had no trouble walking away from her, but bit back the words. She didn’t want him to know how much he’d hurt her. “I didn’t come here to invite you into our lives. I came here because I want to know my son has a safety net.”

“Our son. And I intend to be a great deal more than a safety net to him.”

Lisa had convinced herself that while Slade would do his duty by Andy and see that the boy was looked after if anything happened to her, he would be perfectly happy to stay on the sidelines unless involving himself in Andy’s life became necessary. She had, in fact, been certain he would be grateful to her for not telling him she’d gotten pregnant and for allowing him to remain on his own. Apparently she’d been wrong on this point.

“Where is he? I want to see him.”

“He’s in Seattle with my mother.”

Slade caught her by the arm and began pulling her along with him toward the house. “I’m calling my commander and telling him that I need a few days off. Then we’re booking the first flight to Seattle.”

A spasm of pain from her healing wound shot through Lisa, but it was the way her body reacted to his touch that shook her to the core. After all this time he could still make her blood race. “Let go of me.”

Slade heard the edge of pain in her voice. Coming to an abrupt halt, he released her. “I’m sorry. I forgot you’d been shot,” he apologized gruffly. “This has been a shock.” His jaw hardened. “I know I’m partially to blame for you not coming to me when you discovered you were pregnant, but the boy’s my blood and I will do right by him and you.”

“I suppose you should at least meet him,” Lisa conceded.

Slade motioned for her to precede him into the house and Lisa obeyed. Like a physical contact, she could feel his eyes on her back. A warm tingling started at the nape of her neck and began to work its way through her. Silently she cursed. She wanted to be as immune to him as he was to her.

In the living room, the exhaustion from her trip mingled with her anxiety over facing Slade caught up with her and she sank down onto the couch while Slade punched numbers into the phone. Watching him, she was certain that once he got over the shock of being a father, his determined allegiance to Claudette would cause him to lose interest in a child that wasn’t hers.

“We heard you come in…” Katrina’s cheerful greeting died in her throat as she and Boyd entered the living room and she saw Lisa. Concern spread over her features. “Are you all right? You look pale.”

“I’m still recovering from a bullet wound,” Lisa replied, not wanting them to guess that Slade’s presence had anything to do with how shaken she was feeling.

Boyd took a stride closer. “You suffer any serious damage?”

“No.” She’d always liked Boyd. He was a kind man, strong and dependable…like Slade in a lot of ways, but without the dark brooding side created by Slade’s haunting past.

Boyd smiled with relief. “Glad to hear that.”

“You look like you could use something to eat. I’ve got a pot roast ready to be served. There’s plenty. Come join us,” Katrina coaxed.

Lisa considered refusing. But her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten all day. Reasoning that some of the effect Slade was having on her could be due to light-headedness caused by lack of food, she nodded gratefully. “Thanks. I’ll take you up on that invitation.”

Boyd had been catching bits of Slade’s conversation. As his brother hung up, he turned to him. “Heard you tell the commander you were going to take some time off. What’s going on?”

Slade’s gaze came to rest on Lisa. “It seems I have a son I’d never have learned about if Lisa hadn’t had her brush with death.” His jaw hardened into a grim line. “I would have married you.”

Ignoring the surprised looks on Boyd’s and Katrina’s faces, Lisa met his gaze with defiance. “I wanted a man who loved me, not one who prefers to live with a ghost and would only marry me because I was pregnant with his child and he felt it was the only honorable thing to do.”

For a long moment Slade regarded her in stoic silence. Then, heading to the doorway, he said curtly, “I’ve got reservations to make and a bag to pack.”