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CLUB TIMES

For Members’ Eyes Only

Dr. Sweetheart and flying snail shells…

Nothing makes me giddier than a man who appreciates a good joke. And Dr. Jared Cross certainly made my heart go pitter-pat when he listened to me tell the one about the rabbi, the priest, the go-go dancer and the nun. I got a little lost in my story while staring at his wild green eyes and gleaming smile. I kept thinking that Dr. Cross needed a good woman—someone to ruffle up his hair and give him some roses to smell. And then I forgot the punch line.

Harvey Small wanted me to announce that he’s giving etiquette classes on Tuesday nights. I won’t mention that Harv slammed the door in my face last week. Then again, maybe he didn’t enjoy my exposé on country club managers and hair loss. Make sure to bring an extra plastic fork and your escargot equipment for each class. And please leave the kids at home. The class was reprimanded for beaning Ford Carson with empty snail shells.

Time to run! Gotta go catch famous heiress Melanie Tourbier, who’s just arrived and made a beeline for Dr. Cross’s office. Wonder what that could be about!

Make the Lone Star Country Club your private getaway. The Jacuzzi’s waiting….