Читать книгу Midnight Cravings - Elizabeth Harbison - Страница 7

1. Select the best man you can find and brush him carefully to rid him of indifference. Be careful not to beat him as you would an egg or cream, for that will make him tough and apt to froth at the mouth.

2. Lift him gently into the home-preserving kettle and tie him with strong cords of affection. Do not sear with sarcasm, for that causes spitting and sputtering, which may result in spontaneous combustion. Scramble when difficulties arise.

3. Do not soak him in liquor. Excessive draughts make him mushy and spongy with your friends, and in the Deep South, stewed husbands have never been popular.

4. Let him simmer at will. Stuff him one hour before taking him out or before asking a great favor of him.

5. Flavor with an oil of happiness, one ounce of understanding and a bushel of fun and laughter.

6. Should he seem weak or troubled with feminine infatuations, smother him in onions and garlic, and treble your charm.

7. Do not spoil him with overindulgence, but serve him daily on a platter of strength and courage, garnished with clean shirts and trousers.