Читать книгу Unbreakable - Elizabeth Norris, Elizabeth Norris - Страница 13

he interstates are cracked, collapsed, half fallen, and unstable, so we take back roads. They’ve been cleared, but they’re not in good shape. I hold on to the “oh shit” handle as we drive to keep my body from slamming into the door. We don’t talk, because the headlights only allow Deirdre to see about ten feet of road in front of her. The ride is bumpy, slow, and dark.

We pass through the first military checkpoint at Aero Drive and then the one at Balboa Avenue without incident.

Each time, Deirdre stops the car and it’s the same routine. A Marine with a machine gun strapped over his shoulder shines a flashlight into the car. Deirdre holds up both our IDs, and when we’re recognized, the Marine nods and waves us through.

While we drive, I avoid looking out the window. It’s dark, so it’s not like I could really see anything. But I know what’s there. I know the Walmart on Aero Drive survived the quakes with minimal damage, only to be destroyed by the looting. It’s too easy to remember the last time I was there. The crunch of broken glass under my feet, the thick smoke, the smell of fire and burning plastic, and the body of the dead pregnant woman, killed by blunt-force trauma to the back of the head.

It’s much too easy to remember. Every time I close my eyes, I wish I could forget.

Around Balboa, there are some houses still standing and some that are at least inhabitable—but for the most part, everything is different. It doesn’t hurt any less to drive by neighborhoods that are flattened, to see debris where there used to be structures.

It hurts to think that I can hardly remember what it looked like before.

I keep my eyes closed and try to think about nothing—absolutely nothing. I will my mind to keep itself blank. But it’s black, like a black hole, like a portal, and suddenly I can see Ben, his dark eyes and his soft brown hair. I can see the look on his face when he said, “I’ll come back for you.” When he took one more step back and promised. When he stopped, said my name, told me he loved me, and then the portal swallowed him into the blackness.

Aching and a little breathless, I press the heels of my hands into my eyes hard, as if that will somehow get rid of the memory.