Читать книгу The Bookshop on Rosemary Lane: The feel-good read perfect for those long winter nights - Ellen Berry - Страница 11

Della could forgive Mark’s air of mild grumpiness because that was just him: a hardworking fifty-two-year-old man who tended towards jadedness but was still capable of small acts of kindness, like the way he had started to bring her coffee in bed every Saturday and Sunday morning.

‘Thanks, darling,’ she said, registering the time on the bedside clock – 7.47 a.m. – as he handed her her favourite mug. ‘You golfing today?’

‘Yep, leaving in a minute. Lovely morning so we’re having an early start before the riff-raff show up.’ He chuckled. ‘You have a lie in. You’ve had an exhausting time lately, you look really tired …’ Gee, thanks, Della thought, suppressing a smirk.

‘I can’t today. I’m working.’

‘Oh, I thought you’d finished doing Saturdays?’

‘So did I,’ she said with a shrug, ‘but Liliana’s gone back to Poland so we’re short-staffed.’ In fact, she had already told him this, but clearly the information hadn’t sunk in.

She sat up and sipped from her mug. Although Della appreciated the gesture, the weekend coffee delivery had only started a few weeks ago, and after nineteen years of marriage it had been a surprising turn of events. Mark was so particular about it, too, deciding to abandon their cafetière for an Italian espresso maker that sat on the hob. ‘Richer flavour,’ he’d explained. Ground coffee had been swapped for beans, requiring the purchase of an electric grinder that Della was forbidden from using for spices. ‘How good can coffee be?’ she’d laughed, when, having decided their perfectly acceptable Yorkshire tap water wasn’t up to scratch, he’d brought home a jug filter in which to purify it for her morning brew.

‘If you’re going to have coffee,’ Mark replied, ‘it should be as enjoyable as possible.’ Della smiled, knowing this was what made him so respected as a podiatrist: he cared about details. She’d lost count of the times his patients had stopped her in town and told her how fantastic he’d been, taking time to discuss their lifestyle and footwear choices instead of giving their cracked heel a perfunctory poke and sending them out with a tube of cream.

Like the morning coffee, golf was a relatively new thing too. He had mooted the idea in late spring and, before she knew it, he was off to the course every Saturday. Della could understand the appeal of certain aspects: being outdoors on a bright, breezy morning in the company of friends. But the actual game seemed lacking in action, in her opinion. The ones she enjoyed were of the fast, shouty type: quizzes and board games played at Christmas, with dishes of nuts and crisps, and a glass of chilled white wine to hand. The kind of games that didn’t require a whacking great bag of clubs to be dragged around on wet grass for four hours. Fifteen clubs, Mark had amassed, at the last count. Couldn’t he make do with three or four? (Although Della knew she could hardly quiz him about this, now that she owned 962 cookbooks.) He had also bought golf shoes, a visor, a peaked cap, an umbrella and a special towel for cleaning his clubs. Where hobbies were concerned, Mark was an accessories person.

She swung out of bed and caught him glancing at her body as if it were somehow inappropriate for her to stroll naked across their bedroom. When had he started looking at her that way? At some point, without her really noticing at the time, he seemed to have started regarding her like a mildly irritating housemate. She couldn’t remember the last time they had been out to dinner together – or kissed properly, like lovers – and now, with Sophie about to leave home, this was something she had to address. Of course it was possible to feel close again; they would soon be undisturbed, completely free to do whatever they wanted. She pulled on her towelling dressing gown and belted it tightly, lest it should flap open and, God forbid, some flesh should be exposed.

Mark’s newest acquisition – a gleaming putter, for practising his shots on their bedroom carpet – was propped up beside the door. It was wearing a little black leather hat. ‘Very saucy,’ Della had remarked when she’d first seen it.

‘It’s to protect the head,’ Mark replied, deliberately missing her attempt at a joke. She padded to the bathroom. Of course he needed an outlet, she decided under the shower’s invigorating blast, being faced with gnarly old feet every day of his working life. All those verrucas, calluses and fungal toenails: no one consulted Mark Sturgess if they had perfectly pretty, well-functioning feet. And never mind the visual aspect: the smell, she imagined, must bother him sometimes. ‘You get used to it,’ he’d said, soon after they’d met when, rather immaturely, she’d asked whether particularly stinky feet ever made him feel ill.

Della glanced down at her own feet in the shower. They were well tended, although by her and not Mark. If anything, he seemed averse to hers – although perhaps that wasn’t so surprising. Expecting him to lavish attention upon her recurring corn would be like being married to a chef and demanding that he rustle up dinner for her after a gruelling shift at his restaurant. When she’d experienced a more serious problem – plantar faciitis, a painful inflammation of the sole and heel – he’d merely told her to rest it, adding, ‘For God’s sake, Dell, don’t go running anymore. It’s not for you. You’re not built for speed.’

Ouch, that terrible phrase! As if she were an ageing carthorse ready to be shunted off to a sanctuary to spend the rest of her days munching oats. She surveyed her pillowy stomach as water cascaded down it, and told herself she was merely voluptuous, like those luscious ladies in Renaissance paintings – not fat. A few months ago she had taken up running with Freda, who was enviably lithe and supple and only accompanying Della for moral support. Della had been determined to lose weight, to fit into the dress she had in mind for her fiftieth birthday party: foxy, drapey, in a brilliant cobalt blue. She had already bought it, confident that by the time she shed a few pounds, it would fit her perfectly.

Buying a dress to slim into: by her age, she should have known better. The plantar issue had soon put paid to running and the dress had still been too tight; now, three months after her raucous party in the King’s Arms, Della was a generous size 16. She turned off the shower. ‘I’m off in a minute, okay?’ Mark called out from the landing.

‘Okay, love.’ By the time she had briskly dried herself and stepped back into their bedroom, the shiny new putter – and Mark – had gone.

The sky was pale grey, and it was drizzling, but poor weather never put him off a Saturday game. With Sophie still to emerge from her room, the house felt still and quiet as Della dressed in the semi-uniform of cream shirt and knee-length black skirt that she was encouraged to wear for work. Four days since Kitty’s funeral, it was her first day back at the shop. She was ready for it, for catching up with her colleagues and putting on her public face, and while she wasn’t too keen on her rather staid outfit, Della strongly believed in the transformative power of make-up. At seventeen, she had discovered how a little colour could bring her rather nondescript face to life, and even now she still experienced a glow of pleasure on applying her customary flicks of black eyeliner, plus two coats of mascara to give her naturally lavish lashes an extra boost. Della’s eyes were startling – a deep chocolatey-brown, like Sophie’s. She twisted up her favourite lipstick – Estee Lauder, a gorgeous red. Della loved its name: Impassioned. Ha, she thought, carefully outlining her lips with pencil before slicking it on: that was a joke. She pictured Mark glancing at her naked body just twenty minutes ago, as if he dearly wished she still wore her fleecy PJs, buttoned up to the neck.

Anyway, Impassioned was now perfectly in place and Della was ready, if not for passion, certainly for selling plastic jewel-encrusted swords to excitable children in the castle shop.

‘You awake, darling?’ she called through Sophie’s closed bedroom door.

‘Mmmuh,’ came the muttered reply.

Della gave the door a polite knock and pushed it open. Sophie was in bed, dark hair fanned across her pale cheek. ‘I’m off to work, love. Back just after five.’ Della paused. ‘Actually, no, I think I’ll pop down to Gran’s after work, just check everything’s okay.’

‘Mmm, all right …’ Sophie said sleepily.

‘Dad’s golfing, but he should be home early afternoon. There’s fresh pasta and a pot of sauce in the fridge. Could the two of you have that for dinner?’

‘Yeah, no problem.’ A pause, then Sophie turned slowly towards her, as if the movement required gargantuan effort. ‘Are those books still there?’

Della frowned. ‘You mean Gran’s cookbooks?’

‘Yeah.’

‘They are, love, unless we’ve been burgled during the night, and Dad probably would’ve mentioned that on his way out.’

Sophie chuckled. ‘’Cause obviously, they’re the first thing a burglar would take.’

‘You might be surprised. We could be sitting on a goldmine, you know.’

‘Yeah, well, better keep them for me then, for when I’m living in a garret with nothing but bread and … what was that stuff again?’

‘Margarine?’

‘No, the meat grease.’

‘Oh, you mean dripping.’ Della laughed.

‘Yeah, dripping in a garret. I’m really looking forward to that.’ Della glanced once more at her sleepy daughter, then around the messy bedroom with its bold magenta walls. Mark had conceded that Sophie could choose her own paint colour, probably as he was so rarely in the room. In fact, most of the magenta was concealed by wonkily Blu-tacked posters depicting bands Della knew only vaguely, plus an arty one (a scratchy illustration of a girl’s head with crosses for eyes).

‘Mum?’

Della turned back to her daughter. ‘What, love?’

‘Stop pulling that face. I know what you’re thinking. Evie says her mum’s the same.’ She smiled cheekily, and Della felt something twisting inside her.

‘What am I thinking?’

‘You know. You’re doing that face again. Leeds isn’t that far away, you know.’

‘No, I know where Leeds is, honey.’ She couldn’t resist padding over to Sophie’s bed and giving her a hug.

Sophie rubbed at an eye and grinned. ‘It’s not as if I’m going to China.’

Della laughed. ‘Well, if you were, I’d be stowing away in your suitcase. You wouldn’t be able to get rid of me that easily.’ She kissed the top of her daughter’s head, then straightened up and checked her watch. ‘I’d better go. What are you up to today?’

Sophie shrugged. ‘Aw, I dunno.’

‘Seeing Liam?’

‘Mmmm … maybe.’ Ah, so Della’s hunch had been right. She knew better than to ask Sophie how her boyfriend felt about her leaving Heathfield in three days’ time. Whereas her girlfriends were heading off to uni or college – desperate to ‘live somewhere where things happen,’ as Sophie had put it – Liam seemed set to stay put, assisting his father in his joinery business. ‘I’ll probably just hang out with Evie,’ Sophie added. Just hang out. How lovely to enjoy these last few days together just dawdling around, Della reflected as she drove through steady rain – it was too wet to walk – towards the castle. She had never had much time for just hanging out with her friends. Even as a child, Della been the one Kitty had sent out on errands, because Burley Bridge was that sort of place: familiar and safe for children to wander, clutching their mothers’ shopping lists, which entailed visiting several shops (butcher’s, greengrocer’s, newsagent’s, haberdasher’s – in those days the village even had a fishmonger and an ice cream shop). Jeff was deemed too important to be sent out to buy butter and Roxanne tended to come home with the wrong kind of flour. After leaving school, Della had been cajoled by Kitty into doing a secretarial course: ‘Because you might not be the brightest button in the box, darling, but you’re extremely good at getting things done.’ Jeff had already left home and Roxanne, whose bedroom was by now papered with pages ripped out of Vogue, was set on a career in fashion. Della was still waiting, as if her true calling might flash before her in a dream.

She suspected Kitty had hoped that, once endowed with secretarial prowess, her eldest daughter would attract the attention of some wealthy businessman, and be safely off her hands. ‘You have the figure to be a secretary,’ she once remarked, as if large breasts and slender legs were all that was required.

Colin, Della’s first boss, had festooned her with illegible hand-written correspondence, which she was expected to type up immaculately. This was pre-computers, even pre-electric typewriters, at least at Belling & Doyle Lift Installations: ‘The dark ages,’ as Sophie laughingly referred to it, whenever Della described office life in the early 1980s. It was also pre-men realising that perhaps it wasn’t quite right to pat a secretary’s bottom as she walked by. When Della complained – actually, no, she merely barked, ‘What are you doing?’ – Colin scratched at his beer gut and said, ‘If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t go around looking like that.’

Della had rushed to the ladies’ where she surveyed her reflection in her neat grey pinafore dress and cried all her mascara off. Then she strode back to her desk, typed out GOING HOME WON’T BE BACK and, leaving the sheet of paper still wedged in her typewriter, did just that.

Afterwards Della had worked mainly with women, though not through any conscious choice; it had just happened that way. She was drawn to Heathfield’s sole veggie cafe due to her love of cooking, and after waitressing there for a year she ended up managing the place. When the owners sold up, she took a job at a florist’s and that’s where she met Mark, a dashing young man with a big, bright smile who needed an emergency bouquet for his mother’s birthday. ‘I forgot,’ he said, catching his breath as if he’d been running, ‘and it’s too late to post anything. Don’t suppose you could deliver to Tambury today?’

‘Of course we can,’ Della replied. ‘What kind of thing would you like?’

He looked at her for a few moments longer than necessary – time actually seemed to stand still – and she was conscious of every beat of her heart. ‘Er, anything really,’ he blustered. ‘Whatever you can, um, throw together. Um, I don’t mean throw, I mean carefully arrange, I’m sure you’ll do a lovely job …’ Feeling as if she had regressed to being sixteen years old – she was twenty-nine at the time – she assured him that she would indeed do her best.

In fact, Della reflected now, she would have somehow managed to find him fifty blue tulips – which don’t even exist in the natural world – so eager was she to help out the flustered stranger who had left her with a fistful of tenners and her head in a spin.

She pulled up into the castle car park, telling herself it was natural for things to become rather humdrum after over two decades together. But occasionally she wondered what had happened to the eager young man who’d come back to Fresh and Wild the next day and asked her out. She supposed he’d just grown up.

Had she, though? As she climbed out of her car and the castle came into view, Della supposed she had. She went to work, she was a mother – at least, as much as Sophie would allow it these days – and cheerfully handled the hordes of schoolchildren who hurled themselves into the castle shop, so grateful were they to have reached the end of their history lesson and be allowed to buy stuff.Two stout stone towers flanked the castle’s main entrance. The imposing archway led to a courtyard, the entrance to the grand hall and the obligatory tearoom and gift shop. Della waved to Georgia, who was manning the ticket office, and to Harry, who was brushing up copper beech leaves in the stone-flagged courtyard.

‘How are you, love?’ Angie greeted Della with a hug as she entered the shop.

‘I’m fine, honestly.’ Della pulled off her jacket and hung it on a hook in the back room. ‘I miss her, of course,’ she added. ‘It’s like, I don’t know …’ She shrugged. ‘A big gap, I suppose. I mean, we spent so much time together towards the end.’ Della cleared her throat. ‘But I’m just glad it all went smoothly, and it was good to see everyone together – all the people I knew from growing up, I mean.’

Angie nodded. ‘You must be shattered, being left to organise the whole thing.’

‘It was simpler that way,’ Della said truthfully.

Angie squeezed her hand. ‘Your poor mum.’

‘I know. All her life, not a single thing wrong with her. She’d never been to a hospital, not even to give birth – she had the three of us at home.’

‘Stoical,’ Angie laughed.

‘Yes, I guess she was. But I suspect she also wanted to do things precisely her way.’ It was true, Della decided; at home, Kitty could manage her births, barking commands to William and even the beleaguered midwife on duty (‘Your mother was very forthright in her wishes,’ William had told Della, when she had asked about the circumstances of her own birth). Only now did she realise how hard it must have been for Kitty to succumb to the routines of the hospice.

As no visitors had arrived yet, Della started to unpack a box of bendy plastic shields that would be as much use as floppy tortilla wraps in even the most mild-mannered battle. It seemed wrong that, while Heathfield Castle had stood for over nine hundred years, most of the souvenirs would barely last the car journey home. ‘Authentic’ tunics – fashioned from something like potato sacking, dyed silver – disintegrated at the first hint of energetic play. (Della knew this, having sent Isaac and Noah one each several birthdays ago.) Generic notebooks, rubbers and chocolate bars were emblazoned with the castle’s logo: a rather shabby drawing of the North Tower. But at least business was brisk as visitors began to drift in, which helped to take Della’s mind off Mark’s ill humour and Sophie’s imminent departure and, of course, what the heck she was going to do with her mother’s books.

By late morning the shop was milling with parents and grandparents and boisterous children. Two little girls launched into a full-scale scrap by the colouring books, and a mournful-looking boy seemed bitterly disappointed when his mother wouldn’t buy him an amethyst the size of a human head. ‘You can have this instead,’ she said, radiating fatigue as she brandished a bouncy ball that was supposed to resemble an eyeball (nothing medieval about that, as far as Della could make out).

‘So I guess you’ll be clearing out your mum’s house,’ Angie ventured, as the shop quietened down towards the end of the afternoon. ‘That’s going to be hard for you, Dell.’

She nodded. ‘I’m going to pop over after work and try to get my head around what needs to be done. It was tricky, with Roxanne, Jeff and Tamsin there.’

Angie pulled a sympathetic face. ‘I hope there’s no wrangling over your mum’s stuff? It’s just awful when that happens.’

‘No, I don’t think there will be. My sister-in-law’s bagged most of the jewellery already.’

‘No, that’s terrible!’

‘It’s fine,’ Della said firmly. ‘To be honest, Mum didn’t wear it much – at least, not after Dad left because he’d given her most of it.’ She paused. ‘I have taken her cookbook collection though.’

‘Oh, you can never have too many of those,’ Angie remarked, breaking off as a rather dishevelled man in a rain-speckled jacket tumbled into the shop, clutching the hand of a grumpy-looking boy of around eight years old.

‘Eddie, please stop moaning,’ the man exclaimed, throwing Angie and Della a quick look.

‘I wanted to go in the castle,’ the boy muttered. ‘You said the dungeons are haunted. Why can’t we just have a quick look?’

‘We will next time, okay?’ The man exhaled and raked back his light brown hair. Everything about him – the Toy Heaven carrier bag, the sadness in his soft grey eyes that suggested that today wasn’t turning out as he had hoped – said weekend dad.

‘You promised,’ the boy said crossly.

Della stepped towards them. ‘I’m sorry, the castle closes in five minutes.’

‘Yes, I realise that now,’ the man said with a rueful smile. ‘I’ve messed up my timings today.’

Della fixed Eddie with a bright smile. ‘The dungeon’s great, but you really need plenty of time to enjoy it properly. There are tours, you know. They turn the lights off and it’s really creepy.’

With his grumpiness subsiding, Eddie rubbed at his eyes. ‘Cool,’ he murmured.

‘So you should come back when there’s a tour on. That way, you’ll have a better chance of seeing a ghost.’

He regarded her intently. ‘Are there really ghosts here?’

Della paused. ‘Well, no one knows for sure. But there are plenty of stories about them.’

‘Who were they? The ghosts, I mean?’

‘Eddie, we really should be going,’ the man said, resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘These ladies will be closing the shop.’

‘We’ve got a few minutes,’ Angie called over from the till.

‘Who are the ghosts?’ Eddie repeated, eyes gleaming with rapt interest.

‘Um, well, some people think they’re prisoners who died in the dungeons hundreds of years ago.’

‘Why did they die?’ he asked eagerly.

Della glanced at Eddie’s father, wondering whether this line of questioning was okay. As a young child, Sophie had enjoyed the more gruesome aspects of history: floggings and hangings and witches being burned. She had devoured Horrible Histories books and, during one particularly fervent period, had insisted on visiting the castle’s dungeons every weekend for months on end. ‘They weren’t well looked after,’ Della explained, ‘so I think they probably died of starvation.’

Eddie seemed pretty thrilled by this as he turned to his dad. ‘Can we come back tomorrow?’

Della saw the man’s face relax for the first time since they had blundered in. ‘That might be tricky. It’s Milo’s party, remember?’

‘Can we come next weekend then? Please?’

‘I don’t see why not.’ The man smiled at Della. ‘Thank you,’ he added.

‘You’re welcome,’ she said, although she wasn’t quite sure what he was thanking her for. What she did know, though, as the man and boy left, was that she felt different: lighter somehow, as if the weight of her mother’s funeral, and Mark’s grumblings about the cookbooks, had simply floated away. Even more startling was the fact that, when she climbed into her car and glimpsed her reflection in the rear-view mirror, she saw that her red lipstick – Impassioned – was still perfectly in place.