Читать книгу The Rules: How to Capture the Heart of Mr Right - Ellen Fein - Страница 6

How many times have you heard someone say, “She’s nice, she’s pretty, she’s smart … why isn’t she married?” Were they talking about you, perhaps? Ever wonder why women who are not so pretty or smart attract men almost effortlessly?

Frankly, many women we know find it easier to relocate to another state, switch careers, or run a marathon than get the right man to marry them! If this sounds like you, then you need The Rules!

What are The Rules? They are a simple way of acting around men that can help any woman win the heart of the man of her dreams. Sound too good to be true? We were sceptical at first, too. Read on!

The purpose of The Rules is to make Mr. Right obsessed with having you as his by making yourself seem unattainable. In plain language, we’re talking about playing hard to get! Follow The Rules, and he will not just marry you, but feel crazy about you, forever! What we’re promising you is “happily ever after.” A marriage truly made in heaven.

If you follow The Rules, you can rest assured that your husband will treat you like a queen—even when he’s angry with you. Why? Because he spent so much time trying to get you. You have become so precious to him that he doesn’t take you for granted. On the contrary, he thinks of you constantly. He’s your best friend, your Rock of Gibraltar during bad times. He’s hurt if you don’t share your problems with him. He is always there for you—when you start your new job, if you need surgery. He even likes to get involved in mundane things, such as picking out a new bedspread. He always wants to do things together.

When you do The Rules, you don’t have to worry about him chasing other women, even your very attractive neighbor or his bosomy secretary. That’s because when you do The Rules, he somehow thinks you’re the sexiest woman alive! When you do The Rules, you don’t have to worry about being abandoned, neglected, or ignored!

A woman we know who followed The Rules is now married to a wonderful man who doesn’t try to get rid of her to go out with the guys. Instead, he becomes slightly jealous when she does her own thing. They are very good friends, too.

Men are different from women. Women who call men, ask them out, conveniently have two tickets to a show, or offer sex on the first date destroy male ambition and animal drive. Men are born to respond to challenge. Take away challenge and their interest wanes. That, in a nutshell, is the premise of The Rules. Sure, a man might marry you if you don’t do The Rules, but we can’t guarantee that yours will be a good marriage.

This is how it works: if men love challenge, we become challenging! But don’t ask a man if he loves challenge. He may think or even say he doesn’t. He may not even realize how he reacts. Pay attention to what he does, not what he says.

As you read this book, you may think that The Rules are too calculating and wonder, “How hard to get do I have to be? Am I never to cook him dinner or take him to the theatre? What if I just feel like talking to him? Can’t I call? When may I reveal personal things about myself?”

The answer is: Read The Rules. Follow them completely (not à la carte) and you will be happy you did. How many of us know women who never quite trust their husbands and always feel slightly insecure? They may even see therapists to talk about why their husbands don’t pay attention to them. The Rules will save you about £50 an hour in therapy bills.

Of course, it’s easy to do The Rules with men you’re not that interested in. Naturally, you don’t call them, instantly return their calls, or send them love letters. Sometimes your indifference makes them so crazy about you that you end up marrying one of them. That’s because you did The Rules (without even thinking about it) and he proposed!

But settling for less is not what this book is about. The idea is to do The Rules with the man you’re really crazy about. This will require effort, patience, and self-restraint. But isn’t it worth it? Why should you compromise and marry someone who loves you but whom you’re not crazy about? We know many women who face this dilemma. But don’t worry—this book will help you marry only Mr. Right!

Your job now is to treat the man you are really, really crazy about like the man you’re not that interested in—don’t call, be busy sometimes! Do all of this from the beginning—from day one! Do it from the second you meet him—or should we say, the second he meets you! The better you do The Rules from the beginning, the harder he will fall for you.

Keep thinking, “How would I behave if I weren’t that interested in him?” And then behave that way. Would you offer endless encouragement to someone you didn’t really like? Would you stay on the phone with him for hours? Of course not!

Don’t worry that busyness and lack of interest will drive him away. The men you don’t like keep calling after you’ve turned them down, don’t they?

Remember, The Rules are not about getting just any man to adore you and propose; they’re about getting the man of your dreams to marry you! It’s an old-fashioned formula, but it really works!

We understand why modern, career-oriented women have sometimes scoffed at our suggestions. They’ve been MBA-trained to “make things happen” and to take charge of their careers. However, a relationship with a man is different from a job. In a relationship, the man must take charge. He must propose. We are not making this up—biologically, he’s the aggressor.

Some women complain that The Rules prevent them from being themselves or having fun. “Why should dating be work?” some ask. But when they end up alone on Saturday night because they did not follow The Rules, they always come back to us saying, “Okay, okay, tell me what to do.”

Doing what you want to do is not always in your best interest. On a job interview, you don’t act “like yourself.” You don’t eat cake if you’re serious about losing weight. Similarly, it is not wise to let it all hang out and break The Rules as soon as you begin dating a man.

In the long run, it’s not fun to break The Rules! You could easily end up alone. Think long term. Imagine a husband you love, beautiful sex, children, companionship, and growing old with someone who thinks you’re a great catch.

Think about never having to be alone on Saturday nights or having to ask your married friends to fix you up. Think about being a couple! Unfortunately, however, you must experience some delayed gratification in the first few months of the relationship to achieve this marital bliss. But has wearing your heart on your sleeve ever got you anywhere?

There are many books and theories on this subject. All make wonderful promises, but The Rules actually produce results. It’s easy to know what’s going on when you do The Rules. It’s very simple. If he calls you, pursues you, asks you out, it’s The Rules. If you have to make excuses for his behavior—for example, he didn’t call after the first date because he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend—and you have to think about every word he said until your head hurts and you call him, it’s not The Rules. Forget what he’s going through—for example, “fear of commitment” or “not ready for a relationship.” Remember, we don’t play therapist when we do The Rules. If he calls and asks you out, it’s The Rules. Anything else is conversation.