Читать книгу Secrets of the Abbey - Elsie Jeanette Dunkerley - Страница 9

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“What’s the matter, Jenny-Wren?” Joan had not forgotten the hints of the first day of term, and she had heard Nora’s news about Doreen and the challenge to the junior team, so she had not much doubt of the reason for Jen’s sombre face. But she did not know yet how much Nora had said.

Jen had been absent-minded all morning and had been reprimanded for inattention. She lifted troubled eyes to her queen’s face. “Joan, it’s just too bad for words. When will you have time to talk?”

“If it’s as bad as all that I’ll make time. The sooner I hear about it the better. Wait for me, just for three minutes!” and Joan hurried away.

She sought the headmistress and begged leave to take Jen out for lunch. The senior form, who were all day-girls, had the privilege of lunching at certain nearby shops and dairies, if their parents wished it, instead of joining in the usual school dinner; the right was not exercised very often, as it was easier to have the meal without changing and going out, and most girls preferred to stay with their companions. But a senior who wanted to talk with a friend would sometimes go out; it was necessary to have company, as no one was allowed to go alone.

“Jen?” Miss Macey raised her eyebrows. “I know you and Jen have become real friends, but must you take her out to lunch? I don’t want that to become a custom, Joan.”

“I’m afraid Jen is in trouble, Miss Macey, and I want to hear about it. It’s difficult in school. I would like an hour alone with her.”

“I hadn’t heard of any trouble. She should have told me.”

“It’s cricket and the Hamlet Club,” Joan explained. “I’m afraid they’re pulling Jen different ways; or perhaps it’s her sense of duty that’s pulling against her wishes. But she hasn’t told me yet; I’m only guessing.”

Miss Macey, too, had heard rumours, through the games-mistress. She gave permission without further questions, only warning Joan not to be late for afternoon school.

Joan hurried back to her waiting maid. “Fetch your cap and woolly coat, kid. We’re going to have lunch at the dairy.”

“Oh!” Jen’s sober face lit up. “Oh, Joan, how marvellous! Just you and me?”

“Do you mind if Joy comes too? We generally go together.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Jen considered the matter quickly, but carefully. “Joy was jolly decent about this mess. She’ll understand.”

“I’m sorry you’re in a mess. Perhaps talking will help.” Joan called to Joy—“Joy! I’m going out to lunch, and Mrs. Wren is coming with me. Care to join us?”

“Yes, I’ll come. It will be a change. What has the Wren been up to?”

“It’s something the others have put up to her, I’m afraid. She’ll tell us when we’re settled,” and Joan led her party to the dairy she preferred.

Jen gave a sigh of pleasure. “This is terribly nice of you, Joan! I love a little table in the corner of a shop! This is a jolly place; I don’t like tables with marble tops and no covers.”

“It’s a good thing something can cheer you up,” Joy said. “You look as if the bottom had fallen out of the world.”

“It has,” Jen said simply.

“My hat! What’s the row?”

Jen looked at Joan. “You’ve guessed, haven’t you?”

“I think so. But tell us, Jen.”

“Nora says I’m letting down the school for my own selfish pleasure.” Jen’s lips quivered. “Joan, I’m not a baby. I’m not going to howl and make you feel bad. But don’t you think it’s a bit hard?”

“Oh, I say! How utterly rotten!” Joy blazed. “I’ll talk to Nora! She had no right to say that. She’s a brute!”

“It was a bit brutal,” Joan agreed. “Don’t rage, Joy; it won’t help. You’ve heard about Doreen, and the challenge from St. Anne’s, I suppose?”

“I’ve heard; Nora’s talking of nothing else. She’s frantic at the thought of having to refuse. But she knew better than to say things about Jenny-Wren with you and me and Muriel in the form.”

“I knew what she meant, though,” Joan remarked. “It’s hard on her to have to refuse, of course.”

“Jack won’t refuse,” Jen said unsteadily. “She’s the captain of the team. She says she’ll play, even if she knows they’ll be beaten. She’s a sport.”

“Nora’s games-captain. She’ll have to decide, whatever Jack says,” Joy pointed out. “Nora won’t let the school down by sending a team that couldn’t put up a decent show.”

Jen looked up. “They think they could put up a decent show if they had me.”

“They could, of course. But you’ve joined the Hamlets. They can’t have you.”

Jen glanced at Joan. “Tell me what you think, Queen!”

“I think it’s terribly hard on us,” Joan began.

“Us?” Jen interrupted, startled. “I thought you’d say ‘hard on you’—on me, you know. Do you mean that you and the rest would feel bad, too, Joan?”

“Hard on us,” Joan repeated. “Of course we’re in it with you. We shall feel quite as bad as you do; worse, in a way, because if you’re brave and give up everything for the sake of the school, you’ll feel really glad you’re helping, and you will enjoy the cricket, Jen. We shall have nothing in exchange for you, but you’ll get those two very big things—the fun of the games and the satisfaction of having played up and been really sporting. We shall just go on missing you all the time, with nothing to make up for you.”

Jen’s eyes were wide as she gazed at her. “You make it sound different, somehow. I could only think of all I was going to lose. I know it would be the sporting thing to do, but I didn’t want to do it. You make it sound as if there might be something in it.”

“Some compensations. I’m sure you’ll begin to feel that quite soon. There will be good sides to it. You’ll love playing up to help Jack.”

Jen stared at her. “You sound as if I was going to do it, Joan.”

“I don’t know, of course. You haven’t told us yet what you’re going to do.”

“Of course she isn’t going to do it!” Joy cried. “It would be dreadfully hard on her. Joan, you’re not going to say she must clear out of the club, are you?”

“Certainly not. She’s going to decide for herself.”

Jen’s gaze went from one to the other of the bronze-haired, brown-eyed girls, who were so much alike in face and so very different in temperament.

“But you think I ought to do it, Joan?”

“I think you won’t be quite happy, if you don’t,” Joan said gravely. “I’m desperately sorry it has happened, Jen, but I do see Nora’s point of view, and I know you see it too. If you don’t play up and help the school, won’t you feel a little uncomfortable all term?”

“Yes, I know I shall,” Jen said at once. “But I shall feel terribly sick, if I give up our dancing. I’m going to feel bad either way.”

“In that case,” Joan challenged her, “why not decide on the way that will be best for the greatest number of people—that is, the school? The Hamlet Club is only a bit of the school. I believe you’ll feel less bad if you go in with the school—just for this term, of course. Nobody who has refused a challenge merely for her own sake can be quite comfortable. I wish this hadn’t happened, Jen, but since it has I believe you’ll be more satisfied if you’re brave and put the school first.”

“It’s jolly hard on the kid,” Joy said in disgust. “Joan, I never thought you’d side with Nora against the Hamlets.”

Joan looked at Jen. “I’m not. I’m trying to side with one half of Jenny-Wren—the biggest, bravest half, that wants to help the school but can’t quite bear to do it.”

Jen grew scarlet. “After that, I don’t see what else I can do. Joan, you do understand; I didn’t need to tell you. Part of me does want to do the decent thing. But the rest of me feels just sick. I love the club better than anything else at school.”

“Of course,” Joan agreed. “I should feel just the same. It’s how I felt once about school. But, Jen——”

“I know!” Jen exclaimed. “You had a chance to come to school and you were dying to do it, and you let Joy come instead. You put her first.”

“Gracious! Who told you that story? I didn’t think you knew anything about those days.”

“Joy told me, ever so long ago.”

“I wanted her to appreciate you properly,” Joy spoke in a would-be careless tone. “I thought she’d better hear that bit of your murky past.”

“There wasn’t any need for her to know that part.”

“I love that story!” Jen cried. “What were you going to say, Joan? You said, ‘But, Jen’—what else?”

“But will you go on loving the club, if you’ve put it before the school?”

“Yes,” Jen said sturdily. “But I shan’t love myself.”

“That would be very unpleasant.” Joan smiled at her. “Jenny-Wren, we shall miss you terribly, but you’ll have to do it. I was sure of it. Not because of anything anybody else says to you, but because of what’s inside you. You can’t help it. You’re too big and generous and fond of helping people to keep a gift to yourself, when the school needs it. You might try to do it, but you’d never be happy.”

“Because I’d feel I’d been stingy,” Jen mused. “That may be true, Joan. But just now I hate the thought of doing it.”

“Something will make you do it, all the same. And it won’t be because Nora called you selfish, or because I said you were brave and generous.”

Jen reddened again. “That might have something to do with it, all the same, Joan-Queen. If that thing you talk about is inside me, perhaps you’ve helped me to dig it up.”

“Perhaps. But I didn’t put it there. You can’t choose the stingy way, Jen; you just couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be a miser about anything.”

“You do have queer ideas, Joan!” Joy broke out. “The kid’s a born dancer, and she’s one of our best. We’ll all miss her. Why can’t you leave her alone?”

“Oh, I’m not!” Jen cried. “But I’m frightfully keen.”

“Because I’m certain she’ll have to do it in the end, now that she’s been asked. I don’t want her to have a miserable term.”

“But that’s just exactly what I thought I should have, if I chucked dancing for cricket!” Jen cried.

Joan shook her head. “Not you, Jenny-Wren. Don’t worry! You’ll miss the dancing, of course, but you’ll come back to it later on, and it will seem more wonderful than ever. And you’ll enjoy the cricket. You’ll love the feeling that you’ve made Jack very happy and that the whole school is grateful to you.”

Jen sat with bent head. “Do I need to tell Nora at once?” she asked unsteadily.

“I should get it over. It will only worry you until you do. But there’s no need to tell her to-day, if you want to think about it for a little while longer.”

“I suppose I shall have to do it in the end,” Jen’s voice shook. “But I don’t want to—to feel it’s all settled and done with.”

Joy was gazing at Joan and Jen with dissatisfied eyes.

“Joan, before the kid decides you ought to tell her what we were talking about on the way to school.”

Joan looked at her quickly. “I was just thinking that. Joy, wouldn’t you like to slip back to school without us? Haven’t you things to do for this afternoon?”

“In fact, you want a few minutes alone with Jenny-Wren! Righto! I’ll make myself scarce. Thanks for a jolly lunch,” and Joy nodded to Jen and wandered off.