Читать книгу One Summer Night - Emily Bold - Страница 10

Golden Autumn

Golden autumn leaves rustled in the wind, raining over Tim and Lauren’s heads and down to the ground. Lauren, lying on her side, propped up on her elbow, picked a bright-red maple leaf off their picnic blanket. The warm scent of moss, old leaves and wet earth engulfed her, and she felt as if she were at one with nature.

Tim had folded his arms behind his head and his eyes were closed. A colorful leaf had landed on his gray knitted sweater, but he didn’t notice. It quivered with each of Tim’s breaths until Lauren picked it up, too. She twisted the two leaves between her fingers, admiring the play of colors.

‘So tomorrow you’re going back to Maine?’ Tim asked again, even though they had talked about this several times already. Her classes at art school were picking up, and Lauren wouldn’t be home again until Christmas.

‘Hmm, yeah,’ she muttered, throwing the leaves into the wind, and snuggled back into the crook of Tim’s arm. ‘But I don’t want to go. It’s lovely here with you.’

He laughed. ‘Summer flings always are.’

‘Is that how you see us? Nothing more than a summer romance?’

He kissed the top of her head and shrugged his shoulders.

‘I like you, Lauren. A lot, even. But we’ve only known each other for four weeks, and you’re going back to Maine for several months,’ he explained, as if everything had already been said that needed to be said.

Lauren could feel her stomach churn. She didn’t want this thing, whatever it was that connected her to Tim, to end. Didn’t want to draw a line under it. It meant too much to her. Tim meant too much to her.

‘We could try . . .’

Tim opened his eyes and rolled over onto his stomach.

His eyes were warm, but determined.

‘Oh, come on, Lauren! You’re not seriously suggesting a long-distance relationship? Those never turn out well, and we’d just end up hating each other.’

She grimaced, because she didn’t really want a long-distance relationship either. But she disliked the alternative just as much.

‘What is it that you want, then?’ she asked and could hear the sulkiness in her own of voice.

‘You!’ He bent over her and kissed her, but Lauren’s pinched lips remained shut. He looked into her eyes and tenderly wiped a stray strand of hair from her face.

‘Today, sure – but tomorrow you’re finding solace in the arms of a girl named Caroline.’

He shook his head.

‘Tomorrow? No – I’ll wait until the day after tomorrow.’

‘Idiot!’ Lauren was annoyed at how much the idea hurt her feelings, even though she knew he was only kidding around. These last few weeks with Tim had been wonderful. She had fallen head over heels in love with him. And he . . . Well, he slept with her. Would spend the night . . . and spent what little spare time he had with her, unless he was practicing on the hockey field. While he had never mentioned love, he . . . he surely had feelings for her, too. Didn’t he?

‘Lauren,’ he tried to appease her, but she held him off, with her hands pressed against his chest.

‘No, Tim! You think this is funny! I . . . I . . . I don’t want you to . . .’

‘I like you a lot, too, Lauren, and you know it! But don’t make things more complicated than they are. Let’s see what happens when we don’t see each other every day. I don’t want to make any promises, and I don’t want you to make promises either. Don’t you think it’s enough to wait and see if we still feel the same way about each other in three months time? When we see each other again at Christmas?’

Lauren sat up, trying to hold back the tears that were burning behind her eyelids. She didn’t want to fight, but Tim’s answer sounded like a pathetic attempt to weasel his way out of this. Her throat hurt from the giant lump expanding inside it, and she was almost unable to speak.

‘Of course! Sure! Don’t tie yourself down!’ She glared at him angrily, but she was just as angry at herself. She should have known. A guy this good-looking, who was in a non-exclusive sexual relationship with some blonde beanpole, couldn’t possibly be looking for a long-term commitment or, God forbid, a wife. He had probably only gotten involved with her because he knew that she wasn’t staying long. Long enough to have a little fun together, but not long enough to actually make a commitment.

Tim reached for her arm, but she squirmed free. He probably didn’t even want to hurt her, but this made it even worse. He didn’t need to hurt her.

Nobody was forcing him to destroy what they had, right here and now.

‘This has nothing to do with being tied down!’ he objected, but Lauren was already up and patting the dust off her pants.

‘It’s fine, Tim. Don’t ruin the great sex we had by talking about it! Can I have my blanket please?’

Tim shook his head, uncomprehending, and brushed his hair from his forehead. Then he stood up as well. Before he could even bend down to the blanket, Lauren had snatched it up, holding it up in front of her like a shield.

‘Lauren, please. This thing between us, it’s more than sex. And you know it.’ He reached his hands out for her, and she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and stay there.

‘I need to pack my bags, so I think it’s better if you leave now,’ she said coldly, taking a step back to bring some distance between them. She didn’t need the smell of his cologne, which had become so familiar to her by now, to challenge her resolve. No matter how hard this already was, every additional minute spent close to him would only increase her pain and her disappointment.

Tim didn’t take his sad ice-blue eyes off her face, and she had to turn around to stay strong. She walked away with slow, measured steps, even though she felt like running, and left him standing where he was. The autumn leaves beneath her feet rustled with every step she took.

‘Do you want me to kick his teeth in?’ Benjamin asked, putting his arm around his sister’s shoulders as she furiously wiped the tears from her face. The pillow she held tightly pressed against her chest was already tear soaked and showed the tell-tale stains, but Lauren was not afraid to openly show her feelings in front of Ben. They’d always been able to talk about everything.

Which was why her brother’s surprise visit had made her postpone her departure for Maine to the following morning. She hadn’t seen Ben in months. Ever since a talent scout had discovered him on the baseball field during his college years, he had played for the Phillies in the Minor League and only rarely came home for a visit or for occasions when, like now, he was in-between seasons. That’s the sacrifice you make when you want to play with the big boys one day. It was the price he had to pay if he ever wanted it to make it to the Major League.

‘Hmm, no . . .’ Lauren knew she didn’t sound very convincing. She was disappointed in Tim, and Ben’s suggestion really was quite appealing. ‘It wouldn’t go down well with the media. What about your criminal record! And what would Daddy say?’

‘Ha! I know a guy, someone I sometimes meet up and have a drink with. He could wipe my record nice and clean again!’

‘Oh, so much corruption in this world!’ Lauren played along with Ben’s tough-guy-show, even though she knew he was only bragging. Ben was the most decent, the most upright person she knew. Except on the baseball field. ‘Ain’t that the truth! Just say the word, Little Sis, and I’ll tear that pig to shreds.’

Lauren smiled and shook her head.

‘Don’t worry about it. It’s my own damn fault. What did I expect?’

Ben scratched his ginger buzz-cut styled hair and shrugged his shoulders.

‘I don’t think it’s asking too much if a guy . . . someone you . . .’

‘Sleep with?’ Lauren helped him along as he, a little sheepishly, was searching for the right words.

‘Yeah, I guess so . . . I mean that a guy doesn’t just dump you as soon as things get a little hairy.’

‘Hairy?’

‘Come on, you know what I mean! Difficult, complicated . . . Do you want my advice or not?’

Lauren leaned against Ben’s shoulder and emptied her wine glass. Through the skylight she stared out into the cloud-covered night sky. She would need to go to bed soon, or she’d be dead by the time she arrived in Maine. Fortunately, her professors weren’t too strict on the first day after summer break.

‘When it comes down to it, I’m not really looking for advice. I think I was running off in the completely wrong direction, only because it felt so right at the time. And now . . . I have to face the music.’

‘Well, that’s a pretty good reason to run off in the wrong direction if you ask me.’

He winked at her, stretching out his long, athletic legs. They were sitting on the hardwood floor, leaning against the bed, because Lauren couldn’t bring herself to sit on top of the very bed she and Tim had spent so much time in these past few weeks.

‘I think so, too. You know,’ she confessed quietly, ‘I really thought this could be the real deal.’

Ben reached for the wine bottle and refilled her glass once again.

‘Did you fall in love with the guy?’

‘Maybe . . .’

He looked at her and kissed her on the temple.

‘Silly girl!’ he muttered, thrusting the full glass into her hands and took his own, empty glass for another refill. ‘Your brother’s out of town for the summer, unable to threaten or beat up your adoring fans, and you have nothing better to do than to hook up with such a loser.’

Lauren smirked and took a big gulp of her wine.

‘You’re so right! Come to think of it, the whole thing is entirely your fault!’

Ben nodded and raised his glass.

‘All right, all right, guilty as charged. What’s my punishment?’

Lauren laughed and slapped him with her pillow.

‘You’re coming home for Christmas this year so that I won’t have to sit around a stupid tree with Mom and Dad and look at childhood photos. Promise me!’

Ben pushed her away, making a pained face, and got up.

‘Come on. That’s pretty harsh, Lauren! Mom, Dad, Christmas . . . You know what that means! Why would you ask this of me?’

He dusted himself off and leaned, his legs apart, against one of the sideboards.

‘Please, Ben – don’t leave me alone with those lunatics! Last year I had to stop Mom from attacking Dad with a carving knife!’

‘Yeah, I heard – sounds like it was a lovely, quiet Christmas dinner with a side of raging fury!’

‘Right! The dead turkey on our dinner plates was the happiest person around the table, trust me!’

Ben laughed and helped Lauren to her feet. He looked at her, and it struck her how strange it was that all of a sudden they were grown-ups. When had that happened? And yet Lauren now found herself standing opposite an athletically built man, all of twenty-six years old, instead of facing a slightly chubby teenager who would sneak cigarettes behind the bus stop with her.

With his broad shoulders and bushy eyebrows he still reminded her of that teenage boy. Even his smile had not changed in all these years. She was proud of him. And his smile might soon be featured on one of the Baseball Major League’s trading cards. He was a good player, and his coach believed in Ben and could see him switching to the top team very soon.

‘As you wish, Lauren, as you wish. I give up. I will have your back for the holidays, but in turn you’re going to get me a Christmas present. And by present I mean a proper gift. None of that homemade nonsense! And not something last minute from a gas station either, you hear?’

* * *

‘Ben, are you still awake?’ Lauren called across the bonfire. That was where she had seen him last.

‘Yep. I am. How could I fall asleep on a night like this?’

Lauren instantly regretted her little joke. Carefully, she wriggled herself out from under Alyssa, and Tim took her place.

‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered, after she had walked over to her brother. ‘It’s just that you’re being very quiet.’

‘Don’t worry, Sis. I’m here – and wide awake. I’m listening to you all and am sorry that I missed out on so much.’

Lauren sat down beside him and leaned against his shoulder.

‘Don’t be silly! You had to do it. Look at you now – you’re a super star!’

Ben laughed. ‘As if! I’m not half as strong as you are, and you know it.’

‘I am not, otherwise you would never have suggested beating Tim up for me. If I were that strong, I could have done the job myself,’ Lauren joked, offering Ben a sip from her wine glass.

Ben smiled and turned to Tim.

‘Boy was I pissed at you, Brother-in-law! You were lucky that I didn’t get to lay my hands on you,’ he called out. ‘I didn’t know you then. You were just the guy who broke my sister’s heart.’