Читать книгу His Little Christmas Miracle - Emily Forbes, Emily Forbes - Страница 11

JESS FELT AS if the ground was tipping beneath her feet. She felt as if at any moment she might slide to the floor. She could see the scene playing out in front of her, almost as though she was a spectator watching from the sidelines. She could see herself wobbling in the foreground and she could see Lucas standing close enough to touch. If she could just reach out a hand she could feel him. See if he really was real. But she couldn’t move. Life seemed to be going on around her as she watched, too overcome to react.

He turned towards her at the sound of his name.

‘JJ?’

She hadn’t been called JJ in years. It had been his nickname for her and no one else had ever used it.

She couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her. Lucas, undeniably Lucas. He still had the same brilliant, forget-me-not-blue eyes and the same infectious, dimpled smile and he was smiling now as he stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. She fitted perfectly into his embrace and it felt like it was only yesterday that she’d last been in his arms. Memories flooded back to her and her stomach did a peculiar little flip as her body responded in a way it hadn’t for years. She tensed, taken by surprise by both his spontaneous gesture and her reaction.

He must have felt her stiffen because he let her go and stepped away.

Her eyes took in the sight of him. He looked fabulous. The years had been kind to him. Better than they’d been to her, she feared. His hair was cut shorter but was still sandy blond and thick, and his oval face was tanned, making his blue eyes even more striking. He had the shadow of a beard on his jaw, more brown than blond. That was new. He wouldn’t have had that seven years ago, but he hadn’t got fat. Or bald.

Her heart raced as she looked him over. He was wearing dark trousers and a pale blue business shirt. It was unbuttoned at the collar, no tie, and he had his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. He looked just as good, maybe even better, than she remembered.

Her initial surprise was immediately followed by pleasure but that was then, just as quickly, cancelled out by panic. What was he doing here? He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in Europe or Australia. Eating cheese in Switzerland or surfing at Bondi Beach. He wasn’t supposed to be in Canada and especially not in Moose River. She was the one who belonged here. She was the Canadian.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked him.

‘I’m the hotel manager.’

‘In Moose River?’

‘It would seem so.’ He grinned at her and her stomach did another flip as heat seared through her, scorching her insides. He didn’t seem nearly as unsettled as she was about their unexpected encounter. But, then, he’d always adapted quickly to new situations. He seemed to thrive on change, whereas she would rather avoid it.

The ambos and Aimee and her baby had disappeared and a second elevator pinged as it reached their floor.

‘Are you finished up here?’ he asked.

Jess nodded. It seemed she’d lost the power of speech. It seemed as though Lucas had the same effect on her now as he’d had seven years ago.

‘I’ll ride down with you,’ he said.

He waited for her to enter the elevator. She tucked herself into the corner by the door, feeling confused. Conflicted. She wasn’t sure what to think. She wasn’t sure how she felt. One part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let him go. Another wanted to run and hide. Another wanted desperately to know what he was thinking.

Lucas stepped in and reached across in front of her to press the button to take them down to the lobby. She hadn’t remembered to push the button, so distracted by him she wasn’t thinking clearly.

He was standing close. She’d expected him to lean against the opposite wall but he didn’t move away as the elevator descended. If she reached out a hand she could touch him without even straightening her elbow.

He was watching her with his forget-me-not-blue eyes and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. His familiar scent washed over her—he smelt like winter in the mountains, cool and crisp with the clean, fresh tang of pine needles.

The air was humming, drowning out the silence that fell between them. She clenched her fists at her sides to stop herself from reaching out. She could feel herself being pulled towards him. Even after all this time her body longed for his touch. She craved him.

They stood, for what seemed like ages, just looking at each other.

‘It’s good to see you, JJ.’ His voice was a whisper, barely breaking the silence that surrounded them.

He stretched out one hand and Jess held her breath. His fingers caught the ends of her hair and his thumb brushed across her cheek. The contact set her nerves on fire, every inch of her responding to his touch. It felt like every one of her cells had a memory and every memory was Lucas.

‘You’ve cut your hair,’ he said.

‘Many times,’ she replied.

Lucas laughed and the sound was loud enough to burst the bubble of awareness and desire and longing that had enveloped her.

She didn’t know how she’d managed to make a joke. Nothing about this was funny. She was so ill prepared to run into him.

Last time he’d seen her she’d had long hair that had fallen past her shoulders. She’d cut it short when Lily had been born and now it was softly feathered and the ends brushed her shoulders. She’d changed many things about herself since he’d last seen her, not just her hair. It was almost a surprise that he’d recognised her. She felt seventy years older. Not seven. Like a completely different person.

She was a different person.

She was a mother. A mother with a secret.

The lift doors slid open but Jess didn’t move. Lucas was in her way but even so she didn’t think she was capable of movement. She needed the wall to support her. Her legs were shaking. Her hands were shaking. She knew her reaction was a result of the adrenalin that was coursing through her system. Adrenalin that was produced from a combination of attraction and fear. Why had he come back? And what would his presence mean to her? And to Lily?

‘Mr White.’ A hotel staff member approached them. Lucas had his back to the doors but he turned at the sound of his name and stepped out of the elevator. ‘Mr Bertillon is nearly back at the lodge. He’s only a minute or two away. What would you like me to do?’

‘I’ll meet him here. Can you organise a car to be waiting out the front? We need to get him down the mountain to the hospital asap.’

Jess pushed off the wall and forced her legs to move. One step at a time, she could do this. Lucas turned back to face her as she stepped into the lobby. ‘Have you got time for a coffee? Can you wait while I sort this out?’ Jess shook her head. ‘I have to get back to the medical centre,’ she lied. She had no idea how to deal with the situation. With Lucas. She had to get away. She needed time to process what had just happened. To process the fact that Lucas was here.

‘Of course. Another time, then.’ He put a hand on her arm and it felt as though her skin might burst into flames at his touch. Her pulse throbbed. Her throat was dry. ‘We’ll catch up later,’ he said.

Jess dropped the medical bag off at the clinic before trudging through the snow back to her apartment. Seeing Lucas had left her shaky and confused and she used the few minutes she had to herself to try to sort out her feelings.

He said they’d catch up later. What would he want? She definitely wasn’t the naive teenager from seven years ago. She wasn’t the person he would remember.

What would she do? She needed to work out what to tell him. How to tell him.

She shook her head. This was all too much.

She’d have to try to avoid him. Just for a while, just until she worked out what having all three of them in the same place would mean for her and Lily. Just until she solved this dilemma.

Seven years ago she’d fallen in love. Or she’d thought she had. Seven years on she had convinced herself that maybe it had just been a bad case of teenage hormones. Lust. A holiday romance. But seeing him today had reinforced that she’d never got over him. How could she when she was reminded of him every day?

She knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid him for ever. Moose River wasn’t big enough for that. They were bound to bump into each other. But even if avoidance was a possibility she suspected she wouldn’t be able to resist him completely. Curiosity would get the better of her. She’d been thinking about him for seven years. She would have to fill in the gaps. But as to exactly what she would tell him, that decision could wait.

She opened her apartment door and was almost knocked over by an excited Lily.

‘Mum, where have you been? Kristie is here. We’ve been waiting for you for ages.’