Читать книгу Untangling - Emma Grace - Страница 7

This is a book for all the hearts who were once in love, who are falling out of love, or who will one day be head over heels in love again. As you’re reading it, I want you to remember, amidst all that other stuff you’re going crazy thinking about—that it is not your fault.

I mean it. It’s not.

It is not your fault that you can’t see through eyes of love and eyes of reason at the same time. It’s not your fault if you fall in love too early—or fell out of love too late. It’s not your fault if you can’t make it work. Or tried too hard to make it work. Or if you can’t or won’t or weren’t able to see that maybe they didn’t totally deserve what you ended up giving them—or how long you gave it to them for. It is not your fault if you messed up how it was supposed to go—if you called too much or texted too much because you loved them that much. You aren’t needy. You aren’t weak. You were just—in love. And that, no matter what, is a beautiful thing.

We are not supposed to predict things in this life. We are just supposed to live them. And experience them. And learn from them. So I want you to know, no matter where you are on this journey—that it is not your fault, how it all goes. You are part of a much larger constellation of experiences that ultimately shape what happens to you. And sure, a small part you’ll get the chance to steer—to choose—but the rest will be totally and completely out of your hands.

Love is, well, it’s a beautiful mess—and it always will be.

I don’t mean that in a bad way, though.

What I mean is—we’re all out there trying and searching and loving and losing and healing and hurting and breaking. All of us. We have all been hurt. And we will all be loved.

Maybe you find your one when you’re in the sixth grade. Or maybe they will stumble into your life at a time you didn’t even believe in love anymore. But that’s how it works. All of it. You need the uncertainty. You need the one who breaks you and the one who builds you. You need the one that loves you like crazy when you’re not ready to be loved like crazy—and especially the one you love like crazy—who just isn’t ready for you.

You need to trust and be trusted, break and be broken. You need to feel that powerful, eyes-across-the-room kind of passion—and you need to know what a partner feels like, too. The one who won’t just kiss you like you’ve never been kissed—but who will see your beauty in the messyhaired mornings and want to be there—want to be there—when you’re sick. And hurt. And insecure. And stressed. And, well—for all those other things life throws at us after the photo-op and Instagram post and beachy sandy picture part of the love story fades away.

Because it does. It always does.

Love isn’t always shiny. It’s not always starry eyes and holding hands. It’s not always forever. Love is learning. And growing. And patient. And deep. It’s a kiss goodnight even when they’re mad at you. Someone who doesn’t think a fight is the end. It’s the one who answers your calls and is patient through your chaos—the one who listens and watches and waits. So while you’re out there trying to figure it all out, just do me one favor. Count all these experiences you’re having—even the ones you don’t want—as stepping stones. As a foundation. As an essential part of your journey. Because each one, love—each one—brings you that much closer.

To real.

So if you remember nothing else from the beginning or the middle or the end of your love stories—and there will be more love stories—remember this:

It is ok to forgive yourself for all the things you did when love was leading you.

with love.

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