Читать книгу The Call of Spiritual Emergency: From Personal Crisis to Personal Transformation - Emma Inc. Bragdon - Страница 9

One day when I was seven years old, I was swimming with my cousin Anna underneath a dock in a lake. We were playing between the boards that supported the metal drums on which the floor of the dock was built. One of us would hide from the other—swimming down, and then coming up unexpectedly in a new place, spouting water. At one point, I dived down deep, so Anna had no chance of seeing me. I looked up for a place to emerge. This time I saw a crisscross of boards; the floor of the dock seemed woven with the boards of the supporting structure. I saw no place to surface. Seconds passed. Out of air, I panicked . . . blacked out. Close to death, my consciousness dived deep within me—to a place where there was no more fear, to a place of absolute peace and acceptance. There, the feeling of fear was just a vague memory. In this way, I discovered the kingdom of Higher Power, a deep experience of sacred energy that I would never be able to forget, that I would always know as "home." I had begun to relax into it completely when I burst to the surface of the lake, right between two boards with barely enough space for my head to pass.

Everything changed for me from the moment of that experience. Instead of fearing death, I now knew that death would be a passageway into the ultimate peace that I had felt when I nearly drowned. From that day onward, I distinctly led life in two dimensions—one life as a physical being who loves ice cream and close contact with others, and wants to survive to have the pleasures of this life; the other life as a spiritual being who is a part of that sacred energy that is complete peace and unconditional love that will live after my physical being dies.

Ever since infancy, I had had intense experiences I now would call "spiritual." Looking at rays of sunlight coming through a window into my crib would take me into ecstasy. My favorite friends were nature spirits in the forest near my home. But ever since that moment of nearly drowning, I have always been in touch with what I recognize as the deep, steady stream of Higher Power within me; my ordinary mind is like a bubbling brook animating only the surface of my consciousness. These experiences continued as I grew. Psychic phenomena, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, clairsentience, became a normal part of my life. I used to think that this was unusual—in fact, I used to think that people would treat me like a crazy person if I revealed the kinds of things that I was experiencing. Now, I know that most people have had at least one of these kinds of experiences. Still, we struggle to find words to describe them, and most of us have some fear of talking about them.

However, it was not until I completed my research for my doctoral dissertation in psychology that I realized the extent to which spiritual experiences are "normal." As I interviewed person after person in my study for writing A Sourcebook for Helping People in Spiritual Emergency (Lightening Up Press, 1988), I saw that these experiences not only are common but also have a place in natural human development. In my work as a psychotherapist, I became convinced of the value of spiritual experiences in enhancing mental health. I continually saw these experiences serve as stepping-stones to higher levels of functioning in the form of higher creativity, a sense of equanimity and peace, a desire to serve others, and the development of psychic abilities—even the capacity to do hands-on healing work.

People in our culture are afraid of speaking openly about their spiritual experiences, because psychic phenomena—such as experiencing past-life sequences, receiving clairvoyant, clairsentient, or clairaudient impressions, or speaking with disembodied spirits —have been considered symptomatic of psychosis. Most psychiatrists, psychologists, and even clergy have believed that most spiritual experiences are indicative of either retarded development or emotional disease. This opinion has diffused into our texts on mental health, and thus also informed other health care workers—nurses, counselors, hospital administrators, etc.

One client of mine, a research biochemist, had had an intense spiritual experience during the birth of her first child. She was in labor on a gurney in the hallway of the hospital, waiting to be wheeled into the birthing room. She was not under any medication. Her husband and a nurse were attending her. Suddenly, her body began to shake all over. She felt streams of light throughout her system. This continued for over an hour. No one in the hospital understood what was happening to her. They gave her medication to suppress the symptoms, and treated her as if there were something wrong about her. Believing them, she maintained that sense of herself for years, dreading another "occurrence," not realizing that the brilliant light and powerful energy rushes vibrating through her body had been a legitimate spiritual experience having to do with the awakening of kundalini—a form of spiritual awakening described below. In the course of our work together she came to realize her experience as one of union with Higher Power.