Stand and Deliver!: And other Brilliant Ways to Give Birth

Stand and Deliver!: And other Brilliant Ways to Give Birth
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A book full of practical information on choosing the best type of birth experience for you and your baby and what to do in the final 8 weeks to prepare. Full of humour and encouraging birth stories, every mother-to-be will find it invaluable.• Emma Mahony, humorous Times columnist whose Double Trouble stories about her two young twins charmed the nation, now gives you a first book on birth and the 8-week run-up to it. Taking a practical but lighthearted approach, she helps every new mother-to-be feel in control and ready for the big day.• With positive stories from women who insisted on the right birth for them, as well as advice from experts in the field of childbirth, such as midwives, obstetricians and advocates of natural and water births.Includes:• Why a good birth experience is a great objective• How and why it’s best to avoid a ‘medicalised’ birth• Everything you need to know about Caesarians• What every woman is entitled to before labour• How to write a birth plan and why it is useful• Illustrated throughout with lighthearted cartoons from The Times’ front page cartoonist.

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Emma Mahony. Stand and Deliver!: And other Brilliant Ways to Give Birth

STAND & DELIVER. And Other Brilliant. Ways to Give Birth. Emma Mahony

Dedication

Epigraph

Contents

Ten Great Things About Birth

Introduction

FIRST STAGE LET’S START AT THE VERY BEGINNING …

CHAPTER 1 … A Very Good Place to Start

Cultural Unconditioning

Doctors and the Medics

Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three

Ultraconfusing Ultrasound

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

CHAPTER 2 Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby

Sex and Birth

Sorting Out Your Sex Life

Whatever Floats Your Boat

Sex to Start Labour

Listen to the Hippies, Man

A Kiss on the Lips May Be …

Tits Oot for the Lads

Try Some New Positions

I’ll Have What She’s Having

Sorry Darling, I’ve Got a Headache

Not Tonight, Josephine

What to Buy to Feel Sexier in Pregnancy

CHAPTER 3 My Body Is a Temple

Eat Well and Multiply

Placenta Matters

Thinking Outside the Box of Fruit

Yoga, Walking and Swimming

Scents and Sensibility

Feet Need Love, Too

Acupuncture and Shiatsu Massage

Birth Balls

Chung and Shake Those Apples

Bottom Jokes

CHAPTER 4 Free Your Mind (and Your Ass Will Follow)

Meditation and Visualization

Control Freaks

Who Am I, and Do I Exist?

No More Ms Nice Guy

Yeah, Right. Get a Life

Draw Out Those Fears

Neurotics Rule, um, OK?

Little White Pills for the Mind

CHAPTER 5 Can You Feel It?

Guardian Angels

Hopeless Husbands and Perfect Partners

Choosing a Birth Partner

Go Doolally and Hire a Doula

Bond with Me, Baby

Independent Midwives: Angels without Wings

Come Hypnobirth with He

CHAPTER 6 Away with the Fairies

The Point of Pain

Nature’s High

The Epidural Myth

Life and Death

Don’t Rush Me

Bach Flower Remedies

For God’s Sake, Give Me Some Proper Drugs

TENS MACHINE

ENTONOX - GAS AND AIR

EPIDURAL OR SPINAL BLOCK

PETHIDINE

CHAPTER 7 Introduction: Water, Water Everywhere

CHAPTER 8 Water Birth in Hospital

CHAPTER 9 Water Birth at Home

CHAPTER 10 Laughter Birth

CHAPTER 11 Standing Birth

CHAPTER 12 Induction Birth

CHAPTER 13 Hoot Hoot Hout Birth

CHAPTER 14 IVF Birth

CHAPTER 15 Breech Birth

CHAPTER 16 Twin Birth

CHAPTER 17 Epidural Birth

CHAPTER 18 Yoga Birth

Janet’s Principles of Yoga and Active Birth

CHAPTER 19 Caesarean Birth

Emergency C-section

CHAPTER 20 Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC)

CHAPTER 21 Helping Hands: Useful Contacts

WEEK 32 Where Do I Want to Give Birth?

You Could Give Birth in Hospital Under Consultant-led Care

You Could Give Birth in Hospital under Midwifery-led Care

You Could Give Birth in a Birth Centre under Midwifery-led Care

You Could Give Birth at Home on the NHS

You Could Give Birth at Home with Independent Midwives

You Could Give Birth in a Private Hospital

You Could Give Birth in a Private Birth Centre

WEEK 33 Antenatal Classes

WEEK 34 Know Your Birth Rights

WEEK 35 Write Your Birth Plan

Birth Plan for a Hospital Birth

WEEK 36 Tour the Hospital

WEEK 37 Glossary of Big Words Doctors Use around Birth

Stages of Labour

Strange Words Midwives Use

WEEK 38 Women Who Birth Well

WEEK 39 Am I in Labour?

WEEK 40 Physical Signs of Early Labour

Possible Physical Signs of Early Labour

What They Don’t Tell You to Pack for the Hospital (But What You Really Need) FOR LABOUR

FOR AFTER THE BIRTH

FOR AN AT-HOME BIRTH

References. First Stage - Let’s Start at the Very Beginning … A VERY GOOD PLACE TO START …

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX. BABY

MY BODY IS A TEMPLE

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES

Second Stage - Birth Stories: Brilliant Ways to Give Birth. INTRODUCTION: WATER. WATER EVERYWHERE

CAESAREAN BIRTH

Third Stage - Eight Weeks to Go. WEEK 35: WRITE YOUR BIRTH PLAN

Recommended Reading. Before the Birth

BOOKS FROM ACROSS THE POND

HOME-GROWN MANUALS

To Save Until after the Birth

Acknowledgements

Copyright

About the Publisher

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For my mother,

who was there from the very beginning

.....

Chapter 21 Helping Hands: Useful Contacts

THIRD STAGE - EIGHT WEEKS TO GO

.....

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