Читать книгу Stand and Deliver!: And other Brilliant Ways to Give Birth - Emma Mahony - Страница 38

While we are firmly into our bodies, it is time to have a brief word about bottoms. Bottoms are useful things, because their workings can help us understand about what happens in labour. I was told by a friend who had an epidural birth that delivering a baby was like ‘pushing a basketball out of your bum’. Certainly true if you are anaesthetized from the waist down and left guessing at how to get the baby out (not so if you are endorphined up to the eyeballs and your body is doing it for you).

Bottoms are particularly useful for teaching you about some of the reactions that you might experience during birth – a subject called ‘Sphincter Law’, and described by Ina May Gaskin in her Guide to Childbirth (Random House, 2003). All sphincters, including the cervix and vagina, obey certain rules. In a nutshell, they are as follows:

a) sphincters function best in an atmosphere of familiarity and privacy

b) sphincters do not obey orders, such as ‘Push!’ or ‘Just Relax!’

c) a person’s sphincter in the process of opening may suddenly close down if that person becomes upset, frightened, humiliated or self-conscious

d) a relaxed mouth and jaw (laughing, singing, speaking loving words, telling bottom jokes or mooing are particularly recommended) is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, vagina or anus to open to full capacity.

This last tenet of the law could be practised in the bathroom when next sitting on the pot home alone.

You only have to remember the last time you clamped up in the office loo when the boss walked in, or the last bout of constipation brought on by travelling through foreign towns with restrooms that you didn’t want to visit, to know that Gaskin is right. ‘According to Sphincter Law, labours that don’t result in a normal birth after a “reasonable” amount of time are often slowed or stalled because of lack of privacy, fear and stimulation of the wrong part of the labouring woman’s brain,’ she writes. If you fear that Sphincter Law will not be respected in your chosen place of birth, perhaps it is wise investing in a Do-not-disturb sign or a bouncer at the door. Finally, when in labour, midwife Mary Cronk advises that you remember the Four Fs: Feel Free to Fart Freely.