Читать книгу Last Stop Marriage - Emma Darcy, Emma Darcy - Страница 11

DAN was so used to dealing with officials in foreign countries, Lin Zhiyong presented no problem to him. He exchanged the proper courtesies with the appropriate amount of respect, and Jayne had to admire his deft charm in sidestepping some subtly probing questions from their wily host. Dan was giving nothing away, not his private nor his professional motives for being here.

Having gained no useful information whatsoever, Lin Zhiyong found his presence required by other guests and moved away to observe what transpired between Dan and Jayne at a distance. Jayne had privately decided that if she stuck rigidly to business she was on safe ground.

‘Shall we stroll around the pond?’ Dan suggested, taking the initiative from her with consummate ease. ‘It will entertain Baby. I trust we have some leisure time for entertaining Baby this evening.’

Jayne felt a flush scorching up her neck and quickly half turned to accompany him side-by-side. If he hadn’t exactly misled her about Baby when she had called him, he had certainly not laid out the truth for her. Nevertheless, she hated the feeling of being in the wrong, hated even more Dan driving it home to her.

‘I didn’t realise that Baby was actually a baby,’ she admitted, wanting to clear the decks between them. ‘When I called you I was still in shock from Monty’s collapse.’

‘Monty now, is it? You called him Mr. Castle on the phone.’

‘I didn’t know how well you knew him.’

‘How well do you know him?’

The pointed question startled her into glancing at him. His gaze locked onto hers, holding it. He looked dark and dangerous, his eyes glittering with savage mockery. She stopped walking and confronted him face-on, deeply insulted by what he was implying.

‘Are you asking if I’m sleeping with a man who’s old enough to be my father?’ she demanded, her own eyes projecting twin bolts of blue lightning to sizzle that idea out of his brain.

‘It’s been done by many a younger woman than you, Jayne. They usually have one thing in common.’ His gaze raked her from head to foot. ‘They’re magnificently dressed and dripping with jewellery.’

Jayne almost stamped her foot in outrage at his horribly false interpretation of her dressing tonight. ‘I bought this outfit myself,’ she declared, breathing fire. ‘In Hong Kong where we had a few days’ stopover before coming on here. And the jewellery is costume jewellery, which I also bought myself.’

‘It must have cost a lot.’

‘I earn a lot. And Monty Castle is my boss. Nothing more.’

‘An extremely generous boss.’

‘He happens to value me very highly, which is more than you did. I’m good at what I do.’

‘You always were.’

‘If you think that after you…’ She stopped, appalled at having been goaded so far.

‘Do go on, Jayne,’ he invited silkily. ‘You hold me fascinated. Are you implying that marriage to me put you off men altogether?’

No. There simply hadn’t been anyone with Dan’s sexual magnetism. Not for her. Dressed in a formal dinner suit, as he was tonight, he was as lethally attractive as ever, and Jayne was swamped with the feeling she would never really want any other man.

The reverse obviously wasn’t true for Dan. She reminded herself forcefully of that by looking straight at the child he’d had with another woman. ‘Where’s the baby’s mother?’ she asked point-blank. If he wanted to talk lovers, let him answer to her!

‘She died soon after Baby was born.’

Jayne’s fire wilted. ‘I’m sorry.’ The words tripped out automatically, with no real sincerity. She was plunged into a state of confusion, pain mixed with relief, guilt, shame…

Here was a little baby girl, robbed of her mother virtually from birth. It was terribly, terribly wrong to feel glad the woman was permanently out of Dan’s life. It wasn’t as if she wanted to resume life with Dan, certainly not on the same terms as before. Besides, for all she knew, he could have formed another relationship by now. There might be more babies on the way!

This one didn’t look uncared for. In fact she was beautifully, lovingly dressed in festival clothes. She wore a gold silk tunic with a little Mandarin collar. Underneath it were long pants in scarlet silk. There were beaded gold slippers on her tiny feet and scarlet ribbons tied around her head. She appeared to be as much adored and cherished as Chinese babies were by their parents.

‘Do you have someone to help look after the baby?’ Jayne asked, pursuing her thoughts to their logical end.

‘No. I do it myself.’

‘Everything?’ Jayne’s eyes flew up to his in sceptical amazement.

‘Do you find something wrong with that, Jayne?’

It wasn’t what most men would do. But then, Dan had never been like most men. He was a law unto himself and the only way to deal with him, live with him, was on his terms.

‘I didn’t think you’d take a child this young into the field with you when you’re planting explosives,’ she answered.

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s dangerous.’

‘Not with me.’

‘The noise…’

‘Baby likes big booms, don’t you, sweetheart?’

‘Boom-boom,’ the baby crowed back at him, clapping her hands as a chorus.

Jayne gave up the unwinnable argument and resumed walking, mortified at the thought that Lin Zhiyong had probably witnessed that incautious little scene. She fiercely vowed she would not be trapped into any more personal conversation. There was nothing to be gained by it and it only inflamed the heartburn that was eroding the composure it was vitally important for her to keep.

Dan wasn’t about to change his rootless way of life. He was even bringing up his child to accept it as normal, carting her with him everywhere as though she didn’t need anything but him. If she didn’t, it made nonsense of Jayne’s contention that children required a proper home base to give them a sense of security. Was Dan proving a point to her? Was that why he had come?

She mentally shook her head. It was far too extreme, even for Dan, to fly from Morocco to China to show her she was wrong. An infant didn’t prove his case anyhow. Wait until Baby reached school age and see how she liked an ever-changing environment!

Dan had to intend taking up Monty’s contract. Jayne felt compelled to pin him down to some firm decision before the competitor for his services arrived. It would not favour her position if Dan appeared to be weighing one offer against another in front of Lin Zhiyong.

‘Monty told me you visited him this afternoon,’ she began.

‘Yes. He was able to curl his left fingers around Baby’s hand. It’s a good sign for recovery.’

‘The doctors say his progress is very promising. He’s well enough now to be flown home to Australia but he wants to settle everything with you first. Do you see some problem with fulfilling the contract?’

‘No.’

‘Monty said you deferred discussing it until tomorrow.’

‘I like to scout a deal before committing myself to it.’

‘What do you need to scout? You said the job was simple.’

‘Other things aren’t so simple.’

‘For example?’

‘Don’t push me, Jayne.’ The warning was spoken in a low, harsh tone. ‘I’ll do what I choose to do in my own time.’

It wasn’t easy to quell her vexation at his elu-siveness but she knew the warning was not an idle one. Persistence would irritate him, any attempt at persuasion would be treated with scorn, and she didn’t have the power to seduce him from his self-set course, She had become bitterly resigned to that last fact before she had made the decision to leave him two years ago.

Their path had circumnavigated the pond and was now approaching one end of the bridge. Jayne looked toward the pavilion where most of the guests had gathered to enjoy the refreshments laid out for them. She didn’t want to join them, not while she was still riven with uncertainty about Dan’s intentions. She would probably choke on the moon cakes she would feel obliged to eat, especially since they were a symbol of reunion.

This meeting with Dan could hardly be classed as a reunion!

She felt sick with tension. Nothing was how she had expected it to be. She was sure she would have coped much better if Dan had been with another woman. That would have killed off any personal element straight away.

The baby really hurt. Dan as a devoted father hurt more. If she had stayed with him…no, she couldn’t start thinking that. She had achieved something for herself over the past two years and she would not let Dan diminish that now. It was important to her to have an identity of her own, to know she was worth something by herself. Although the way things were going, Dragon Lady might very well end up a big fizzle this evening.

Baby pointed up to the full moon that was now dominating the clear evening sky and spurted forth a babble of baby pleasure that brought Dan to an attentive halt. He smiled indulgently at her, then turned his gaze to the object of her delight.

‘If you look hard enough you’ll see the lady in the moon,’ he crooned softly.

‘The man,’ Jayne corrected, reacting sharply to being shut out of their closeness.

Dan slowly turned his head and looked at her with heart-twisting derision. ‘You’re in China, Jayne. Don’t you know the old Chinese legend?’

Wherever he went he habitually asked questions of the local people, interested in their lives, their culture, their history. He picked up knowledge as easily as a sponge soaking up water. Jayne had never mastered the art, too wary of putting a foot wrong and possibly causing offence. For a woman there were many pitfalls in foreign countries that didn’t seem to exist for men.

‘I’m sorry I don’t have your knack for drawing stories from people, and I don’t read Chinese,’ she said flatly.

‘And you’re too self-absorbed to wonder about anything outside yourself.’

‘That’s not true.’ The criticism stung. Was that how he had seen her at the end?

‘Isn’t it, Jayne?’ he retorted softly. ‘You didn’t even ask me how I was when you rang. You thought only of your needs.’

‘Monty’s needs. I was following his instructions,’ she pleaded, realising for the first time that Dan had been deeply offended by her avoidance of ordinary civilities.

‘You dealt with me as though I were a stranger.’

She couldn’t deny it, yet she had deliberately used her personal connection with him to convince Lin Zhiyong that Dan Drayton was hers for the asking! Jayne squirmed with shame. Dan was right. He deserved better from her. Much better. They had loved each other once, shared many happy times together. To excuse her lack of any personal exchange with him on the grounds that it was easier not to remember those happy times did not mitigate the offence given.

‘I’m sorry. I was upset. I didn’t know how you’d react to hearing from me and I…’ Her hands fluttered up in apologetic appeal. ‘…I just did my job, Dan.’

‘Your all-important job:’ His voice was a taunting lilt of irony. ‘Has it filled every hole in your life, Jayne? Are you content with what you have now?’

‘I get satisfaction from accomplishing things, meeting goals, seeing results. Is there something wrong with that?’ she challenged quietly, aware she was treading on very thin ice.

He made it crystal clear he was on a low tolerance level with her. It might very well be her attitude toward him that would tip the scales either for or against taking over the contract from Monty. When he made no reply, she asked, ‘What do you want from me, Dan?’

‘The same thing you want. Satisfaction.’ He turned his face back up to the moon. ‘Legend has it that the lady’s name was Chang Er. She was married to a tyrannical king. Did you find me a tyrannical husband, Jayne?’

‘No. You were never that.’

‘Chang Er was afraid for her people. Were you afraid of me?’

‘No.’

‘The tyrannical king came into possession of an elixir that would make him immortal. Chang Er realised his tyranny would go on and on forever. She saw only one escape from it. Why did you feel you had to escape from me, Jayne?’

‘I needed a different life to the one you were bent on pursuing, Dan.’

She saw his jaw tighten. After a few moments he went on with the story. ‘Chang Er wanted a different life, too. To rescue her people from the fate of being eternally yoked to such a king, she stole the elixir and drank it herself. The moment she had swallowed the last drop, she was transported to the moon where she lives to this day in total isolation.’

He paused, then softly added, ‘I wonder if she still believes immortality was worth what she ended up with. I wonder how much she feels the loneliness of the long nights. Do you have an answer for that, Jayne?’

‘She thought it was for the best and elected to pay whatever the price was. But the nights can be very long and very lonely,’ she acknowledged quietly, regretting the emotional scars she had left on him.

‘Do you think she would do the same again, knowing what her fate is now?’

‘Yes. It was a matter of survival.’

‘Perhaps it would have been an easier solution if she’d simply killed off the king. Wiped him out.’ He swung his gaze back to her, his eyes glittering with hard purpose. ‘That way she’d never have to see him, hear from him, or think of him again, and she could live as she pleased, free of any burdens he’d piled on her. Don’t you prefer that scenario?’

‘I think self-sacrifice makes for a better legend,’ she answered warily, realising that he was lashing out at her for having completely cut him out of her life as though he had never mattered.

The truth was, he had mattered too much. She had been afraid of weakening if she kept in touch with him, torn between the need for the intensely passionate feelings that had tied them together and the compulsion to find her own feet apart from him.

‘How much are you prepared to sacrifice in order to keep your precious job with Monty Castle, Jayne?’

So the gauntlet was down with a vengeance!

He wanted satisfaction.

The critical question was, what would satisfy him?

She could walk away from this job, just as she had walked away from him two years ago. That option was certainly open to her. But she didn’t want to take it. There was more at stake here than a job. She wasn’t sure she wanted to walk away from Dan again. Perhaps there was some other solution that she had been blind to in her desperation for a settled existence within an ambit she had some personal control over.

Her gaze slid down to the child, contentedly propped against his broad shoulder. Could she accept a baby that was his and not hers?

‘What is her name?’ she asked gruffly.

‘Baby.’

‘Not your pet name for her. Her Christian name.’

‘I never thought of any other name but Baby.’

‘For God’s sake, Dan! She has to have a proper name.’

‘What’s wrong with Baby? She likes it. She responds to it. I’m not going to confuse her by calling her something else.’

‘What about when she goes to school? Grows up? You can’t expect her to live with a name like Baby,’ Jayne cried in exasperation at his stubborn obtuseness.

‘The only nickname she can get is Babe. She’ll be fine.’

‘Only a man could think like that!’

‘So I’m a man. She hasn’t got a mother to give finer female consideration to a name.’

‘Any mother would be tossing around names while she was pregnant. You must know what her mother wanted,’ Jayne fired at him.