Читать книгу Crazy For You - Emma Heatherington, Emma Heatherington - Страница 10

Anything That Can Go Ring, Will Go Wrong

Jonathan wiped his face with a towel and stared closely at his reflection in the mirror. To shave or not to shave, he thought, rubbing an even patch of fair stubble across the bottom of his chin. Shannon would be here soon with a “to do list” that was the length of her pretty legs, but Jonathan just couldn’t get his head around guest names or menus or anything remotely wedding- orientated at the moment.

He had sincerely been looking forward to the whole occasion, which they had originally planned for the following year. But then Jonathan’s entire world had turned on its axis a few days ago and Shannon had insisted that the big event be catapulted into the very near future.

His mother had cried the entire way home from the hospital on Friday. Having learned that her cancer had spread was a huge shock and poor Isobel had been diagnosed with a worst-case scenario – liver cancer and no option of surgery or treatment; just a very short space of time to suffer dreadfully in full view of her friends and family.

Thank God Eddie was home, he thought, even if he was pulling some sort of silly stunt by bringing Daisy into the equation with their stupid tale of a made-up love affair. Even the dogs on the street knew Eddie was gay. Why did he feel he had to pretend? And why Daisy of all people? He was playing with fire by bringing her so closely back into their lives. Jonathan fished a disposable razor from his holdall and squirted some shaving foam onto his chin. Just because the walls were caving in around him didn’t mean he had to turn into a scruff, and Shannon was bringing her mother along today so there would be hell to pay if he didn’t look the part.

He pulled on a pair of navy tracksuit bottoms and a cool white polo shirt that complemented the tan he’d picked up on a quick weekend in the South of France with Shannon and her parents. Despite the heavy rain, the air in Killshannon was muggy and if the weatherman were telling the truth, they were in for a heat wave over the next few days.

On his way through the hallway, Jonathan could hear laughter spilling from the kitchen. He could hear the words “girlfriend” and “Daisy” in the same sentence and he shook his head. When was his baby brother going to grow up? And what did Daisy think she was playing at? This was nonsense and if Eddie kept this up he’d have to have a firm word in his ear. He and Daisy were history…a very hurtful history at that, so this was unfair on everyone and he would soon be telling them so.

The front doorbell rang and caught him unawares so he tidied himself quickly and sprayed on a dot of aftershave in a last-minute dash to look respectable. Shannon was early as usual and he wasn’t half-prepared for her arrival. He ruffled his hands through his hair, pulled on a pair of trainers and went to answer the door.

“Hi. Er, I had no idea you would still be here, I swear. Sorry.”

Jonathan squinted in the evening light and took a step backwards. It wasn’t Shannon. It was Daisy and, like himself, she looked a lot fresher than she had done earlier. Her fair hair was tied back into a loose ponytail and she was dressed in a white t-shirt and comfy track bottoms. She looked gorgeous. He stared at her and couldn’t even manage an answer.

“Snap,” she said with a strained smile, taking in his attire from top to bottom and he was glad of the twilight to hide his shock at seeing her again so soon. He glanced down. Their outfits were almost identical, and he managed an equally forced smile, before composing himself again.

“If it isn’t the Sunflake Girl,” he replied. “Your boyfriend’s in the kitchen. Come on through.”

Daisy didn’t know if she was more stunned that Jonathan was still in Isobel’s house or that he’d remembered that she had appeared in a long-running cereal bar commercial years ago. He turned and led the way through to the kitchen, where Eddie was cracking open a bottle of wine at the table.

“Daisy, my darling. It’s so great to see you,” chirped Isobel, in the liveliest voice she could muster. “Eddie has been filling me in. This is so wonderful. It’s been months since you’ve been in Killshannon and years since we’ve all been together.”

Daisy glanced at Eddie, who had already developed black lips from the red wine and was giving her the thumbs up behind his mother’s back when she stood up to welcome her visitor.

“Oh, Isobel. It’s so good to see you too.” Daisy wrapped her arms around her frail shoulders, afraid she might break them. The tears welled up in her eyes. “How do you feel?”

Isobel sat weakly back onto her chair and nestled her stemmed glass of sparkling water between her tiny fingers.

“Oh, you know,” she said with a look that shouted “shit happens.” “But I’m just having a wee drink with my baby boy to celebrate his homecoming. I can’t tell you how happy this has made me, Daisy. I always knew you’d end up with one of my boys.”

Isobel winked at Daisy when the boys weren’t looking and Daisy realised straight away that, just as her own mum had predicted, Isobel was happy to play along for now. Jonathan met Daisy’s eye and then quickly turned away.

“Any word from Shanny yet, Mum? She’s normally really punctual,” he asked sternly.

Daisy rolled her eyes. Shanny. How sad. It rhymed with a certain part of the female anatomy and didn’t sound very endearing at all.

“Who?” asked Isobel. “Oh, Shannon? Of course. You know, with all this news from Eddie, I almost forgot that Shannon and Mrs Cassidy were coming over this evening. Isn’t this great? We’ll all be together for the first time.”

“Mum, you know Mrs Cassidy prefers to be called by her first name,” said Jonathan and then realised he had opened a can of worms. This could only add to his misery and discomfort.

“I know, love, but I just can’t bring myself to say it,” giggled Isobel. “I mean, who in their right mind would want to be known as Fanny nowadays?”

Daisy looked at Eddie whose eyes widened with delight. He could have fun with this one. He and Daisy specialised in toilet humour and this was right up their street.

“I’m sure she will be thrilled to see us all,” said Daisy with a newly found confidence. “And I can’t wait to meet Fanny face to face myself. There’s a first time for everything.”

Eddie thought he was going to explode, but the look on his brother’s face warned him not to.

“So am I. I’ve never seen Fanny face to face either,” he roared.

“Oh, here we go. How very mature,” muttered Jonathan, “and how very, very true.” He reached for a wine glass from the top cupboard of the kitchen and poured some wine, then remembering his manners, he turned to Daisy.

“Red or white, Daisy? Or maybe you’d prefer some champagne? We have some on reserve for the run-up to the wedding, but maybe the marvellous news of yours and Eddie’s, er, relationship deserves an extra celebration?”

“Ha ha,” mimed Daisy towards him with an outward smile, hoping that Isobel didn’t see her. “Champagne would be wonderful, please Jonathan,” she said cheerily. “That’s only if you’re sure there’s enough left for Shanny and Fanny. We wouldn’t want to leave them dry.”

Eddie couldn’t hold it in any longer. He’d tried his best but he just had to give way to an almighty explosion of laughter from the corner of the room.

Jonathan ignored his brother’s reaction and handed Daisy a glass of champagne with a forced grin. His mobile phone sang a funky ring tone from the worktop and he grabbed it quickly, praying it wasn’t Shannon phoning to cancel their plans. As much as he hated the thought of wedding chat, he really needed Shannon and her mother here right now to relieve the tension between him and Daisy. Having her back in his family home reminded her too much of the past. Right now, he felt suffocated and outnumbered.

The caller display showed it was Christian, and Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief as he made his way out of the kitchen to take the call.

“Hey Christian, what’s the craic?”

“The craic’s good, Jonathan, the craic’s good,” said Christian’s familiar husky voice from the other end. He always sounded as though he had gravel in his throat and could easily have made a fortune on radio or audio versions of bonk-buster novels. “I couldn’t be better. Top of the world.”

“So the heartache is finally over. Congratulations. You’ve suffered for approximately, er, six hours and fifty-seven minutes. I pity you. Truly, I do,” laughed Jonathan, shaking his head.

“No, no. You’re getting me all wrong, Jonathan. I’ve just heard from Anna. She’s arrived safe and sound in Copenhagen and is missing me terribly. Not that I should be surprised, of course. She’s wondering if she has done the right thing, parting company at such a blooming stage of our relationship. I’m on a high after hearing from her, that’s all.”

Jonathan considered himself well and truly corrected. He had pictured his friend in a town-centre bar, eyeing up each and every skirt that walked past and frothing at the mouth with thirst. It might have been only six hours, but Jonathan was proud of Christian’s commitment to Anna so far.

“So, what’s up then? What can I do for you?” asked Jonathan. Surely Christian hadn’t rung him to tell him he’d got a phone call from his girlfriend. If that was the case, the pair of them would be on the phone constantly.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve just heard. This is going to crack you up, big time,” said Christian.

“Go for it.”

“Remember Gerry whatshisface – the smart-ass barman from The Chocolate Bar earlier today?”

“Yeah, Gerry O’Donnell. What about him?”

“Well, I just met him in the video store and he had the latest episode of your brother’s love life all wrapped up in a nutshell. You’re right about old Gerry – he has all the best contacts for gossip but this is pure mental.”

“Christian, please just get on with it.”

His friend paused. This was going to sting.

“He reckons your Eddie is shagging Daisy Anderson. Your Daisy Anderson.”

Jonathan didn’t warm to Christian’s way with words and couldn’t hide it.

“He’s not shagging her, as such. Honestly, Christian, you and your filthy mind. And she’s not my Daisy. Not anymore.” Eddie shagging Daisy? Gross, he thought, as pictures flashed through his mind. No, that would be a giant step too far.

“What? So it’s true he’s at least seeing her, then? Excuse me while I just pick myself up off the floor. And here was me expecting he had hooked up with some weird American transsexual.”

Jonathan felt irritated by Christian’s gloating where his brother and childhood girlfriend were concerned.

“Christian, it’s really no big deal. Daisy and Eddie have been good friends forever. We all were until…” He halted before saying something he might regret. “Anyhow, I think you’re getting a wee bit over-excited about something that probably won’t last a second. Eddie’s just upset over Mum and needs some reassurance from someone he knows. He trusts Daisy. That doesn’t mean for a second that he’s shagging her, so for God’s sake don’t ever say that again. It’s a scheme he has dreamed up, thinking he is pulling the wool over Mum’s eyes, but we all know the score. I’m going to have a good chat with him when I can. Daisy is just playing along to give him the reassurance he needs.”

Christian gave out a dirty cackle. “I wouldn’t mind getting a bit of reassurance from Crazy Daisy myself if it’s up for the taking.”

“Don’t say that. She’s not crazy.”

“She was at one time, in a nice way. Is she still? Come on, just because you’re getting married soon doesn’t mean you’ve lost the power of your eyes. Or your heart.”

“You are one messed up mother…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve no intention of hitting on her behind your back. I’ve eyes for only one woman myself but I’m still curious. Is she still hot?”

At that, Daisy came into the hallway, brushing past Jonathan on her way to the bathroom. The hallway in the houses of Ivy Cottages were extremely narrow and Jonathan’s manly frame took up most of the space as he leaned with one arm against the wall. Daisy looked at the floor the entire time, breathing in so that their bodies wouldn’t accidentally touch.

Jonathan waited until she turned left through the pine door and locked it from the inside before answering. He rubbed his forehead and took a breath.

“Not really hot. Sort of lukewarm, I’d say.”

In truth, he felt like he was in a sauna. He was burning up from how hot Daisy looked right now.

“Lying bastard. Don’t lie to me. How does she look?”

Jonathan was getting really peeved. Just because Christian was bored without Anna didn’t mean he had to stand here all evening and listen to him talking shit.

“Christian, will you drop it for God’s sake?” he whispered through gritted teeth. “She just walked past and you were drooling down the phone like a bloody pervert. You might still think she’s hot but I don’t. Now give it a rest, will you? ”

“Wait a minute. Daisy is there?” asked Christian. “In your mum’s house? And Shannon is on her way over with her posh mummy-poos Fanny? I swear to God I would pay money to be a fly on the wall.”

The lock of the bathroom door opened and Daisy walked back into the hallway. How women managed to pee so quickly when you didn’t want them to was one of life’s greatest mysteries, thought Jonathan. He glanced towards her and then darted his gaze away when their eyes met for a second.

“So, honey, I’ll see you very soon,” he said loudly to Christian so that Daisy could hear his every word.

Christian let out a stammer. “Is this Jonathan or Eddie? I’m not gay, Ed. It’s time you faced the truth.”

“I love you too, Shanny. Yeah, I know, I know. I’ll see you real soon.”

Jonathan continued to mumble sweet nothings to a bewildered Christian when the doorbell rang.

“You hang up.”

“No you hang up,” said Christian in a girly voice. He had finally caught on to the fact that this was all for Daisy’s benefit.

“I’ll get it,” said Daisy, turning and making her way back towards the front door. “I’d hate to disturb such a romantic conversation.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll see you in a few minutes, pet. I can’t wait either. Drive carefully,” said Jonathan.

Daisy opened the door while Jonathan continued to mumble into the phone behind her and she was greeted by a colt-like girl with platinum hair in a neat bob and wearing a pale-blue trench coat. Her mother stood alongside her, lean and fair, equally as glamorous and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“You must be Shannon and Fa…, I mean, Mrs Cassidy. How are you?” Daisy couldn’t speak more enthusiastically if she tried, and managed to do so at ear-bursting volume. She extended her arm to shake hands with the pair on their way in through the shiny red door and shot Jonathan a smug glance with raised eyebrows. “I’m an old friend of the family – Daisy Anderson. I’m afraid Jonathan is just taking a very important phone call.”

Daisy opened the door wide to let the visitors in and looked over at Jonathan, who had his mouth open and the phone still to his ear, knowing his act of cable romance had been well and truly discovered a farce.

“Lovely to meet you, Daisy,” said Shannon. She appeared no more than sixteen but had a streetwise look in her eye and her coat had obviously cost an arm and a leg.

Daisy longed to touch it.

“It’s John Rocha,” said Shannon, noticing how Daisy was eyeing her coat up. “Ahem. I can’t say Jonathan has ever mentioned you, but you know what men are like. I’m sure he would have told me about you sooner or later if you were important to him.”

Daisy smirked and nodded towards Jonathan, who was making his way towards them. “Yes, I sure do know what men are like,” she said. “Especially the Eastwood men, now that you come to mention it. I know them very, very well indeed.”

Jonathan marched towards them before Daisy could say any more and took his visitors’ coats.

“Daisy is Eddie’s new girlfriend. My very happy brother, Eddie,” he said smugly. That would put her right back in her place. “Come on through, ladies. Mum has opened a few bottles of wine to lighten the mood.”

Jonathan was humiliated. Why had he felt the need to pretend he was talking to Shannon on the phone anyway? He knew she would be arriving on the doorstep any minute and he would have his chance then to show Daisy how happy and in love he was. If Christian hadn’t been putting him under so much pressure he’d have been able to think straight. Now he had to pull himself together.

“Ah, Shannon, love. Mrs Cassidy. It’s wonderful to see you both,” said Isobel when they entered the kitchen. “This is my son, Eddie. I don’t think you’ve all met before.”

“Shannon and I met just yesterday,” said Eddie. “We had a very worthwhile chat, but I’ve never met Mrs Cassidy before. It’s a pleasure.”

Eddie really wanted to use her first name but saying he had never met Fanny before would be just too close to the truth. He felt the laughter rise again. Think of a compliment, quickly.

“Lovely to meet you, Eddie, and Daisy of course,” said Shannon’s mother as she looked at the unlikely couple.

“Totally likewise,” Eddie replied in a nervous stammer. “Jonathan has told us all about you and I can definitely see where Shannon gets her good looks from.”

Eddie could feel Daisy’s eyes burn through him like hot rods.

“What a charmer. Just like his big brother, eh?” said Mrs Cassidy. “Please, just call me Fanny.”

Eddie had to turn towards the sink and pretend he had something stuck in his throat before he totally let himself down. He could see Daisy’s glare turn into a smirk from the side of his eye and was getting hot under the collar from the urge to laugh every time he heard the woman’s name.

“How about we put on some music, Isobel?” said Daisy, coming to the rescue.

“Good idea, darling,” said Eddie with relief as he swallowed a mouthful of tap water. “What would you like to hear, Mum? Elvis? Tom Jones? I bet you’re in a Cliff mood. You have that look in your eye.” Eddie knew he had to try to be funny very quickly in order to release some of his pent-up laughter, so he smacked his teeth and danced around the kitchen mocking his mother’s favourite singer. Isobel pretended to be embarrassed but inside she was glowing with pride.

“Oh, go on then. Cliff it is. You know me too well,” she said, even though music had been the furthest thing from her mind over the past while. Perhaps it would do her good.

“I have the entire wedding guest list written out, but nobody told me about Daisy so I’ll have to add her on alongside Eddie,” said Shannon in a loud voice as she sat at the kitchen table and pulled out a ream of A4 paper from a folder marked “Our Wedding”. “This is so exciting. I don’t have any sisters to help me with my wedding plans. Do you, Daisy?”

“No. Just one brother, Richard. But I’m not getting married for a long time, so I really don’t mind.”

Shannon wrote down Daisy’s name in her neatest handwriting and Daisy felt bile rising in her throat. A neat freak. How could Jonathan have settled for a neat freak?

“I don’t know anyone else called Daisy,” said Shannon as she wrote. “You don’t look like a Daisy.”

“You mean, she doesn’t look like a yellow and white flower,” said Eddie. “I think she does. So cute.”

“No, you look more like…like a Mary or an Anne,” said Shannon. “Something a bit plainer than Daisy.”

Daisy felt her cheeks burn. She knew she was dressed very casually but “plain”? Oh dear…

“I’m sure Daisy would be only too delighted to come to our wedding,” Jonathan said, with a touch of sarcasm.

“Yes, and maybe you can help Daisy when it comes to our turn to walk up the aisle, Shannon,” said Eddie. “Daisy would be only too delighted to have you as her bridesmaid since you will be sisters-in-law after all.”

Daisy kicked Eddie hard on the shin from under the table but he was too busy smiling at his mother, who was too engrossed in the happy scene to heed Daisy’s anguish.

“Really, Eddie,” said Daisy. “I’m sure Shannon would rather concentrate on her own wedding for now. It’s hardly fair to start planning for ours just yet. We’re not even engaged, remember?”

Jonathan noticed squinting and shrugging between Eddie and Daisy and when he saw Eddie reach under the table to rub his battered shin for the second time, he recognised a moment for triumph.

“Actually, we’d love to hear about your wedding plans. Go on, tell us all,” he said with glee. “Am I the best man?”

Daisy gave him a hard stare. “That is entirely up to Eddie, not me, thank goodness.”

“Oh, have you set a date yet?” asked Shannon, lifting a diary from her handbag in a matter of seconds. “I hope it’s not on a school day, with so many teachers in the family. What do you work as, Daisy? You look like…let me guess…”

“Ahem, like I said, we haven’t officially got engaged yet so this really is all a bit premature…” said Shannon. She would have loved to have told Shannon that she was a famous actress like that scene in Notting Hill where the guy didn’t recognise Julia Roberts and watched her squirm, but she didn’t get time to even answer…

“And will you start a family straight away?” asked Shannon. “I just know Jonathan is dying to be a daddy. Oh, do you hear me! Maybe you already have children, do you Daisy? You never know with modern couples these days. Most people have so much baggage. But not Jonathan and I, thankfully.”

Daisy’s heart beat as though she had just run a marathon. What was this – The Weakest Link with Shannon as quizmaster? Where the hell had that last question come from? What did she know? Her stomach felt sick.

“That’s not exactly the immediate plan and…no, to your, um, second question.”

She glanced at Jonathan, who swiftly looked away.

“But we are madly in love,” piped Eddie. “It will all be announced soon, so dust off your frocks, folks and put the champers on ice. And yes, Jonathan, I suppose you can be my best man. I was trying to decide between you and my other five invisible brothers.”

Daisy realised the keep-it-simple plan had now disintegrated entirely as Eddie was almost bouncing in his chair. He looked so gay that Shanny and Fanny would have to be dumb and dumber not to realise it. Poor Eddie was the only one who believed in his little game. Oh, and Shannon too, but so far she wasn’t proving to be on the ball at all.

“Tell me all your ideas, please,” squealed Shannon. “I’m so into weddings at the minute and I just love to swap stories with other brides-to-be…plus I want mine to be the best, of course, so I need to hear about the competition.”

Daisy shuffled uneasily in her seat.

“How about a venue? We could recommend a few beautiful hotels,” suggested Fanny, joining in with as much enthusiasm as her over-excited daughter. Dumb and dumber they were, then. “And we have all the latest bridal magazines so no need to buy any. You can have all of ours.”

“I…I’m not quite sure if…” Daisy couldn’t get a word in.

“Or a photographer?” added Jonathan. “Shannon has all the names and contact numbers on file. Why don’t you meet up over the next few days and make a few provisional bookings? You don’t want to waste any time.”

Daisy’s mouth tightened. She could see what Jonathan was doing and what a big a kick he was getting out of it all. Well, two could play that game.

“I suppose so,” she said, and his face fell. “In fact, I’d love that. We should set a date as soon as possible, eh Eddie?”

Eddie looked over with glee at his mother, who to him was quietly enjoying all the buzz and fuss filling her house. This was worth all the pretence, he thought, worth all the little white lies if would give her a sense of contentment in her last few months.