Читать книгу Better Food for a Better World - Erin McGraw - Страница 10

When outsiders ask what we do every week, we say, “Look after one another.” Anybody who likes the sound of that wants to hear more. Anybody who looks uncomfortable isn’t Life Ties material.

Like the members of any club, we have a common interest, and more than for the members of most clubs, that interest is personal. When a couple walks in the door we know which partner does the laundry and how often, and who pays which bills. Everything comes with a bill, Vivy would say. Half of marriage is keeping your account books straight.

Vivy and Sam, Cecilia and David, and Nancy and Paul take a lot of the limelight. They show us all the things marriage can be: Nancy and Paul fight, Cecilia and David talk, Vivy and Sam laugh. Fighting and talking are safe. A little laughter is good, but too much laughing hides problems. We have spent many hours discussing the heartache behind Vivy and Sam’s joking. There are several theories. We keep a close eye.

The newcomers listen, but they keep their opinions quiet, which is sensible. Newcomers already have their hands full. They’re usually here because one of them—sometimes both of them—just had an affair, and they come in shivering with guilt or fury. As soon as one of them starts talking, they go off like firecrackers. More than once we’ve had to pull them off each other, and when we get them separated they’re crying, they’re kicking, they’re trying to kiss each other. They give off a kind of light. They may be miserable, but they’ve never been so alive.

At meetings the new members talk for twenty minutes at a shot. They turn into Clarence Darrows. Somebody eventually has to cut them off, or we’d be sitting here all night. After the group leader asks the new people how they’d like to atone and rebuild their marriages, the ones who have good long-term Life Ties potential propose massive jobs—digging up wide banks of yews, reshingling the whole house. We have to talk them into something reasonable, but secretly we’re all thinking they were right in the first place. People who want to repair their marriages have to put their backs into the effort.

After four, six, maybe even eight months, the new ones start to calm down. They don’t talk so long, and we can tell by their soft, wandering hands that they’re having sex again. We stop hearing about every time someone didn’t get all the grit out of the lettuce. Sometimes we can see them looking around, looking out the window. Sometimes we can see them falling asleep.

The drop-off is pretty quick—only a few weeks before they’re gone. When we see them on the streets they nod and smile but then look away, embarrassed at all we know and hoping we don’t remember their stories.

Of course we do remember the stories, at least the good ones. We cherish them. Those stories are the very things that bring meaning to the Life Ties Statement of Beliefs recited at the start of meetings:

 We believe that we are put on this earth to improve it. Through our marriages, we become models.

 We believe that marriage is a total union. We share our thoughts, fears, emotions, and intentions with our partners. Marriage creates a single unit, without boundaries or divisions.

 We believe that our marriages are the center of our lives. Every choice we make must consider our marriages first, last, and foremost.

 Every decision made alone is a betrayal. Every decision made in community helps us build. Through new marriages we build a new community. Through a new community we build a new world.

 Marriage is our first strength, our full humanity, our unique creation. We gather each week to reaffirm our unions, to celebrate our strength, to admit our failings, and to vow to improve.

When David and Cecilia read the Statement, they linger over the words as if they were prayer. Nancy and Paul frown, looking for some point of order. But Vivy and Sam barely pay attention. Sam stretches out and closes his eyes while Vivy fiddles with a button. One night she hemmed a pair of pants. Offended, the newcomers tell us that the Jilets look like a couple of teenagers kept for detention. The newcomers are surprised Vivy and Sam come back at all. The newcomers look at us for an explanation, so we tell them all there is to say: Vivy and Sam are there like weather. You never know what it will be, but you know there will be some. One reason to come back is to watch them. Another is to see how long they can last.