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Table of Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Prologue: The Giant Adult Sandbox from Hell

Chapter One: Leatherface and Starfish Ted

Chapter Two: She’s Cute. Would I Do Her?

Chapter Three: Girlie

Chapter Four: If I Wanted to Educate the Youth of America, I’d Have Been a Fucking Nursery School Teacher

Chapter Five: Bonus Season

Chapter Six: Hotel Cromwell

Chapter Seven: Sake Bombs

Chapter Eight: Go-Go Gadget Undies

Chapter Nine: You’re Going to Eat the Vending Machine for $28,000?

Chapter Ten: Charity Begins at Home

Chapter Eleven: The Petting Zoo

Chapter Twelve: I’m Responsible for the Destruction of Corporate Feminism

Chapter Thirteen: Eat My Dust, Tony the Tiger

Chapter Fourteen: Buyer of That Babe in Size

Chapter Fifteen: Wet My Lips Wednesday

Chapter Sixteen: The Sugar Sweetie

Chapter Seventeen: Financial Armageddon

Chapter Eighteen: Golden Handcuffs

Chapter Nineteen: Payback’s a Bitch

Chapter Twenty: Capiche?

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Acknowledgments

About the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher