Читать книгу How I Triumphed Over Multiple Traumas - Ernest Nullmeyer - Страница 11

CHAPTER 1

Loss of My Chosen Vocation

OUR MARRIAGE

Following my graduation in theology at Toronto Bible College, my first wife and I were married in a beautiful wedding in May 1950. We were both in excellent health at the time, but little did we know that in her early thirties, Marion would be facing a very serious chronic illness that would cause her great physical and emotional suffering. It would also change the course of my vocational life, for which God had gifted me and I had trained.

MEETING and COURTSHIP

Marion Slight and I had met at my seventeenth birthday party, which was sponsored by a girl in our church youth group who worked with Marion at General Electric in Toronto, where both of them were secretaries. Marion attended a different church and was a committed Christian, singing in the church choir and teaching a girls’ Sunday school class. I too was very involved in my church, teaching a boys’ Sunday school class and leading a Friday evening “Happy Hour.” It was a program for children ages 5 through 12 that featured Gospel choruses, stories, and Bible-illustrating dramas that I wrote, performed in and directed. As I look back on that period of my life it’s hard to believe that I was involved like that while still in my teens, but I already knew that my life work would be in full-time Christian service.

Marion and I had a very happy and activity-filled courtship, even though it was a very difficult time in her life. Her dad had recently been evicted from their home for committing an offence too repulsive to go into here. It’s interesting that at the time Marion was dealing with the pain of witnessing her dad being evicted from their home, I too was dealing with a similar painful problem.

Also she had a 30-year-old brother with Down Syndrome, who took up most of her mother’s time. She and her other siblings had always felt neglected by their mother, which often happens in families where there is a child who demands almost full-time attention.

However, in spite of all that was going on in her home, Marion was a beautiful fun-loving teenager.

EARNING MONEY FOR COLLEGE

As I didn’t have any money saved up from my many summer jobs to attend college, my parents were not able to help me financially, and there were at that time no government student grants or loans, I needed to work for a year.

I applied for a position I saw advertised for a high school graduate to be assistant to the purchasing agent of a company located in the east end of Toronto that manufactured dry cleaning equipment. I received a phone call to set up an interview. I travelled by streetcar (three different ones) to get to the interview, and when I heard more details about the job (including an attractive salary for a kid just out of high school), I thought, Wow! I would like this job.

In a few days I received a phone call from the general manager informing me that I had been accepted for the position and I was to report the following Monday. Wow! What exciting news: my very first full-time job!

On the Monday, I was up bright and early, dressed in the one and only suit I owned, and it was “It’s off to work I go,” as the seven dwarfs in Snow White sang. I received a warm welcome from all the office staff and spent a few days beside the purchasing agent to get my introduction into the world of purchasing. I loved every minute of the job, and after six months I was ecstatic at receiving my first pay increase. Soon I was working on my own, contacting companies by phone to order parts and tools for the factory. I then had to confirm those calls with a typed-out purchase order. What a blessing that I had learned typing skills in high school and in fact was one of the top students in the class!

What I didn’t know when I accepted the job was that the company was in the process of building a large new factory and offices in Newmarket. The move to the new location was planned for sometime in early spring. When asked if I would make the move, I didn’t hesitate. It would be a great experience for me.

One problem I had was where I would live in the town. No need to worry, as the manager of the painting department, learning that I had decided to go to Newmarket, asked if I would like room and board in his home. He and his wife had just moved into a brand new large house in the town and, as they didn’t have any children, thought it would be great to have a young man reside in their home. Once again—as so often in my life—my mom’s favourite Bible verse came to mind: “God will provide” (Genesis 22:8, NKJV). And He did! The lovely couple (Alf and Ruth) indeed did treat me like a son; in fact they spoiled me with great meals and lots of TLC (tender loving care).

During the time I worked in Newmarket I travelled by bus to Toronto each weekend to spend time with Marion and my family, and we both continued as Sunday school teachers.

PURCHASING OR PREACHING?

As I was coming to the end of the summer, I had to keep wrestling with the fact that in my heart I knew that God was calling me to full-time Christian service, to be a preacher and pastor. I had to make a decision: Would it be purchasing or preaching? The question had to be settled, and soon! My mom of course had never stopped praying that I would become a preacher. I must confess that the temptation to remain in my present situation was very tempting. I would be able to dress like the purchasing agent (I have always loved nice clothes!), drive a car like he did (I have always loved nice cars!), and live in a nice new house like he did (I had only lived in old rented houses). What to do? I had been taught in my youth that if you have a major decision to make in life, you should spend time in the Word of God and prayer. I dedicated a whole night to doing just that, wrestling with God, and by morning my decision had been made. God and my mom had won out! I would make an appointment with the Toronto Bible College registrar and apply to become a student at the college.

The day after making my decision I made an appointment to meet with the general manager of the company to inform him of my decision to resign from the job and go to Bible college. His response was “Barber college? Why would you leave a position like you have with all its potential to become a barber?” I then said the word “Bible” more clearly and that I was going to train to become a minister. His retort was “That sounds more like something you would go into.”

On my last day with the company the staff held a going-away party for me and presented me with a lovely leather briefcase, engraved with my name, which I would use daily at college.

TRAINING FOR FULL-TIME CHRISTIAN SERVICE

I travelled to Toronto one day to meet with the registrar of the college and apply as a student. In a few days I received a response from him that I had been accepted. Wow! Now I was on my way to becoming what God had been calling me to, a preacher of the Word of God and a pastor to all who would become my parishioners.

Toronto Bible College had been established for the sole purpose of training young men and women for full-time Christian ministry, to serve either as missionaries in a foreign land or in pastoral ministry. I spent wonderful and spiritually enriching years getting deep into the study of God’s Word and taking many other related subjects that would prepare me well for my chosen vocation. The curriculum included intense studies of the Bible verse by verse, systematic theology, pastoral psychology, homiletics (art of preparing a sermon), public speaking, Church history, pastoral counselling, psychology, logic (learning about syllogisms), apologetics and more.

During that time, Marion continued in her secretarial job and took evening courses at the same college. We also both continued to teach a Sunday school class in our own churches.

PAYING MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE

As my parents were not able to provide any financial support, it was necessary for me to work evenings and summers at part-time jobs, even though I had saved up considerable funds from my job in Newmarket. I also wanted to put away funds for when Marion and I would get married following my graduation.

Having to carry a full student workload and also work part-time didn’t leave me much time to date Marion, but as the saying goes, “Love finds a way”—and it did! I felt a little envious of the students whose parents could afford to pay their way, and they could just lounge around in the men’s lounge and socialize after school hours. Due to my heavy school load and part-time work load, it became necessary for me to resign from the student council as chair of evangelism. This was a very deep disappointment for me, but as the saying goes, “That’s how life goes!”

To save money, I rode my brother’s new bike to school every day when the weather was good, even though the streetcar fare was just 25 cents for four tickets. Every so often my dear dad and sister Marjorie would give me money so that I could take the streetcar.

Two part-time evening jobs I had were packing margarine at a factory and assisting the maintenance manager of the college in cleaning the many areas of the college. I packed margarine into cartons as they sped along the conveyor belts. It now reminds me of the scene where Lucy and Ethel on the I Love Lucy show were packing chocolates in the chocolate factory, and after their mouths couldn’t hold any more, they stuffed them wherever their imaginations led them to. If you remember that one, you will still be able to laugh heartily.

When we were packing the margarine, we had to include one of the colouring packets that were used to change the margarine from white to look more like butter. Farmers insisted that the margarine could not resemble butter. It was such silliness, which of course changed through the years. I worked Monday to Friday evenings from five to nine and made very good money, as it was piecework and I worked very quickly.

During the last two years of my studies, I assisted the maintenance manager in cleaning many areas of the college each day after classes. It was very convenient to have this part-time job without having to travel anywhere. It was a job I enjoyed very much, and it paid quite well. The manager often told me that the school had never looked so clean. I had learned to do housekeeping properly when I was a boy, and it was good training for when I would have to do it so often during my married life. All of my older sisters went out to work in their mid-teens, so we younger ones were assigned many household duties. We washed and dried the dishes and put them in their proper place in the cupboard, mopped or swept the linoleum kitchen floor after every meal, cleaned the toilet (yes, one toilet for 12 people!) and dusted around the house. We seldom ever complained, as we knew it had to be done, my mom was too busy with all her responsibilities, and my older sisters were out to work.

SUMMER JOBS

In order to earn enough money for the forthcoming school year, I needed to work summer jobs, as well as the after-class jobs I worked at during the school year. I will share two of the most interesting ones.

SUMMER IN QUEBEC and SEPARATION FROM MARION

As I approached the end of my first year at Bible college I prayed that God would lead me as to what I should work at for the summer. Then I had a phone call from the superintendent of home missions for our denomination—Dr. John F. Halliday—to ask if I would be interested in serving the Lord for the summer in Quebec at a Christian children’s camp. I told him I would pray about it. My first thought naturally was How will Marion and I deal with being separated for four months and not being able to enjoy activities together? We prayed about it, and we realized that as soldiers of the Cross it was a small price to pay, particularly when compared to the cost soldiers pay when they go off to war for Canada. Many of them never return to their loves, while others return physically or psychologically wounded for life. My second thought was more practical—This job will be good training for my vocation. Some days later I phoned Dr. Halliday back to tell him that I would accept his proposal, and we set up a meeting to discuss details.

Two weeks later I was on my way by train to Montreal. Marion and I had said our sad farewells for the summer, finding it of course very difficult to think of four months of being separated. I also of course said my goodbyes to my family. Mom was in tears, but she assured me she would be praying for me every day.

The founder and director of the camp picked me up at the train station and drove me to the camp, just outside Lachute, which is 62 kilometres west of Montreal. When I found out that the months of May and June would involve long hours of hard physical work, I wondered how I would ever get through it. Log cabins had to be built, and we had to construct a high concrete wall to dam the waters of a pond for a swimming pool. The work on the dam went from early morning to late in the evening, and I can still remember vividly the bites from the swarms of black flies, which left welts on any areas of our skin that were uncovered, and scratching at them all night long. We also had to erect hydro poles to provide electricity for the camp facilities.

THE BOULDER THAT SAVED MY LIFE

It’s actually more correct to say “the boulder that God used to save my life.” During the erection of one of the 40-foot cedar hydro poles, the man who was supposed to direct the bottom of the pole into the hole lost his footing and the control of the pole. As a result, the pole slipped past the hole, resulting in it crashing groundward. All of the men jumped out of the way—except me. The pole came down on me with its full weight, and had it not been for a boulder that suspended the pole, my neck would have been crushed, and I probably would not have lived to tell this amazing story or to fulfill my vision of becoming a preacher and pastor. God had protected me, as He had plans for my future. Jeremiah, the Old Testament prophet, put it this way to God’s people: “I know the plans I have for you” (Jeremiah 29:11). That rock has often reminded me of Psalm 18:2: “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer…in whom I take my refuge.” The rock on the ground in Quebec was certainly the one that provided refuge for me (my neck and my life) that day. Praise be to God!

ARRIVAL OF CAMPERS

In the first week of July the boys and girls began to arrive for a one- or two-week stay at the camp. These were children from the St. Henri district, a community southwest of Montreal made famous by author Gabrielle Roy’s book The Tin Flute. Back then it had a mixture of English- and French-speaking families. The children who came to the camp were from the English section of the city, most of them from families that were struggling financially and many of them from dysfunctional homes. Many of them attended the Sunday school of the church that was pastored by the owner of the camp. What a great opportunity to touch these lives with the love of Jesus! My experience of teaching Sunday school classes and directing the children’s hour at my local church in years past was a definite advantage.

Throughout the summer, I was a camp counsellor in one of the many log cabins we had built earlier in the summer and was in charge of the after-breakfast devotional time each morning. Of course those who have worked at summer camps will know that you just fill in here and there and do whatever is needed to be done.

As I was very lonely at times, being away from Marion and my family, I was blessed to have wonderful fellowship with the camp staff.

A DOWNSIDE TO THE SUMMER

The downside of the summer was that the owner of the camp was not able to pay me very much for my summer’s work, and it meant that I would have to work longer hours at part-time jobs in the upcoming year at college. Not getting remunerated at the same level as other people with the same skills and training is something you have to get accustomed to in full-time Christian service. It’s all part of the price you pay. You had better not be in it for the money!

LAST DAY AND BACK IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS

On my last day at the camp, the owner drove me to Montreal to board the train for Toronto Union Station, where Marion would meet me and we would once again be in each other’s loving arms (and for quite a while too!). We decided that on Saturday we would go to Centre Island for a picnic. That day I met Marion at her home, where she and her mother had prepared a delicious picnic lunch. We took the streetcar to the docks and boarded an island ferry. What a joy to be together again after a long four-month separation! What we didn’t know was that the next summer we would be separated again, but at least not so far away from each other.

SUMMER STUDENT PASTORATE

I was coming to the second year of my theological studies, and I wondered what I should do for the summer. I soon had the answer.

Dr. Halliday, the same man who had phoned me about working at the camp in Quebec, called me again, with the news that a little Baptist church in east Hamilton was looking for someone to be their pastor for the summer, with perhaps a view to calling him as their full-time pastor. The pastor of the church had just resigned, as he had run into some major issues with the board of elders and membership. It didn’t sound like the happiest situation to get involved in, but it seemed to me like a great opportunity to get my feet wet (as the saying goes) in what I believed would be my life’s work. I had already learned a great deal in my years at Bible college about preaching and pastoring, so I was excited about putting some of it into practice. I agreed to take on the assignment, and within days I had packed my bags and was on the train to go live with a delightful elderly couple for the summer and commence my first pastoral experience.

MANY FIRSTS

Of course there were many firsts, including observing our Lord’s Supper (Communion), baptizing new believers, and officiating at my first wedding ceremony and first funeral service. I didn’t experience any anxiety or nervousness before or during any of these firsts, as being in the public eye has always come naturally to me. And further I was leaning on the promise that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV).

We had a humorous experience at one of our Communion services. The lady who prepared the elements also prepared her son’s lunch each morning before he left for work at the steel company. This Sunday she buttered the slices of bread and put in a couple of tomatoes. Unfortunately, she got the bags mixed up, and when I went to break the bread, I had butter all over my fingers. I just went through with the service, and we all had a good laugh about it after. Perhaps Mrs. Bell was trying to butter up her pastor or congregants referred to their pastor after the service as “Butterfingers.”

Although being away from Marion for much of the summer wasn’t easy for me, she was able to accompany me for a few weekends and stayed at one of the other members’ homes. The people loved her pleasant and caring manner and were thinking, I am sure, that she would make a wonderful pastor’s wife.

FALL AND WINTER STUDENT PASTORATE

When I was approaching the end of my summer pastorate in Hamilton, the members decided that they would like me to continue on as the student pastor for the fall and winter while I completed my final year of studies at Bible college. I agreed to do that, and every weekend I travelled by train back and forth between Toronto and Hamilton. It meant that I was a very busy young man with my studies, travels, and work, leaving little time for Marion and me to spend together. She handled it all very well, anticipating—as I was—the day when we would commit ourselves to living together as husband and wife.

During my student pastor days at the church during the summer, fall and winter, many new people attended our services and came into membership. Many of these were parents of children we had reached through our vacation Bible school, our Sunday school, a Friday night children’s program, and my work with the youth of the community.

A CALL TO FULL-TIME PASTORATE

As I was approaching my graduation and the conclusion of my student pastorate, the board and membership decided to extend a call to me to become their full-time pastor. Marion and I prayed about this, and we felt that God would have us accept the invitation and thus launch my full-time pastoral ministry.

MY GRADUATION

The graduation ceremonies of Toronto Bible College were held in April of each year in Toronto’s Varsity Arena on Bloor St. It was always considered a very special event in church circles. In fact it had become known as the religious event of the year in Toronto. TBC (as most people referred to it) graduation ceremonies featured inspiring music from the well-trained college musical groups (mass choir, duets, quartets and solos) and soul-stirring congregational singing by the thousands of people in attendance. Ceremonies at my graduation were no different, except for one thing: I had been chosen to deliver one of the valedictorian addresses. What a thrill! For the first time in my life I would face three thousand people and declare what my years at the college had meant to me and more importantly what God’s Word and the Lord Jesus Christ meant to me. What an additional thrill it was to have my mom and nine siblings in the audience praying for me—and probably praying that I wouldn’t forget any of my lines! I was just as comfortable in front of thousands as I was in front of the 100 or so in my parish in Hamilton. It was also a joy to have a busload of parishioners from my parish in Hamilton in attendance.

Toronto Bible College was founded in 1894 as an interdenominational training centre for Christian young people who were considering full-time Christian service as a minister or foreign missionary and also for those who simply wanted to further their knowledge of the Bible and related subjects. In 1906 John McNicol became the principal of the school, and he continued in that position until 1946. However, Dr. McNicol continued his lectures until 1954, which meant that I was blessed to sit under his Spirit-filled ministry. He lectured from the series of books he had written, entitled Thinking Through the Bible, taking us students verse by verse through the Word of God. What a joy it was to take in his lectures!

On the occasion of Dr. McNicol’s 40th anniversary as principal of TBC, William Lyon Mackenzie King, then prime minister of Canada, wrote, “In our days at the University of Toronto, no undergraduate stood in higher esteem than John McNicol. That regard for his attainments of character and scholarship has grown with the years and today is recognized throughout Canada and the world.” No wonder Dr. John McNicol had such a profound influence on my life, both as a student and as a Christian leader, as did all the many professors of the college.

REACHING YOUTH

When I commenced my student pastorate, the congregation numbered around 30 (mostly older people). However, by the time I completed my three-year full-time pastorate, the attendance had more than quadrupled, with the majority of those being young couples and youth. Reaching youth for Christ has been one of the strongest aspects of my pastoral ministry. I have always believed that if a parish is to have a future ministry, it must reach out to youth in the present. I did so at this parish, my first, by holding gym nights in the local school during the fall and winter, playing softball with youth during the summer, and teaching a youth Bible class on Sunday mornings. What a thrill—in this parish and in all three of my parishes—to look out over the Sunday morning congregation and see so many youth, most of whom I had the joy of bringing into the church and, more importantly, into a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus.

MY ORDINATION

It was in this church that I was ordained to the Baptist ministry. How lovely that my mom (who had been diagnosed with cancer at that time) could be present for such an important milestone in her son’s ministry and hear her son introduced as the Rev. Ernest Nullmeyer. It sounded good to me too!

Marion was very active in the church, leading a monthly women’s group, teaching a teenage girls’ Sunday school class and visiting the sick and shut-in on her own and also accompanying me. Everyone in the congregation loved her. She was in excellent health at the time and had no idea—thank God—what was ahead in regards to her health.

MINISTRY TO YOUTH PAID OFF

Many years following my ministry in my first parish, I was preaching at an anniversary service in Toronto, and after the service a tall good-looking young man came up to me and said, “Do you remember me?”

I looked him in the eyes (eyes never change, even though other physical features do) and replied, “I think your first name is Ron.”

Well, that brought a big smile to his face, and he responded, “Yes, from Normanhurst Baptist. I came to Christ under your ministry there, and now I am an elder in this church.” That brought a huge smile to my face! He then introduced me to his lovely wife and children. Yes, I had through my preaching, teaching, and activities with the youth sown the seed of God’s Word, the congregants had watered it with their prayers, and God had brought it to fruition (1 Corinthians 3:5–7). Praise be to God!

A NEW PASTORATE

As I was approaching the end of three years at my first parish, I received an invitation to preach for a “call” (as Baptists call it) to a little downtown church in Barrie (Collier St. Baptist). The pulpit committee had visited my parish in Hamilton and liked what they heard and saw, particularly impressed, I am sure, with so many youth in the congregation. After hearing me preach, the members voted 100 percent in favour of issuing a call to me, and in March 1953 Marion and I moved to Barrie.

It was not long until the little sanctuary couldn’t accommodate the number of people that were attending. It was time to start looking for property outside of the downtown area. We purchased a property, and soon construction began of an edifice that would accommodate our large and growing Sunday services, Sunday school and weekday youth groups. While our new building was under construction we moved our services to a large Independent Order of Foresters (IOOF) hall. Dances were held there on Saturday evenings, so we had to have a large crew of volunteers turn up early on Sunday mornings to clean the place and set up 300 chairs. We then moved to an elementary school around the corner from our new location, which enabled us to use the classrooms for Sunday school classes.

The day we held dedication services in our beautiful new church building was one of the most exciting of my pastoral ministry, and what a joy to have my mom, brother and all eight sisters present for the grand opening!

During my nine-year ministry at what was now called Emmanuel Baptist, I had the joy of seeing the congregation grow exponentially from 40 to over 400. Much of the growth was due to my radio ministry on Wednesday mornings (Good News Broadcast) and our Sunday Evening Gospel Hour and maybe a little to my dynamic preaching style and also my appeal to youth. As occurred in my first parish in Hamilton, we witnessed amazing growth in that area of our church life. As I was still in my twenties in my early years at Emmanuel, I had the physical energy and stamina to be involved in all kinds of activities with the youth, including sports. What a joy to have many of our youth go into full-time Christian service and for many to go on serving our Lord in congregations wherever they settled!

While I was the pastor at Emmanuel, we were blessed with three boys coming into our lives: Barry, whom we adopted at six weeks of age, and Kevin and Bradley, sons that Marion gave birth to. Marion was a devoted mother to our three boys, taking an interest in every aspect of their lives and giving them the most important gifts a mother (or father) can give to their children: attention, acceptance, affirmation, appreciation and, above all, affection.

STORM CLOUDS APPEARING

While I was pastoring at Emmanuel, I began to notice radical changes in Marion’s health. She was showing signs of severe lethargy when trying to carry out her responsibilities as a homemaker and a pastor’s wife. We made a visit to our family doctor, which became the first of a long series of visits as he tried to diagnose what Marion’s health problem was. When he became stymied he sent us to an internist, who also was unable to ascertain the underlying cause of her continuous decline in energy.

Marion also had problems with breathing due to nasal polyps, and she had to go through eight miserable surgeries to remove them. It was yet another health challenge for her to deal with and dragged her down physically and emotionally.

Marion was seen by numerous specialists to try to diagnose her underlying medical problem, and she was prescribed many powerful medications to help lessen the pain she was constantly experiencing in many parts of her body. One drug she was prescribed was prednisone, which can have serious and deleterious side effects, including confusion, anxiety, restlessness, insomnia and mental depression.

When the doctors were unable to come up with a satisfactory diagnosis, one suggested that she must be suffering from neurosis. Only after her medical condition had resulted in constant migraines, the loss of most of her hearing and a kidney and finally liver disease was she diagnosed with an auto-immune disease known as lupus. However, in spite of all her health challenges, she courageously carried on her responsibilities as a loving mother and dedicated pastor’s wife.

MY THIRD and LAST PASTORATE

The pastor of Stanley Avenue Baptist Church in west Hamilton had recently resigned after a long and successful ministry, so the church was looking for his successor. The pulpit committee had heard of a pastor in Barrie whose ministry had been very much blessed of the Lord. So the committee visited Emmanuel Baptist for a Sunday morning worship service and heard me preach. A point of interest was that the committee arrived late, and because our sanctuary was always filled to capacity, except sometimes the front row, the men (all dressed in dark suits) had to be ushered to the front. That caused my congregants to wonder what might be going on. After the service, the group of seven men asked to meet with me in my study. There they explained that their pastor had resigned and they were looking for a younger man to become the new pastor. I listened with interest, and then the chairman of the committee asked me if I would consider a call to be their new minister. I said I would pray about it, and after we prayed together for God’s guidance they left to return to Hamilton.

I had been feeling for some time that perhaps I should be moving on to a new challenge in my ministry. Four weeks after the visit of the pulpit committee, I received a letter from the chair of the committee stating that at a recent meeting of the membership, they had voted 100 percent to have me preach at a Sunday service, with a view to inviting me to be their new pastor. Marion and I prayed about it for a week and concluded that I should accept the invitation to preach at the church, and if they issued a call following that, I would accept.

The membership met and voted 100 percent to invite me to be their new pastor. I commenced my ministry in November of 1962 and saw the blessing of our Lord upon the work for 10 years. During that time we made major renovations to the building (which was 73 years old). These included renovating the washrooms and dividing the lower auditorium into Sunday school departments and a bright new nursery. We also completed the under-construction Christian education wing. During my ministry, the Sunday school tripled from 100 to 300, the youth groups tripled, and Sunday congregations grew, with many new people attending and joining the church.

MARION’S HOSPITALIZATION

Marion’s health continued to decline, so much so that she experienced her second nervous breakdown and a suicide attempt. She was rushed to St. Joseph Hospital, where she was admitted to the psychiatric ward under the care of the director of the ward, Dr. Isaac Sakinofsky. We could not have asked for a more compassionate and competent psychiatrist. These were incredibly painful days for the boys and for me. Here I was with a very ill wife, three boys (ages 16, 13 and 10), and a growing parish. As I look back, I’m amazed that I didn’t experience a nervous breakdown. The Bible truths I leaned heavily upon were “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV) and “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Marion was hospitalized for six weeks, and then came the painful transition for her to get back into homemaking and being a pastor’s wife. Before she was released from the hospital, the doctor requested that I meet with him. He made it clear that if I didn’t change my vocation as a pastor, Marion would be headed toward another nervous breakdown, and even worse. Of course the uppermost thoughts in my mind were What will I get into?, How does one make the transition from being a pastor to another kind of vocation? and Who would want to hire a former pastor?

I continued on as pastor of the church until I knew what God would lead me into. The elders of the church and the congregants were very understanding through all this challenging time. Once again it was a very painful time for our family. As I look back I thank God for the mature way my boys handled all this adversity in spite of their young age.

LOSS OF MY CHOSEN VOCATION

The decision I had to make to get out of pastoral ministry (which I loved so much, had been called to and trained for) brought indescribable emotional pain. Indeed it was one the most traumatic experiences of my life! It also caused considerable consternation among my former congregants, who didn’t know all the circumstances. Word even got around that “Pastor Nullmeyer had lost his faith.” In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. If ever I needed faith and to lean upon my Lord, it was now! Let me add here that this decision caused Marion very deep guilt feelings about being responsible for me having to leave the ministry. But it was a reality that had to be faced, and I put into practice the three principles that I have written about in part 2, chapter 1: accept, adapt, and advance. And more importantly, I leaned heavily on the promises of God as the prophet Isaiah articulates them: “Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you…I will help you…I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness” (Isaiah 41:10, WEB) and “I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand” (Isaiah 42:6). The Psalmist declares, “You hold me by my right hand” (Psalm 73:23).

How often we see children who panic about something, and as soon as a parent takes hold of their hand, they settle down and look up and smile at Mommy or Daddy. They know that they are in good hands. That’s how we should feel, knowing that we are in God’s hands at all times! “Don’t be afraid…When you pass through the waters, I will be with you” (Isaiah 43:1–2, WEB). That deserves a “Wow!”

NOW WHAT?

Now the question became, what should I do for employment? Who wants to hire a former Baptist minister? I decided to lean heavily on a Bible passage I had memorized in my youth: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him [bring God into the circle and centre of your problem], and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6, NKJV). Another passage became a light in the dark tunnel of uncertainty for me: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7). That deserves another “Wow!”

AMAZING PHONE CALL

While I was out of work, God was at work! He always is in His children’s lives. He is our Heavenly Father, and He will never leave us or forsake us. The Psalmist writes, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him” (Psalm 103:13). And here’s how I paraphrase verse 14: “Our Heavenly Father knows all about us; He remembers how fragile we can be, just like dust.” My Heavenly Father knew how weak and helpless I was feeling, as a husband and a father.

Yes, God was at work, so it didn’t take long for my prayer for employment to be answered. Another Bible verse came to mind: “Before they call I will answer” (Isaiah 65:24).

Some weeks after my meeting with the doctor—and with the employment aspect of my life in limbo—a former member of my parish in Barrie called me. He had had lunch with a friend of his, who was also a former member of my Barrie parish and a board member of Canadian Keswick Bible Conference, and they were looking for a new conference director. He said that he didn’t know why but my name had come to his mind. Of course I knew why! He then asked me if I would be interested in meeting to discuss the matter. Without hesitating I said, “Yes, I would be interested.”

A meeting was set up with the executive of the board of directors. I met with them in Toronto, and after considerable questioning they offered me the position. Once again I didn’t hesitate, as this would relieve Marion of her responsibilities of being a pastor’s wife, give me the opportunity to still be involved in Christian service, and of course make it possible for me to continue to provide the necessities of life for my wife and sons.

Keswick—as it was affectionately called by the thousands of Canadians and Americans who had been there as guests through the years—was the largest and most prestigious Christian summer resort in North America. I commenced my new type of Christian ministry in April 1972. I write about other Keswick details in part 1, chapter 2.