Читать книгу At the Edge of Life - Essa Bayoumi - Страница 10

3. Elbe River and the only possible truth

-1-

The weather in Hamburg that morning of September was especially uncertain. Although there was expectation of rain, a period of sunshine was equally forecasted. Would be there a wind; strong enough for a sailing boat to try a journey? The cloudy sky did not tell. The grey color dominates. Only the hope of change made it tolerable. It was time to go as it gets; except for those who put their will in front of nature regardless of the end results. Their deeds are their results.

He made up his mind and headed west to "Wedel", where "Hamburger Yachthafen" is located, where his sailing boat was docked. Today, he promised himself to find the truth.

After a night of doubts and uncertainties his life seemed a hard question to answer. Sailing will help, he was sure, not only to find an answer for a night's question, hard as it was, but for a whole life mystery. Or, so he thinks.

After decades of being together and with daughters and sons sitting around, his wife challenged him with the question: why he really lives, would be there a difference if his being stops to exist, does it really matter for her life to last with him?

It was obvious for him that a crisis was in the making and such questions were lurking in her mind originally, with herself being the subject of doubt; not him. He used to be the reason for any uncertainty faced her mind, and she used to obtain the answer that brings back her trust in life. But, not this time.

The children attendance to follow this was her message that a decision was made. The dilemma was that she was not asking the right questions, the confusion was her intention, not the clarity, the anarchy not the order. She had no intention for a truth to seek.

He entered the marina with heavy heart and preoccupied mind, why human being is destined to the misery of ignorance. He parked his car and walked the distance to where his boat was laid within hundreds of boats queued in parallel rows, waiting for those who seek a journey to the only possible truth. Is the Elbe capable to manage them all and provide each of them a destiny?

-2-

She was standing on board her small boat, located in the same row where his boat was, only few other boats in between. He recognized her silhouette while approaching, she seemed to be inspecting her boat's single sail, but nothing indicated her intention to start a journey. They were neighbors and members in the same yacht owners' association since years.

He noticed her smile upon recognition, before her voice welcomed him: “good morning Karl, you are not sailing today, are you?” She was in her forties, slim, short; her face speaks of joy, sharp eyes and body of energy.

"I want to give it a try, Doris, that is what remains", he said.

She noticed his distraction. He did not stop when he passed her to have a little chat as he usually did. Her voice reached him while he was getting closer to his boat, " are you sailing alone today, no one from the family joins you?”

"No one trusts the weather as I do", he replied stopping for a moment, considering what he was saying. "They think; for sailing you only need a good wind", he added.

"Probably today is not the best to try, if you seek a proper journey", she said.

For a moment he thought the conversation was meaningless, nevertheless he said, “every day is proper for sailing, you only need to seek the truth".

He did not expect her to understand, therefore he was surprised when she said after a few moments of silence, "that is the journey one seeks for himself; I wish you good luck".

"I will only try part of the Elbe, I need to test my patience", he concluded.

"You probably find me still standing here when you are back to tell me how it was, unless you find yourself in the North Sea", she said, smiling.

-3-

She helped him release his boat off the quay, and that was the last sight of hers as he recalled, or at least that was what he thought.

He started up his boat's small engine and took off, navigating the short passage connecting to the Elbe. Within ten minutes the boat was born in the glorious river. He shut off the engine and let the sail lead the boat through its course. His guidance was the brain-based positioning system more than the on-board campus, for he had been through this course tens of times since he started sailing from this location. He ignored the fact that there are no two identical journeys with the same boat in the same river.

He noticed few boats ahead of his, sailing under the mercy of a weak wind, or the expectation of a good one, whatever the truth is. But his attention was in a different world. He sought knowledge all of his life and considered it the true path to freedom. How ignorance became a force driving human beings and to what end? He always had difficulty facing evil with evil believing Good must be powerful enough to lead our lives.

But how this can happen if the Truth continues to be elusive and people, most of them, are more inclined to deceit and pretense. Has the Time something to do with it? This cannot be, as the Truth is not temporary but timeless and permanent. Probably our nature is made out of lies, unless we look into eternity, if we can.

His thoughts kept fighting in his mind while his eyes were fixed into the grey of the horizon extended to infinity. Was he heading to the North Sea without recognizing it? It seemed that the wind was friendlier than indicated.

“Aren’t there places in this world where a true will of peace could manifest itself? Can’t I find one of such places within myself?”, he desperately asked himself.

With more clouds accumulating above his head, he recalled Doris’s warning to get into the North Sea in this uncertain weather. He needed to maneuver a large circle to reverse his course back to Wedel in case the weather is his real risk. His mind was occupied by different type of risk and he was not sure he has the knowledge to manage it, maybe it only requires the simple truth of life, if there is such a truth.

Absentmindedly, he found his hands on the sheet trimming the sail, tightening and easing until after sometime he could reverse the course; of the boat, not his course, at least not at that very moment. What kind of sail he needs to adjust for his life to take the truthful course?

-4-

He noticed that the few sailing boats around had already reversed their course ahead of him. Only big motor vessels were progressing up stream depending on their powerful engines where human invention confronts nature’s ambiguity, assuming unannounced victory. They were seeking different course of truth. The glorious river was obviously accommodating them all.

While approaching the “Yachthafen” a small boat was visibly taking off to the river. He wondered who is onboard commanding such a small boat through uncertainty of weather while the day is coming to an end; as darkness started to befall. Is there yet another version of truth?

With the two boats approaching each other he immediately recognized the person standing on the smaller boat’s deck, she was Doris. He fixed his sight at the Elbe enquiring: “is that part of your mystery?”

“Hay Doris, what are you up too, you did not seem intending to sail today, not that late in the day anyway?”

Her face reflected deep concern while saying: “there was an unusual aura around you today that made me a bit worried, I could not stand waiting any longer while the day is disappearing and your boat nowhere to be appearing, so I decided to find out for myself what it is all about”

“Do you expect the river is generous enough to reveal its truth to a small boat as such?” he said trying a smile, “let us get our boats to the marina before it is dark”

“Karl, your words to me earlier were intently telling Atlantic Ocean mystery not even North Sea, or part of the Elbe as you imagined. To be honest I did not expect your return so soon, and my curiosity took me by surprise deciding to follow your thoughts wherever they took me. Obviously, they did not take me too far and I found you on your return” she said, while redirecting her boat following him to the yacht harbor.

“You found my boat Doris, not me nor my thoughts, unless we are in a different reality and such things are aspects of only one possible truth”, he sounded hopeful and optimistic, not sure she heard him.

She was touched by his tone, although his last words were absorbed by the awaken wind. That was what made her try to keep close; her boat, her thoughts and herself.