Читать книгу Confessions of a New York Taxi Driver - Eugene Salomon - Страница 9

‘What was the wildest ride you ever had?’

I have been asked this question so many times that you would think after all these years I would have a quick response to it. But I don’t.

The problem is there have been so many. Was it the girl who rushed out of the cab seven times to puke? Or was it the guy who, without the slightest provocation, would just start screaming? Or the basket case who got out of the cab in the middle of the 59^th Street Bridge? Or the one who got out in the middle of the Williamsburg Bridge?

Hmmmmmm…

Maybe it was the poor guy who was mugged while sitting in the back seat. Or the perfectly nice couple going home to Brooklyn who found themselves sitting between two cops who commandeered the taxi into the middle of a crime scene.

‘Yeah,’ I think, ‘that must have been the wildest’ – but then I remember the ride with the Mafia hit men – and I just can’t decide.

So what I do is this. When people ask me for my wildest ride, I ask them for a little help.

‘What’s your definition of “wild”?’ I ask. This actually makes it more fun for me. It’s my contention that I have some kind of a story for any category they can think of.

But I started to notice a pattern whenever I would ask this. First there is a pause. Then some giggling. And then, the BIG QUESTION: ‘Has anyone had – sex! – in your cab?’

Always ready with a quip, my reply is: ‘You mean tonight?’

‘No, no,’ they say with big smiles, ‘ever.’

Soooo… this is what’s on everybody’s mind (surprise, surprise!). Well, who am I to deny the public what they want? What I’m going to do is rename this chapter. Let’s call it…