Читать книгу Crystal Garden - Эвелина Баш - Страница 5

Next day Sunny didn’t show up at school, so I decided not to wait until the end of the classes and went to his home. Sunny opened almost immediately. He seemed to be ill and exhausted, barefoot, shirtless, in worn sweat pants. Sunny looked around, as if trying to make sure that no one followed me, and let me in. Without a word, he walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I took off my jacket and went after him. Sunny took a clicker and began to surf channels. He seemed to be scared, concerned, perhaps, even desperate. He was tapping his fingers on the back of the couch and biting his lower lip.

“You’re alone?” I asked.

He nodded nervously, still staring at the TV screen. I stood between him and the TV. Sunny leaned to the side to see what was happening on the screen. It was rather a mechanical move than the sign of real interest.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

He slowly raised his head, looked at me and bit his lip as if pondering over what to say.

“She’s in intensive care,” he said finally.

“Will she survive?” I asked.

“Gosh, I don’t know, Walter!” He threw the TV remote and rose from the couch. “If they find out that we were there, we would have a big problem,” he began to pace the room.

“You worry about our problems?” I asked after a short pause.

“Of course!” His voice was full of despair. “And you don’t?”

“That girl almost died right in front of your eyes and you fear that someone will know we were there?” I was frustrated. Her lifeless hand still cannot come out of my head.

“To hell with her, she’s a stupid… uh,” Sunny waved his hand.

“What’s wrong with you?” I went up to him, grabbed him by the shoulders and began to shake. “Who are you and where did you get Sunny? Huh?”

He pushed me away and sat on the edge of the coffee table.

“What can I do? How can I help her? Here everyone stands for himself, everyone is thinking about his own hide”

“Why the hell do you need all this?”

“What this?” He looked at me.

“Well, all of this!” I threw up my hands. “Drunken parties, drugs…”

“Dude, it’s cool!”

“What’s cool? I saw that girl. Oh, she was cool, just deadly cool. Why on earth did you want me to come with you yesterday?”

“I wanted to show you the real life.”

“Real life? C’mon, you call this life?” I was shocked, what happened to him during these last six months?

“Of course, it’s cool, it’s fun, it’s exciting!” He got up and came up to me. “That’s much more interesting than sitting at home every evening with some stupid comics.”

“It’s not stupid,” I said through my clenched teeth.

“But why the hell do you draw those stupid pictures?” He came very close.

“Because I like it,” I answered.

“So I do what I like,” he walked away from me.

“But I doubt that I will end up like that girl with my stupid pictures,” I said, quietly repeating his words.

“And I don’t care,” he almost shouted. “I don’t care what happens to me. But I have seen life!”

“Life, yeah,” I laughed bitterly.

“Yes, life, I take everything I want and you can’t even come up to her. You’re a loser!” he said as if spitting in my face.

“Look at yourself.”

I grabbed my jacket and went out on the porch. I was trying to fasten the zipper, but could not. I was beside myself with anger and resentment. What happened to him? We were the best friends, we understood each other without words, and what’s now? This gulf between us was becoming wider and wider. Damn! I pulled the zipper again and pressed my fist to my mouth. I wanted to scream. And then I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned around. He was standing barefooted on the cold porch and looking at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

We went back into the house.

“I can’t control myself,” he sat on the couch with his elbows resting on his knees. “I lose my temper and hurt the people who are dear to me. But I don’t want that. Damn!”

“I’m not angry at you,” I said. “I just want to be a part of your life, whatever it is.” I was standing in front of him with my hands in my jacket pockets. “I have no friends, but you.”

“Me too,” he said.