Читать книгу A Year at Meadowbrook Manor: Escape to the countryside this year with this perfect feel-good romance read in 2018 - Faith Bleasdale - Страница 11

Harriet lay back, closed her eyes and relaxed in the hot bubble bath. She felt her muscles all easing as she let herself luxuriate in the hot water. This was another unusual step for her, taking a bath rather than a super quick shower. In New York her apartment didn’t have a bath, she was constantly rushing, she had forgotten how to go slowly, but Meadowbrook seemed to be gently reminding her. And as she thought about her father, and his will, her siblings and the decisions facing them all, she enjoyed the hot water and the feeling of being still.

Only when she was about to turn into a prune did she get out and change for dinner. She had only a limited wardrobe of clothes with her, after all she expected to only be home for a week or so, but she pulled on a pair of black trousers and a cashmere sweater. She was a little anxious for the evening ahead, it was going to be a difficult discussion, and she had a feeling that she would be terribly unpopular when she told them that she couldn’t possibly do as their father wanted. Of course she couldn’t. Her father was right in so many ways. Her work life was great, her personal one pretty dire, but he didn’t understand how much she had invested in New York. She couldn’t give that up, it just wasn’t possible.

Freddie was mixing drinks when she entered the drawing room. This was her father’s favourite room, it was huge, with three custom-made sofas, a smattering of upholstered armchairs, a huge open fire, and floor-to-ceiling windows which looked out onto the small lawn that edged the drive. It used to have a grand piano in it. She remembered how when they were young the siblings would sit on the piano stool and bash the keys. But it was her mother’s, and her father had got rid of it after she died. He couldn’t bear to have it in the house and none of them had ever been encouraged to take piano lessons. A bit like with Gus’s art, her father had obviously found it too hard.

‘Hey,’ she said to Freddie. He smiled. He was too thin, she decided. Fred had always been tall, slender, but his cheekbones jutted out just a bit too much now. Perhaps she would ask Gwen to feed him up. She’d love that.

‘Vodka Martini?’ he asked.

‘Bloody hell, Fred, that’s brutal,’ she said as she took a sip of the glass he handed her. As the alcohol slipped down, she felt calmer, despite the fact that on sip two she would possibly be drunk. ‘But you definitely know how to mix your drinks.’

‘It’s one of my limited skill set. Dad, when I visited, said I made the best Martini and we’d sit and drink two, only two, together before dinner. It was our way of bonding.’

‘Did you get home much?’ Harriet felt the swords of guilt stabbing her again. All her siblings were here in their own way, for their father.

‘Lately yes. I liked to get away from London.’ Freddie’s face darkened. ‘So I spent a bit of time here. You know, I think that’s part of the reason for the weird video-will thing. He worried about us, I know he worried about me.’

‘Did he need to worry about you?’ Harriet asked evenly. He shrugged. ‘I miss him,’ she said, feeling an urgent need to think about her dad, to talk about him.

‘I do too. God, remember growing up? He used to push us, sometimes I felt he was unreasonably hard, other times I felt we, or at least I, needed it. He told me that my job wasn’t a job but an extended party. He kept waiting for me to realise that and find something grown-up to do. His favourite thing to do was to be my career counsellor.’ Freddie gave a dry laugh.

‘Annoying.’

‘Yes, but I would give anything to be annoyed by him right now.’ Tears shone in Freddie’s eyes.

Gus walked in, downcast, which seemed to be his usual state these days. Harriet wished she could hug him, but they didn’t have that relationship, or not right now, but when they were younger, they had been so close that they were practically joined at the hip. Especially after losing their mother, when they both felt as if they needed to take care of the younger ones. But when Harriet was sent to school it changed. When she came home in the holidays there was a distance between her and Gus which they tried hard not to notice. A distance with all of them which had never fully recovered.

Gus had married his university girlfriend, Rachel, when she got pregnant with Fleur at twenty-two, a shotgun wedding hastily arranged, so the distance between brother and sister had increased. They worked hard to maintain some kind of relationship, but Harriet didn’t get on with Rachel, or actually vice versa. So they drifted more and when Harriet moved to New York, their contact was limited to emails. She sent gifts for Fleur of course, but Harriet had been about as bad a sister and aunt as she had a daughter.

But when had Gus got so dour? He was never quite as laid-back as Freddie – no one bar a recliner chair was – however, he didn’t used to be this uptight either.

‘I know, new resolution, whatever we decide about Dad’s crazy will, I want us to behave like a family again,’ Harriet said, feeling a sudden urgency for her family.

‘I’ll drink to that.’ Freddie handed Gus a Martini and replenished his and Harriet’s glasses.

‘Blimey, Fred, this will have me under the table in no time,’ Gus said, taking a sip.

‘Good, you need to loosen up,’ Freddie replied with a wink.

‘Yes, well you might regret saying that when I’m legless,’ Gus laughed. Harriet wished she felt as easy with them as they seemed to be with each other.

‘Am I late?’ Pippa asked as she entered the room.

‘Just in time for a drink,’ Freddie said, pouring her a Martini and hugging her warmly.

‘Fred, did you make a vat of that?’ Harriet asked.

‘No, just a jug.’

‘Has Mark gone?’ Gus asked.

‘Yes, he has to work tomorrow and, well, we need to make a decision, of course. I felt as if it would be impossible but Mark made me see that it’s not necessarily so—’

They were saved by Gwen appearing. ‘Dinner’s ready, loves,’ she said.

‘Gwen, you know we can clear up after dinner,’ Harriet said. ‘It’s been a tough few days and we’d rather you relaxed than waited on us.’

‘Are you sure, I don’t mind?’ Gwen replied.

‘Honestly, it’s not on. We are big enough to clear up after ourselves, and I know full well you’ll be in that kitchen first thing in the morning making another delicious breakfast. Please,’ Harriet begged. She knew Gwen felt the need to work, but not every minute of every day. ‘Either go and see Connor or watch your soap operas!’ They both laughed. Harriet remembered how her dad hated her watching EastEnders back when she was young so she would sneak to Gwen’s cottage and watch it with her; their secret. Another memory that she had buried. How many more would there be?

The air was thick with anxiety as they went through to the dining room and they took their seats. It felt formal, serious, and Harriet had a thousand thoughts whooshing round her mind. They all faced each other; their father’s chair at the end of the table conspicuously empty. Plates of food sat in front of them, along with empty wine glasses. Gwen, despite being told that they didn’t need such formality, said she liked doing things ‘properly’. As wine was poured, silence descended. They tucked into their food, Harriet was glad to eat, although she felt a little fuzzy from the Martinis. She barely tasted the food.

‘OK, I guess it’s time for us to discuss what we are all thinking,’ Harriet said, taking charge yet again. Yes she was bossy, but she was the oldest and being bossy hadn’t done her any harm. She had become the youngest female Vice President in her department at the investment bank. And she headed up a large team, mainly men, earning a salary that most people could only dream of. So, being bossy worked for her, why change it?

‘Well Gwen has surpassed herself again with this dinner. She’s such a treasure,’ Freddie quipped.

‘You know what I mean. Dad, his will, or pre-will. Meadowbrook Manor and the animal sanctuary. Am I the only one who’s never seen it?’

‘Yup. They’ve built it out past Gwen and Connor’s cottages. Paddocks have been cordoned off, there’s housing for all the animals as well as a specific cat home and dog home,’ Pippa said.

‘I’ll see Connor and get him to arrange for me to have a guided tour,’ Harriet replied, efficiently. Despite the Martinis and the wine she was currently drinking, her brain had gone into work mode. She knew full well she wouldn’t be able to do what her father wanted, but she needed to see what her siblings thought before she showed her hand.

‘And animal sanctuary aside, what about living here? I mean how random is that?’ Freddie quipped.

‘Let’s go round the table and discuss what each of us thinks about it,’ Harriet suggested. ‘I mean, is it even possible for us to put our lives on hold for a year?’ No, she wanted them all to say. The idea that she might be the only one to cost her siblings so dearly seemed unthinkable.

‘OK, boss,’ Freddie laughed. He downed some more wine and topped up his glass, spearing a potato with his fork at the same time. ‘Well, I am currently living with my girlfriend, the lovely Loretta.’

‘Hey, how come we haven’t heard of her?’ Harriet asked.

‘Well I have, actually,’ Pippa replied.

‘Me too,’ Gus added, leaving Harriet feeling an outsider yet again.

‘Why wasn’t she at the funeral?’ Harriet asked a little more aggressively than she intended. What the hell was wrong with her? She felt a burning jealousy that the three of them all had a part in each other’s lives, but she was the one who took herself away from them. It was her fault.

‘She’s overseas, working – she’s a model. So she wanted to come but couldn’t. She’s gone for about a month. Anyway, although I am not sure I can cope living with all of you, I personally think we should honour Dad’s wishes.’

‘What about Loretta?’ Harriet asked, surprised by Freddie’s easy compliance.

‘What about work?’ Pippa asked, echoing her thoughts.

‘Surely they can survive without me for a year. Loretta can stay at weekends and I can still be involved with work, remotely. Did the terms say we could do that?’

‘I haven’t read them yet,’ Harriet replied. She had scanned the document, but because of the impossibility of the whole thing, she had yet to properly read it, was there any point? ‘OK, so Fred’s in. Gus?’ Harriet felt her heart sink. Surely Gus would put a stop to this nonsense?

Gus exhaled. He looked as if he carried the world on his shoulders and he also looked exhausted. His face seemed to wear sorrow which Harriet knew couldn’t just be down to their father’s death. Yes they were all grieving, but with Gus there was definitely more.

‘Well, funnily enough, I was thinking of taking some time off work. And Fleur loves it here, so it might help with our relationship. She’s twelve, going on twenty, and I feel that I have no clue how to be with my own daughter.’

‘Gus, what’s going on?’ Harriet asked. First Freddie, now Gus?

‘Oh, you know, the usual, premature midlife crisis and all that. And, you know with Dad dying, it’s just been a bit tough, but the point is that despite the fact I’m not keen on running the animal sanctuary, I would be open to living here. You see the alternative, not having the house in the family, seems wrong.’

Harriet had thought about that. Yes it would be terrible not to have Meadowbrook in the family. God, almost unthinkable.

‘But say we do this, for a year, then what?’ she asked.

‘Who knows,’ Gus replied. ‘I guess we cross that bridge when we need to, at the moment we just need to focus on this year.’ Harriet glanced around, surely they didn’t think this was a good idea? What on earth was going on?

‘Mark and I talked, as I started to tell you when we were in the drawing room,’ Pippa explained. ‘He said it was my decision, although like you, Fred, he said that we should probably honour Dad’s last wishes. In fact, he was rather encouraging, quite disproving what Dad said. I know we’ll find it tough being apart all week, but he could come here at weekends. That’s all right in the terms actually, I checked with David.’

‘But you are prepared to live apart from your husband all week?’ Harriet didn’t keep the incredulity out of her voice.

‘I don’t agree with what Dad said on the video, so don’t think that. We’re happy, Mark and I love each other and he proved that by saying that he would let me decide what to do about this whole thing. So I think that our marriage is strong enough for this, for anything, and I really would like to do what Daddy wanted us to.’ A lone tear rolled down her pink cheek.

Harriet remembered Pippa’s wedding day, the last time they had all been together. She’d spent a week with her family at Meadowbrook. The wedding was held in the village church and the reception was in a huge marquee in the grounds of the Manor. Pippa was young, not quite twenty-five and so excited. She was so radiant, she glowed. And her dress, a beautiful designer gown, had been stunning. It had almost made Harriet cry, almost but not quite. Mark looked handsome, top hat and tails, and their father radiated pride as he gave his youngest daughter away. Harriet was her maid of honour and, at that time, not wanting to be married, had enjoyed her sister’s happiness.

‘So, Pip, you’re a yes?’ Harriet couldn’t believe it. ‘Not more than a few hours ago we were all saying Dad was mad.’

‘Well we still think that, but this doesn’t seem to be so much of a hardship,’ Freddie said. ‘In fact, perhaps Dad was right, it’s a gift. I mean, we all get to spend time together, re-evaluate everything, and as has already been said, we should do all we can to keep Meadowbrook in the family. So, Harry, that just leaves you …’

Harriet sighed, this wasn’t exactly how she thought it would go. ‘Look, guys, I get that it’s all or nothing and I don’t want to take it away from you, but I have quite a job, as you know. I’m not sure I can just take a year off, I’m not sure they’ll let me. It’s complicated.’ She hoped she didn’t sound too self-important.

‘But you will see if you can, will you try?’ Gus asked. ‘Look, I’ve never been after Dad’s money.’ Gus looked down at his nearly empty plate. ‘But you know, he wanted us to have it. And, of course, there are our families to think about. Not just Fleur, but your future kids, if you have any. I’m happy to give as much as needed to the animal sanctuary, I don’t need a lot to live on, but I don’t want to lose all the family memories and that means keeping Meadowbrook. And it also, to me, means honouring Dad’s memory and doing what he wanted us to do.’

‘It’s all we have left of Mum and Dad,’ Pippa said, another tear rolling down her cheek. ‘I don’t want to lose it but, more importantly, like Gus, I want to do what Daddy wanted us to do. Because he might not be here, but he’s still our father.’ Pippa’s voice was full of emotion and something Harriet had to respect; passion. As her three siblings all nodded in agreement, she felt guilty, wretched. She didn’t have such a straightforward decision. If she said yes, she would kiss goodbye to her job, oh and her relationship, or whatever it actually was. If she said no, then she would lose her siblings and Meadowbrook. It was a lose-lose.

‘I need to check in with work.’ Harriet stood up, she needed to get out of here, have some time to think. She had mixed feelings; panic, anxiety. She loved her siblings, she loved her job; she was sleeping with her married boss. They had had an on/off affair for about five years now; something she hadn’t planned but more fallen into. She wasn’t proud of that, but Zach, successful, powerful, was a difficult man to resist. And as much as she enjoyed being with him, she loved her job even more.

‘Gwen’s left an apple crumble in the Aga,’ she said, collecting herself, refilling her wine glass, as, heart thumping, she left the room.

She made her way upstairs to the first floor. There were five bedrooms here and five on the second floor. The first floor housed the family’s bedrooms, the top floor the guest rooms, but, as far as she knew, her father didn’t have many guests. As children they used to play upstairs, but then they pretty much ran around everywhere in the enormous house. They were fairly wild at times, various nannies tried to tame them, Gwen too, but they didn’t quite manage it.

Harriet opened her computer. She knew the drill; it would be easier to email Zach, who never took his eyes off his mailbox, and get him to call her urgently. She needed reassurance from him that this was a terrible idea and that there was no way she would be able to stay at Meadowbrook for even a month let alone a year.

Zachary Matthews, the man she had walked into the interview room ten years ago with a desperate need to impress. He was tall, with curly brown hair, dark eyes, and a presence so commanding she was drawn to him like a magnet. She was so focused on the job, nothing would stand in her way of the much-wanted move to New York. Her and Zach worked closely together and at some point they ended up in bed together. It hadn’t happened overnight, it had taken almost five years before anything happened. A work trip to Washington, too much wine with dinner, and then up to his hotel room. He didn’t sugarcoat anything, romance it certainly wasn’t, but that was what Harriet wanted, needed, understood. No strings, nothing to detract from her job, no emotions. Harriet didn’t even know if she had emotions anymore. They were the same person; driven by making money, excited by the deal, obsessed by work, by succeeding.

She didn’t focus too much on the fact that she was sleeping with a married man. And every time her moral compass seemed to right itself and she decided to end things, Zach would smile at her and they’d end up in bed. Was she the only one? She doubted it. But there was something powerful about him. And something safe. Harriet certainly didn’t worry about him falling in love with her and she didn’t need to worry about falling in love with him. She had let that happen once and it didn’t end well.

But now her father had died. Which made her question what the hell she was doing.

She took a deep breath as she opened up her email and, scanning through the spam, she noticed an email from work. It was from the director of HR, with Zach copied in. As her thumping heart slowed to a dull thud, she felt bile rising in her stomach as she read it.

A knock on her bedroom door roused her back to the present.

‘Can I come in?’ Pippa asked, tentatively, as her head poked around the door.

‘Sure,’ Harriet replied, quietly.

Pippa made her way over to the king-size bed and sat down. Harriet was still at the dressing table, staring at the screen in front of her. Shock, fear, hatred all fighting to dominate her emotions.

‘So, did you call the office?’ Pippa asked. Harriet turned her head to look at Pippa. ‘Harry? Are you all right?’

‘I just checked my emails.’ She could barely believe what she’d just read. ‘And look.’ She picked up her laptop and took it over to the bed, sitting next to her, so Pippa could read the email. Harriet needed her to do so, because she still hoped she imagined it. It was as if she was in a nightmare.

‘It says that they’re making you redundant?’ Pippa said, eyes wide in shock.

‘Yes. Paying me off. Restructuring my department.’ Harriet shook her head. Zach hadn’t even sent a personal message. Her boss, the man she had been sleeping with on a semi-regular basis, had used her father’s death as an excuse to get rid of her.

‘But I don’t understand, they can’t do this, I mean you’ve come home for your father’s funeral.’

‘I think they must have been planning it, even they couldn’t come up with this in twenty-four hours.’ She paused to think. ‘Actually they could.’ Redundancy packages had been put together in a matter of hours. She should know, she had been behind some of them. Her stomach plummeted even more.

‘That’s terrible and surely not even legal.’ Pippa was outraged. ‘Surely you could threaten to sue them.’

‘I could, but I won’t.’ Harriet felt her body deflate.

‘Why not, Harry? That’s not like you. Why won’t you at least threaten them?’

‘Because, Pip,’ Harriet’s eyes swam with tears, ‘I’m not proud, but I’ve been sleeping with my my married boss.’

Pippa’s mouth gaped open. She shook her head and shut it. ‘But, I don’t understand, if you’ve been sleeping with him, why is he getting rid of you now?’

‘I don’t know.’ She really didn’t. But she did know that she would never walk onto that trading floor again. Feel that exhilaration of anticipation of the day ahead. Hear the buzz of the phones ringing, computers beeping – her favourite music. How on earth was she supposed to live without that?

‘What a bastard. To do it just after you buried your dad. And not even tell you himself. I mean, I can’t condone you sleeping with a married man, Harry, that was wrong. Oh goodness, what a mess.’ Pippa sounded distraught. Harriet looked at her. She was no longer the kid that Harriet felt so maternal towards.

‘Exactly, without my job I’m nothing.’ She felt tears threatening her, and she was almost ready to welcome them.

‘Oh, Harry, I am so sorry.’ Pippa hugged her.

‘It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have done it,’ Harriet stated, feeling self-loathing.

Pippa didn’t argue with her.

Harriet suddenly saw her life clearly. She worked long hours, mostly six days a week, she went to the gym to stay in shape, one of her closest friends was her personal trainer for goodness sake. She had a best friend, Mimi, who knew most things about her and a handful of social friends, all high-flying single career women who she drank cocktails, ate at the latest restaurants and bitched about work and men with – in that order. She had a beautiful but barely furnished apartment – who had time to decorate a place that she barely spent any time in? A wardrobe of fabulous clothes, ditto shoes, and a city life that she was in no way ready to leave behind. She was struck by the realisation that her life was lacking in real relationships, and maybe a bit lonely at times – was this what her father meant?

‘Ah. Well, listen, Harriet, I know now’s not the time to think about the future, because it’s so raw and such a shock, but we’ll sort it out. If you don’t want to fight them, then take the money, and at least you’ve got us and Meadowbrook,’ Pippa said.

‘Oh, Pip, I don’t know, I don’t even know how I feel. I mean, I had barely processed the fact that Dad’s gone and now I’ve lost my job, all in one fell swoop.’ She stopped for a minute and thought back to her father’s video. Was he right about her after all? She had worked tirelessly to succeed, to be the daughter that he wanted her to be, had she lost herself along the way? Surely not. She shook her head. He was just rambling because he wanted his children all together – still trying to control them from beyond the grave.

‘I guess that means that you can stay here for the year though,’ Pippa said, uncertainly. ‘Maybe it’s fresh starts all round, and maybe Dad knew more than we ever gave him credit for.’ Pippa sounded anxious but Harriet wondered if she could read her mind. ‘We’ll be together at least.’ Pippa squeezed her sister. ‘And get to run an animal sanctuary,’ she laughed. Harriet did not.

‘I’m used to running a trading floor, with millions of dollars at stake every day, so how hard can running an animal sanctuary be?’ Harriet asked, and then she finally burst into tears.