Читать книгу Absurd Ditties - Farrow George Edward - Страница 1

"'Tis really very, very queer!"

Ejaculated Justice Dear,

"That, day by day, I'm sitting here

Without a single 'case.'

This is the twenty-second pair

Of white kid gloves, I do declare,

I've had this month. I can not wear

White kids at such a pace."

His Lordship thought the matter o'er.

"Crimes ne'er have been so few before;

Not long ago, I heard a score

Of charges every day;

And now – dear me! how can it be? —

And, pondering thus, went home to tea.

(He lives Bayswater way.)

A frugal mind has Justice Dear

(Indeed, I've heard folks call him "near"),

And, caring naught for jibe or jeer,

He rides home on a bus.

It singularly came to pass,

This day, he chanced to ride, alas!

Beside two of the burglar class;

And one addressed him thus:

"We knows yer, Mr. Justice Dear,

You've often giv' us 'time' – d'ye hear? —

And now your pitch we're going to queer,

We criminals has struck!

We're on the 'honest livin' tack,

An' not another crib we'll crack,

So Justices will get the sack!

How's that, my legal buck?"

This gave his Lordship quite a fright,

He had not viewed it in that light.

"Dear me!" he thought, "these men are right,

I'd better smooth them down.

"Let's not fall out, my friends," said he,

"Continue with your burglarie;

Your point of view I clearly see.

Ahem! Here's half-a-crown."

The morning sun shone bright and clear

On angry Mr. Justice Dear;

His language was not good to hear;

With rage he'd like to burst.

His watch and chain, and several rings,

His silver-plate, and other things,

Had disappeared on magic wings —

They'd burgled his house first!