Читать книгу Absurd Ditties - Farrow George Edward - Страница 11

Lord William of Purleigh retired for the night

With a mind full of worry and trouble,

Which was caused by an income uncommonly slight,

And expenses uncommonly double.

Now the same sort of thing often happens, to me —

And perhaps to yourself – for most singularlee

One's accounts – if one keeps 'em – will never come right,

If, of "moneys received," one spends double.

His lordship had gone rather early to bed,

And for several hours had been sleeping,

When he suddenly woke – and the hair on his head

Slowly rose – he could hear someone creeping

About in his room, in the dead of the night,

With a lantern, which showed but a glimmer of light,

And his impulse, at first, was to cover his head

When he heard that there burglar a-creeping.

But presently thinking "Poor fellow, there's naught

In the house worth a burglar a-taking,

And, being a kind-hearted lord, p'r'aps I ought,

To explain the mistake he's a-making."

Lord William, then still in his woolly night-cap

(For appearances noblemen don't care a rap),

His second-best dressing-gown hastily sought,

And got up without any noise making.

"I'm exceedingly sorry," his lordship began,

"But your visit, I fear, will be fruitless.

I possess neither money, nor jewels, my man,

So your burglaring here will be bootless.

The burglar was startled, but kept a cool head,

And bowed, as his lordship, continuing, said:

"Excuse me a moment. I'll find if I can

My warm slippers, for I too am bootless."

This pleasantry put them both quite at their ease;

They discoursed of De Wet, and of Tupper.

Then the household his lordship aroused, if you please,

And invited the burglar to supper.

The burglar told tales of his hardly-won wealth,

And each drank to the other one's jolly good health.

There's a charm about informal parties like these,