Читать книгу Coma - Federico Betti, Federico Betti - Страница 16

XIV

I’m driving, I don’t know where to, but I’m driving.

I’m in a weird car, with the steering wheel in front of me, without the passengers’ sears, and around me it’s all empty and dark.

I can’t figure out where I am.

I have a terrible headache that pulses inside my temples and it creates a strong pain, that grows from minute to minute.

I’m not alone: I see a shadow that comes close to me, so I plucked up my courage and I ask everything, assailing it of questions.

When it gets next t me, the shadow appears like something… I don’t know how to define it… so, it seems a halo. It doesn’t have a face, I can only see the well-defined profile, as if it was the outlined protagonist of a comic book in black and white.

“Who are you?”, I ask, but this figure doesn’t answer. And I believe it, it doesn’t even have the mouth to do it.

The human figure is turned to me, as if it’s watching me, but he can’t see me being without eyes.

It looks like an extra in a horror movie, where I am the main character. However, I realize that I am not scared, but I feel uncomfortable: I feel exiled in this car, without the chance to get out of it and, even if I wanted to, maybe I wouldn’t manage to go anywhere.

Maybe, the only way to get out of this deadlock situation, or at least the most reasonable, would be to kill myself; I’ve been here for a while, I don’t even know how long, and I haven’t had any clue at my disposal to clarify my mind. This makes me take a huge risk: the risk of going crazy.

I’ve always been a calm and relaxed person, that almost loses his mind if he’s out of certainty, of a reference point.

I’m groping in the dark, and not only in a metaphorical way.

The shadow is still there, still, beside me. It moves an arm, or whatever it is, as if he was waving at me. “Are you there?”, he seems to ask; I wave back, but it’s like neither of us saw the other one. I still can’t understand.

I move an arm to try to touch the shadow. I can’t do anything of what I want to, and it’s like unattainable.

Nothing to do, maybe it is not the moment yet for some developments.

So, what should I do? Wait a little bit longer? Who will choose when things are going to change?

The shadow pulls back, goes back where it came from, and I stay still, sitting without any chance to know what is really happening, so I decide to close my eyes: at least like this I mange to rest my mind, maybe.