Читать книгу Snowkissed!: The Midwife's Marriage Proposal - Фиона Харпер - Страница 9

SALLY turned and walked back along the corridor, her legs shaking and her heart thumping.

When she’d imagined meeting him again, part of her had wondered whether she would feel differently about Tom. Didn’t people often look back and wonder what they’d seen in their first love? She’d often wondered if that would be true of her. Would she look at Tom and wonder what all the fuss had been about?

But now she knew that the answer to that was no.

She could see exactly why she’d fallen for Tom and she knew that if she wasn’t careful, she could fall for him again.

He was the sexiest man alive, with those sharp blue eyes, that brilliant brain and that unshakable self-confidence that had been such a draw when she’d been an insecure teenager.

He’d always been strong in every sense of the word and he was still strong.

Reminding herself that she wasn’t insecure any more and that she didn’t need his strength, she lifted a hand to push open the door to Angela’s room, but a powerful arm slid in front of her and turned her round, backing her against the wall.

‘Don’t think you can avoid me for ever,’ Tom warned softly, his blue eyes burning into hers as he planted an arm to one side of her, reducing her opportunities for escape. ‘You chose to come back.’

He was too close.

She couldn’t cope when he was this close.

Her nose picked up the tantalizing male smell that was Tom, and desire, long dormant, uncoiled low in her pelvis.

She flattened herself against the wall, impossibly aware of the strength in his shoulders and the hardness of his eyes.

‘What are you implying?’ Her eyes sparked into his and she pushed the past to the front of her brain. She wasn’t doing this again. ‘That I came back to you? Don’t flatter yourself, Tom. I came back home. My friends are here. Friends I’ve missed. I have as much right to live here as you.’

The fact that her friends were also his friends and family was something that she didn’t want to think about right now.

In fact, she couldn’t think about anything much with him standing so close to her.

She wanted to move but she couldn’t.

Her body was pinned against the wall, trapped by the heat of his gaze and by her own weakness.

‘Which is why we need to talk. This is a small community, Sally. Everyone knows about our past relationship. Do you really think it’s something that we can ignore? We need to deal with it.’

She was painfully aware of the warmth and power of his body so close to hers, of the fact that if she moved even a fraction she would be in his arms.

And that was the last place in the world she wanted to be.

Suddenly she found the strength she needed.

‘We both dealt with it seven years ago, Tom,’ she said calmly, her steady voice totally at odds with the rapid beating of her heart, ‘and people will soon get used to the idea that our relationship is purely professional now. Excuse me. I need to get back to Angela.’

His eyes narrowed slightly but his arm dropped and he stood to one side.

Feeling totally shaken but determined not to show it, Sally walked into the room and smiled at the woman now comfortably settled on the bed.

‘How are you doing, Angela? I’ve brought Mr Hunter to have a word with you.’ Desperate for a few moments to collect her thoughts and calm her frantic pulse rate, she checked the CTG trace carefully. Then she glanced at Tom, her expression neutral, as if he were a consultant she’d only just met and not a man who had been the love of her life. ‘Do you want her to be continuously monitored?’

Tom shook his head. ‘Not for the time being. There’s no reason for it, providing we keep a close eye on everything.’ He smiled at Angela and settled himself on the edge of the bed. ‘It seems as though I owe you an apology.’ His voice was soft and his eyes shone with warmth as he looked at the anxious woman. ‘When I saw you a few weeks ago I told you that I wanted you to try and deliver this baby yourself. I obviously didn’t notice how worried you were.’

Angela shifted awkwardly. ‘It doesn’t matter …’

‘It matters,’ Tom said firmly, ‘and from now on I need you to promise that you’ll ask me about anything that worries you and we’ll talk about it together. Do you promise?’

Angela looked at him and a smile wobbled on her face. ‘All right.’

‘Good.’ Tom nodded and took the CTG trace that Sally handed him, his gaze flickering over the paper, interpreting the results. Then he handed the paper back to her and took a deep breath. ‘Let’s talk about Caesarean sections,’ he said quietly. ‘There are a few things that I should explain. It’s a major operation, Angela, and it is not the ideal way to have a baby if there are alternatives. When you had your first child, clearly the doctors thought that a section was the safest mode of delivery, but this time I think you should deliver vaginally.’

Angela licked dry lips. ‘And what if I can’t?’

‘I’m very confident that you can or I wouldn’t be suggesting it,’ Tom said calmly, ‘but Sally and I will be with you every step of the way, and if anything about your labour suggests that a Caesarean would be safer then I’ll section you.’

Angela glanced nervously at her husband. ‘We’ve read about uterine rupture …’

Tom nodded. ‘All right, let’s talk about that.’ His voice was deep and confident. ‘Firstly you should know that it is a very rare occurrence.’

‘But it does happen.’

‘It can do,’ Tom admitted, ‘which is why we very carefully select the women who we think can deliver vaginally after a section. The chance of a successful delivery is lowered if labour is induced, but you’ve gone into spontaneous labour so that’s good. I’ve also taken into account the type of incision that your obstetrician used last time and the way that the uterus was repaired. All of that makes me confident that you can deliver vaginally.’

Angela shifted slightly on the bed. ‘So why did my last consultant want me to have another section?’

Tom hesitated and it was Angela’s husband who answered.

‘I suppose doctors have different opinions about what’s best,’ he said gruffly, ‘but it seems to me that Mr Hunter is talking sense. And you know how sad you were not to have the baby naturally last time. You said as much at the time.’

Angela nodded. ‘I know.’ She put her hand on her scar protectively. ‘But I don’t want anything to go wrong.’

Tom took her hand. ‘I know you’re anxious, Angela,’ he said softly, ‘but I’m asking you to trust me. And to trust Sally.’ He glanced at her with a warm smile, nothing in his gaze suggesting that they were anything other than the closest of colleagues. ‘Sally will be with you the whole time and I will be popping in and out during the day. If we’re remotely concerned, we’ll think again, but I want us to aim for a vaginal delivery.’

He was confident and totally in control and Sally saw Angela relax.

It was a shame he didn’t have the same effect on her, she reflected helplessly. The closer Tom was, the tenser she became.

Angela gave a gasp as another contraction tore through her body and Sally waited for Tom to move so that she could sit with the mother and help her through it.

But he didn’t move. Instead, he placed a hand on the top of the mother’s uterus and felt the contraction, talking to Angela softly as he did so, encouraging her to breathe properly, reminding her what her body was doing.

Angela screwed up her face and grabbed Tom’s arm, her fingers digging hard into his flesh, but he didn’t flinch.

Sally watched him helplessly, part of her wanting him to do something wrong just so that it would be easier to hate him. She knew he could be hard and insensitive. She’d been on the receiving end of his ruthless streak. She didn’t want to see his soft side. Didn’t want to see any single part of him that made him attractive.

‘Good girl.’ His voice was warm with approval as he spoke quietly to Angela. ‘That was a strong contraction. You’re coping very well.’

Flushed from his praise and encouragement, Angela let out a long breath. ‘But I haven’t dilated much. If I don’t hurry up, are you going to induce me?’

Tom shook his head and stood up. ‘In this hospital, Angela, we meddle with nature as little as possible and with as much subtlety as possible. If I induce you, your contractions will be even stronger and that will put more strain on the uterus. For the time being we’re leaving it all to nature, but obviously we’ll be watching closely to make sure she doesn’t have any surprises in mind. Have you considered pain relief?’

‘No.’ Angela shook her head and glanced anxiously at her husband. ‘Because I thought I was having a section. I suppose I should just have an epidural.’

‘You could do that,’ Tom agreed, ‘but epidurals are not without their drawbacks. Why don’t you start off by trying our pool?’

Angela looked at him. ‘You mean a water birth?’

‘I’d rather you didn’t actually deliver in the water,’ Tom said, ‘but it’s certainly an excellent way of relaxing. Would you like to give it a try? Many women find that being in the water really helps them cope with the pain.’

Angela glanced at her husband and then nodded. ‘All right. Yes, I think I’d like that. I always fancied the idea but with the first one I always knew I was having a section from the start and so I didn’t think it would ever be an option for me.’

Tom smiled. ‘Well, it’s an option now. I’ll get someone to get one of our pools ready.’ He turned to Sally. ‘Any problems, call me. I’ll have a word with Emma.’

With that he strode out of the room, leaving them all staring after him.

‘He’s nice,’ Angela said immediately, shifting on the bed to try and find a more comfortable position. ‘Very confident. The sort of person you feel you can depend on.’

Sally moved the CTG machine out of the way, careful to mask her own feelings. She’d certainly depended on Tom a great deal. In fact, he’d been her whole life, and when he’d ended their relationship …

She pushed the memories aside and settled herself next to Angela. She wasn’t going to think about Tom. She was going to do her job and settle back down at home.

‘Do you have any children?’ Angela looked at her and Sally shook her head.

‘No. I’m not married.’

Angela laughed and rubbed her swollen stomach. ‘As if that makes a difference these days. Do you want children of your own?’

Once she’d wanted that more than anything else in the world.

Sally smiled. ‘One day, maybe,’ she said quietly, glancing over her shoulder with relief as Emma stuck her head round the door.

‘The pool’s ready for you. I’ve brought you a wheelchair.’

‘Thanks, Emma.’ Sally slid a hand over Angela’s uterus. ‘We’ll wait until after the next contraction and then we’ll make a move.’

Four hours later Angela was progressing well.

‘I love the water,’ she moaned softly, closing her eyes and breathing carefully as another contraction hit her. ‘It feels so soothing. And I love being able to move around.’

Sally checked the baby’s heart with the underwater Doppler, satisfied that everything seemed to be going well.

‘Why do you keep listening after the contraction ends?’ Angela’s husband had been by her side the whole way through, asking questions constantly.

Respecting his concern, given their previous experience, Sally had been careful to give him detailed answers to everything.

‘During a contraction blood can’t flow through the placenta so easily. Some babies are fine with that, but others may not be and their heart rate may be affected. It’s a sign that the baby is stressed. If it happens in the middle of the contraction and the baby’s heart recovers quickly, we don’t worry too much, but if a baby’s heart rate is affected after the contraction is finished then we need to keep an eye on it.’

He stroked a hand over his wife’s head and offered her a glass of water. ‘But in our case everything is fine?’

‘Absolutely.’ Sally removed the Doppler from the water and dried her hands. She had been monitoring Angela like a hawk, constantly alert to any signs that her scar might be threatening to rupture. ‘How are you doing, Angela?’

‘Fine. I love the water. I’m just anxious about what’s to come.’

There was a tap on the door and Tom strolled into the room dressed in theatre scrubs.

The loose cotton fabric emphasized the width and strength of his shoulders and revealed a tantalizing glimpse of dark chest hair.

Sally swallowed and concentrated her attention on Angela. She’d always adored his body. He was the most masculine man she’d ever met and she’d never been able to look at him without feeling her stomach lurch.

It seemed that nothing had changed.

She didn’t want to feel like this.

Hadn’t expected to feel like this.

Seven years of absence was supposed to have cured her of Tom Hunter.

She closed her eyes for a second, trying to blot out the vision of those strong arms and that firm mouth, resenting the pull of attraction that tugged at her body.

She breathed in deeply and tried to focus her mind.

Better to acknowledge the attraction and control it than deny it and allow it free rein to consume her.

All right, so she was still physically attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be?

It didn’t mean that she was going to be stupid enough to fall for him again.

There was no way she’d risk exposing herself to that degree of pain a second time.

Clearly oblivious to her internal battle, Tom walked across the room, his eyes on Angela.

‘How’s it going?’ His voice was velvety smooth and he crouched down by the pool, his eyes warm as they rested on the labouring mother. Despite having a punishing workload, he’d been in and out of the room all afternoon, checking on Angela and getting updates from Sally.

And Sally had to admit that he was good. Because he’d bothered to spend the time, Angela was now totally relaxed with him, and it was obvious that she trusted Tom implicitly.

‘All right, I think—’ Angela sucked in a breath and gave him a weak smile. ‘Not looking forward to the end bit, to be honest. I’m just worried that Sally will leave me and go home if I take too long.’

Sally smiled. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Home was Bryony’s cottage. A lonely reminder that she didn’t actually have anywhere that was hers.

But she’d sort that out, given the first opportunity.

She was off at the weekend and she’d already made arrangements to view a couple of places.

Angela looked at Tom. ‘She’s brilliant. So calm. Better than pain relief. Everyone in labour should have Sally.’

Tom looked at Sally and she saw something flicker in his blue gaze. ‘I agree,’ he said softly, ‘Sally is very special.’

But not special enough to prevent him from ending their relationship.

Flattened by painful memories, Sally straightened and walked over to the flickering candles that she’d lit earlier in an attempt to help Angela relax.

Tom followed her. ‘You’re happy with her?’ His eyes were searching and she nodded, looking away quickly from that disturbing blue gaze.

When he’d made love to her she’d always stared into his eyes. Had been unable to take her eyes off him, hypnotized by the wonder of being with Tom. Looking into his eyes had been the only way she’d been able to believe that she’d actually been living the fantasy. That this amazing man had wanted her.

And when he hadn’t wanted her any more she’d almost died.

The reduced lighting and his low voice created an atmosphere of such intimacy that she felt the breath lodge in her throat. It was the cruellest reminder of what they’d once shared.

She had to remind herself that they were standing in a delivery room with a labouring woman and she was suddenly tempted to blow out the candles and turn on every fluorescent light in the room.

‘The foetal heart rate is good and she’s contracting regularly. No tachycardia or any other signs that her uterus is in any way compromised.’

Tom nodded. ‘Good.’

‘Sally!’ Angela’s tone was suddenly sharp and panicky. ‘I want to push. All of a sudden …’

Sally was by her side in an instant, Tom forgotten. ‘Don’t panic,’ she said quietly, reaching for some towels that were warming. ‘I’m going to get you out of the water and examine you again. You weren’t even eight centimetres last time we checked so I doubt you’ve dilated that quickly.’

Angela groaned and clutched the side of the pool, her eyes tightly closed. ‘Can’t I stay in?’

Sally glanced at Tom but he gave a slight shake of his head. ‘I’d rather you had this particular baby on dry land.’

Angela gasped. ‘I don’t think I can move.’

‘Wait until this contraction has passed and then we’ll help you out.’

A few minutes later Angela was lying on the bed, wrapped in a warm dressing-gown.

Sally snapped on a pair of gloves. ‘Don’t push, Angela. I’m just going to see what’s happening. I don’t want you pushing until your cervix is fully dilated.’

‘I definitely want to push.’ Angela gave a gasp and stopped dead, her fingers biting into Sally’s arm. Oh …’

Tom frowned. ‘How dilated was she when she went into the pool?’

‘Four centimetres.’ Sally examined her carefully and then straightened up. ‘Obviously all that warm water and relaxation did the trick. You’re fully dilated, Angela, and the baby is nicely positioned. You can push whenever you like.’

She looked at Tom expectantly, wondering whether he intended to deliver the baby himself, but he gave a shake of his head.

‘Your delivery,’ he said softly, a faint smile on his hard mouth. ‘Obstetricians only get involved if they have to, and everything is looking fine from my point of view. But I intend to hang around and watch.’

Just in case something went wrong.

Ignoring that smile, Sally turned her attention back to Angela just as Emma popped her head round the door.

‘Do we have action?’

Angela gave a gasp and her husband stepped forward and took her hand.

‘Go on, abuse me,’ he groaned. ‘This is all my fault.’

Angela gave a tired laugh. ‘You can say that again. You and your stupid ideas. “Wouldn’t it be great to have another child?” were your exact words.’

‘Next time I say that you have full permission to hit me,’ her husband said, his tone full of remorse as he stroked Angela’s hair away from her damp forehead. ‘What can I do?’

‘Just be there.’ Angela closed her eyes and screwed up her face as another contraction hit and she pushed. ‘Oh—I never thought it would hurt this much!’

Sally showed her how to use the gas and air properly and Angela breathed in steadily.

Emma was by her side. ‘Do you need me, or are you staying, Mr Hunter?’

‘I want him to stay,’ Angela said quickly, her breath coming in pants. ‘Please, Mr Hunter. If something goes wrong, I want you to be there.’

‘Nothing is going to go wrong,’ Tom said, his voice deep and reassuring. But he didn’t leave the room. Instead, he lifted an eyebrow at Sally and Emma. ‘Well, if I’m becoming a midwife, you’d better give me some instructions.’

‘You can take the baby,’ Sally said stiffly, looking away from his disturbingly intense blue gaze and turning her attention back to the mother. ‘Well done, Angela. Won’t be long now.’

Angela gave a gasp. ‘Do I need to lie down? I don’t want to make it awkward for you.’

‘You can deliver in any position that feels comfortable to you,’ Sally assured her, adjusting her own position so that she could see what was happening more clearly.

‘I’ve got another contraction coming …’

‘It’s crowning,’ Sally said softly. ‘You’re doing so well, Angela. Try not to push now. I just want you to pant. Pretend you’re blowing out a candle, that’s it—great.’

Moments later Sally had safely delivered the head. She checked that the cord wasn’t around the baby’s neck and shifted her position slightly. ‘We’ll wait for the next contraction, Angela,’ she said, ‘and then this baby will be born.’

But it wasn’t.

The contraction came and Angela pushed again, but nothing happened.

With a feeling of unease, Sally encouraged Angela to change position but still nothing happened and she was aware that Tom had pulled on a pair of sterile gloves.

He nudged her to one side.

‘I want you to change position one more time for me, Angela.’ His voice was confident and reassuring as he explained what he wanted her to do. ‘I need you more upright—that’s it. It widens your pelvic outlet. And now I’m going to see if I can give this baby a hand.’

He worked his fingers carefully inside, did something that Sally couldn’t quite see and the baby came slithering out into his hands with an outraged yell.

‘You have a son, Angela.’ His voice was calm and relaxed. ‘Congratulations.’

‘Oh.’ Angela plopped down onto the bed, her expression dazed and delighted. ‘What happened then? What did you do?’

‘I didn’t do anything,’ Tom said easily, handing her the baby carefully. ‘You did it all yourself. You were brilliant. Does it feel good?’

Angela stared down at the tiny baby in her arms and her eyes filled. ‘Yes.’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘It feels great.’

Sally blinked back tears and then cursed to herself as Tom gave her a searching look.

Bother. She always found childbirth emotional but the last thing she wanted to do was show that emotion in front of Tom.

An hour later, having handed Angela and her baby son over to the nurse from the ward, Sally went and picked up her bag and coat from the staffroom.

She felt totally exhausted.

It had been a long day, but she knew that it wasn’t the work that had left her feeling drained.

It was seeing Tom again.

She found deliveries emotional at the best of times, and having Tom working shoulder to shoulder with her on her very first day had left her shaken and tense. What she really needed was to climb. Climbing always relaxed her. It was the degree of concentration required, the knowledge that to allow the mind to wander for one second might result in a fall.

She stared out of the window, acknowledging the dark. It was too late to climb.

So she would need to find another way to escape. She needed to look elsewhere for relaxation and distraction from Tom.

She slid her arms into her coat and made for the door, her whole body tensing when she saw him standing there.

Her defences rose and her chin lifted. ‘Excuse me.’

‘No.’ He walked in and closed the door behind him, standing with his back to her only escape route. ‘I won’t let you avoid me, Sally.’

‘I can hardly be accused of avoiding you,’ she said lightly. ‘I’ve been working side by side with you for most of the day.’

‘And it’s been torture, hasn’t it?’ His voice was harsh and he breathed in deeply. ‘We need to talk about the past. About what happened between us. And we need to move on.’

‘It was seven years ago. And I’ve already moved on.’ She clutched her bag in front of her like a shield. ‘There is absolutely nothing to talk about. I can barely remember it.’

She shot him a look of pure indifference, one of the many looks that she’d been practising.

‘Is that so?’ His voice was soft and his blue eyes narrowed as he surveyed her. He was trying to penetrate that shield but her armour was strong, forged from the burning fires of pain and betrayal.

‘The past is just a memory,’ she lied smoothly, ‘and memories are easily forgotten over time.’

‘Well, you may have nothing to say on the subject, but I have plenty.’

‘Then that’s your problem, not mine. And now I’m going home. It’s been a long day.’ She walked up to him and lifted her chin, her eyes flashing into his. ‘Excuse me.’

There was a tense moment when she thought he was going to reach for her, but then the door behind him opened and he was forced to step aside.

Emma stuck her head round. ‘Oh, great, you’re still here.’ She smiled at Sally. ‘Bryony is on the phone. She said to tell you that she’s in the car park if you want a lift home.’

‘Thanks.’ Without glancing in Tom’s direction, Sally walked confidently out of the room, casting a smile at Emma. ‘See you tomorrow.’

She didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t want an intimate conversation. She just wanted him to treat her as a colleague, nothing more.

That was all she could cope with.