Читать книгу Summer in Sydney - Fiona McArthur - Страница 19

HE SAW her again, walking down the hill towards her home, and, yes, he had guessed at the time she might finish and had taken a different route home, because though he had heeded Sheila’s warning he did need to see her—away from the hospital and house—just to check in with her, to find out if she was okay and, Cort admitted, tell her how much he was thinking of her.

‘Hey.’ He felt like a kerb-crawler as he pulled in beside her, but she gave him a very nice smile. ‘Do you want a lift?’

‘I’m five minutes away,’ Ruby said, but she climbed into the car anyway.

‘How come you’re not on nights?’

‘Sheila swapped them round so that I’d be on with her so I’m doing a couple of shifts on Psych. I can work as a div two,’ Ruby explained.

‘And you’re liking it?’

‘Loving it.’

‘Not long now till you’ll be studying again.’ He glanced at her. ‘For your mental-health nursing …’

She stayed silent.

‘A few nights and you’ll be done.’

‘Yep.’

He turned and looked at her again and she smiled back at him but he was quite sure it didn’t reach her eyes.

‘Ruby?’

‘It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I don’t pass,’ Ruby said, and instead of looking at him she looked out of the window. ‘I can work as a div two—I’ve loved my shifts.’

‘For three nights’ work you can be Div One.’

Ruby shrugged. ‘If she passes me. If not, maybe I can speak to the uni …’

Cort knew he should just drop her home, should go back to his own and sort out his head instead of her, because he didn’t know how he was feeling. Elise was right, as always—if love came again, he’d expected more of the same. With Beth, passion had been a slower-building thing, colleagues first, then friendship, dinner, a steady incline to a higher place, but with Ruby it was like a rapid descent, this jump into the unknown.

‘Do you want to come in?’ As they sat at the traffic lights he just said it and he saw her frown, because they were two minutes from her home. ‘My place,’ Cort said.

‘Careful,’ Ruby warned. ‘You’ll be giving Ellie ideas.’

‘I’m always careful,’ Cort said, just not where Ruby was concerned.

It was the most stunning flat she had ever seen—not the interior, more the view.

Cort fetched her a drink and flicked through his post but didn’t open it. It was from lawyers who were tying up Beth’s estate and one from the nursing home too, no doubt with the final bill. He thought for a moment about telling her, but despite her smile she was dealing with so much already. He knew that, though he longed to share it, it might be better to wait just a little while longer, because this evening was about Ruby and getting her through the next week—his grief, his past, would still be there, waiting. Ruby’s future was the only thing that he might be able to change.

‘They pay registrars too much.’ She looked out at the view and swirled her drink. ‘It’s gorgeous.’

He couldn’t embarrass her or make her feel awkward—couldn’t tell her about insurance payouts and the guilt of buying a place that his wife would have loved. So deep was the pain of his past, he just didn’t know how to share it.

He knew, though, how to remove it for a while.

And if that sounded selfish, Cort didn’t care because he knew he helped her too. Knew that somehow she confided in him.

‘You need colour.’ She looked at his surroundings. ‘This is brown, Cort, not taupe.’

‘I’ve got colour.’

And that made her blush because his eyes were on hers, and her cheeks turned up the colour a little bit more.

‘Look,’ he said, because he was worried for her, ‘about nights—’

‘Am I here for a lecture or sex?’ Ruby interrupted, ‘and if it’s both, can we skip the lecture? I’ll be fine on nights. I’m just going to …’ she gave an impatient shrug ‘… not think about it.’

‘I’m shadowing Jamelia,’ Cort said, ‘so I’ll be around, but …’ he hesitated, ‘I don’t know how she could know anything, but I think Sheila warned me today, about you, about us. I certainly haven’t said anything.’

Of that she had no doubt.

‘Sheila’s a witch,’ Ruby said. ‘She’d just have to look into her crystal ball.’ But Cort just stood there, not impressed with her theory.

‘I don’t think we’ve done anything at work that’s been obvious, but there were a lot of people at the party and your housemates …’

‘They would never say anything.’ She had no doubt there either. ‘Siobhan was at the party. I don’t think she likes me …’

And that made sense to Cort, because Siobhan had made it clear on a number of occasions that she liked him.

‘Maybe they just …’ Cort tried for the right word and came up with a very simple one. ‘Noticed.’ Even if he played it down, even if he’d pretended not to notice, from his first day back at work he’d noticed Ruby, had found himself watching her when he hadn’t intended to.

And now he told her just how much he had … noticed.

‘I didn’t need help with that arm,’ Cort said, and he watched her blink as his words hit home. ‘Ted was completely zonked, I could have done it without local anaesthetic and he wouldn’t have felt a thing, wouldn’t have moved a muscle.’

Ruby started to laugh. ‘So you got me into trouble.’

‘You were already in trouble,’ Cort pointed out. ‘I do feel bad, though.’

‘For what?’ Ruby asked, and she felt a sort of warmness spread through her that this guarded man, one she’d thought she’d hauled to her room and randomly seduced, had been attracted to her all along.

Had, in fact, instigated it.

She’d never have guessed, not for a moment, not if she looked back and replayed every minute before that night over and over, because all he’d been was crabby.

‘I’m glad you told me.’

‘And you?’ Cort asked, not for ego but he was curious. Had the attraction that had hit been as instant for her?

‘I thought you were good looking,’ Ruby breathed. ‘I guess I didn’t think further. You were just …’ And she looked at him and told him exactly what he was. ‘Gorgeous.’

‘We have to be careful,’ Cort said, ‘till you’re done.’

And the warmness that spread through her turned to fire as she realised what he was saying.

‘I shouldn’t have picked you up today, but I was worried about you,’ Cort admitted. ‘I thought you hadn’t shown up for your nights. You told me you were on nights on Monday.’

‘Sheila changed them,’ Ruby explained again. ‘I have to do three, and she suggested I do them with her. I’m on tomorrow.’ He could hear the dread in her voice even though she tried to veil it, and he didn’t really understand. There were so many things he loathed. Every step he had walked along the corridor in Beth’s nursing home he had dreaded and her funeral hadn’t exactly been something he’d looked forward to, but he’d just put one foot in front of the other and got on with it. It had never entered his head to walk away.

‘You’re going to be fine. I’ll be at work, though I’ll have to—’

‘I know, I know,’ Ruby interrupted. ‘You’ll just ignore me like you ignore everyone.’

‘I don’t.’

Ruby just shrugged.

‘And I won’t come to the house …’

‘They really wouldn’t say anything.’

‘It’s a few nights, Ruby.’ Which sounded easy, except he’d driven around looking for her when he shouldn’t have and even a few nights seemed impossible from here. ‘Once it’s over …’ He left the rest to her imagination and, boy, did it soar.

She had been scared to even glimpse at a future, hadn’t thought that her blissful night with this incredible man could be anything other than a cherished memory. That a man like Cort might really want to get to know her more.

That, as brilliant as it was, it wasn’t just sex.

‘You’ll get through these nights.’ He saw her eyes briefly shutter, knew there was so much more going on behind that smile. ‘Ruby …’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

Maybe it was better left, Cort decided. Maybe by talking about it, he would build it up to something bigger than it was for her.

‘Can I have a tour?’ Quickly she changed the subject.

‘I’ve just got to ring work.’

‘You just left there.’

‘I said I’d check back.’ Which was true, but even though there was no real need to take the call in the bedroom, he did so.

There was only one photo of Beth.

And even that made him feel guilty—that the one he kept was one taken before the accident. He hated the Christmas and birthday photos that the staff had taken of what had been left of his wife afterwards and the guilt that came that he loved the woman she had been.

He chatted to his boss, made sure his messages had been relayed and put the Beth of yesteryear into a drawer for now, because it wasn’t the time to share it with Ruby. He wondered how it was even possible that somehow his heart was actually moving on.

Then he turned and he didn’t have to wonder how he was moving on because somehow, so easily, Ruby made it possible.

‘That is not taupe,’ she said of his bedspread when he turned off his phone. ‘That’s completely brown.’

‘We’ll go shopping soon,’ Cort said, and the thought both thrilled and terrified—not sheets, or whatever, but that she was being asked into his life. Then he gave a slight grimace. ‘Actually, I might have to go shopping now …’

‘I’m on the Pill,’ Ruby said, and she looked at him, ‘which is something I’ve never said to anyone before …’

And he nodded, because he got it, got the enormity of what they were both saying, the confirmation they were home.

It was different here, in his bedroom, Ruby thought. More special, somehow, to be here in his home. There was no urgency, just purpose in their kiss. And there was no chance of regret tomorrow, because it was still daytime.

She could hear sirens whizzing past and traffic outside as he undressed her, and that it was afternoon mattered, because the world was going on, it was they two that very deliberately chose to stop.

There was no music or booze or party, just each other, and she wasn’t scared that the light might break the moment because naked before him the light let this be real.

It was bliss to climb into his bed and watch as he undressed and climbed in beside her. She heard his phone bleep and he checked it.

‘I’m going to hate that phone, aren’t I?’

‘You are,’ Cort promised.

‘Do you ever get to turn it off?’

‘Holidays …’ Cort started, and then changed his mind, because he wanted the future to be different, he wanted a part of him to be solely devoted to her. And Doug was there, Cort told himself, and Jamelia was there too, and the world could carry on without him, would just have to carry on without him sometimes. He reached over and turned it off, and it felt like a holiday, felt like freedom, felt like life as he let go of the reins and reached for her.

‘What would Sheila say?’ Ruby asked as he lay beside her and started kissing her.

‘I don’t want to think about it.’

‘And Siobhan?’ Ruby laughed.

And then she wasn’t joking any more, she was just next to him and he felt lovely, they felt lovely, in a great big bed with them at the centre and nothing to disturb their kiss except the bleep of her phone. She said a rude word in his mouth and happily chose to ignore it.

‘You’d better get it,’ Cort said.

‘I don’t get urgent calls,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m not important enough.’

‘You are to me,’ Cort said, and she got back to being kissed, got back to the passionate man that no one but her knew existed. She’d been told that you couldn’t faint lying down but that’s what his kiss made her feel like. She felt the dizzy sensation of removal as his tongue captured hers, she felt the world slide away as his body met hers, and wondered how she had got so lucky, how the place she hated so much could give her something so sublime.

‘You’re my new-moon wish,’ Ruby said as he kissed her, his hand stroking her slippery warmth. Her mouth moved to his neck and she kissed it, then deeper, as his hand worked on, and she tried to resist her body’s demands. She was mindful of him and lifted her head because she didn’t want to leave a mark, but his thigh hooked over her and still his fingers worked their magic and still she moved her mouth lower and kissed his taut shoulder and then let herself kiss deeper, sucked on his skin as he brought her so close, and then she worked her head down, kissed him as intimately as he had once kissed her, tasted every lovely inch of him till she breathed and blew on him and kissed him again, and told him her truth. ‘You got me through.’

‘I haven’t finished yet,’ Cort said, and then she heard his wry laugh, because if she didn’t stop now, he might rue his own words. ‘Come here,’ he said, and slid her up to face him. There were no sheets now, they had fallen somewhere on the floor, so side by side they kissed and then side by side they watched, no barriers, no protection, because they were already safe, and the moment of merging was overwhelming. Cort slid into her and her body shivered and tightened and wrapped right around him. He pushed deeper into her again then he stilled for a moment but she didn’t want that, because he couldn’t come soon enough for Ruby, so ready was her body to join his.

‘Come with me,’ she said.

‘Soon,’ Cort said, because he wanted to enjoy her longer, he wanted the impossible, because as he drove into her, Ruby’s hips moved towards him and then towards him again, and it was Ruby who couldn’t wait a moment longer. There was such passion in him, such a rare match of want, that she could let go and feel him, feel the friction they made and the taste of his skin, could drown in their scent and call out his name. She felt the rip of tension run through him, felt the shudder of his release and the lovely spill of him inside her, and the absence of fear and the amazing knowledge that she could do anything if this was her reward at the end of each day.

‘You’re bad for me.’ Cort grinned.

‘You’re so good for me?’ Ruby smiled. ‘Can I tell you something?’

‘Anything,’ Cort said.

‘I’m starving,’ Ruby admitted. ‘I only had a salad at the canteen—I didn’t want to freak my patient out.’

‘What did she have in the end?’ Cort asked, because, amazingly he was curious.

‘A jacket potato.’

‘I don’t know how you do it.’

‘That was an easy one,’ Ruby said. ‘Believe me!’

‘I do—and I’m starving too,’ Cort admitted. ‘A certain someone put me off my sandwich …’ He did a quick mental run of what was in the kitchen. ‘I can ring out for something. I don’t think I’ve got anything … er … suitable.’

Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘We don’t just eat vegetables.’ She climbed out of bed and headed off to the kitchen. By the time he got there, she was already flinging open his cupboards and raiding his rather pathetic fridge contents. ‘It’s like when you’re on a plane and order vegetarian—we get a stupid apple for dessert and everyone else gets chocolate pudding. Why?’ she demanded.

‘I have no idea.’

Cort had never considered having anyone back at the flat, let alone the possibility of someone moving in, but now she was here, he wondered how he could stand her to leave.

She was colour.

A lively, vivid colour that was neither blinding nor irritating, but just by her presence she brightened the place. The television was on, not on the news as it normally would be early evening, but she’d commandeered the remote and had flicked to a soap Cort hadn’t seen in more than a decade.

‘He forgave her!’ Ruby was disgusted. ‘I can’t believe he forgave her.’

‘Again!’ Cort said, eating beans on toast on the sofa and amazed that even after a decade it was so easy to catch up. ‘She was at it last time I watched.’

What was it with Ruby? Cort tried to fathom. It couldn’t just be sex, Cort reasoned, even though beneath his towel, things were stirring again—what was it with her that made him want to dive right back into living?

He needed to tell her about Beth.

Cort knew that and sat there wondering what her reaction would be, but she was laughing and she hadn’t done that for ages, relaxed for once, which she needed to be.

‘Once your nights are finished,’ Cort said, ‘if it’s okay with you, maybe we could go away for a couple of days …’ Away from here, he decided. Away from a photo she’d demand instantly to see. To a place that was neither his nor hers—where they could talk properly, and if she was upset, they could work through it. The last thing he wanted was to trouble her now.

Her phone bleeped and, checking her messages, Ruby saw that there had been a couple.

Should I be worried?

‘Oh.’ Ruby winced. ‘It’s Tilly. I texted her about …’ she glanced at her watch ‘… oh, a few hours or so ago to tell her to put the kettle on.’ She texted back a quick message.

‘What did you say?’

‘Just that I was fine, and sorry.’ She could read his expression. ‘They wouldn’t say anything. I know you might find it impossible to believe …’

‘Not impossible,’ Cort said, and realised he’d be wasting his time telling her not to say anything about them. Clearly she trusted them, but reluctantly he stood. ‘Come on, I’ll take you home.’

‘Now?’ Ruby grumbled.

‘Now,’ Cort said, or he’d take her back to bed and then they’d both fall asleep and they’d have all her housemates to answer to. ‘Let’s just get through the next week—ignoring each other.’